Holy Burning Chocobo on a rotisserie wheel Batman! It's an update?!
I'm sorry for not having worked on any of my stories for a long time but exams + procrastination does not equal progress.
News for my stories is also not looking good. I've grown dissatisfied with Adventure Mode (…again) and I feel like rebooting it because I feel that it can be written better (and made even less complicated.)
Likewise, as you can guess, my stories may enter Valve Time/Duke Nukem Forever time.
Last but not least be sure to look at the poll on my profile and vote for whether I should be working on Adventure Mode Chapter 5 and or Reboot, The Super Star Wars or Bowser's Modern Life.
Until then, enjoy your conclusion.
Bonfire of the Birdees
The Riveting Conclusion!
The skies of Candy Mountain were alight with shiny shooting beams as the two super saiyans continued to fight. Yes, it seems that now we will finally know the end result of this climatic battle between…Vegeta and Raditz. How and why are they fighting? Maybe it has something to do with the Dragon Balls. Maybe this is one of the video games. Maybe this is telling us that the author is about to make an assuredly horribly inaccurate reference to a show he hasn't seen in years and cause all of the fans to come out of the woodwork and berate him. And speaking of which, a few miles away, Kirby and Iron Mam were currently playing Rock-Paper-Scissors. Not once did Kirby think to pick something other than rock, regardless of having no limbs.
"Blast! I am losing this ultimate battle of Life and Death" Kirby said as his mouth moved out of sync with his words. I must remember the teachings of my master!"
Flashback
We are shown the view of a temple. The temple, looking slightly like a vault, didn't really look like a temple. In fact, it looked like an extremely stereotypical of either a Japanese or Chinese dojo. Kirby is seen knelling in front of a boy. The boy had brown hair and wore red and yellow clothing which…actually made him slightly resemble Dr. Eggman. Oh my gosh, my mind is blown right now.
"Kirby," He began, his mouth also moving out of sync for some reason. "You are free to go. I have taught you all I can about Jan-Ken-Pon."
"Master, is there any thing that you want me to do like, say, punch Mario or Sonic in the face."
Alex Kidd shook his head. "No, I have long since patched that wound long ago."
"Would it help?"
"Yes, yes it would."
Kirby suddenly realized that that flashback did not help him at all. "Fine, I must go into my ultimate form!" Kirby then did one twirl. Two. Three. BLAMMMO! Kirby transformed; He was buffer, slightly taller and had a rainbow of colored flashing hair. "Haha! I have finally moved up! Now Kakorat, face the wrath of Super Duper Saiyan Kirby!"
"OH YEAH?!" Mam also did three twirls along with a split, turning her armor rainbow as well as giving her super spiky hair. I'm serious about forty five percent of anime heroes just went to the corner out of shame at failing to match the goofiness of Mam's hair. "I AM NOW SUPER DUPER SCOOPER SAIYAN!"
Kirby, undaunted raised his level again "I am now Super Duper Pooper Scooper Saiyan!"
*Swop* "SUPER DUPER POOPER BOOPER SCOOPER HOOPER SAIYAN"
Kirby looked shocked and offended at the subsequent power upping.
"Hey, that's not fair! You can only go up one level at a time!"
"WHO SAYS?!"
And thus, it devolved into a slap fight. The greatest slap fight ever to grace Japanese animation.
As Kirby was having the most climatic battle in Anime history, Parasol climbed slowly up the mountain, still trying to gain his own legendary Ho-Oh.
"No I'm not! I'm trying to stop the Dynablade before it destroys more of the crops!"
Sure you are.
"Grr…"
Either way, he was quickly attacked by four evil baddies!
"Prepare for trouble and it'll be sweet!"
"Make it double and really neat!"
"To protect these citizens from devouration!"
"To stop that puffball…"
"…And his complications"
"To denounce the evils of Kirby and his friends."
"To make golly gee they won't reach the end!"
"Bonkers!"
"Mr. Flosty
"Chef Kawasaki!"
"…"
"Team Miniboss comes into sight!"
"Surrender now or see the light!"
"Poppy Bros Sr…"
"…That's Right!"
Parasol stood stock still as he looked at the minibosses. "Er… Do I know you guys?"
Bonkers stood forward, puffing out his chest and swinging his hammer around. He got a steely look in his eye
"You and that pink golf ball are going to pay for running me over in the castle from earlier!"
"…Sorry, I don't remember you."
"What?!"
" I don't remember any of you. In fact," Parasol pointed to Kawasaki and the Poppy Bros. "I don't think either of you even appeared in this fanfiction yet.
The minibosses looked depressed.
"Aw, shucks." Mr Flosty "oh well then, we'll be off. Sorry to dis-"
Suddenly all of them were killed when Mam hit them like a missile.
"Take that you she-demon!
At last, Kirby and Parasol reached the top of the mountain, Kirby's warpstar ready to take them to the lair of the Dyna Blade. The bird's nest was not visible to the naked eye, but the giant neon signs and the free tourist brochure offered at the summit both claimed to know the location.
"Alright Waddle Dee, did you remember to bring everything?"
The enemy type, not realizing the importance of this question, nodded.
"Good! Now, if there will be no more interruptions…" Kirby and Parasol leapt onto the warp star. The mysteriously powered craft flew high in the air, taking its occupants to the summit of Candy Mountain.
"Let's go catch us a Ho-Oh!"
Ho-Oh- er Dynablade's Nest,
Candy Summit
The Warp Star crashed horribly, depositing its cargo on the floor. The air was still, holding its breath for the inevitable crash or awakening to reality. Silence dominated the unwilling mood, excitement building up to the grand finale. Tension hung on the mountain in the same way weights do. All waiting…
Oh no.
It's her!
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
…
A wild HO-OH appeared!
The rainbow bird zoomed into the foreground using her amazing Mode 7 powers and landed in front of the puffballs(?).
"Okay, Parasol, send out Squirtle!"
"Um… we don't have a squirtle."
Kirby gave Waddle Dee the "sassy What?" look.
"I thought I asked you before we came here if we had everything we need?!"
"I didn't realize we apparently needed Pokémon."
Kirby looked annoyed, but sighed.
"Okay, we'll just have to fight it ourselves. You first."
"Wait,wha-"
What will PARASOL do?
FIGHT ITEM
POKEYMENZ RUN
"Kirby, what do I do?!"
"Choose an option."
"um, fight?"
UMBRELLA TWIRL DEFENSIVE CURL
SPLASH FAINT ATTACK
"Why do I have only two attack moves?"
"Just pick one!"
…
PARASOL used Umbrella Twirl!
Waddle Dee found himself jumping into the air and striking the Ho-Oh in the bird face with his signature item. The bird glared with the intensity of five frowny faces.
It's not very effective…
HO-OH used Sacred Fire!
The Ho-Oh started snarting and snorting. Before Waddle Dee could question what a "sacred fire" was, he was suddenly attacked by flaming loogies.
PARASOL got a burn!
PARASOL was injured by its burn!
'Parasol, tag me in!"
"Gladly! Pokémon, please.
One shift later
What will KIRBY do?
FIGHT ITEM
POKERMANZ RUN
INHALE HAMMER
FINAL CUTTER ROOK
…
KIRBY used Final Cutter!
Kirby took out his cutter blade and started swatting Ho-Oh with it. The rainbow bird Pokémon chuckled at its ineffectiveness… Until Kirby swatted it in the eye.
Enraged, the pretty bird flew up into the sky.
HO-OH soared!
"Kirby!" Parasol called out about to state the obvious. "The Dynablade's using it's Mode 7 powers!"
HO-OH used Fly!
Sure enough, the Ridley ripoff flew into the foreground, ignoring the universes silly "2dimensional" rule. Kirby was sufficiently harmed by the Super Paper Mario move, but refused to give.
FIGHT ITEM
POKERMANZ RUN
INHALE HAMMER
FINAL CUTTER ROOK
Instead, the battered puffball took out a hammer and smacked Ho-Oh in the beak with it. This move not only dropped the Pokémon's health to the yellow but also stunned it!
HO-OH flinched!
"We have a shot!" our heroes cheered, as the anime rendition of the Hoenn Elite Four started blaring triumphantly
KIRBY used Final Cutter!
Kirby charged at the Ho-Oh with the cutter blade yet again. Unfortunately the bird was wise to his tactics and retaliated with talons. Kirby rolled sideways around the first swipe, under the second swipe and wound up in a blade lock with Ho-Oh. It grinned maliciously at the foolish challenger.
"Hey Featherface!"
Parasol charged the beast and, with a swipe of his umbrella, separated the dueling challengers. He then attacked the Dyna Blade, which blocked with its talons.
…leaving it open for a strike from Kirby.
HO-OH used Ariel Ace!
Upset at this turn of events, the Dyna Blade once again took to the skies. This time, instead of going Super Paper Mario on the pests, it opted to land on the instead. Thankfully, this attack was easily telegraphed, interpreted and rewritten by Kirby and Parasol who fled in time.
KIRBY avoided the attack!
KIRBY used Inhale.
The Dyna Blade's little temper tantrum kicked up many stars. Kirby noticed them and looked at Waddle Dee with sly understanding. The look was returned as Waddle Dee distracted the Dyna Blade whilst Kirby gobbled the stars.
KIRBY is inhaling star power!
Dyna Blade looked out of the corner of its eye and its maw fell open in horror as it saw Kirby, mouth full and glaring. Out of desperation, Dyna Blade glided slightly up. This time however, it grabbed Parasol.
"Hey, what are-"
HO-OH used Brave Bird!
Dyna Blade threw the stunned Parasol in hopes of dislodging to stars in Kirby's mouth. And dislodge them it did.
They were dislodged right into Dyna Blade's face.
The bird stumbled, unsure of how much more abuse it could take.
"That Pokémon is on the verge of collapsing!" The announcer said in shock."
Kirby ran forward with a spherical and black/whitish object in his hands.
"Ultra Ball GO!"
Kirby threw the Pokéball and watched as the Dynablade disappeared into the ball in a red light, silently shedding a tear as it did so.
One shake.
Two.
Three…
Aw Yeah! HO-OH was caught!
HO-OH's data has been added to the Pokédex!
Would you like to nickname HO-OH?
Kirby and Waddle Dee stood there, at first stunned by the revelation, soon jumped into the air in celebration.
"Kirby, we did it! We saved Dream Land's crops!"
"Yay! I caught a Ho-Oh!"
They danced a dance of victory. They danced in a way that showed that they were the champions, friends! And they will keep fighting towards-
*Chirp Chirp*
-eh?
"Waddle Dee?"
"Yes?"
"Do you hear chirping?"
The Dynamic duo walked a little to the right of the battleground and spied a nest. Inside the nest lay three yellow chicklets chirping loudly to get the attention of their mommy, whose corpse was currently stuffed inside a tiny ball. Waddle Dee turned to Kirby and saw that they both had exceedingly guilty looks on their faces.
"Waddle Dee? Did it ever occur to you that…"
"…The monster was a mommy?"
Kirby and Parasol were silent at the thought that they just murdered a poor, defenseless bird, leaving its babies to die. Kirby got a happy smile on his face.
"Don't worry Parasol, we can raise them ourselves! After all, I believe in magic! Right Smash Bros. cast?" Suddenly, every character that has ever been in Smash Bros (plus Meowth for some reason) suddenly came out of nowhere.
"Right Kirby!" They all said.
Parasol was speechless.
"…You're joking right? Seriously, are you?!"
Super happy musical number set to "Do You Believe in Magic" by "The Lovein' Spoonful" as montage starts up where:
-Kirby and Parasol take the birds to Coo, who offers them a temporary home.
-Kirby feeds the birds with apples from Whispy Woods. (Whispy tried to plead with Kirby but he was ignored.)
-Kirby and Waddle Dee sent the birds to Mario who teaches them Typing and Letters.
-The birds attack Mario when they see how soul-crushingly dull it all is.
-And finally, how Kirby, whilst taking the birds out for a flight, was found by the giant Ho-Oh who nodded and took her younglings back.
Everyone stared out at the birds shrinking into the distance.
"And to think," Kirby started, "Ho-Oh did all this because it wanted to feed its young."
Ridley came out of nowhere, destroyed several of Dream Land's crops, and abducted Parasol before twiddling his handlebar mustache and disappearing into the sunset.
"So… Ho-Oh was innocent after all…" King Dedede (still with the two 'Mrs. Dededes) and several villagers noticed.
"Ridley…" Samus muttered under her breath.
Everyone continued dancing.
To Be Continued…. No not Bonfire itself. But,
The Super Star Wars!
No, I am not giving up on the Super Star Wars nor do I feel like I need to rewrite it. That I can (99%) guarantee. So next time: A cave that, whilst great, is not at all offensive is explored by Kirby in the, not Star Wars titled, Indiana Kirby and the Kingdom of the Golden…Triangle. Thingy.
(Oh my Nightmare I wrote a halfway decent fight scene!)