i own nothing
"Jo, I'm sorry, I didn't know"
"I know"
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"It's hard to talk about, and I didn't want to be seen as weak."
"Johanna, you are the farthest thing from weak, you are the strongest person I know, you've been through so much and you are still here." Johanna smiled at him slightly then turned back to look at the sea.
"Don't you want to talk about it?" he asks. She shakes her head.
"Not yet" she whispers. He nods and stands up. The he holds out his hand, she smiles and takes it and they head over to the bonfire.
….
It's on the train ride home at 4 in the morning that Johanna finally speaks up.
"They'd soak me in water from head to toe. I was chained to my chair so I couldn't move as they drenched my in bucket after bucket of freezing cold water."
"Jo, it's ok, you don't have to…" she shook her head.
"If I don't say it now, I never will. So just let me finish." He nodded.
"They'd soak me all over, everything but my head, they'd always save that for last because instead of throwing water at my head they'd dunk my head into the bucket, they'd hold my head down so long that my lungs burned but they'd never let me pass out, not at that part. Once I was wet they'd attach wires all over my body and turn on the electricity. Every nerve in my body would feel like it was on fire. I'd scream but no one that cared could hear me, sometimes I believed no one cared at all, that maybe this was karma for all the kids I killed. Eventually I stopped screaming, not because it stopped hurting but because I didn't have the energy anymore. Sometimes I'd pass out, sometimes I'd have seizures and sometimes my heart would stop, but the doctors, they wouldn't let me die, no they needed the information. I never gave in to them. They didn't like that, I died 12 times while I was there. Every day I wished they would've let me stay dead. I wished just one time they wouldn't of been able to save me so I wouldn't have to wake up and have it start all over again."
Johanna's voice was shaking and so was her body, gale took her into his arms but stayed silent so she could finish.
"And it sucked, knowing there was one word that was keeping me alive. If I just said 13, it could all just stopped. But I wanted the rebellion so bad. I wanted them all to pay, I wanted it to be at my hand that they fell, after everything they did and everyone I lost, I just wanted to win for once. So instead I said 'down with the president' and they turned the voltage up by 10% and added a third shocking per day. And it sucked because when you guys came and rescued us I couldn't get over the memories and my fear of water and I tried so hard to be ready for the war I wanted it so bad and I didn't even get to fight. They kept me locked in a dorm in district 13, I pounded on those doors until my hands bled and when they finally let me out they told me the war was over and both the presidents were dead. I sat there awhile, and I knew I should be happy but all I could think was what now? Everything I had fought my whole life for had been accomplished and I missed all of it, and quite frankly I didn't know what to do with myself. I didn't know where to go. I couldn't stand being underground any longer so staying in 13 was out otherwise I'd go insane. I couldn't go back to seven not after everything, not when everything there reminded me of those I lost and the victors village would haunt me forever reminding me of the things I had done. I couldn't move to the capital and have to see all the people snow had sold my body to. 12 was out because the mocking jay and bread boy's love fest made me sick. 4 was a no, there was way too much water when I heard Finn had died, I couldn't bring myself to face Annie, or the child that would look just like him, Finn had been the only thing I had left the only thing that kept me strong and I know I always said there was no one left that I loved but Finn was like a brother to me, he made me feel like I wasn't a monster because if someone like Finn could still stand to be around me then I couldn't be that bad. And I had to pretend not to care about him because anyone I was ever close to ended up dead, and he ended up dead anyways. At that point I would take the capital or even 7 over going to 4. I couldn't go to 1, I killed both the kids from there in my first games. Then I heard they were sending you to 2 and well, you were pretty much the only one that I could stand being around and Paylor offered me a job and it just seemed like the best place for me at the time so I hopped on the first train to district 2 and well you know the rest."
He was in shock for a second and then held her tighter to himself and whipped away the tears she wasn't aware she had shed.
"I won't let anyone hurt you ever again."
"I know"
They didn't let go of each other until the train reached 2 but even then their hands stayed clasped together.
Please review! Thanks for reading:)