A.N. Sorry it took so long to get this chapter up, every single part of my computer is being a little shit.

8. Duellist for hire

"Kaiba, do you even know how to play Poker?"

"No, but I've seen people playing it on westerns and whatnot, doesn't seem that difficult. Plus, I'll have the master as a teacher, won't I, Master?" He said the word as if it were an insult.

"What, you'll just beat him and pass the honours back to me out of the kindness of your heart?"

"That's the type of person I am. The nicest guy on the face of the planet."

Joey choked on the last bite of his burger. "Geez, Kaiba. I think your lie detector just exploded."

"What? I'm kindness personified." They looked at him, completely unconvinced. "Okay, I just want him gone, and I'll do whatever it takes." He stared at B. "You're not leaving us alone no matter what I do, will you?"

"Nope."

"Didn't think so." They were in a room filled with all kinds of games. Kaiba got a deck of cards from a drawer and threw it at the crazy version of himself. "Alright, then. Make yourself useful."

"Yeah, yeah."

They spent the morning talking about Poker's rules and plays, while Joey accommodated himself on a sofa with a handheld. Kaiba got the basics pretty fast after they started playing it, but it would still be a while before he beat the other. When it came down to it, it was more of a luck-based game than Duel Monsters, but that didn't mean you could win without skill.

He stared at B. as he shuffled the deck, then averted his eyes annoyed when the other winked at him.

"Don't flatter yourself. It's just... this whole 'other me' deal is way too bizarre. Hn. Maybe Yugi isn't as full of shit as I thought. Though I still prefer to believe he's just bipolar."

B. Looked a little confused but that reminded him of something. "Speaking of which, what are we doing about your appearance? You can just go looking like me."

"I know. Maybe I could make some sort of holographic image altering device and…"

"There's no need for something so complicated. We could just wear disguises." Joey spoke without raising his eyes from his game.

"We? Who said you were coming too?"

"Aw, c'mon. It's a different dimension, I wanna see it! The last time I was in another dimension, it was that video game world you made, plus I didn't get to go with my own body, and now I do. Also I wanna check out the other me!"

"Video game world, huh. You guys sure lead an interesting life here."

Kaiba suddenly remembered the outfit Joey wore back then and was glad he was sitting down behind a table. He cleared his throat before speaking in case his enthusiasm threatened to show up on his voice. "Alright, whatever. Search on the internet for a decent costumes store. And have them deliver whatever you buy today." He handed Joey his credit card and laptop. That entertained him for a while. He ordered several wigs and sunglasses from a cosplay website, and Kaiba's name assured him they would be delivered as soon as possible.

A few hours later, Joey answered the door and came back with several boxes and packages.

"I somehow knew you would buy the whole store. I just hope there's something decent in there."

"You bet there is. But first, check this out!"

He pulled out a long, white wig and put it on his head, making sure his left eye was covered, and spoke in an affected manner: "Do you wanna duel me, Kaiba-boy?"

Kaiba cringed. "You have a terrible sense of humour. Now I know why you laughed at his jokes. Take that off."

Joey took the Pegasus wig off, embarrassed. "Sorry. But I do have something that I think it would really look good on you." He opened a box that contained a shoulder-length silver wig, with nose-length bangs and showed it to Kaiba, who approved his taste this time.

Checking himself out in a mirror, Kaiba seemingly liked what he saw. He searched around the boxes, soon finding exactly what he was looking for: a pair of round blue shades. "Perfect. As for you…" Kaiba chose a wig that had caught his eye when he was searching for the shades. It was black, with short bangs, and it jutted upwards on the sides with blond highlights.

"That's some crazy taste you got."

"What are you talking about? You're the one who bought all these weird-ass shit. C'mon, put this on."

"Hey, I wanna play too!" B. tried every single item Joey had bought, just for fun, complaining that none of the items contributed to make him look even hotter.

"And add this for the finishing touch." Kaiba handed a pair of red aviators to Joey.

"Eh, they're cool, but they look kinda girly."

"…Seriously. You chose them."

"Ah, I just thought they looked nice in the picture. Well, they do look nice, but…" He put them on anyway and B. whistled, immediately causing Kaiba to elbow him. "Okay. I'll stick with these, then."

After everything was chosen and put separately, Joey went back to the sofa, while the Kaibas resumed their Poker game.

"How are we going to solve the 'other' issue?" Kaiba remembered there was another thing to take care of.

"The cards?"

"Yeah. How will I get past the fact that they're all marked? To him, at least."

"Well, the deck I got him is pretty unique. Maybe we could try to find one just like it and exchange them before the duel. I bought it online. Try to check the website."

He told him the address, but the page apparently didn't exist in this world.

"Great." They browsed several card games websites, rarities and gifts pages, until they found the exact same deck at an auction page.

"A $600 bid for a freaking deck of cards. $1000 to buy it on the spot."

"Wow. I paid only $500 on mine."

"Holy shit, I don't think I've ever spent this much even in Duel Monsters cards (hah, who am I kidding, of course I have). Oh well, as long as they deliver it until tomorrow." He bought the ridiculously expensive deck, on the condition that it would be delivered within 24 hours.

It was well past midnight when they had decided to call it a day. Joey had been long sleeping slouched on the sofa. Kaiba shook his shoulder. "Hey, freeloader. Go to your house."

"Mmnncaann't… no keys…"

"Oh, that's nice. You were planning to sleep here this whole time, weren't you?" He got no response. "Well, you go back to your world then. Fuck, it's weird saying that."

"I can't. He has people looking for me all over the city. Few days ago, Taylor found my hideout."

"Then… I don't know. Just pick one of those wigs and—"

"Really, we can't risk ruining the plan so close to the climax. I like that word. Climax. Just let me stay here, I haven't slept on a bed in days. If I don't behave, you can… punish me."

"Right, because you so obviously hate being punished. And I'd sooner trust a random hobo before I trusted you. Not with him here." He glanced at Joey.

"C'mon, don't be an ass, ass!"

Kaiba sighed, somehow knowing it was useless discussing with a crazy counterpart of himself. "Alright, I'll just lock you in a room for the night then. And don't bother trying to escape and go looking for him 'cause he'll be with me."

"You just want all the fun to yourself, don't you? Ever heard of sharing?"

"Another word and you're sleeping outside."

"Yeah, yeah."

Kaiba locked him in a room and carried Joey to his own bedroom. Laying him on the bed, he went to his desk and turned on his laptop to study about Poker some more. Then he sent an email to Mokuba to tell him things would be over soon and he'd be able to come back. Even if the madman ended up being more docile than they anticipated, he wouldn't take any chances.

When his eyes got too tired of the brightness of the screen, he turned it off and got ready to sleep, momentarily halting when he looked at his bed. He had completely forgotten Joey was there.

Doesn't mean anything. I'll just go to sleep like usual. Joey snored lightly, but that didn't bother him. What did bother him five minutes later was Joey flinging his arms around him, still deeply immersed in sleep. Wonderful. He gently removed the other's arms from his neck and distanced himself. On his king-size bed there was a lot of room for both of them to sleep without the need of touching one another.

A couple of minutes went by and then Joey had his arms around him again.

Godamnit.

He shook Joey awake. "Hey. Behave yourself."

"Gnnn? Where am I?"

"My room. The maniac had to stay here for the night and I didn't want to risk having him going after you."

"Aww. You jealous?"

"Well, if you don't mind being molested by him, you're free to sleep wherever you want. The key to his room is on the desk."

That didn't really do much to paint him in a less jealous colour, but he was too tired to care.

"No, no, no, you're right. It's safer here."

Kaiba wasn't so sure of that. "Just… stay on your side and mind your arms."

Joey had no idea why he sounded so tense, but decided not to push it. He still was pretty sleepy.

Eight minutes later, he was snoring with his arms by his head and a leg over Kaiba.

Kaiba sighed, getting up and finding a futon in the closet. Idiot.

Not used to sleeping on the floor, it took a while for sleep to take him.

oOo

He woke up with a neck pain and Joey sleepily babbling something about killing birds with a hanger, went to the bathroom to take care of business, put on a black, long-sleeved coat over his also black turtleneck and pants, and then shook dreaming boy awake.

"Sleep well, princess?"

Joey yawned, stretching his arms with both middle fingers in the air. "Fuck off."

"Well, I did carry you here like a princess last night and you didn't even wake up."

"Er… I uh… I slept like a log, thank you. Hey, what does that even mean?"

"It means you sleep like a dead person, like a log after someone cut it from a tree. Because it's dead."

"Really?"

"No. I'm gonna go wake up the crazy one. Stay here and lock the door."

"'Kay. Wow! You look… wow." Maybe I should dress-up too.

Kaiba's suspicions over the other were unfounded, as he was trying to behave his best to get the help he wanted. He went back to retrieve Joey and they had breakfast. To everyone's delight, the deck arrived while they were eating, and Kaiba promptly unpacked it and started to mess with it to make it look at least a little used.

Then they played some more Poker until Joey got bored.

"When are you planning to go defeat the other me?"

"Later today."

"What? But you just learned how to play yesterday."

"There are not that many secrets to the game. Besides, did you forget who you're talking to? I think I can handle a cheating loser like that."

"Alright. So when are we leaving?"

"We leave in three hours, after lunch. If you're not here by then, we'll go without you."

"Got it. See ya!" He slammed the door on his way out, causing Kaiba to snarl.

"And? Why do you look so pent up?"

"What? Where did you get that from?"

"Oh, you know you can't fool me. What is it? Blondie's not putting out?"

Kaiba sighed. "Do I really have to discuss this with you?"

B. looked around. "It seems you don't have many options. Where is everyone? My place is always full of people; I've barely ever seen anyone here."

"There isn't anyone, I don't like people. And…" He thought about how he should put it. "We're not… in the 'putting out' stage yet."

"What? What are you—"

"Don't interrupt me. Wheeler is… I don't know, too innocent or too naïve. It seems like he doesn't even thinks about these things."

He told B. the whole story.

"You're not even in love with him? That's rich. Give him to me then."

"Not in a million years. And I already told you, I'll end you the next time you even think about touching him. Stay here. I have to call the office. Don't… don't do anything I wouldn't."

"Yeah, yeah." B. smiled knowingly when the other left the room. "Who's the naïve one here? The way you talk, the way you look at him and you're not in love with him? Either you're blind or you're crazier than me."

TBC

Kaiba wants to know what love is. And he wants you to show him. But only if your name is Joey Wheeler.

Come on, internet, would it kill you to make me a Yu-Gi-Oh! dress-up game? If I could, say, put Yusei's hair on Joey, or Kaiba's clothes on Astral I'd be such a happy kitten~

+ Joey's love for ridiculously shitty horror movies is a little headcanon of mine :3 which is weird because he's usually scared of monsters and stuff.