A/N: So I posted a new chapter of my other comedy fic "It's All In The Past" you guys should check that out since I didn't receive a single review or anything...yeah, sadness...oh well. Anyway I posted in the authors note for that story that I'd update this story today so here I am. I have some stuff to say but I'll put it at the bottom. Here's chapter 19.
Also Zetsu is written like Sakura and Inner. White Zetsu is written in italics, black Zetsu in bold.
Chapter 19: It's Not Easy Being Green
'What do we say?'
Your subscription to Better Homes & Gardens has yet to be paid.
'What are you...are you suggesting we rob him?'
I'm just saying he doesn't know who's number this is, we could really have fun with this.
'We are not robbing him.'
I'm taking that as a no to saying he forgot to pay for his plant porn subscription.
'...Why was that an option?'
Why wasn't it an option.
'Because...I mean...Does that even exist?'
Probably. I mean you can find anything on the internet.
'Including plant porn?'
Don't knock it 'til you try it.
'...no.'
Oh yes, you know it will involve some junk in the trunk, if you know what I mean.
'Great now every time I see a tree trunk I'll be reminded of plant porn, of all things.'
See it's hard to get out of your head once you've thought about.
'No thanks to you.'
Looking done at my phone I sighed trying to think of a reasonable response that didn't involve plant porn.
Just say it's Sakura and you felt like hanging out, I don't know why it's that complicated.
'Well maybe it's because you're describing a date and no girl asks a guy out on a date.'
Then what the fuck was it that you were asking Sasuke?
'To go to the mall with some friends.'
Well apparently you don't have any friends.
'I don't.'
...Whatever. Anyway I don't think he'll ask you out. Not to mention he watches plant porn, you know that man must have some insecurity issues.
'Well, you made up the plant porn thing for one."
You don't know that.
'Plant porn does not exist.'
You wanna bet?
'I don't know does the bet involve me looking up plant porn online at any point in time.'
...possibly.
'Then no.'
You're no fun.
Looking once more at my phone I picked it up and entered the message that inner had suggested.
Sakura: This is Sakura. I just thought we could hang out XD
You forgot to put the period at the end of out.
'I don't care.'
I do. You also put a laughing emoji at the end. I don't see anything funny about this text.
'It doesn't matter.'
Fine but when he is confused about why you sent a laughing emoji, don't come running to me.
'How do I run to you, you're me?'
Run in place a couple of seconds.
'You're kidding.'
What excercise is healthy.
'I don't understand you.'
Does anyone truly understand themselves?
'That was kind of deep.'
Good.
Picking up his phone the strange two toned green man read the pinkette's reply.
Sakura: This is Sakura. I just thought we could hang out XD
Why won't she leave us alone.
'She's nice to us.'
I don't like her.
'We don't have to, we can say no.'
And why did she put a laughing emoji at the end of the text, there's nothing funny about it.
The green man replied short and...blunt.
Bipity boopity bop
What the hell was that?
'The phone.'
Oh that was a fast response, come on read it.
Zetsu: I don't want to.
'...Oh.'
It's because you wouldn't accept plant porn as a thing.
'I'm pretty sure that isn't it.'
Whatever, what a go get some ice cream.
'...yes.'
Walking to my car I pulled my keys out of my pocket.
Hey see that fern in the neighbors window.
'Yeah.'
That's a sexy fern, it's hot enough to be a plant model, yet roughed enough to be a plant porn star.
A/N: NO! I didn't want this chapter to be this short! ...Oh well, it's just Sakura and Inner really so it isn't that important especially since it's just a filler. Anyway I have stuff to say.
1. There is a poll up for Sakura's prom date, SO VOTE!
2. I created a cover for this story! Yay!
3. Read It's All In The Past! It actually has an okay storyline that I follow rather than making it up as I go (this story :D). Also it is a comedy and it's funny, although there are some serious points since it has a real storyline.
4. I really didn't mean for this chapter to be this short, so vote on the poll or I can't start the prom chapters!
5. I got a new laptop so I can finally type a chapter without it taking 10 F*cking years!
6. I an pumped! I got a gallon and a half of unsweetened ice tea, I got my laptop, and I just can't stop typing! So on to other stories I haven't updated in millennia.
7. Read and Review!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and I sure as shit don't own any plant porn (thank god for that).
From an evil author who makes readers wait so long she feels like crap, especially when at least one of her friends tells her to update once a week, but you don't care about that you just want jokes, you joke whores,
~awesomepigman