A/n: Chapter...um...
(You know, I really should remember, I'm the one writing it...)
Five, including prologue, right? So, this is chapter four, right?

Well, right now I'm feeling pathetic, but I wasn't a moment ago. No homework. Well, I'm supposed to download some software for Band, but that doesn't seem to work. I've done all the homework that I can do and do have.

Finally got around to start reading that Twilight book that everyone's raving about. Not bad. I'm afraid I'll get distracted. If I start rambling about it annoyingly long, warn me, and I'll try to get back on track.

Ahhhh...oh yeah. Did I mention? MARY SUE OC!!!!(SERIOUSLY!!)!!!!! That will be the topic of my "special." And she'll probably be the last one, too, because she's Mary-Sue and will take all of my attention. Because that's what Sues do.
(That phrasing oddly makes me want to make an icon of "This is your brain.(egg) This is your brain on Mary-Sues.(smash egg with frying pan)")

I'm also afraid that the last few chapters will be depressing. Why? Because I'm getting depressed. Why? No. Date. For. Homecoming. It wouldn't bother me so much if I hadn't gone through that whole deal for every.single.dance.that.I.can.remember.
I have a strategy to start slow-dancing with myself. Hopefully that'll make it blatently obvious how lonely I am and get a partner out of sympathy.

Wow. I think I'm actually done with the A/n. That was fast...er...than usual...

Disclaimer: I'd do something along the lines of writing a skit or something in which Pein or someone explains that I don't own them, but that seems kind of contradictory...
So. Pein, Konan, Hidan, Kakuzu, Sasori, Deidara, Tobi, Itachi, Zetsu, and Kisame, in no particular order, belong to Masashi Kishimoto and not me, even if I do make some changes (between OOC and changing Konan's name to Kai, I've made a few). However, that cute little bundle of :ahem: "joy" with the dark hair and the normally dull eyes (don't suppose that sounds familar? No? I hope not. I like sounding like I actually use tact.)

Tobi and Itachi sat at the table, Tobi still cradling that god-damned child like she needed it, trying to coax her into eating something. She may have had the skills of an eighteen-year-old kunoichi, but she seemed to often retain that stubborn behavior that Pein personally associated with an age something like eighteen months old.

Finally, Tobi sighed and sat her upright on his lap, asking her softly, "Okay Hana-chan, will you tell Tobi-touchan where you went?"

Hana? That was this child's name? Whatever her name was, she pouted and pointed to Pein.

Tobi turned his head in confusion. "You were with Leader-jiisama?"

Pein blinked. Jii…sama…? Of course. If Tobi was technically his son, and this child was technically Tobi's daughter, then this child was technically technically his granddaughter.

'Shit,' was the only thing that came to his mind. 'I'm a grandfather.'

Hana or whatever her name was shook her head and held her hands apart, looking as though she was holding something.

"Uhhhh…" Tobi seemed stumped by her sign language. "You were practicing your jutsus with Leader-jiisama?"

Hana shook her head again, trying to square the space between her hands. Itachi blurted, "You were in his room?"

Hana's face snapped to face him, smiling brightly and nodding.

Itachi sighed tiredly. "Hana-san, what were you doing in Leader-otousama's room?"

Hana frowned and blurted, "Why do you always call him 'leader' when you could just as easily call him Pein—that's his real name, after all."

Everyone at the table flinched in one motion, none quite so much as Pein. Itachi was the first to regain his rigidity, answering, "Because he prefers to be referred to as a leader than as a pain."

Pein had to admit—Itachi was a lot better with children than he'd expect; smart enough to explain things without gory details and still leaving room for the details to come later, quick enough to explain it with a touch of humor, and serious enough to keep them quiet when the time came. Hana did indeed become silent at this, settling into another pout.

A few seconds proceeded this way before Tobi cleared his throat and reiterated, "Why were you in Leader-otousama's room?"

Hana frowned at her knees, puckering her lips in thought, opening them only to breathe something that nobody seemed to hear; everyone leaned in toward her, Itachi, Kakuzu, and Sasori being the only exceptions, and Tobi asked, "What's that, Hana-chan?"

"She said she didn't think anyone could sleep in that late," Itachi explained, "and assumed the worst, that he was dead."

Pein blinked again. She had been worried about him?…and then she attacked him? 'Liar,' Pein assumed.

Kai seemed willing to question this. "Hana-chan, Leader-chan says that you attacked him."

Hana looked away, frowning intensely with a little color showing on her normally pale cheeks. "I didn't know it was him," she mumbled. "It was dark, and I couldn't really see, I thought he was the one who killed him."

Silence stretched for a few moments as this new speculation sunk in. The first thing to break it was Pein chuckling quietly. "I suppose," he contemplated, "that, if your assumption had been correct, that would have been the correct choice." He picked up the newspaper on the paper and opened the front page. "Good job, Hana-chan."

Another silence, this one considerably more final and positive than the last, lasted for about two seconds before Pein heard a humph from Hana's general direction before she added, almost begrudgingly, "By the way, my name is Ren." Pein glanced at her over his paper, seeing that she looked at him with an expression that was basically neutral, but still held a few traces a faint smug smile. "Uchiha Ren."

A/n again: Well. I'm sure (or at least hopeful that) you're all thinking something along the lines of WTF. (coughrememberwhenIwhinedaboutherbeingmarysuecough) And she's today's special topic, so just keep reading to catch that.

Ummm...yeah. Name confusion. Courtesy of Ren pretending to be mute and Tobi going, "Oh! Look! A flower! And there's a girl standing next to it! We should take the girl home and name her Hana!" (Itachi, Ren: "...") And maybe because of other fanfictions (I'm thinking "A Treasure" and spinoffs/sequels/whatnot by DarkCrimsonFlame3) with kids being picked up and re(-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re(am I missing any?))-naming children who are brought into Akatsuki's care. (and, DCF, should you stumble on this, I'm borrowing the most basic blocks of your story in the most respectful way possible. Because I really did like your stories and wish you would post more.)

Expect the next chapter on Saturday. If it's not up by the time you check your email on Sunday, bother me, lest you never see the next chapter.

Preview: Note to self: lock door to room at night, lest personal sleeping space become thoroughly invaded by the younger generation...s.

Special: Ren:
Oh, Ren. Ren, Ren, Ren. I could ramble all day about Ren.
Ren who is so very incredibly painfully Mary-Sue it hurts even me.
Ren who, according to what I'm going to tell you at this point, is so Mary-Sue-ish-ly smart that she realized that one of her parent-types was Itachi, and Itachi is an Uchiha and if he's her parent then she MUST be an Uchiha.
Ren whose name was selected specifically so that she was so Mary-Sue, it's even in her name. To clarify--Mary means, in one interpretation, "love" or "beloved." Sue (is an abbreviation for Susanna which) means "lily" or "rose" or "lotus" (a flower, at any rate). Ren can mean "love" or "lotus." So, even her name is Mary-Sue, in the most literal sense possible. (and if you care, this was all according to Ren whom I'm still not telling you everything about.
Someone said it would be funny if the girl turned out to be the daughter of Akatsuki's leader (not exact words). You're...not entirely off the trail. And I know that I've probably given it all away by now, but please bear with me and pretend to be surprised when I officially announce it.