A/N: Yo I hope you all are ready because with this chapter I'm making my big comeback. We are at the 25th chapter and a fourth the way to my dream of a hundred chapter fanfic so I'm buckin' up and writing a damn good chapter here for y'all. This is the chapter you've all been waiting for so without further ado...actually one more thing….HOLD ON TO YOUR TITS, DICKS, VAGINAS, AND ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO KEEP BECAUSE THIS CHAPTER IS GONNA MAKE YOU LAUGH YOU NIPPLES OFF (UNLESS YOU DON'T HAVE NIPPLES IN WHICH CASE I AM SORRY IF I OFFENDED YOU!). Carry on.

Chapter 25: Gingers Have No Souls

That boy better have a coffin by his side when he sees us because we is drop dead gorgeous.

'Well said comrade.'

Comrade? Bitch I'm more than a comrade. I'm the chocolate to your reeses peanut butter cup; the toothpaste to your teeth; the Ennis Del Mar to your Jack Twist!

'We aren't gay lovers.'

Pull your head out of your ass, it not that they're gay lovers, it's the bond they share!

'We aren't cowboys either.'

DAMMIT WE COULD BE!

'I really don't think we can.'

BUT "I CAN'T QUIT YOU"!

'I should hope not it would be weird if my thoughts up and walked away, then again…

I can see it now actually, there you go walking down the street, and there you are crossing the road. Oh look, it's a car that's going to fast. The driver hits the breaks, but to no avail. Oh and there you go at a speedy 90 mph as your entrails bloody the road. OH NO THAT POOR GIRLS ICE CREAM CONE! NO INNER WHY! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE ME! DO YOU SEE WHAT IT"S GOTTEN YOU! BLOODY REMAINS AND CHUNKS OF MUSCLE TISSUE IN A LITTLE GIRLS ICE CREAM CONE! OH THE HUMANITY!'

Woah there Hannibal lets keep the cannibalism to a minimum for now.

'Your right prom should allow me to push aside my thoughts of killing and eating the rude, I mean no one there is rude at allllllll.'

I sense sarcasm and a twinge of irony in that sentence.

'I sense a false sense of pride and a coping mechanism that's failing.'

I sense the force is strong with this one.

'Okay there nerd lets not get too geeky here.'

I think we're at our best when we let our nerd shine like the Titanic in the sky.

'Why would the Titanic be in the sky?'

Never mind, if you don't get it, you don't get it.

'..whatever, lets head over to the building.'

I don't get why we have to drive there, we should have a ride. It's tradition.

'You know exactly why, Aunt Tsunade can't know who we're going with and thinks we're going alone, and personally I don't care about the stupid norms of prom.'

BUT I WANNA RIDE IN A LIMO!

'I wanna ride Zachary Quinto, but we can't always get what we want.'

...more than I needed to know, yet not going to judge because DAMN.

'Anyway lets get this show on the road.'

CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SON! THERE BE PEACE WHEN YOU ARE DONE! LAY YOUR WEARY HEAD TO REST! DON'T YA CRY NO MORE!

'You're giving me a headache.'

Just rise above the noise and confusion.

'If only I could.'

Whatever you ain't ruining my prom bitch.

'Bitch tits!'

What where?

'No, not physically. I meant it as a curse.'

You could've just said shit.

'That gets boring.'

True dat. Anyway why the need to swear.

'I'm going to ignore the irony in that statement and get to the point...'

You always do.

'We are going to the prom with a gang leader inner.'

Yeah, stating the obvious, uh huh. So where is this point you're supposed to get straight to?

'I'm saying screw trying to hide it from Aunt Tsunade the second we walk in there with him she'll know. Like a sixth sense.'

Yeah, like spidey senses.

'So, there's no avoiding it.'

Yeah how about we fucking enjoy prom. I mean damn I'm ready to drug you just to stop your complaining.

'How would you drug me?'

Very carefully.

'That's actually frightening… we're here.'

Okay lets go around back to meet a gang leader!

'Well when you put it like that.'

...and just like that I was standing in one of the most awkward situations if my life.

Oh my god.

"A bowtie?"

Yep the pierced ginger gang leader were a bowtie, try to wrap your brain around that sentence because there isn't a stereotype in the book that covers this situation.

"You know I can leave you anytime." The bowtied man threatened unsuccessfully (it wasn't very threatening).

"No, you're just like the doctor."

"Doctor who?"

OH MY GOSH HE SAID THE THING! DUDE HE SAID THE THING!

"Never mind, bowties are cool."

OH MY STARS AND PLANETS YOU SAID THE THING! YOU SAID THE BOWTIE THING!

'I couldn't resist he said doctor who.'

Thats my funny sarcastic girl. Even you can't resist a doctor who reference.

'Yeah…. WAIT I GET IT!'

Get what?

'The titanic in the sky reference I just got it!'

Yeah ya did.

"Just a warning everyone at this school seems to hate me. On a second note if you get the urge to beat anyone up, I have no issues with that." I said trying to move past the awkward bowtie conversation.

Especially Karin, she deserves it.

"I'm not going to beat anyone up."

Dammit.

"That's reassuring."

"I just came so you wouldn't have to go alone." Pein said trying to avoid eye contact.

"Oh, that's really sweet actually."

Damn! Is it hot out here or is it just the conversation.

"You say a word of it to anyone else and it won't seem so sweet."

Aw… I my spidey senses are tingling, I think you actually embarrassed the gang leader.

"Huh… Time to make an entrance."

We walked in and immediately felt the air become thinner it was packed. Prom was being held at the top of a skyscraper. So high place, lot of people, thin air, tonight was going to be fun (That's sarcasm).

I took only two steps before it happened.

I tripped. Not gracefully either, I went down like very ungraceful animal, like a giraffe.

Just to make the situation better I decided to laugh it off and say the first possible excuse I had as everyone turned and looked at me.

"Woah, looks like someone wants me to go to hell."

No one thought it was funny. By no one I mean everyone. Every single person thought it was hilarious. Every. Single. One. And when I say they thought it was funny I mean my graceful giraffe fall, not my joke.

Even my my partner in crime for the night (gang leader, same difference) turned to hide a smirk the conspicuous asshole.

"I saw you laugh asshole."

"I saw you fall, it was hard not to."

Have I mentioned I like him.

'Yes.'

Oh well I still do.

'Why?'

We share the ability to take joy from your suffering.

'Great. Thanks.'

No prob.

We were standing on the balcony in a not-so-crowded corner, by that I mean we were 3-4 ft away from people.

"You wanna spike the punch bowl." I said, yeah I said that, deal with it.

Pein looked at me questionably like this was something unexpected.

Yeah! This night is awesome, Doctor who, bowties, you embarrassed yourself, and now this!

'You would be an awful person if you could act on your thoughts.'

I can I'm you.

'Right. I'm an awful person.'

"So…?" I asked trying to get the gingers answer.

"You want to spike the punch?"

"Absolutely."

"Do you have any alcohol."

"Well no but…"

"But?"

"I know who does and where there truck is, I saw it in the parking lot."

"So your plan is to go to the parking lot, break into someones truck, come back up here, and spike the punch?"

"...Yeah."

"Lead the way."

I really like him, he doesn't question the plan, he just goes with it.

'Now that I think about how does he successfully run a gang if he doesn't question awful plans?'

Have you met Hidan, even I've given up questioning him.

"Okay you keep watch I'll go get the stuff."

Giving that smirk once again, I'll call it his signature smirk, I ran across a quiet parking lot for no reason at all, then took a slim jim to a two-door pickup truck.

'Where is it?'

You ever think maybe they brought the beer in with them to drink and didn't leave it in their truck.

'Yeah, they brought a whole case in… I doubt it.'

Hey what's that?

'What's what?'

Someone's coming!

Hopping out of the truck I dived into a nearby bush ruining my dress in the process.

'Awesome… I really liked this dress.'

Looking through the leaves I heard footsteps and peering through I saw squirrel running like maniac.

'A squirrel, it was a squirrel.'

Aw so cute.

Standing up I realized someone really was coming this time.

Turning to look Pein stood a couple feet away with his signature smirk and a case of beer in his right hand.

'He is evil.'

The longer the night the more I like.

"Where did you get that?"

"I grabbed it from the open truck while you jumped in a bush."

Why didn't we check the trunk.

'I don't know inner, I don't know.'

"Well then, everything seems to be going according to plan." I said brushing of the twigs and fixing my hair. "Lets go spike the punch."

We hit another obstacle fairly quickly. We stood outside the building a good distance away in the parking lot because we couldn't get past the doorman with a case of beer.

"Um, okay I distract him you make a run for it." I said fairly certain that that plan would work to an extent.

Ignoring the quiet response I got I walked up to the doorman to execute the plan.

'What do I say?'

I figured you already knew.

'No I just came up with the plan?!'

Well beats me, ask him about the weather.

"So how's the weather today?"

"We're outside miss."

'Shit.'

Now would have been an appropriate time to use the phrase bitch tits.

'Thanks for the advice inner, I'll take note.'

"So we are, would you look at that."

"Are you drunk, miss?"

"What? No! No. Nonono. I'm fine. Enjoying the night. How about you?"

"I really think you should head home. Would you like me to call a cab?"

"No that's really not necessary."

RUN LIKE HE'S GOING TO KIDNAP YOU AND PUT YOU IN A PIT TO STARVE YOU AND GIVES YOU LOTION SO HE CAN USE YOUR SKIN TO MAKE A SKIN SUIT!

Ignoring the silence of the lambs reference I followed inners advice and ran away to meet back up with Pein. My plan wasn't reaching its full potential.

"Lets hear it, you've got to have some great plan, right?"

"We could head in the back door."

'He infuriates me.'

He amuses me.

We were within feet of the punch bowl with the case hidden behind the building and two cans in my purse which would've probably been the best way to get past the doorman but never mind that.

I made my move and poured in a can while everyone was paying attention to a teacher announce winners of prom court. Big deal, the bitch Karin won. Made spiking the punch worth it.

"Hey who spiked the punch?" Was the sentence that made me smile ear to ear. Then they started checking students for any alcohol.

Pein grabbed my hand and pulled me into the elevator before the teachers could check me.

Now we were standing at the back of the building, outside in the infamous parking lot once again.

"I sort of knew prom would be something I wouldn't forget but I didn't think that it would be because we spiked the punch."

"That was all you."

I busted out laughing, I had broken into a truck, hopped in a bush running from a maniac squirrel, ask a doorman what the weather was like, and spiked the punch. Who else could do that.

"So that girl who won prom queen how well do you know her."

"Karin? She's the bitch that started all this."

"Oh, well I ditched the empty beer cans in her bag."

...I laughed so hard it and lost my breath, after regaining it I laughed even more.

"Hey Sakura how was prom?"

"Great Aunt Tsunade, just great."

A/N: YAY CHAPTER! A FULL LENGTH CHAPTER! I'M BACK THIS TIME I SWEAR!

- Anyway I deleted the tumblrs… I'm not good at keeping up with more than 3 blogs that's ridiculous… because yeah I have three blogs, I'm crazy.

- I love you all and miss saying that so much and I miss your reviews and messages and stories, please don't hate me!

- I have less classes this year and more time so it will be like old times again and I'll post a chapter twice a month for my stories.

- GO CHECK OUT FANDOM CONQUERORS BECAUSE MY FRIEND WROTE IT AND I'M IN IT! It's on my profile because she insists we are co-authors, but really I just add curse words and she doesn't want a fanfiction account so it's there just check it out it's cool!

Next Time: FLUFF! Finally I get to the fluffies, well okay one scene of fluff because I have a weak spot for fluff... Can you blame me?

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Brokeback Mountain, Reeses, Hannibal, Dr. Who, Spiderman, Zachary Quinto, Silence of the Lambs, Star Wars, or anything else mentioned in the chapter that I might have missed, and unfortunately I have some heartbreaking news; I no longer own a light-up yo-yo.

from a schizophrenic slightly obsessive chocolate fiend who shamelessly promotes and thinks you should check out her and her friends story fandom conquerors,

~awesomepigman.