Chapter 10

Hazel

A couple of weeks later, some cousins and aunts and uncles fly in from New York to see us for a couple of days. I'm in my room reading when my mom gets home with them. They all come in to hug me, and my aunt cries and my older cousin Sarah does too, and then I kind of update them on my health and life and everything and then my mom makes them leave so she can give me my medication.
"Why did they have to come here?" I ask swallowing the eight pills I have to take four times a day, five on bad days.
"Because they love you and they want to see you." She says handing me water.
"Because I'm dying" I say matter-of-factly. She doesn't say anything and I can tell she doesn't have anything to say.
"I hate been smothered." She smiles.
"Dinner in half an hour" she says, and then she leaves me alone again.

My mother made vegetarian lasagna for dinner, one of my favorites, but I was feeling rather nauseous so I didn't eat much. My family is trying their best to make small talk with me, but I don't make it easy. It went kind of like this:

Aunt Josie: So Hazel, have you been reading any great books lately?

Me: I haven't really had the energy to read…but when I do I just re read the same book over and over again.

Aunt Josie: That's nice! What book would that be?

Me: An Imperial Affliction

And then I really didn't want to talk about it because it wasn't aunt Josie's book, it was mine and Gus's, so I didn't say anything else, and she started talking to my parents about this and that and I just sat there picking at my food when my phone rang. I stand to get it but my mom stops me.
"It's dinner time Hazel, sit back down."
"But it could be important!"
"Whatever it is you can find out after dinner!" I sit back down, and I get asked more questions I don't want to answer and finally everyone finishes and my mother allows me to check my phone. There are six missed calls from Isaac, so I go into my room to call him back.
"Hey, what's up?" I said after a few rings.
"It's Kate, something's wrong, she in the ICU."
"Wait what? What happened?"
"She started coughing up blood at dinner then she turned a concerning shade of yellow and passed out, her parents rushed her to emergency." I put my hand over the mouth.
"Oh god, is the baby…"
"I don't know" he says, interrupting me.
"They won't let me in, immediate family only, so…I don't know anything." I sigh.
"I'm so sorry Isaac, I really wish I could come down there and be with you, I really do, I'm so sorry."
"It's okay, Hazel, It's not your fault. I'll let you know if I hear anything." I say goodbye then hang up.

I tell my mom about Kate and she says she wished we could go be there for them and I say I do to, and then I really start hating my cancer ruined body and my illness and the world and everything, and my mom tells everyone I'm tired and that I need sleep, so I just sit in my bed and watch videos on my laptop for a while. My neck starts to hurt so I take some meds for the pain and they make me sleepy so I decide to turn off the light, but even with the meds, I can't will my body to fall asleep. So I just lay there and the next morning I get sick, and my parents want to take to the hospital but I tell them I'm okay. Isaac called and told me that Kate was still unconscious but there was no news on her health.