AN: The idea for this came from a crossover I found listed elsewhere on . I didn't actually read the thing, but in the characters listed in the blurb, it listed 'Imperial Guard & Louise.' That's the Imperial Guard from Warhammer 40K. As in the Imperial Guard that protects 1 million worlds, and launches crusades with Billions of front line soldiers.

So. Now, for your reading pleasure, Louise summons the Imperial Guard. All of it.

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"Answer my summons and appear!"

With a deafening crack, smoke filled the summoning courtyard. And the school halls. And the clearing around the castle. And the forest around the clearing. And the nation of Tristain around that. And the totality of Halkeginia around that.

All across Halkeginia, one thought came into the mind of every man, woman, and child.

Boy, it's crowded in here.

Slowly, very slowly as the smoke didn't have much of anywhere to disperse to, except for the upper atmosphere, seeing as how the lower atmosphere was now heavily populated with aircraft, the smoke did gradually dissipate. One and all, the students in the summoning court wriggled in place to try and make themselves comfortable, seeing as how they were suddenly packed in tight with... men?

Men in armor. With guns. lots of men in armor with lots of guns. Most of them had scars and considering that for the most part, only their faces was visible, being able to discern that said something about their occupation. That what covered most of the rest of their bodies was armor was also a pretty big clue.

Louise herself found that she was plastered up against the face of a scowling, heavy-set man wearing dark forest-green armor, a heavy cloak with a high collar and no hood clasped with a silver chain, and a thick cigar held in one hand.

Somehow, he did not appear to be in any way discomfitted or cramped by the massive press of (largely armed and armored) humanity occupying the summoning court.

"I," He growled, glaring down at Louise, "Am Ursakar E. Creed, Lord Castellan. Who, girl, are you?"

If Louise had grown up in a house not occupied by Karin of the Heavy Wind, she would have passed out on the spot. As it was, she stuttered.

"I-I am L-louise Francoise de la Blanc de la Valliere," she said, then mumbled under her breath as quickly as she could, "."

With that, the young woman grabbed hold of Creed's collar, hauled herself upward, and planted a kiss on his scowling mouth.

A man long experienced with victory in war, and the attendant parades, it was not an experience Creed was at all unfamiliar with, though usually the girls blushed more. Caught in fond reminiscence of days past, Creed did not even consciously notice the runes searing themselves into the back of his left hand. After a few moments passed with no reaction, Louise, disappointed, lowered herself back to the ground, and then looked around, paling slightly.

Founder, she thought to herself, Am I going to have to kiss all of them?

While the pinkette was still trying to work up the courage, Creed finished reminiscing, then glanced around and frowned.

"Sloppy deployment," He growled, then gestured sharply with the hand not holding the cigar.

All across Halkeginia, those who had appeared, disappeared, leaving only memories (and tank-tracks, and walker prints, and impact craters, and craters...) behind.

For a long moment, there was silence.

"How did you do that!" Louise eventually burst out.

"I," Creed said, turning to glare down at her again, "Am a Tactical Genius."

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Creed deals with Guiche:

"Now my Valkyrie," The blonde fop proclaimed dramatically, "Go forth and defeat this magical blunt who would claim to be a noble!"

The Valkyrie advanced; Creed, unimpressed, took a drag at his cigar, causing Louise to wonder again how it was he always had one lit and ready at hand, then gestured at the bronze golem.

Suddenly, a five meter tall bipedal machine was revealed within the Valkyrie, which promptly exploded as something far larger than it was present inside, scattering bronze shrapnel about the Vestri court. The bipedal machine gave the dumbstruck blonde noble a gentle kick; which for a machine of that size translated to knocking the fop across the courtyard, into blissful unconsciousness.

"Good work Sergeant," Creed declared, projecting his voice clearly without needing to raise it in the least, "That will be all."

"Yes, Sir!" The man atop the bipedal machine said, saluting sharply, before walking the machine around a corner of the castle, at which point it disappeared.

The onlooking students gawked.

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Creed deals with Foquet.

The thief silently watched as her golem, not silently at all, battered its way into the Academy Vault.

"Attention," A loud voice suddenly declared from the courtyard below, "Foquet of the Crumbling Earth, I have been directed by the planetary Governor to apprehend you. I command you to surrender in the name of the Holy Imperium of Man!"

Foquet blinked, then turned to stare down at the, admittedly rather impressive man, who was staring up at her as he took a pull on his cigar. On the whole, Foquet respected the man, seeing as how he took absolutely no crap from nobles whatsoever, and didn't give a damn what they threatened him with. Unfortunately, she couldn't allow him to interfere with her own work, so hopefully he could be made to see reason.

"Apprehend me?" She shouted down at him, "You and what army?"

"This army," An oddly filtered voice suddenly whispered in her ear.

Foquet, the most famed and feared thief in all of Halkeginia, most certainly did not shriek like a little girl. She did spin around in place, bringing her wand to bear on the unexpected threat. A threat which promptly relieved her of her wand, and came in the form of a man clad head to toe in an utterly skintight black suit, holding the largest pistol she had ever seen, which was aimed unwaveringly at the center of her forehead.

Unarmed, Foquet stared at the man for a long, long moment, hoping desperately that he would flinch, look away, anything that would give her an opening. He didn't move though, Foquet didn't think he was even breathing.

"I surrender," She said reluctantly, raising her arms helplessly.

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Creed deals with Wardes:

"Boy," Creed ground out, Death itself seeming to reside in his voice and gaze, "Kidnapping and using Warp Sorcery on an Imperial Governor is a Capital offense."

Wardes groaned in aggravation, turning away from the priest and his would-be-bride to stare at the Imperial Noble.

"I left you in Tristain," Wardes ground out, "Without any form of air transport. How the hell did you get to Albion?"

"Thunderhawk," Creed ground out, "Now surrender, and I will hand you over to the courts, rather than execute you immediately."

"I think no-AIEEE!" Wardes exclaimed, as he reached for his sword-wand, and instead found an elite Storm Trooper in its holster, who promptly drove a chainsword into the traitorous count's chest, splattering blood and viscera all across the altar and priest.

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Creed deals with the Reconquista army.

"So son," Creed said, chewing on his cigar (where did he Get those, Louise screamed in her mind) as he stared out over the approaching Reconquista army from the castle of Albion's walls, "I understand you're in need of an army."

"That would be true," Prince Wales said, "I don't suppose you would happen to have one tucked away somewhere?"

"Well," Creed said, turning to face the prince with a positively terrifying grin, "Now that you mention it..."

Below, a wall of massive, exceedingly heavily armed tanks rolled out from behind... Wales wasn't really certain what the box-like metal vehicles had been concealed behind, but they were there now.

A thunderous roar of cannons echoed over the plain below, and the Reconquista army, more or less, ceased to exist.

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Creed deals with Joseph of Gallia:

Creed stared out at the army of golems that Joseph had fielded and snorted in derision.

"Bah," He said, "Mine's bigger," then stepped aside, revealing his deployment for the battle.

How a leviathan of a machine taller than Louise's mind could currently comprehend had managed to hide behind him, she was not certain, but she had learned enough from her time with Creed, at this point, to instinctively squint her eyes as close to shut as she could, and clap her hands over her ears to protect them against the forthcoming deafening sounds.

"++CORPUS FINIS+MACHINA," The massive war machine bellowed in a harsh metallic tone as it stepped forward, a single massive stride carrying it over and a dozen yards past Louise, "MAGNUS+SANCTUS METALLUM+POTESTAS OMNISSIAH,"

Its words paused for a moment as one of its arms came to bear on the battle line of golems. On instinct, Louise raised her arms to shield her eyes as best she could while keeping her hands in place over her ears.

Something screamed, as a torrent of white-hot light slashed through the rank of golems, vaporizing all it touched instantly, the beam so bright, that Louise could literally see it through her arms.

"OMNISSIAH VULT," The machine continued, "DEATH TO THE ENEMIES OF THE MACHINE GOD."

Then it moved forward, and fired again, this time from both arms, and the King of Gallia's was no more.

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AN: I like this idea. It's too cracky to ever be a real story, but makes for good humor, I think.

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OMAKE: Creed deals with Failbaddon.

"I HAVE YOU NOW, CREED!" The Chaos champion screamed in triumph, "NO BANEBLADES FOR YOU THIS TIME!"

"Ah, Abaddon," Creed said, shaking his head and sighing in disappointment as he discarded the butt of his spent cigar, "Will you never learn, that you cannot defeat a Tactical Genius?"

Acting purely on instinct, Abaddon dove to the side, spinning in place to face whatever was behind him.

Behind him, was a diminutive little girl, who could barely be a meter and a half tall, wearing nothing but simple white clothing and a cloak, and carrying only a simple stick in the way of weapons.

"THIS?" Abaddon said in disbelief, staring at the tiny, pink haired, human in front of him, "THIS PATHETIC ANDROGYNOUS CHILD IS WHAT YOU SEEK TO DESTROY ME WITH, CREED?"

The girl's pink eyebrow twitched, and somewhere, deep within his blackened, self-deluded heart, Abaddon felt a twinge of fear.

Then the girl raised her stick, and spoke the last word Abaddon would ever hear.

"EXPLOSION!"

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AN: Sorry about missing last week's update; my computer has been acting like some sort of half-dead thing. It may continue to disrupt my posting schedule, but don't worry, I am still writing, even if it doesn't show up as much.