Chapter 5-David Wants to Chat
Gideon
I check the clock on the wall and see that it is nearly seven. Ana and Charlie have been visiting the Grey's to show off the sonogram pictures we got at Dr. Greene's office today. Although the past few months have been difficult, Ana and the baby seem to be in perfect health. The relief I felt when I heard that cannot not be described in words. To say I feel comforted by knowing my family didn't cause Ana any harm is an understatement. Of course, it is too early to tell what the sex of the baby is, but as long as he or she is healthy I am happy.
My phone dances across the counter as I stir in the remaining ingredients to the Bolognaise Sauce, Ana's favorite. Without looking, I slide my pinky across the screen and jam the phone between my shoulder and ear. "Cross."
"Gideon. Ummm…hi…it's Maddy." The sound of her name freezes me in my place. I immediately whip around to see if there is anyone around. This woman has caused enough trouble for Ana and me. I don't want Madeline causing her or the baby any unnecessary stress.
"What do you want? Why are you calling me?" I snap. I can't believe she would have the nerve to contact me after everything that has happened.
"I'm sorry. Is this a bad time?" Her meek voice is almost a whisper. I grip the countertop and take a deep cleansing breath before I continue.
"No. What is it?" I grit though my thinned lips and close my eyes to keep my temper in check.
"I know that we are going to go to that therapist next week, you know the one that Ana recommended. Jason Taylor called me with the appointment information. Anyway, I wanted to let you know that David was on the other line when I was talking with him. He heard Jason give me the information and…well….I am sorry to do this to you, but he is asking a lot of questions and I don't know what to tell him." My eyes slowly open and my heart races. I have no idea what the hell to tell him either. I have never met this boy before and suddenly I am supposed to have all the answers because his incompetent mother couldn't keep him busy while she was on a personal call.
"Maddy, what the hell do you want me to do? You kept him from me all this time and now you are calling me to kiss his boo boo because you don't know how to answer for your actions."
"I know what I did was wrong Gid-"
"Wrong! Wrong! No Madeline, what you did was not wrong! It is fucking unforgivable. You kept my son from me. You knew what I went through when my father died and you kept the one thing from me that could have made my life worth something," I shout into the phone.
"Gideon, stop right there. I know what I did was not my finest moment, but let's think back for a minute. You were fucking everything with legs. You ran off. You didn't want to be a father then. I don't know how we would have wound up, but something tells me that me being a single mother was in the cards for me either way, so don't you dare get all high and mighty on me Gideon Cross," she squeals into the phone.
I turn around to argue my point further when I see Ana and Charlie at the back door trying to be quiet. I put my fingers up and cover the receiver, "Madeline is on the phone."
Ana's eyes drop to Charlie and she half smiles at her. "Come on, sweetie. Daddy is on the phone. Let's put on your cartoons on in the living room."
Ana spins and moves out of the room with a pained expression on her face. "God damn it Madeline we will discuss this next week. I can't do this now."
"I did not call to argue with you Gideon. Like I said, David overheard and now he…he keeps asking to speak with you. I tried to tell him you were not available, but he said he wanted to talk to his dad," she pleads.
What the hell do I say to that? A warm feeling washed over me and my demeanor softens. "He wants to talk to his dad" is the only part of that sentence that matters. I want to know my son, but…but nothing; I want to know my son.
"Fine. Yes. I will speak with him. Put him on the phone," I concede.
"He wants to talk to you on FaceTime. He said he wanted to see what you look like in case he sees you walking down the street and wants to high five you," Madeline giggles.
"What?"
"David is a very…creative boy. He is funny, in his own way. He comes up with the strangest things to say. I will text you his email address. Please don't leave him waiting too long. He is already sitting in the kitchen waiting."
"Jesus, Maddy. You told him I would? Without asking me first?"
"No. I said I would ask. He said you couldn't say no to him."
Talk about a guilt trip. Damn.
"Fine. Send it to me," I huff, more nervous than annoyed.
"Thank you, Gideon. I app-"
"Madeline, I am not doing this for you. I am doing it because my son asked me to. Now hang up the damn phone and send me an email address." I push the button to end the call then throw my phone on the island. Ana is standing on the other side and she flinches when my fist pounds the granite top.
"You okay?" Ana queries as she moves closer to me.
"David wants me to FaceTime him. I agreed. The kid is sitting at his computer right now waiting to see me and I have no idea what the hell to do. What do I say to him?"
Ana wraps her arms around my waist and I hold her close to me while we sway together. I close my eyes and enjoy the feeling of her hands on my back, soothing me as I try not to freak out. I take a long deep breath and inhale the sweet scent of her hair before I slowly let it out, releasing some of the tension along the way.
"Better?"
"With you baby, it is always better," I answer before kissing the top of her head.
"Go talk to him. Don't keep him waiting. Just answer any questions he asks as honestly as possible and whatever you do, do not talk bad about his mother. That is not fair to him," Ana warns with her pointy index finger shaking in front of me.
"I know. I will try to keep my cool." I move closer to Ana and grab both sides of her face. "Thank you," I say as I kiss her on the nose.
"For what?"
"For just being you. For keeping me grounded. For always being my voice of reason. And especially for still being here after all the shit I put you through."
"It's what I do," she smiles and rubs my nose with hers before pecking her lips on the end of my nose.
Ana
As I am staring into oblivion, stirring an empty pot of hot water and waiting for it to boil, my phone vibrates in my pocket. As I pull it out I see Ros's name scrolled across the screen. During the time I was gone I didn't even take into consideration that Ros was still running the company.
"Hello," I barely whisper as I scrunch up my face. I can only imagine how angry she must be at me for just up and leaving without a trace for two months.
"Ana? Oh, thank goodness you are all right. I have been very worried about you. I got a call from Carrick saying you were back in town; he said something about a family emergency. I hope everything is alright?
"Ros. Yes. Sorry I left so expectantly. It really couldn't be avoided."
"I understand. But there are some pressing matters that I do need to discuss with you immediately. Since our last conversation, I have not taken on any new projects. I thought it would be in GEH's best interest to hold off until you find a replacement for me."
Shit. I hadn't thought about that either. I can't possibly run the business and I know Ros wants out as CEO. I don't know what to tell her. Before I left I made up my mind to sell. GEH is worth billions now. I could sell and still provide a more than comfortable life for us, all of us.
"Of course. I understand. We spoke briefly about selling the company before I left. I just want you to know that once that happens I will make sure you are given a very favorable severance package. I cannot thank you enough for what you did after Christian died, but I can't run the company and I am not comfortable leaving it in the hands of someone I don't trust to make it as best as it can be. So I think we should start the ball rolling and finding a buyer." I pace the floor as the words stumble out of my mouth. I know I am letting Christian down, but this is the way it has to be.
"Ana. I really wish you would reconsider. I don't think you are looking at this from all angles," Ros explains. I slump against the wall and rub my belly as I watch Charlie in the other room giggle at the television.
I know what she is saying. She wants me to let Gideon run the company, but for that to happen we will need to merge. That part scares me. What if his family comes back with a vengeance? What if he decides that this isn't the life he wants and runs off? Giving away years of Christian's blood, sweat, and tears would be devastating. Not to mention leaving me in the lurch financially.
"I am, Ros. I need this. Let me know what you need from me, and send any legal documents over to Carrick for review. We can talk more on Monday morning."
"If that is what you want Ana," Ros's clipped tone doesn't go unnoticed, but I don't call her out on it. "We'll speak on Monday. Sorry to have bothered you."
"You are not bot-" the line goes dead before I could finish my sentence. She is mad and she has every right to be. She has poured her life into GEH and I am selling it out from under her. I am not thrilled with the decision either, but it is what is best for everyone.
Gideon
With my hands steepled in front of me, I watch the screen of my laptop, frightened that the email address will somehow send itself before I am ready to talk to David. I have been Charlie's father since she was born and being a father to her has always come so effortlessly, but David is a nine-year-old boy. We have missed all the bonding time a father and son should have to build a relationship. A million doubts and reasons as to why this kid should hate me come to mind. I don't know if I could take it if my own son hated me.
"Only one way to find out Cross," I mutter to myself as I click the mouse and see the "Connecting" icon appear across the top.
I sit up taller and readjust myself as if I am preparing for a high-powered business meeting; except this time, I am completely out of my element. I clear my throat and take a swig of Scotch from the glass next to me, enjoying the burn as it slides down and warms my stomach.
Suddenly the ringing stops and a young man in a white button down shirt appears on my screen. David looks just like the picture Maddy showed me. He looks a lot like me when I was a kid. His dark hair has a reddish tint to it like Maddy's, but his blue eyes match mine perfectly.
"Mr. Cross?" David asks as he leans in close and studies my face. I turn my head from side to side as if him tracing the screen with his finger is moving me like a marionette. David's eyes widen then he slides back into his chair and begins to write something down on a notepad.
"Hi David. My name is Gideon." David holds up his left index finger as he continues to write with his right hand. My brows furrow and I cross my arms and lean back in my chair as this younger version of myself silences me.
"Annnnd done. Sorry, Mr. Cross. I had to write your face in my book in case I forget it."
"Please call me Gideon, or…" I leave the statement open and David clicks a few buttons on his laptop before looking back at the camera on the screen.
"Ok Gideon. Where were you?"
"Excuse me?" My brow furrows in confusion. I cock my head to the side and think about what to say next.
"You know. Why haven't you been my dad? You look like me, you know that, or rather, I look like you. Well of course I look like you. You came first. It was your sperm that fertilized my mother's egg and began the process. Then all of the cells started dividing and I turned into an embryo. Do you know what that is?" David babbles on as if I am no longer there before his question brings his eyes back to the screen.
"I…uh…well, yeah…uh."
"Good. Before you knew it I was traveling down her fallopian tube and attaching myself to the wall of her uterus. I have a video all about it if you want to see," he says very seriously as he settles back in his chair.
The look of shock and amazement crosses my face in a flash. This is not the conversation I envisioned when Madeline asked me to speak with him. I don't even know how to respond to that.
"That won't be necessary. I know how babies are made."
"Of course. You probably know a lot of stuff because you are old and old people know things," David states.
"What were you writing in your journal?" I query in an attempt to divert the conversation from the human reproductive system.
"I like to remember people. This is my book of people. I write everything I know about them so if they ever go away I can remember what they are like. I never forget a face. It is a hobby of mine."
"I see. What did you write about me?"
"I can't tell you. This is my book. No one looks at my book." He grabs the book from the table and holds it close to his chest as if it is his only possession in the world.
I hold my hands up to placate him, "Ok. A guy is allowed to have his secrets."
"So?" He states with a slight nod of his head.
"So what?"
"So, where have you been? Are you a spy? Do you work for a secret government agency where you have to stay in places undercover for years?" David's eyes dance with excitement as his mind runs wild. I can see from his excited expression that he is a very creative boy.
"You have a very active imagination, David."
"I know. That is why I get in trouble at school all the time. None of the other kids like me very much. They call me weird, but I don't' care. So. Where were you?" As soon as David tells me the other kids call him weird, a pang of anger swells inside me.
"That's complicated, David." I state firmly. "Your mother told me that you overheard a conversation she had with a friend of mine. Is that right?"
"Yup. Guy with the deep voice. Talks like a robot," David mocks as he enunciates every syllable in his best robot voice.
"Yes. My friend, Jason," I chuckle. "What is it that you heard?"
"He said I have to go see a guy and we would all talk about what happened. But I have no idea what happened. So I don't know why I have to talk about something I know nothing about. I don't know what I am supposed to say. I was going to look up topics of conversation, but there are many of those on the internet, so I thought I would ask you what happened. So I can research my answers, ya know."
"What?"
"Exactly."
This kid has my mind whirling in ten different directions. I don't think I am going to be able to bullshit him with some random answer about how sometimes mommies and daddies don't get along. I am going to have to struggle through the truth the best I can without giving too much away. John would know the right way to talk to David about our separation. There is no way I am going to be able to dance around the subject until then; not with David interrogating me.
Where the hell is Ana? She would know what to do. I am a bit out of my league here.
"David. We are going to see my friend John so we can discuss how you feel about me not being around until now." I struggle through my thoughts as he absorbs everything I am saying.
"Oh, is that all? Why can't you just tell me?" He waves his hand across the screen and refocuses his attention back to his notebook.
"It is complicated, David. I guess I don't know what to say."
"Just tell me where you have been. Easy."
"Uhhh…it is not that easy. You see…is your mom around by any chance?"
"Yeah, hold on. MOMMMMMMMMMMM!" He screams while looking up at the ceiling."
I can hear Madeline's panicked voice asking David what's wrong, but I cannot see her.
"Nothing is wrong. Gideon wants you."
"David, you scared the life out of me. What have I told you about yelling?"
"Use my inside voice when I am inside. It is rude to yell for someone. If I want you, I am to come get you and not scream," he drones on as if he has to recite this speech often. I smile at the pouting boy in front of me.
"That's right." Madeline turns the laptop and I see her face pop up on the screen. "What is it Gideon?"
"Ummm. I…I just thought you should be here for this conversation. David wants to know where I have been." My brows shoot up to my hairline in a silent, what the hell am I supposed to say, look.
"Oh. Well, David. That is complicated, like I told you. We are going to talk with Gideon's friend about that. I think-"
David cuts Madeline off and pulls the screen back to look at me. "No. It is not complicated. Just tell me where you have been. Did you not want to me my dad? Did I do something wrong? If you didn't have to stay away because you were a spy, then I want to know why you never wanted to see me before now!"
"NO! David of course you didn't do anything wrong! If I knew you were my son, I would have been there. I would have been your dad. I would never have stayed away from you," I blurt out without thinking.
David shrinks back into his chair and turns toward Madeline then back to me. "You didn't know about me?"
"David I…I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry," I apologize to not only David, but Madeline too. Her head is hung low while David's confused glare shoots daggers into the top of her head.
Madeline lifts her head and wipes at her eyes, "No. Gideon, you have nothing to be sorry for. It is me who should be sorry." Her eyes refocus on David, who is holding his book so tight his knuckles are white. "David, I didn't tell Gideon he was your father. It is my fault that he wasn't around. I thought I was doing what was best for you, but I was wrong. I'm sorry, honey. Sometimes mommies make mistakes too."
David blinks back a few tears as Madeline wipes them away and pulls him into her arms. His head rests on her shoulder as he looks back at me through the screen. I feel like a voyeur watching an intimate moment I shouldn't be seeing. I don't know what to do. His glassy blue eyes are piercing my heart through my computer monitor as I struggle to find the next thing to say.
"David, there are a lot of things we have to discuss, but I want you to know that I would like to get to know you, if you want to know me," I silently pray that he wants to know me.
Madeline pulls back and gives me a tight smile and a small nod. "I am going to go upstairs and get your stuff ready for school tomorrow. Why don't you and Gideon keep chatting?" she kisses the top of the boy's head and glances at me before disappearing behind the monitor.
David watches Madeline as she exits the kitchen, and then rests his chin on his palms as he obviously struggles for the next thing to say. "Got any other kids you don't know about? Being an only child sucks. But I guess if you don't know about them you can't answer me. Is it weird that there may be more kids like me running around? You could be like that guy in that movie who had over five hundred kids. Do you donate sperm-" David goes on.
"David. Whoa…whoa…whoa." I hold my hands up to stop him talking. "I think you are it, but I am about to have another baby soon. My-girlfriend is pregnant." I make a mental note to talk with Ana out social status. She has told me that she wants to work things out, but I should probably find out if that includes marriage.
"Really?! How many months along is she? You know, babies need a lot of vitamins to grow properly in the first few months. When is she due?"
David goes on and on about all his knowledge about babies. I sit and listen, answering his questions when he pauses, which isn't often. As he continues, I find myself watching his animated personality. I think to myself that if my life had been different, more normal, would I have been like David. Would I be an inquisitive young boy with a lifetime of hope ahead of me instead of a world of pain and heartache?
After about an hour of him rambling about everything he knows in life, Madeline appears behind him and places her hands gently on David's shoulders. "Buddy, it is time for a shower and bed. You can talk to Gideon later."
"Alright," David breathes. "Gideon can I call you again?"
"Yes, David. You can call me anytime." I smile at the boy and his exact smile shines back at me.
"Can you come to my baseball game tomorrow?" He asks with hope in his eyes.
"Um, David, why don't we just stick to phone calls for now." Madeline interjects.
"NO! I would love to go. Madeline, send me the information." I demand. I have missed so much, I'll be damned if I miss any more.
"Gideon, are you sure?"
"Yes. I am positive. Send me the info." I insist further.
"Okay. I will send it. David, say goodnight to your-to Gideon." Madeline stops herself before she says the word, father. I cringe when she calls me Gideon. I know this is going to take time and this boy doesn't know me from a stranger, but deep down inside I want him to call me his father. I want him to be part of my family. He is a part of me and I want to celebrate that, not hide it any longer. I will go slow and do as John instructs, but David is my kid and I won't shy away from that now that I know him.
"Bye Gideon. It was nice meeting you." David says as he gathers his notebook and jumps excitedly out of the room.
Madeline watches above the monitor until I assume David is out voice range, then looks back down to me. "Gideon, I am sorry. I didn't know he was going to ask you that. You don't have to come. I will tell him you got tied up or something."
"The hell you will," I lean in so my face is closer to the monitor. "Madeline, I have lost 10 years of that boy's life and if he wants me there, I am damn sure going to be there. If you don't like that, then we are going to have a problem. I will do the therapy. I will do what is best for David, but he WILL know me. I will be around. I expect you to send me not only the info for tomorrow's game, but a schedule of all his activities. I want to be there for it all. I expect your full cooperation."
"Of course Gideon." Madeline hangs her head and fiddles with the oversized button on her sweater.
"Goodnight."
I don't wait for a reply. I click the end button on my screen and lean back in my chair before downing another two fingers of Scotch. I rub my thumb and forefinger across my lip while my mind whirls in circles as I think about my conversation with David. I expected him to need time to warm up to me, but he doesn't seem to need it or want it.
A knock at the door pulls me from my thoughts. I see the silhouette of my beloved peeking trough the office door, the light from the foyer illuminating her like an angel against the dim glow in my office.
"Can I come in?" She whispers.
"Of course, baby. I'm done. Come in, please." I push my chair back some, so she knows I want her to sit on my lap. She smiles and gently lowers herself down and against my chest. I sniff her warm vanilla scent and wrap my arms around her shoulders before placing a small kiss on her forehead. "Ummmm. I missed you."
"Did you now? Well, Mr. Cross, Charlie has been fed, bathed, and put to bed. It appears that you and I are all alone for the evening. Whatever shall we do?" My temptress coos as her hand fiddles with the collar of my shirt.
Her fingernail grazes the sensitive part of my neck and it sends shivers down my spine. "What did you have in mind Ms. Steele?"
My nose runs the length of her jaw. Fresh goosebumps pop up on her arms and legs as my tongue darts out and licks the sensitive flesh behind her ear. I lick the shell of her ear and blow and gentle stream of air along the same path. Ana grinds her ass into my lap. "I haven't been inside you in months. I need to feel you around me baby, but I want you in my bed."
In one motion, I grip Ana behind the knees and wrap my other arm around her back. She throws her willowy arms around my neck and smiles against my cheek before nipping my jaw. I can feel myself stiffening behind my zipper with every step I take. I contemplate for a moment just setting her on the steps and having my way with her, but I really want to do this right. We have a lot of making up to do. Our sex life was pretty full before she left for Texas. She is a natural in the sack.
I kick our bedroom door closed and gently place her on the bed. As I hover over the pale beauty beneath me and kiss her moist lips, she fiddles with the hem of my shirt. My large palms skim up Ana's thighs until I find the thin lacy material that covers my most prized possession. In one tug, her panties fall away so my mouth can replace them. I waste no time. Kissing Ana everywhere, I work my mouth south of her bellybutton before spreading her womanhood open and plunging my tongue deep within the depths of luscious cavern. My fingers hold open her bloom, while I suck and lap at her. I feel her tense around my tongue just before the rush of warm nectar fills my mouth. My hands leave her for a moment, only to find their way up to her breasts where I work her oversensitive nipples as I continue to fuck her with my tongue. Ana's slightly bulging belly doesn't allow me to see her face, but I know she is glowing and beautiful as she comes undone beneath me.
I drag my face up her body then lick her essence from her skin. Her skirt that is hiked up high on her waist is pulled down. Ana lifts her shirt over her head. The dainty clip between her breasts is unclasped between my teeth. It springs open like a jack in the box who hit his last note. I grin against her smooth skin and lift her ass up off the bed so I can easily enter her when she glides her thighs up around my hips.
It is like we are meant to fit together. As if my body was designed with hers in mind. My length fills her completely as she moans into the silent room. My grunts increase as she bucks her hips back against mine. I don't want to put too much weight on her and she must understand because she grips my hair and climbs my body like a feral animal who needs more.
Ana
Gideon is just the right about of passionate and tender. My hormones are all over the place. I originally wanted our reconnection to be sweet love making, but the moment he entered me it was like he broke open a damn of hormones. I need him to be as deep inside of me as he can get. I need to feel him all over me as I explode into a million pieces. It has been too long without him. Too many nights of us separated.
"Gideon, faster. I need you. God. Please, faster," I yell as he slams into me relentlessly.
"Ana, I need you to, but I don't want to hurt you." I can tell he is holding back. I can see the concentration written all over his face as he tries to give it to me as gently as he can.
I twist my body beneath him. As soon as his cock leaves me, he groans in frustration. Climbing onto his knees, he grips my hips and enters me slowly from the tip, to root, and out again. "Gideon, please."
Just as he picks up the pace, I reach between my legs and rub the tender nub between my folds. I feel Gideon thick and hard inside me. My insides grip him from the inside and pull him in. Our synchronized grunts and moans are replaced by screams of ecstasy. My blood surges and my body shakes as this godly man deprives me of my breath before I chant his name over and over again. Gideon trusts one final time before stiffening, holding my ass tight against his body. My hands, that were gripping the blanket beneath me, relax and my body falls onto to soft, comfy bed.
Gideon rolls away onto his back and I snuggle up against him while we both huff like we just ran a marathon. "Thank you, baby. I missed that."
"I missed that, too. If these pregnancy hormones have anything to say about it, we are going to have a lot more moments like that over the next seven months," I giggle.
"I sure hope so," Gideon's hand travels over my swollen belly and down between my legs, where her drags the musky concoction of us both along his index finger. He raises his hand and lowers it to my swollen lips, tracing my mouth over and over as if he is applying some sort of lipgloss. "We make all things beautiful together, Sweetheart."
I open my mouth to accept his drenched finger, but Charlie's voice stuns me to silence.
"Mommy, I heard a noise." My groggy daughter says as she rubs her sleepy eyes trying to focus them in the sharp contrast of the illuminated room.
I quickly grab my robe from the end of the bed and slide it on as Gideon covers himself with the bedding. "Daddy was just tickling mommy, sweetie. Let me take you back to bed."
Gideon chuckles and mumbles, "I'll show you tickling," just as I exit the room.
Charlie halts in her tracks and turns back, bolting into my room. "Daddy, daddy, can I sleep with you tonight?" The bouncy two year old hops on the bed and jumps directly on Gideon's stomach. He probably would have stopped her if he didn't have his hands laced behind his head on the pillow basking in his post sexual bliss.
"Umf…easy, bug. You'll hurt your old man." Gideon sits up straighter and tosses Charlie off of him before tickling her feet. "Sure thing. You go get your doll and you can sleep with us tonight."
"Yay!" Charlie hops off of our bed and skips down the hall to her room. I watch Gideon's naked ass pad to the bathroom, I follow him in. As he cleans himself up in the sink, I smile in the doorway. I hear Charlie return and make herself comfortable on our overly large bed.
Gideon flips off the bathroom light and brushes the hair off my shoulder before whispering in my ear, "We are never going to fuck in peace again, are we?" He places a small kiss behind my ear and jumps on the bed next to Charlie.
I watch them for a few moments as they joke and talk about some cartoon before settling in. I think about the parts of the phone call I listened to when Gideon was talking to David. I also go over the phone call I had made to Carrick before I entered Gideon's office. I know more than ever that I am doing the right thing for us. For all of us. I need to protect my family and make sure Charlie and this baby have the best life possible. I don't want to have Gideon's opinion on the matter sway what I know is right. For now, everything will move quickly. I want to get this whole matter square before the baby comes. I want the next chapter of our life to begin on that day.
I just hope Gideon will understand and not hate me for what I am about to do.