It was three weeks before L'Arachel saw Eirika again.
She threw herself fiercely into classes, attending them and doing her best to receive top marks, even though her competition was her own self. Even in their joint classes, where Eirika had, of course, disappeared from, she threw herself into the actions. Her tutors took notice eagerly, pushing her harder. She relished it: it helped to burn out the growing anger she felt towards the Queen.
L'Arachel as much as she could at every meal, too, as there was no one but her maids to share it with. Now, she could loose her Raustenese reserve, dining openly with her maids and allowing her femininity to slip between large, messy bites of greasy mutton and uncrossed legs beneath the table. Although it had not been a show before, now she could truly relax: after all, Eirika seemed to avoid her like a plague.
It was until the end of the month, weeks after her initial arrival, that Eirika and her crossed paths.
L'Arachel had just been left out of lessons early. Her final tutor, a honey colored woman from the nomadic kingdom of Nonga, located on the super continent of Mubia and a revered resident in Eirika's court, had excused her from the etiquette lesson, due to Eirika's continued absence. It seemed that both L'Arachel and her tutor, Madame Razeen Kamara, were of a similar school: rather, their irritation of Eirika connected them. In fact, Madame Kamara's rage had been so fierce that her head scarf, made of shiny silk in a bright, green that rivals L'Arachel's hair, had nearly been displaced to the ground, so frazzled was she. She'd left in a huff, leaving L'Arachel feeling a bit empty for the remainder of the day.
Now, L'Arachel meandered slowly down the halls back towards the living wing. She hoped to chance upon a maid for company: after all, her supposed wife-to-be was completely missing from conversation.
Clack, clack.
L'Arachel looked up, train of thought lost. A figure was moving quickly at her, bright blue hair pulled up into a large, messy bun, gaze hazy.
"Eirika!" L'Arachel called. Eirika rushed past, and L'Arachel gasped, turning quickly to catch up. "Where have you been?"
Eirika's face was tight, drawn with ambivalence. "Busy." She continued on. L'Arachel quickly padded after her, hitching up her skirts to simply ample after her.
L'Arachel bit back a smart remark. "What with? I've… missed you in our tutoring sessions. Madame Kamara has-"
"Yes, I know I've been gone. I had other things to attend to," Eirika curtly answered.
"Look, Eirika, if this is still about-"
Eirika jerked to a stop and turned towards L'Arachel. Gone was the haze in her vision: her eyes were sharp as a hawk's. "Look, it's not about that. I was busy: you are of no concern to me right now."
L'Arachel felt her stomach drop. "Eirika, it's fine if it is. I didn't mean to make you mad that night, I just… I'm not ready."
Eirika sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Look, I… I must go. My brother needs me right now." Eirika turned on her heels, quickly making her way to the end of the hall.
"But… Eirika!"
Eirika simply waved.
Once more, L'Arachel dinned with her maids.
"Dianah, I simply don't understand," she said around mouthfuls of salt pork rolls. She gulped hard, quickly snatching up her goblet and taking a long drink. "I mean, I…. What am I to do?"
Dianah sighed, toying with a thick, blonde ringlet as she chewed on her lips. "I think, Madame, that there may be little you can do. It seems the Queen is resolute to remain angry for a time."
"I disagree," another voice chimed: Li'ryu, a fairly new addition to L'Arachels retinue of maids. "Eirika is most likely feeling slighted, but more so than that, is feeling confused. Yet that is no excuse for treating out fair lady like she was in the wrong. So Milady did not desire sexual contact? Then that is that."
Rima nodded her silent assent, methodically chewing her food.
"I think that's only fair," added Esmea, a Jehannese youth. "Queen probably feels frozen out, y'know. I would too though." Her peach colored curls bobbed eagerly as she nodded.
"Well, that ain't fair!" Azzali cried, anger evident. She slammed her cocoa palms on the table top, bright amber eyes flaring. "That's no reason to treat our lady like a… like a common woman! She may be Queen, but she is behaving like a right proper trollop and I-"
Crash!
L'Arachel's goblet clattered to the floor, and her dress was sullied, wine and food splattered across it. "You will not talk about Eirika in that manner, Azzali. Go back to your quarters. We shall talk later." She exhaled, a sharp puff through her nose. "The rest of you, you are dismissed for the evening."
Azzali's eyes widened and she dropped into a curtsey "Milady, I-"
L'Arachel held up her hand. "Go." Azzali's lip quivered and she nodded, turned on her heel, and ran from the room, shoes clicking on the stones as she made her way away.
Meanwhile, Eirika dinned alone in her room.
It was late, and she had just excused herself from a meeting with her brother's council. Exhausted and hungry, she decided to dine in her room, requesting only the most splendid spread of cheese and meats. She needed the relief that only fatty, hardy foods could bring.
Her patience had been tried over the course of the past few weeks. Amidst delegating land, settling disputes amongst the aristocrats, negotiating and forging friendship treaties with Ekanese nations, and attempting to remember to each, Eirika had found herself exhausted, simply exhausted. Eirika had been in the thick of every situation: after all, once Ephriam secured a marriage with Frelia, he'd leave, and Eirika would truly be Queen of Renais, not that she wasn't already.
It was simply a question of if it would be a sole rule.
True, nearly a month later, she was still angry at both herself and L'Arachel. Angry at her budding feelings, at her sexual desires, at hurting L'Arachel, and, most of all, angry at not being able to look L'Arachel in the eye or even speak to her. She felt dirty, as if she had sullied L'Arachel the night after their evening in the pleasure district, and every time she thought of her, Eirika found her chest tightening in negative emotions.
Given their confrontation earlier, Eirika
Knock, knock. "…Eirika?"
Eirika's knee rammed against the table. "Dash it all!" She shouted, rubbing her kneecap. "Come in!" she called. She hissed under her breath as a new wave of pain shot through her leg.
L'Arachel entered, eyes cast downward. She pushed the door to behind her, leaning against it. "Good evening," she tried.
Eirika nodded, blinking slowly. "Good evening."
"May we talk, Eirika?"
Eirika nodded and motioned towards L'Arachel. She quickly crossed the room and seated herself.
"Eirika, I need you to communicate with me," she said. "I feel like you're… you're still upset over what-"
Eirika cut her off. "I'm not. I'm fine about that now. I'll be sure it won't happen again."
"Eirika, you're still not even letting me talk though!" L'Arachel countered. "I just want you to be honest!"
"I am fine! I made a mistake! I should have never made a pass at someone like you!" she spat.
Silence.
The air grew thick with unease.
"…someone like me?" L'Arachel's voice quivered. She clenched her hands together, eyes narrow. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"I…" Eirika looked down. The damage had been done, enough so that, once more, Eirika had placed herself as L'Arachel's enemy.
"Well then, I am afraid that we have met at an impasse then, Eirika," L'Arachel whispered. "I will leave for Rausten in the morning. My maids have already packed my belongings. I…" L'Arachel's green eyes shimmered with wetness. "I should like to say I expected more from you. Especially given what I felt we had blossoming between us."
Eirika nodded mutely and motioned towards the door, barely chancing a goodbye.
"Milady, you should pursue her."
Eirika snorted at the suggestion. "What do you suppose I do, Enma?" she questioned, brushing her mare, Linde. "Take off at dawn for her homeland Rausten?" She gently ran the curry comb across the beast, and she whinnied, nudging Eirika's paused hand.
"Forgive my frankness, Queen, but as your Commandant, I think that's the only answer. Plus Eirika, it is no longer a matter of your heart," Enma answered. "It's a matter of you being a daft fool not to right what you'd caused. Plus… I suppose it is a bit a matter of your heart." Eirika tossed her curry comb to Enma and picked up a dandy brush, resolute in cleaning Linde.
"I… She," Eirika was at a lose for words. "I do not think this union will help either of us."
"Eirika, look into your heart," Enma said, tucking a lock of grey hair behind her ears. Grey eyes flashed anger and growing irritation. "You love her! So what you made a mistake. Have not we all. You did no harm by your actions until you spurred her two nights ago! Do not you understand?!"
Eirika tossed her brush to the ground, retrieving one and yanking it through Linde's mane. The horse shifted and Eirika quickly calmed her hand. "I do understand Enma! I'm not dumb! You just… you don't understand!" She yanked the brush hard, and Linde tossed her head.
Suddenly, Linde bucked, and Eirika fell to the ground, rubbing her hip, more in shock than injured. "Even Linde thinks you an stubborn brat, milady." Enma chanced a smile, but it came off more as a smirk upon soft pink lips. Eirika rolled her eyes as she extended her hand. Enma quickly helped her to her feet. "Now, what don't I understand?"
Eirika sighed and motioned for Enma to follow. They exited the stables, crossing a small section of bridge until they reached a worn stone bench. Eirika clambered onto it and jumped, hands wrapping around a branch of a solid tree. She pulled herself up and relaxed, sighing. Enma gladly settled for the bench. "Enma, I… I tried to take advantage of L'Arachel near a month ago. I… We were heated and when she said stop, I did so, but I felt so upset with the situation that… I don't know, I tried to avoid her." She gulped, the next words coming out softly. "I feel I am no better than a man that does the same to women and is jailed for the crime."
"Eirika," Enma began. "You are no rapist. You stopped when L'Arachel said so, correct?"
"Yes, but then I left angry-" Enma pressed a finger to her own lips, nodding.
"Eirika, we all get upset sometimes, yet you stopped. While I admonish your treatment of L'Arachel, you did stop. You must move past this moment so as not to have it reoccur." She smiled slightly. "Plus, the marriage is still salvageable. I'm sure the King would agree."
"Enma, my brother has already become resolute in this being a single rule. Given my relationship with L'Arachel, I… I think it may be best. He'll just have to ensure heirs for both Frelia and Renais."
"What is your choice then? Will you stay your hand or follow the buds in your heart?" Enma asked, looking up at Eirika. Eirika's gaze fell.
"I want to follow her. I… It is what I prefer." The words felt true, resonating in Eirika's heart. She felt her gut clench and her cheeks warm, and knew that what she said was honest.
"Very well," Enma said, rising up from the bench. She dusted herself off and looked towards the castle. "We ride before dawn. Try to settle your heart before then, my Queen."
Notes:
· Nonga is a fictional version of Morocco.
· Mubia is a fictional version of Africa.
· Razeen Kamara's head scarf is supposed to be representational of the Islamic hijab. Much like the women seen in the previous chapter, it is a sign of her religion.