18 - Allons-y!

While he stared at his two puppies talking, B. imagined a thousand different scenarios that always ended up with none of them being able to walk. When he felt a hand on his shoulder, he instinctively turned his head and licked it.

"Ew. What the fuck?" Kaiba wiped his hand aggressively on his coat.

"Oh. Hey, Nice me. Want to know what I'm thinking about?"

"The answer to this question will always, always be never. Come with me."

"The answer to this... well, it wasn't a question. Whatever. Will always be I'll come wherever you want."

"Hmph." He stopped suddenly to avoid a couple of security guards and B. crashed on his back. "If what I just felt is a boner, I'm gonna punch you again."

"No, no, no. The line is supposed to go, "Is that a fucking light saber in your pocket or you just want me to fuck you?"

Kaiba didn't want to kill his opponent right there in the open, so he decided to ignore him. He pulled him to a pantry and closed the door.

"Hmm... things are suddenly getting interesting." Kaiba held his wrist and pressed a button. A minute later, they were inside his secret lab, and Kaiba removed the sheets that were covering his invention.

B's jaw dropped to the floor as he stared at the blue telephone box in front of him. "I-Is that a... is that a fucking..."

"No time to explain. Come on. It's bigger on the inside."

"I know it's fucking bigger on the inside! That's a..."

"You're saying 'fuck' a lot today. Is something wrong?" Kaiba teased B. as he connected the dimension gadget to the control panel of the alien ship they were in. The thing started making a vworp vworp sound, and B. thought it was the most beautiful sound in the universe.

"Where are we going? Why are you a Time Lord all of a sudden?"

"I have something to do right now and Wheeler was busy, so you're my companion."

B. didn't ask anything else, and as the ship came to a stop, he wondered if they were going to fight moving mannequins, angel statues or what. But then Kaiba opened the door and they were in a ship. A sailing ship.

"Looks like we're just in time."

A few people were lined up on the deck, and B. noticed some of them were pretty hot. Kaiba pulled him and the two stood between a blonde guy and a black-haired girl. B. tried with all his might not to drool.

"Kaiba! You came!" A boy that looked to be about their age suddenly threw his arms in front of him and they stretched as if they were made of rubber. His hands grabbed the railing beside Kaiba and brought his body along. A gust of wind hurled his strawhat away, and Kaiba grabbed it before it would fly overboard.

"Well, he is my friend after all." He returned the hat to its owner.

"Shh. Here he comes."

Another boy came out of the galley. "Hey, guys. What are you all doing out here?"

The green-haired swordsman started to clap. "Congratulations."

The strawhat boy started to clap. "Congratulations!"

The red-haired girl started to clap. "Congratulations."

The skeleton man started to clap. "Yohohoho! Congratulations!"

The… man in a speedo started to clap. "Supeeer congratulations!"

The black-haired girl and a short reindeer boy started to clap. "Congratulations."

The blond man started to clap. "Congratulations."

Kaiba started to clap and B. followed along. "Congratulations."

The boy (who had a nose that almost made B. blush) smiled with tears in his eyes and started hugging everyone.

After they all finished felicitating the birthday boy, Kaiba turned towards B. and pulled him by the collar. "I suppose I should give you a gift for following along with all of this."

"Oh, fuck yes! So long as you don't punch me again."

As Kaiba leaned closer, it felt like the ship had hit a rock or something and everything fell out of focus.

B. woke up on the floor, startled and mildly disappointed and looked around. He had fallen asleep while fantasizing about the Joeys. "Goddamnit. I gotta stop watching anime."

The end (not)

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. (I'm also sorry to non-Doctor Who fans who don't know what the shit just happened. Ignore me, it's okay.) (And non-One Piece fans =_=)

Was this pulled out of my ass in ten minutes? Completely. I'll post the real chapter in one or two days.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY USOPP