Admiral: What the heck?
Mimi: Ad, what's wrong?
Admiral: What's wrong?! It's been ages since the last chapter was posted! I thought "you know who" was supposed to take care of that!
Mimi: About that, well…
· A Short Time Later
Zero:…
Admiral: Zero, read it.
0: *looks up briefly before lowering his head again* I refuse.
Mimi: Come on Zero, surely you felt happy at the end of that last story.
0: No. I cannot feel joy. The only positive emotion I can feel is content and only once have I felt content with getting it yanked from me…
Mimi: Really? *0_0*
0: I was scouring the universe… I met this odd creature… His name was 'The King of Sorrow'… we had a… tea party. I had met someone I could finally relate to…
Admiral: wow… will you read the story now?
0: ! *Zero stands up. While he does this, the air above him pulsates reveals and he is connected to green, spiky thorns attached to a giant white sphere with a single, blood red eye*No. No I will not continue to read propaganda, especially not propaganda about my arch-nemesis!
Admiral: *unimpressed with the Dark Matter now swirling around the room* fine. We'll just get someone to replace you.
0:*sighs* Where will you find someone so stupid-
Nightmare: *Shows up* …What jussssssst happened?!
Mimi: *Exchanges looks with her hatted companion* You'rejustintime-herereadthis,byebyeZero! *She and Admiral stick their tongues out at Zero as they vanish in a cloud of smoke*
Nightmare: Zero?... ! Zero! *Points with a rather hooked and pointy finger* What are you doing he-
0: *Exasperated* Just shut up and read! *creates a throne for Nightmare out of Dark Matter*
Nightmare: *Shrugs and does so*
For maximum enjoyment, picture an intro in the style of Aqua Something you know Whatever.
Kirby: the Super Star Wars:
Part 2:
Bonfire of the Birdees
Our story of love, adventure and musical tomfoolery begins one simple morning in Dreamland, where Kirby, and his life hating friend Parasol where simply chilling in front of a small tree, when suddenly-
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH
By the time the thing had passed, the flowers were stunned, the sun grabbed its shotgun, a few of the summits of the hills in the background were sliced neatly off their bases and an apple conveniently fell on Kirby's head.
"My goodness," Kirby said looking at the surrounding damage, "A really fierce wind must have blown through. What do you make of it Parasol… Parasol?" Parasol was laying some yards away with a giant leech on his body. He slowly but surely panicked less and less until his body went limp.
Meanwhile
The citizens of Dreamland were caught in a gigantic panic as all the crops were destroyed by a giant Ho-oh. The country council came together to discuss a tactic that could give them an edge over the giant bird. Many elected to force one of the nearby planets to manufacture something called a Master Ball. Others wanted to shoot the bird out of the sky in order to hold a grand thanksgiving dinner, but could not, for Winter had just passed and eating turkey out of season was as huge a sin as ticket sharing, so that was out. Finally, someone had a brilliant idea of blaming King Dedede and suing him for everything, causing all the citizens to jump on the bandwagon.
"Why is everyone trying tah sue me?!" King Dedede demanded as the waddle dees that worked under him slaved to close the door, while simultaneously acting as a makeshift throne. "Do they have any idea how hard life is for me? I can barely remember mah birth like it was yesterday…"
Eagles…
Condors…
And Penguins…
These were the ingredients chosen to make the perfect little bird.
But Masahiro Sakurai accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction:
Lard
(BBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMM!)
And thus King Dedede was born!
Using his ultra super mallet, He dedicated his life to eating food
And ruling a Kingdom!
(Cue a montage of Dedede eating food and getting possessed.)
Kirby and Parasol, having walked through Peanut Plains (which I'm skipping because I don't care for that level) looked at the crowd surrounding King Dedede's castle threatening to summon the army of lawyers via sacrifice. Kirby then turned to Parasol and said four simple words.
"We have to help him."
Parasol, however, looked completely flabbergasted. He then shouted at Kirby about everything they had to do when King Dedede stole all the food in Dreamland. Kirby simply shrugged and said, "I can't hold grudges." And so the two of them climbed onto a station wagon in the area (But ran into trouble when Parasol was killed as a sacrifice for the lawyers) and Kirby proceeded to give a rousing speech. About what, I don't know, but it put everything else into perspective, caused even the manliest citizen to shed a tear, and the crowd dispersed, having learned something today.
Kirby shook hands with Dedede, continuously telling the penguin "king" not to mention it or how he, had the reverse been true, may very well had done the same. Had Parasol been alive at that moment, he probably would have refuted this point of view, but alas, he wasn't.
One explanation of the situation later…
"So let me get this straight," King Dedede said, "You two so are convinced that you can take on that Ho-Ho that you're going to march right up to its nest and beat it up?" Kirby nodded stupidly while making the sweetest face he could. Seriously, whenever Kirby made a face like the one he did here, the rate of diabetes in citizens skyrocketed and, with one thing leading to another, spelled doom for local health care plans that covered diabetes. To this day, many average workers curse the name of the pink abomination that did this amidst all the paperwork and anger sex. "Well, don't worry boy! I'll help ya!"
"Really?"
"Nope! I'm off to some castle in Iceberg that I have no recollection of building! See ya!"
And with those words, King Dedede changed into an even more Pimpish outfit, pushed a button on his hammer which turned it into a cane, snapped his fingers, and walked towards a limo with the two 'Mrs. Dededes'. After that, the two watched as Dedede's three mile long limousine rode off into the sunset.
Kirby and Parasol thus, started out on the path for Candy Mountain. It will probably be a vicious journey wrought with peril, danger, and massive collateral damage. But if they can beat up a fat penguin in the span of three chapters, then, dang it they can do anything!
And, with that, Kirby and Parasol return to adventure once more…