A/n: Well, what can I say? Chapter five.

Hey, Homecoming didn't suck so bad! (but it was kinda annoying--I finally found a guy that I'd like to slow-dance with and then they didn't play another slow song. They always play them too much except when I want them to play one.) So, no depression? I hope not. Depression is depressing and that gets really annoying, that.

And uh...last time? When I was talking about that Ren-is-just-stupidly-Mary-Sue-and-thus-realizes-that-Itachi-is-an-Uchiha-and-her-parent-and-that's-why-she-calls-herself-an-Uchiha thing? Yeah, well, uh I was very veryveryverycarefulinmyphrasingandyouguysdidn'trealizethatsoyoukindofassumedthingsthataren'tquitethetruthbutthat'sokaybecauseitiswhatIwantyoutothinkrightnow.

I think this is the shortest chapter that I've written yet. Word count puts it at two pages. It's but filler. At least it's not extensively long filler (I do have a chapter like that, and it's coming up)

Hm...I think I'm mastering the art of Author's-Notes-That-Aren't-As-Long-As-The-Chapter-Itself!

Disclaimer: The only person making money off of any of these characters is Masashi Kishimoto. He's not making any money off of Ren, though. I'd be the one doing that if only I was ambitious enough to try hard enough for that.

When Pein first awoke the next morning, everything seemed to be the same. A little warmer than the weatherman predicted, it seemed, but more or less the same. It wasn't until he yawned and rolled over the edge of the bed that he noticed anything different. He pulled himself up to become eye-level with the top of the bed, and found his nose only a few inches from another: a face with numerous scars, the most notable of which scratching down its left eye, short black hair messily arranged in a random pattern, eyes closed an in expression that may have been considered blissful if it had not been ruined by a gaping mouth trailing spittle all over Pein's favorite pillow.

Pein glared at this face, because it was all he could see of his owner, who was not only sleeping in his bed, but god damn it, this guy was drooling on his pillow. Whoever dared steal Pein's place in bed would suffer a very painful—…

It occurred to Pein that the face was familiar. He had only seen it in passing, on only a few occasions when he bothered to glance in a particular direction at a particular time of day, but he still eventually realized that Tobi had snuck into bed with him, and Pein grimaced. Apparently, that rumor of children climbing into bed with their parents was true, and did not have an age restriction.

Nor, it seemed to Pein as he stood up, did it have a restriction of numbers. From what he'd heard of parenting, a child may sometimes take a teddy bear with them wherever they slept, but this was rediculous—Tobi seemed to have dragged himself, a stuffed bear, a stuffed cat, a stuffed dog, his little girl—Ren or whatever her name was—and Itachi into Pein's bed, while Kai slept peacefully solitary on her own mattress.

Admittedly, Pein's bed was large enough that it would usually be considered a waste for only one person to sleep in, but this seemed rather ridiculous!

He was going to find some way to make up for this. Pein couldn't say he yet knew how, but he would very much ensure that Tobi learned that he was not going to hold a slumber party in his "father's" bed. Beginning to speculate, Pein realized what may be a good beginning to the lesson.

Pein proceeded to remove the stuffed animals. However, this became something of an issue when he reached for the bear, the one that wound up closest to the bottom and farthest from anyone at all, and yet a response met him; Itachi twitched noticeably and probably consciously, while Ren sat up abruptly. She sent Pein a neutral stare, made cold by instinct, until she realized what he was doing and turned her gaze to a glare, daring Pein to go on taking the bear.

Pein would not be intimidated by a ten-year-old. He would, however, be intimidated by her moving to awaken her…well, awakening Itachi, whatever role he played in her life. Because, honestly, that child was incredibly well-trained for her age, and Itachi was, well, Itachi. Pein's will would not bend for either, but if Ren convinced Itachi to side with her…Pein set the bear back on the bed, and Ren smiled at him as if to say, "I thought you'd understand."

Pein sighed. Again. 'Stupid chilren,' he cursed mentally as he walked out of the room in resignation, careful to close the door behind him.

A/n again: Bah. Filler. And maybe not as entertaining as it should be. Oh well. Next chapter is...oh, wait. That's filler too. Hm. I think I'll have to increase my posting rate lest I be posting in November--and I won't have time to post during NaNoWriMo. I'll have to think it through and calculate it before that's final.

...never mind. I'm going to do what I can to post the next chapter today. Screw it all, I'm just going to post when I have time.

Preview: Pein wouldn't have known that there were homeless cats in the area if Ren hadn't dragged one home (it's filler, and I'll be posting it really soon, so I feel very very little to no regret in saying it without tact)

Special: Tobi's face:
Come on, do you really think Tobi sleeps in his mask? He's not Kakashi! (really, way back in the beginning of the manga, one of the chapter illustrations was Kakashi sleeping with his mask on)
Although I do personally imagine him wearing that style of mask beneath the orange thing. I just don't think he's the kind of person to sleep in it.
I also believe that Pein would have been looking at the face of one incredibly battered and scarred and whatever else'd Obito Uchiha (no matter what the evidence, I just can't wrap my head around this whole Madara Uchiha thing, much less willingly accept it). However, Pein would not know him as Obito, because otherwise this whole time the thing would have been written, "Obito stared at him from across the table..." and at some point it would be mentioned that Pein was the only other one who knew he was actually Obito and everyone else called him Tobi because...well, just because.
However, it doesn't matter if he was Obito or not, because it so happens that the plot isn't relevant to Obito (unless Tobi is Obito, but in that case he won't be mentioned because he'll be Tobi), thus I was vague so people who really think that Tobi is Madara is Tobi is Madara no questions that's it the truth no exceptions end of story period (long title, but I'm sure there are people like that) won't be mad.