Chapter 1
Since Gus's death four months ago nothing is the same. Some might think that since we were only together three months, why not just move on? Get back to live as you knew it? Well the answer to that is simple. Gus and I didn't break up. He died. This wasn't a choice, or a decision. What we had was completely total and inevitable love and I believe we would have been together for a long time if life hadn't gotten in the way. Now no matter what I do, I imagine how much better it would be if Gus were here doing it with me. I'm okay. Maybe I'm not.
I'm lying on the couch in the TV room when I hear a knock on the door. "I'll get it!" my mother shouts from the kitchen. I crane my neck around the wall to see who it is, and I smile when I discover its Isaac. My mom exchanges a quick greeting with him, then guides him to where I lie on the murky brown couch that my parents have had since they bought their first apartment. "Hey Isaac." I say sitting up to leave room next to me. "Hey" For a few minutes we sit there in silence, listening to my mom bustle around in the kitchen. "Do you want to watch…listen to a movie?" I sense him tense beside me and immediately feel bad for making him feel like a minority. "Sorry." The corners of his mouth go up and I look at him quizzically. "It's fine. That's just what Gus would always say. Not let's watch a movie, but let's listen to a movie. Every time when the movie was over, he told me he closed his eyes because we were listening to a movie, not watching one." I laugh, and allow myself to remember that first day I ever saw Gus, when he asked me to watch, not listen, to a movie at his house. It was V for Vendetta. He said I reminded him of a millennial Natalie Portman. Although I'm really not pretty enough for that kind of comparison, I was flattered. I walk over to the movie cabinet and select the Matrix from our collection, remembering that it was Isaac's favorite movie. My mom brings us popcorn and I guide Isaac's hand into the bowl. "Isaac?" I say leaning my head against his shoulder. "What's up?" A single tear slides down my cheek. "I'm sorry about Gus." He puts his arm around me and we just sit there eating popcorn and listening to the movie(Me with my eyes closed) after a while he whispers. "Me too."