11. No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to dine.

"Well, well, well. So my little lost lamb has decided to come home. And he brought some… unusual friends with him." The master was wearing a weird metallic crown-shaped contraption. Kaiba remembered about how he had an immunity device against the sense disruptor. He was also wearing clothes that resembled royal garment. Very douchey-like. His voice was also a bit different from Joey's. Kaiba couldn't pinpoint exactly why at the moment.

Dog and lamb. What is with these two and animals? Fucking weirdoes. Kaiba decided on a polite manner of speaking, as to add to the character he had in mind. He did his best to show a pleasant smile that distanced himself miles from the other Kaiba, while trying on a very gentle voice. "Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Kyosuke Kiryu, and this is my partner, Yusei Fudo." Joey's stomach did a flip-flop at the word partner. "We come from Crash Town." He held out his hand to the pompous Master Joey Wheeler, who took it after a moment of examining both boys.

"Crash Town? I haven't heard of it, it must be really far from here. What a pleasure to receive visitors from so far away. How do you find our Domino City?"

"Ah, it's very beautiful. Our little town has nothing on it."

"I'm glad you liked it. And your relations with my dear Kaiba here are…?"

"Well, it seems he was travelling and got himself lost. We found him on our doorstep, begging for water and a plate of food. Of course we took pity on him and accommodated him until he was ready to return to his own home." He looked at B., who apparently was trying to kill him with his eyes. He repeated the pleasant smile. "It also seems he has a mild case of amnesia. He really was an enigma to us for a while, until he started screaming about 'Master' and 'Domino' constantly in his sleep, and that's what finally led us here."

"Oh, I see." He turned towards B. "So my little lamb really was lost. Well, what do you say we let our guests rest while you tell me of your adventures, my dearest Kaiba? Memoryless or not, I'm sure you have plenty to tell."

B. pleaded silently with his sane counterpart. It's your show now, Nice Me. And if you don't get me out of it, I'll eat you and both dogs alive.

"Ah, there is another reason though, that we decided to come see you. I don't know if there are any formalities I should be aware of, but I'm here to duel you, Master."

The Master turned to look at him, his smile faltering for a second. "Really? That's wonderful! I haven't had a challenger in weeks; I was starting to think they'd given up. So, are you any good?"

Kaiba shrugged."I've won most of the championships in the Crash Town area. But soon the challenge began to die down and I found myself bored. Then what little Mr. Kaiba remembered about you was that you were a most skillful player. And that got my interest in the game to rise again."

"Well, then he remembered correctly. Though I must warn you, before you say the magic words, about the consequences."

Kaiba feigned ignorance. "Oh? Enlighten me."

To his surprise, the Master explained the rules the same way B. had, without concealing or altering anything. "So, still up for it, Mr. Kiryu?"

Kaiba managed to come up with an even more pleasant smile than before. "Of course. Master, I challenge you to a duel."

"Magnificent." They shook hands to seal the deal. "But you really should rest, though. And get… acquainted with my humble abode. We'll leave the duel for tomorrow. Mr. Muto will show you to your room." He got up and motioned for that world's Yugi to join them.

Kaiba got up as well and bowed his head almost imperceptibly. "Thank you." What a pompous ass. He extended his hand to Joey who was still sitting on the familiar, but still not quite the same couch. He looked mortified as he stared at his counterpart. "Come."

He was also stupefied at Kaiba's ability to come up with that whole story in such short time. He just hoped the attention wouldn't turn towards him, as he was sure he couldn't keep up with that level of making things up on the spot. As he got up to take Kaiba's hand, the Master stopped in front of him. He stared at a warped version of his own face.

"How about you, Mr. Fudo? Do you play Poker as well?"

'Mr. Fudo' paled, but before he could even think of something to say, 'Mr. Kiryu' came to his rescue. "He has a voice condition, so he doesn't speak much. Excuse him, please."

"A voice condition, huh? How unfortunate. Oh well. One of my servants will call you for dinner. Now you come with me, dear Kaiba."

B. stared daggers at Kaiba again.

"It might be rude of me to ask, but couldn't you please leave him with us for a while? We've grown so fond of him these past few days he spent with us, so I don't see anyone more suitable to show us around. That is, if he remembers the place, of course."

"Yes! Yes! As soon as we got here I seemed to remember perfectly about this place. It's almost as if I lived here most of my life."

The Master pouted slightly. "…Fine. You can go with them." He grabbed B. by the hem of his pants and pulled him towards him to whisper in his ear. "Your punishment can wait a little longer."

B. just smiled like he didn't know what he was talking about and went with Yugi and the other two.

The Master poured some bourbon to himself while he watched them climb the stairs. "Amnesia my ass. Oh well, you won't escape from me again. Devlin, my room."

oOo

Joey couldn't stop staring at the other Yugi in front of him. He looked just like his friend. Well, of course he did, but what impressed him is that he really seemed like the exact same person. Not a twisted copy, like Kaiba's and his.

"Would you like separate rooms or just one?"

"Just one will be fine."

"Here it is then." He smiled such a 'Yugi' smile that Joey had to fight the urge to reply, 'Thanks, Yug'!' None of the Kaibas replied either. They entered and locked the door.

"Why did—"

"Shh." Both Kaibas shushed him at the same time. B. opened a drawer and grabbed a notepad and a pen. He wrote:

The room is probably bugged. Don't say anything that could accuse you.

Kaiba: Wheeler, don't say anything at all. Remember what I said about your voice.

Joey: This will be such a pain…

Kaiba: Yeah, what with you being a chatterbox and all.

Joey: Hey!

Kaiba: Let's just rest like he wanted us to. And later you can show us around, little lamb.

B. scratched Kaiba's last line and drew a huge dong.

Kaiba: We're going to lie down. If you try to approach the bed, I'll hand you to your master.

B.: He is NOT my master and never will be.

Kaiba: Whatever. Don't come near us.

B.: Yeah, yeah.

He sat on the windowsill and started doing a crosswords puzzle that he had also found on the drawer. Joey was in bed already. He had removed the wig and the sunglasses and just lay there, as if he didn't have a care in the world. Kaiba sighed and lay beside him, after removing his own accessories.

"Tired, 'Yusei'?"

Joey wanted to ask where had he gotten those names from, but he just shook his head.

"So? Did you like it here?" He winked at Joey and lowered his voice. "You can whisper in my ear if you want to. I'm sure your voice will be fine like this."

Joey felt his face on fire when he got closer to Kaiba's ear. "Back then you said—"

"I don't think we should discuss… important matters here. This can wait until we're back home. I know. Why don't we do something else, since you can't speak?"

He instantly heard a sound like a magazine being hastily closed, and B. had turned towards them, just in time to see Joey blush even harder. "Now we're talking!"

"Turn back."

"I keep saying, you're no fun at all!" He whined, mumbling something or other about mean people who didn't even let him watch, but returned to his crosswords.

Kaiba wrote something on a paper and threw at him, hitting B.'s head with it before he caught it.

I was nice enough to let you come with us, so stay fucking put. I'll know if you're looking; I'll push you from this window.

He returned his attention to Joey, lowering his voice. "I won't do anything, though. If you want it, you do it."

Joey was embarrassed, sure, but nothing compared to that first time they kissed. At least now his mind was clear since there wasn't a maniac toying with it. Even if said maniac was still in the room with them, he found he didn't mind being an exhibitionist with such an opportunity on his lap. He touched Kaiba's face softly and placed an even softer kiss on his lips. Seeing as Kaiba really wasn't doing anything to help him out, he kissed him again. And again. And two more times until he managed to keep his lips on Kaiba's and deepen the kiss. He felt like butterflies were partying in his stomach.

He caressed Kaiba's hair, while tentatively reaching for one of his arms with the other hand, and positioned the arm around himself. When he finished the kiss, he tried kissing his neck, but Kaiba halted him.

"I think that's enough for now. Take a nap if you want to. I'll keep an eye on… things."

"Okay." He leaned on Kaiba's shoulder and fell asleep almost instantly.

"How boring, you didn't even do anything."

"Just shut up." Kaiba tried to solve complicated math problems in his head, trying to remember why exactly he had started something they wouldn't be able to finish. Right, trying to get Joey to come out of the shell. Well, at least it worked.

B. flawlessly completed the puzzle using only sexual terms, including also Die Devlin Die in the middle.

TBC

I think I have a thing for people sitting on windowsills. It always looks so… gloomy and beautiful.

+ The Master's royal garment... yeah, kinda of a jab at Kaiba's clothes in season 0/beginning of manga, but ugh, he was pretty douchey. Not that the Kaiba we all know and love isn't but still... agh, you know what I mean.

For all purposes, a wig and a pair of sunglasses make the perfect disguise, just like in every anime, movie, show, etc that you've ever seen.

You Say x Kitty-u *noms*

~Omake~

Joey suddenly had a moment of realization. He got his Duel Monsters deck from his pocket and fished out a card.

Joey: So you like lambs, huh? Have a look at this!

He played the Scapegoat card in attack mode. Even if it was a spell card and he couldn't do that.

Master: That's… that's the most adorable thing I've ever seen! I demand you give it to me!

Joey: Only if you let me be the Master.

(ex) Master: Done!

And so, Joey Wheeler beat the mighty Master.