Chapter 5 : Wish , hope , blessings and love

Author notes : Hey guys, it's my holidays now so I get to have some time to sit down and write this story .Random Jack , hahaha , don't worry . I promise I will continue this story , though it may take a while. Thanks btw for reading my other fanfic of Rex Stewart. The show must go on.

Missions were all that was on her mind these past days. She avoided all possible contact with John Stewart and did not attend any founding members meeting. Reality was kicking in and she didn't like the truth. She needs space and some time to properly digest the whole scenario and ultimately accept it.

When she does, there's still nothing she can still possibly live for.

Angered , she slams into atomic skull , knocking him unconscious. Villains were her punching bags and soothe her down a little in the inside. It's only two days and it feels unbearable. Her teammates always chat about the upcoming wedding and the engagement party that was going to be held soon in the watch tower. There's also a private one , specifically for the 7 of them and Mari only.

She felt sick at the thought of seeing John and Mari together, holding hands , sipping champagne and telling all of them of how they met and ended up together. Not that she doesn't know how it started.

J'onn and Wally were the ones who actually seemed to worry about her . She stayed at Wally's apartment lately,(it was Wally's idea) because the watch tower were crawling with staffs and leaguers . Shayera became the recent hot topic , some claimed she might poison Mari or even try to seduce John back. Once the missions were completed she would fly straight back to Wally's place, her sanctuary and block out all the horrible rumors that were surfacing.

Things just get worse and worse … she thought bitterly.

Tired, she glances around Wally's apartment. It was a contrast to John's, with all his dirty laundry lying around , fast food stock piled in the refrigerator and stacks of CDs by the TV. There were posters of he himself smiling and that advertisement of him holding a light speed bar was still there pinned to the wall. John was a neat-nick and Wally was a mess-maker.

She tried to cleaned things up a bit here, even help him washed his dirty laundry. By golly , she found lots of things hidden underneath his pile of stuff. Now his laundry was in the washer at the shop below and Shayera continued her hast on cleaning up his place to make herself more useful.

Only Wally sees herself as a useful person nowadays.

So far , she managed to scrub off some stale milkshake off the carpet, carefully repacked foods left in the refrigerator and placed in some she bought in earlier. She even cleaned his toilet and took out tons of trash he left behind.

The last bit left was that mountain high CD pile by the TV. By Golly did he have many movies and albums. Sitting herself comfortably down , she started sorting them out by genres. Horror, comedy , romance … Wally sure did have a huge array of good movies.

Then, she came along something which caught her attention.

Shayera stop what she was doing and looked at the photo in her hand and a small smile formed on her face.

It was a picture of her , John and Wally , taken at this very apartment. She and John wanted to check up on the kid , but ended up watching a movie instead. They look so , so normal. John was seated at the couch and so was she and Wally stood up at the back wearing his biggest grin . She still had her mask on.

Shayera often wondered if she could ever turned back the clock and be that old her again . Without all the lies , cover-ups and secrets, would things still be the same? Would she still be Hawkgirl and not Shayera? Would they have preferred the old her instead?

People often argued that Hawkgirl was Shayera and Shayera was Hawkgirl. But to her herself , they were two complete persons.

Hawkgirl was aggressive and impulsive , short tempered and brutal. Her main goal is to right the unjust and whatever those bad guys did, deserve neither a second thought nor chance. What they deserve was a slam to the head with her mace. She was stubborn , strong and fierce , like a hawk waiting for its prey. Hawkgirl was a lie , she was a lie.

But Shayera …

Shayera was different. She was tough and ever-enduring. Secretly sweet but carefully concealed. Skillful and determined and very well reserved .She has empathy and often thought of others before her. Her duty , is to make the world a better place , giving others a chance to live a war-free life unlike her. She carries the mace as a sense of heroism and pride. Shayera is neither a soldier nor a lie. Shayera was more human than ever .

But most important off all , this woman knows what it is like to love.

She wasn't perfect, that's for sure , but it is the real her , the real deal. She loves being Shayera .

Sadly before she had the opportunity to show them all her true self, her reputation was trash and hey only reckoned her as Hawkgirl.

She has been thinking a lot lately , about what Wally had said.

If you love someone , then you will be happy if they find happiness too …

Perhaps Wally was right , I should give John and Mari my, what is it called again? Blessings…

She looked at the photograph and hugged it tightly .

John,

I want you to be happy, no matter what it would cost me, for you are the most important thing in my life. But if you really do love Mari, then I offer you my blessings because I love you.

Wally wouldn't be home for a few hours, so she quickly stacks up the CDs ,grab her coat and headed towards Detroit.

The evening was young and kids ran like crazy in the park. The ice-cream truck was parked at one side and working people called it a day and went home to their loved ones, except for a special green-eyed man who sat on one bench , waiting for the sunset.

Oddly enough, sunsets gave him a weird sense of nostalgia . Today, he felt like he definitely needs an extra dose of it.

John wanted to escape from all the happy all smiles , the congratulators , the planning and the drama . It has barely been a week and people are talking non-stop about him. The soon to be married guy and his beautiful wife. He sighed at the thought .

He also wanted to escape from Mari. Man, was she crazy about weddings. She wanted to invite lots of her pixie sticks friends and the press. God, no, marriage was a sacred thing and he didn't want the entire world to be thinking about it. And she wanted to marry at someplace "romantic"!

What's wrong with a humble church with humble people?

John closed his eyes and wondered if all married men let their wives decide what was going to happened in their weddings. Perhaps so. But if it makes Mari happy, he will just go with whatever she wants. Marriage is just a piece of paper, right?

He sat up , clearly frustrated and filled with conflicting thoughts. He hadn't been able to talk to Shayera for days and he wondered if she was ok.

Of course not, you chose someone over her.

He heard the stupid rumors that were spreading like wild fires in the tower. How she was going to assassinate Mari or try to do something to win him back. To an extent , she needed to move away to escape from all the looks and extra glares she's been given lately. This is my entire fault.

In truth. He was dead worried about her. Who would take care of her once he was married to Mari? She wasn't welcome anywhere on Earth and bounty hunters are looking for her. He wouldn't trust any guy to go out with her. He wouldn't want any pervert or stalker getting their filthy hands on her. Wally can't be there forever. That kid will marry one day soon and where will she be?

Alone.

That word was enough to send shivers down his spine.

He could only pray and hoped that she will meet the right guy that he approved of, who will love her as much as he does.

Perhaps you are talking about yourself… the tiny voice in his head speak out.

Up until now , he wasn't so sure if he made the right choice, freeing Shayera from his life and bounding it to Mari. He was downright scared and he couldn't really pin point why. John took out a piece of paper from his hand.

It was an invitation card to his engagement party and Shayera's name was on it.

He had given all of the invites out, safe for hers. John wasn't sure how she will react, he really didn't want to know. But he wished that she will be there. At least , to confirmed that she is ok with all of this, to let him know that she will be fine for the rest of her life. Without him.

In a few more months, he will be married and he can do nothing for her anymore. Letting her go was so hard and painful.

He looked towards the sun, which was now setting down. He closed his eyes and wished a wish.

Please let her be alright, she's a good woman and very , very important to me. Let her live her life well for she deserves that much. I pray that , because… because…. I love her.