Chapter 16

Hazel

Unfortunately, things just went down from there. When I went to my next MRI, I discovered that the cancer had spread. When you're young, you always imagine what you're going to do in the future. You're job, if you'll have kids, or a husband, that's just what we do. But no one ever thinks, that they'll only make it to seventeen, no one thinks that they won't have a future, but death is staring me in the face, there's nothing more anyone can do.

"Sweetie, are you okay?" my mom asks me. Her face is puffy as we drive back from the hospital. She's been crying. I can't really imagine my parents without me, I guess when you're a parent, you imagine a future for your kids, but like us, they never think that their kid will bite it at seventeen. The world is not a wish-granting factory I suppose.
"I'm fine mom." I say, leaning my head against the car window. I don't cry, I'm all cried out at this point.
"Sweetie I…"
"Mom, don't. Just don't." She nods and we spend the rest of the ride home in silence.

That night I can't fall asleep, so I lay awake and watch the glow in the dark stars on my ceiling, and think about all I've done in the time I've had.
Eventually, my father comes home from my work and I hear my mom telling my dad about our hospital trip:
Mom: Everywhere Michael, its spread all over her body. I can't lose her, she's my baby, she doesn't deserve this, and no one does. It's so goddamed unfair.
Dad: Honey, I can't imagine how hard this will be either, but we have to be strong for her, we have to-"
And then he broke down, and all I heard was the dimmed sound of my parents crying, until eventually I fall asleep.

Isaac

"Kate?" I pick up the phone when I see her on caller ID.
"Isaac, it's time. The baby is coming; me and my mom are on our way to the hospital." I leap out of bed and down the hallway to my parent's room.
"Okay, I'm on my way. I love you." She hangs up and I open the door to my parents' bedroom.
"Mom, dad, Kate went into labor, they're on the way to the hospital, we have to go." My mom gets up and runs over to the dresser.
"Are you coming Tom?" My mom asks my dad. He nods and joins her, trying to find something to wear.
"Of course I am, she's my granddaughter." I smile and rush them out of the room. My dad takes my arm and guides me into the car and we drive away, towards the hospital and Kate.

"Hi, were looking for Kate Hemmings? She is having a baby?" The receptionist types quickly into her computer.
"Are you family?" She asks my mom.
"Yes, I'm the father." I say before my mom had a chance. She gives us direction and we rush down the hallways towards Kate's room. When we arrive, Kate's mom runs towards us and hugs me.
"You ready?" I nod.
"Hey babe" Kate says when I'm sitting down on her bed. I reach down and find her lips.
"How are you doing?" I ask her.
"I'm okay; the contractions are a few minutes apart." She stops there, and I hear her moan.
"Mom!" I hear shuffling and then her mom is taking my place next to her.
"It's okay, it's okay." I'm guessing I just experienced a contraction.
"Their getting closer apart, it'll be soon." Her mom says,
"Do you want me to go find a doctor?" My mom asks and Kate's mom agrees.

When my mom comes back into the room, she's quiet. The doctor asks me to step away so he can examine Kate, and then my mom pulls me outside.
"What is it? Is there something wrong with Kate."
"No no, um Isaac" She sighs.
"Mom!"
"Okay, when I went to get the doctor, I heard the doctors talking, and then I saw Hazel. She was getting rushed away on the stretcher. I caught her parents, it doesn't look good Isaac."
"SHIT" I yell, at which point I hear Kate scream.
"I can't just leave Kate! But I can't, I can't not be with her."
"Sweetie, I know you'll figure out the right thing to do. I trust you." I push back into Kate's room and she screams for me.
"I'm here; I'm here, it's okay."

It was definitely not okay. What was I going to do?

Hazel

Over the years, I've felt pain. Terrible pain that most people will probably never have to experience, but the pain I'm in now, as I'm rushes down the hallways of the hospital, is unexplainable. I've never experienced anything like this is my life. It feels as if my body is caving in on itself, slowing crushing my organs, and bones, until there's nothing left. I scream, and hold my head between my knees, tears flowing steadily. My mom grabs my hand.
"Honey, hold on, please. It's going to be fine." I squeeze her hand so hard I'm surprised she's keeping quiet.
"It hurts!" I sob and I see my mom break down into tears.
"I'm so sorry honey; I hoped I would never have to see you in pain, all I ever wanted was for you to be healthy. I'm so so sorry." I'm rolled onto a bed in the ICU, an oxygen mask is pressed to my face and soon, the meds start working, easing the pain.
"Hazel, these meds are going to make you go to sleep for a bit, okay?" I nod.
"Can you count back from ten with me please?" I nod and start conting.
"Ten…Nine…Eight…se….ven…si..x…"
Five
Four
Three
Two
One