Chapter 2: Mittagsessen mit der Bewderschmitt's

Feliciano wasn't late! Well, if you think about it they had invited him for lunch, lunch involved food and an Italian is never, ever late for food. So really, it wasn't that impressive if you think about it. He was going to meet Ludwig's grandfather for the first time and he was both excited and terrified (he loved Ludwig but most Germans were scary!).

The traditional German home was nestled in a scenic story-book forest. Sunlight shone through the thick canopy of tall oak trees above the Italian. The sun's rays kind of looked like fairies. Arthur always went on about fairies. He was scary! What if he was lurking in the woods and silently cursing him? Romano was more superstitious than him but he was still kind of superstitious. Now he was going to die!

The auburn-haired man (or boy, depending on personal view of what it means to be a man) got his breathing under control. He had to be brave for Luddy! Pulling a string connected to a bell on top of the door, he tried to visualize his goal. The house was pretty cute though. Who knew? Maybe he'd be a cute little old man who wouldn't feed him English food, shoot him and through his body into the Rhine (although shooting him after making him eat Arthur's cooking would be kind of stupid seeing as he'd be dead already).

The suspense was killing him but finally, someone came to the door. It was...a dog? A really big, scary dog! It looked more like a wolf! Oh no! Ludwig and his grandfather were eaten by a wolf!

The Italian got ready to run for help when he heard the sound of someone barking orders in German. The 'wolf' retreated and Ludwig stood at the door to welcome him in. But Feliciano (who hadn't quite understood what had just happened) had ended up clinging to him and crying. "I'm so sorry about your nonno!"

"What?"

"He got eaten by that big scary wolf like in red riding hood!"

"That's just my dog."

Feliciano gave a wide grin of understanding. "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh."

After Feli took off his shoes they made their way to the kitchen. Inside, an older version of Ludwig with longer hair was chopping onions with a straight face like the total bad-ass he obviously was.

"You're early." Stated the stranger. It was more of an observation than a compliment or criticism. "I'm Ludwig's opa." The man made no effort to shake hands. Probably because they smelled like onions.

"Ve~I brought food!" The little Italian set a basket next to the older man. "Your hair's really pretty!" The onion-chopping bad-ass had no clue how to respond to that.

"Ve~ Can I braid it?"

The onion-chopping bad-ass knew exactly how to respond to that though. "No."

"Okay~"

Suddenly, Feliciano was knocked over by three large dogs. To everyone's surprise, the short man just giggled.

"Ve~ Puppies~" Each dog got a large amount of affectionate petting. "Are these all your dogs?"

The one who had scared him at the door moments ago now lay across the Italian. When he knew they were just dogs, they didn't scare him so much.

"Ja."

The old man, who was now at the sink washing his hands, cut in. "Ludwig begged me for them and now I am left to look after them."

"That's not my fault!" Snapped Ludwig defensively. "My landlord won't let me have a dog."

"Then buy your own home."

"I can't afford it right now." Said the grandson through gritted teeth, trying to keep his temper. "Besides, you left me with Gilbert."

"Fair enough," Sighed the older man. "You trained the dogs well anyway. Speaking of training, how are your attempts at training Gilbert?"

Ludwig breathed deeply before answering. "He's no longer peeing wherever he wants. I mean, none of the plants in my house have died in months so I think I'm making progress."

Lunch came in the form of wurst, grilled onions and potatoes. It wasn't the standard of food the Italian was used to but he'd purposely starved himself (for two hours) so he ate without complaint. The oldest German frowned. "You know Feliciano; I think I've seen you before."

"Maybe when I worked for Rodrich when I was younger! I was so small then, you probably thought I was a girl though since Elisa dressed me in dresses."

"I never visited them during that time frame." He wasn't going to question why his son's partner allowed himself to be a dress-up doll. "Do you attend collage with Ludwig?"

"Yep! But I'm in the art department so I don't get to see him during class."

"Good, less of a distraction." Said the long haired man simply. "Why did you do art?" 'Other than the fact an engineering teacher would probably kill themselves trying to explain anything to you' he thought to himself' ha, he was funny in his mind.

"I like art."

"It's not a very stable career."

"But it's fun!" Well, he'd kind of guessed his grandson would be the provider.

A long, awkward silence followed. Oddly enough, it was broken by Ludwig in a desperate attempt to get his grandfather to approve the Italian. "Feliciano can run very fast." Oh Ludwig, you conversationalist. Suddenly, he detected an 'awesome' presence in the room. Standing directly behind Ludwig was his brother." Gilbert, what are you doing here?!"

"Don't play dumb! You paid Rodrich to distract the awesome me for the day while you introduced Feli!" The Prussian hugged Feliciano. This was done partly because the pasta-lover was the cutest thing ever, but mostly to tick Ludwig off (he was, surprisingly the jealous type).Suddenly, very sad violin music started playing and the albino let sparkly shojo tears stream delicately down his face. "All I wanted was the approval of mein kleine bruder!"

"That's not nice Luddy!" Feliciano gasped, absolutely scandalized that his boyfriend would do such a thing.

"Yah," smirked the Prussian "that's not nice!"

"Fine." Grumbled the younger brother. "You can sit down."

Gilbert made a point of getting a chair from the other side of the kitchen and jamming it right between Feliciano's and Ludwig's, separating the two. "So, what were we talkin' 'bout Willis?"

"Feliciano runs really fast." Said the grandfather dryly.

Gilbert laughed. "We all know that! Haven't you seen him when Mr Kinkerland's walking around? But I have a more interesting topic of conversation."

Everyone turned to the Prussian accept for Ludwig who just gave his glass of milk the death-stare. "We could talk about Luddy!"

"Yay!" Squealed Feliciano.

"Westy was such a cute kid!" The Prussian gave a big TV smile and pinched his Ludwig's cheek. "I have a few pictures on my phone!" Gilbert took out the flip-up Nokia. (His iPhone had been involved in an incident involving maple syrup, a dare from Francis and a polar-bear.) Ludwig buried his head in his hands. "Nein bruder, bitte." He pleaded, knowing he couldn't stop the Prussian from getting what he wanted. "Bruder! I'll do anything!"

Their grandfather rolled his eyes. "Be a man Ludwig."

Gilbert sniggered. His opa never missed out on a chance to look at pictures of Ludwig when he was still cute and didn't look like he could kill people using a grape. He handed his Feliciano phone. The grandfather went to the other side of the table to look in. The Italian made a face of pure joy as he looked at a picture of little Ludwig sleeping cuddled up with puppy versions of his three dogs. "Awww! That's so cute I could just die!" he squealed.

Ludwig supposed this wasn't so bad. He let out a sigh of relief. So the Prussian had tricked his brother that was fine, pretty funny really. (Because Germans can have a sense of humour too!)

Next was a picture of Ludwig crying in a bath with his face covered in bits of potato. That Prussian fucker.

"Aw!" cooed Feliciano once again. "Look at you! I've never seen you cry before!"

Ludwig flushed with embarrassment as he watched the group laugh at the photo. He was feeling rather uncomfortable seeing as his vital regions were on show.

They went through the album in about twenty minutes. With school plays, crying because he had to go to military camp and other unmentionables Ludwig was just about ready to crawl in a hole and die. Well, at least it was over.

"I have to go to the bathroom." Gilbert excused himself before leaving.

Peace at last.

Feliciano decided to ask opa something. "Why did you send Luddy to military camps?"

Ludwig knew this was a touchy subject.

"Because I wanted him to become strong."

"Don't you think he may have wanted to do normal child-like activities instead of marching and folding socks and mud-wrestling and waking up at the crack of dawn?"

The Italian meant well, he really did, but this was a subject the family wouldn't tackle wearing all that gear American footballers wear but rugby players seem to do fine without. Ludwig knew he had to cause a distraction. He could use a shiny object like a spoon to distract Feliciano but that wouldn't work for his grandfather.

"The awesome me is back!" announced the Prussian.

Ludwig had never been so relieved to see his brother in his life. That was until he saw what his brother was carrying. A large green box. "Look guys! I found this under West's old bed! I tripped, his bedroom door was open and I basically fall right next to it. Like, sideways diagonal."

That was the lamest excuse any of them had ever heard. Even their air-headed guest didn't buy it.

"Ve~ What is it?" (Not buying it does not mean you're not curious.)

Their grandfather scowled at the Prussian. This was taking it too far.

"Please return that. You had no right to go snooping. "He made a mental note to go snoop himself later although he already had a clue as to what it was.

"Fine."

However, the Prussian didn't see the dog resting under his legs and ended up tripping. He onto the table and the contents of the box spilled all over the kitchen.

Dirty magazines littered their surroundings. Ludwig covered his boyfriend's eyes. "Pick them up!" He hissed at his brother.

The strict German was a brilliant shade of red. His grandfather seemed only slightly embarrassed about his grandson's...possessions. The Prussian cleared them away as fast as he could. And a confused Italian was crying because he thought ghosts had turned out the lights.

Once all the magazines were cleared up and put in their proper place, Feliciano was allowed to see again.

The Prussian broke the ice. "So Feli, what do you see in my brother?"

"He's smart, shy, sweet, brave, caring, and has a huge-"

Ludwig jabbed him. "That's inappropriate."

"I don't think a huge ability to make me feel safe and loved is inappropriate Luddy! Stop putting yourself down!"

Gilbert laughed and opa cracked a smile. A SMILE! THE ONION-CUTTING BAD-ASS SMILED! THE APOCALYPSE IS UPON US! No, just kidding. He's just laughing because Ludwig's mind was in the gutter. Again.

"If anything," sighed the Feliciano, taking a hold of Ludwig's hand (which was totes awks seeing as how Prussia was between the two). "I don't know what he sees in me, I'm pretty useless."

Ludwig wanted to make him feel better. So he did. The Ludwig way! "I will draw up a list. It may take several working days to get to your home. By "the Ludwig way" I mean the being-an-awkward-mofo-way.

Gilbert banged his head off the table. "You're not an unawesome high schooler! Gah! Why don't you just-"

"Gilbert." Snapped knowing something inappropriate was to come.

"So-rry! You're always telling me I should give my little bruder advice, and when I do, you criticize me."

"Some advice is just not yours to give!"

"Fine." Sighed the Prussian. "He's just not ready for my awesome wisdom."

"Ve~ Gilly's so smart!" Smiled Feli.

"See?! Someone appreciates my genius!"

"You flunked out of jam-making." Grumbled Ludwig before slowly repeating. "JAM. MAKING."

"Jamaican me crazy."

"What?"

"I got a C in creative writing. See my genius play on words?"

"You didn't invent Jamaican me crazy! No wonder you can only get good grades when you cheat! And you don't see a play on words!"

Feliciano was now using the table as a verbal-abuse bomb-shelter.

"Let's not make the night about grades." Sighed the onion killer. Wow, he never thought he'd say that.

The Italian felt something under his foot so he went to pick it up. "Hey Luddy, I think you missed one."

There he was: sweet, innocent little Feli, holding one of the strangest and dirtiest magazines in his boyfriend's collection. And he didn't seem to give a single flying fudge-muffin. "So this is what was in the box?"

Ludwig was a brilliant shade of tomato red but Feli just carried on as normal.

Ludwig's grandfather then decided he liked Feliciano. He was... accepting.

When Feli got home (Ludwig's house) him and Ludwig sat on the couch watching "The Fox and the Hound" (don't you judge them).

"I think the visit went pretty well." Smiled Feliciano.

"I think so too."

"Hey, what's your grandfather's name? He never mentioned it."

"Aldrich." Replied the blonde automatically.

"I recognized that name!" Smiled Feliciano, clapping his hands excitedly. "He was my nonno's friend!"

"Really?!" The German could not imagine the two being friends. Actually, did his opa have any friends?

"Yah! There's a picture of him somewhere in our house, just younger! That's where I saw him! My nonno is always going on about how he was such a stick in the mud! Well, he said he had a stick planted up a certain body-part but in the mud is just as good."

Ludwig would have stepped in to defend his grandfather but it was kind of true, it is said he was the source of Ludwig's own stick-in-the-mudness.

Feliciano grinned like a Cheshire cat. "I have an idea!"

Usually, when Feliciano had an idea it was a very dangerous thing for anyone in a five-mile radius.

"Ja?"

"I think us, our brothers and our nonno's should all go out for a picnic. This way, they'll all know each-other!"

Well, they'd have to meet each other eventually.

End of Part II

A/N: What did I just write? I really like to torture Ludwig. He's one of my favourite characters actually, maybe that's why.

Next chapter will be interesting. (Hopefully).

Review lest your womb and/or chest hair shrivel up and die!

~C