Chapter 3: Omake/bonus chapter

It was a really beautiful day outside. The sun shone, the birds sang and the Italians actually wore some clothes for once. Well, Feliciano had anyway. Ludwig couldn't be sure about the rest of his the Italians. Although they seemed more 'decent' than the younger Vergas grandson they had a habit of surprising him.

Lying across his lap was Feliciano who, per usual, was taking a 'siesta'. Letting the art student take a nap was the only way to stop him from eating all the food before their respective families got there. Well, short of playing soccer but the German didn't want to leave a bad impression on them by being sweaty or something.

Speak of the devil, Romano and Roman arrived on the scene with the biggest picnic basket Ludwig had ever seen. He'd already allocated the amount of food to each person by weight dammit! What part of "we have enough food" do Italians never seem to understand?

"The kraut's here and Feli's asleep! Do something! He's going to steal my fratellion's purity!"

"No he's not!" smiled the elder.

"You don't know that! I don't trust him!"

"Calm down."

"Oh fucking great...more schnitzel-salesman..."

Aldrich and Gilbert made their way up the small hill, Gilbert carrying an umbrella in his hand (the sun is the natural enemy of the albino). The elder German made a face of surprise, breaking his usual 'onion-chopping-bad-asses-have-no-emotions' expression. "...Roman?"

"Oh, look, if it isn't Legolas!" Suddenly the German was glomped by the Italian nonno. "I haven't seen you since the army!"

"Ja...Please let me go."

"But you might leave me again, old friend!"

"I won't! Just let me go!"

"Will somebody tell me what the fuck is going on?!" Screamed Roman's darker-haired grandson.

Roman turned to him. "Well, Aldi here and I were besties since we were teenagers!"

"Let me go you bloody door-mouse-eater!" Came a muffled voice from Roman's chest. The Italian obeyed.

"Ve~ Our granddads were best friends! That's so cool, isn't it Luddy?" Smiled Feliciano who'd been woken up by all the commotion.

"I suppose." The blonde was very weary of this new development.

The six were all given set portions by Ludwig. The six were all given ridiculous amounts of extra food by Roman. It was pretty good too. Feliciano had made sandwiches, fruit salad and normal salad. It was a pretty light meal, but in Italy lunch is usually a light meal so Ludwig didn't feel that a visit to the doctor was necessary. On the other hand, the other Italians had made enough to feed an army. Some sort of fish pasta because it was a Friday and they were Catholic.

Roman, who was a dinner-party/picnic/most other things expert initiated the conversation. "Oh gods! Legolas hasn't changed a bit since he was fourteen!" He poked his friend's cheek with a fork. "Accept all the wrinkles."

"Sorry for not having a two-hour beauty regime." Said the Aryan sarcastically.

"That's not what I meant!" Aldrich received an unwanted apology hug. "I just mean that you act the exact same as the day I met you!"

"How so?"

All the grandchildren were slightly curious about what their grandfathers were like in their youth (although the Italians had already heard many stories) and listened attentively. "Okay. We were roommates in boarding school," Roman began "and every weekend when I woke up, he'd be at his desk, studying for like, four hours!"

"That's too fucking long! What is it with you study-crazy German bastards?!" Romano was appalled. "That's sick. You are a sick bastard."

"I don't see anything odd about that." Said Ludwig casually.

"Holy shit he's like your clone!" Gasped Roman in shock and horror before holding his future grandson-in-law's face. "You've brainwashed your grandson!"

"He has not!"

Roman broke off the argument "Let's just agree: Germans be crazy." and let go of the poor man's face.

The families were now discussing food when the awesome Prussian pocked the irritable Italian.

"Psssssst, Romanoooo."

"What is it albino-bastard?"

"Do you wanna leave?"

"For where?" Asked Romano, desperate to get away from this crap but still untrusting of anyone the slightest bit Germanic.

"Stall, other side of the park. They serve alcohol."

"I knew it, all krauts're alcoholics!" he said in a tone that would make you think he just figured out time-travel. (Surprisingly, no one heard him. Like a soliloquy.) "And what makes you think I'll go with you?"

"They sell Prosecco."

"I'm listening."

The albino got up. "As the brothers of the happy couple, we have to discuss happy brother-in-law stuff."

The rest of the people let them go, too stupid, too lazy or too distracted to point out everything that was wrong and unnatural about that statement.

"When're you two going to move in together?" inquired the Italian grandfather who always seemed to be really interested in where their relationship was going. "I mean, Feli practically lives with you already."

"I want to wait until I have my own home."

"And until we're married!" Smiled Feliciano.

"Yes, exactly. But the Catholic Church won't allow us to get married so we'll just have to be satisfied with a legal document." Pointed out Ludwig.

"Ludwig, you're not Catholic." Stated his grandfather. "You're protestant."

"WHAT?!" Roman was scandalized.

"You can't say anything; you were pagan when I met you."

"Yes, but that was just teenage rebellion!"

"Ludwig?! Were you going to convert into that corrupt system people call a church?!"

"No! But I think Feli-"

Roman interrupted them. "I think he should conver-"

"STOP TRYING TO CONVERT MY GRANDSON!"

"WELL, MAYBE IF YOU WEREN'T HEATHENISH WRETCHES I COULD!"

Feliciano then dragged the younger German away.

"Where are we going?" Asked the dragged.

"It looks like a serious argument. So we have to leave until it blows over!"

Typical Feliciano. Running away. However, maybe he wasn't totally wrong. After all, he'd seen how violent Arthur's catholic vs protestant debates got, and that's when he was having them with himself!

The two grandfathers were left alone now. "I guess we drove them away." Roman pointed out sadly, noticing they were alone.

"Probably for the best."

"Maybe Feli's converting him to the path of righteousness and we just don't know it."

Aldrich frowned. "I never saw you as the religious type."

"Why?"

"Well, you did spend ninety-per-cent of the time talking about women, drinking and fighting."

"Oh yah!" Smiled Roman. "That reminds me, I was drunk, fighting with this guy and his sister came up to me after I'd beat him up and we-"

"NOT THIS AGAIN!"

"So albino-bastard, you just drink it all at once?"

"Yep." Gilbert handed Romano a shot-glass filled with vodka. Why people sold vodka during the day in a park filled with young children neither of them could quite fathom.

Romano swung it all back in one go but spat it out almost immediately, making a face. "What the fu-"

"Now, now language."

"Go fuck yourself."

Gilbert's plan to get Romano drunk for the amusement of everyone present had failed. So he went for plan B, start a conversation. "So what's with you and Antonio?"

"What do you mean, bastard?"

"Well, you're around him allot are you two together?"

Romano was disgusted at the suggestion. "Fuck no!"

"Why're you two always together then?"

"He was my fucking baby-sitter for years and years! Since I was like, three! I'm pretty sure the tomato-bastard could go to jail for something like that!"

The Prussian frowned and then opened his eyes wide in realization. "No friggin' way! You were that little girl, Lovi!"

Romano cringed at his old nickname. "So?!"

The Prussian burst out laughing. "Oh my god! I remember we were like, thirteen when he started babysitting you!"

"Shut up!"

"The first time I saw you, you started attacking me because you thought it was a home-invasion or somethin'! Do you remember?"

Of course he remembered. He recognized the Prussian from the moment he'd met him. He mentally kicked himself for letting it slip that Antonio was his babysitter.

"You were such a cute kid! What happened?"

"Shut up."

The awesome Prussian went with plan C. This was like plan A but with more glasses and lighter alcohol.

"Hey, Luddy?" A small head rested on the German's shoulder. "Why don't we get a cat? I think cats are allowed in your apartment. I know a Greek philosophy student who's trying to re-house fifty-six cats by the end of the semester!"

"Is that Hercules?"

"Yah, how'd you know him?"

"He's Kiku's friend."

"Why didn't he introduce me?" Feliciano now wore an expression of absolute sadness and rejection.

"I just met the two of them by coincidence." He assured the Italian who was now crying, saying something about Japan turning on the axis to form a Greek alliance although Greece was unofficially with the axis and lost a tenth of its population in the war and this made no sense and something about Arthur and mint. "I was working some shifts in the cinema and they were going in to watch a movie."

"Okay." Feliciano had gone back to normal. "So about the cat?"

"Cats hate me."

"Maybe you smell like dog?" Suggested Feliciano.

"What did you say?" Ludwig pretended to be offended.

"I didn't mean it! We don't have to get a cat! Cats are just meanies! They're just jealous of your cuckoo clocks! I love you! Don't be upset!" The smaller one was now clinging to him.

"I was joking." He smiled a little before letting it drop. "But still no cats."

"I don't like the name Ludwig." Finally, Roman spoke about something other than women, fighting and alcohol. "It sounds too much like earwig. And Gilbert just sounds lame."

"That was pretty friggin' rude."

"But true."

"Well...Feliciano is a stupid name and Romano is just your name with an O in the end!"

"Feliciano comes from feliche which means happy! At least my grandson is happy and doesn't have a stick firmly planted up his ass!"

"At least my grandson can get a proper degree!"

"At least my grandsons look out for each-other!"

"Mine can watch their language!"

"Gilbert told Elisaveta to eat his crotch-cloth!"

"Let's stop fighting," Sighed the German. "It would upset both our grandsons."

Roman looked down in shame. "You're right, I'm sorry."

Feliciano and Ludwig joined their grandfathers, oblivious to the fight they had just had. Romano and Gilbert wouldn't join them until two hours later, drunk as skunks and leaning on each-other singing an obscene song by Lilly Allen.

Feliciano blew out his candles. He was surrounded by friends and family and food. The Italian had wished for nothing more than for all present to never leave his life.

But he was about to get another surprise. In a white box, labelled "Roma" was a small tabby-cat. Instant bond. Instant connection. Instant overruling of anything a certain German had ever said.

Two hours later, Ludwig sported several claw-marks on his face. "Roman, why did you buy him a cat?" Moaned the German as he cleaned up after the festivities.

"I didn't."

On the other side of the crowded room another member of the Vergas clan gave Ludwig the finger. "Up yours kraut!"

It was times like this Ludwig really felt like one of the family.

End of part III

THE

END

A/N: If the following story has left you with requests, prompts, ideas or suggestions please feel free to say so via review.

Also, if it has left you with any negative side-effects don't you even try to sue me because I have no money and I'll reverse the whole situation like the ninja-lawyer-super-sayan I obviously am!

Also, tell me everything I did wrong!