SISTERS

Elena POV:

Some days I feel like dying inside. There's really no other way to explain it. I guess you could say my life has always been sucky, even before the accident. When mom and dad died, I felt numb, as if my body had just been frozen at absolute zero.

I admit, at first I blamed my sister; Ariana. It wasn't hard to blame her, I mean, at the time, I kinda resented her. I still do. Everyone looks her way, even when we're both in the same room. People are drawn to her like moths to light. She's the center of the universe, while I'm just... just an obstacle, a speck of dirt in an otherwise perfect little world.

Of course, no one would understand my view. They all loved Ariana, worshipped her, you may say. Boys flock to her, while girls wish to be her. It could be funny, if not for the fact that I am her twin sister - who looks almost identical to her - but no one pays me any attention. She's the perfect girl, the one whom everyone adores, and I'm just the bitchy sister, who's lost all her friends.

I used to be in the "bitch-pack", as I like to secretly call it. I had friends: Caroline, Bonnie... Ariana. But, then I realized that the only reason people hung around me, was to get close to Ariana. The pain of the truth always hit me like a brick wall, stunning me into oblivion. One day I... I ... just snapped! I didn't care about cheerleading, still don't, but the way Caroline compared me to Ariana like that... like I was nothing? That wasn't cool. I overreacted, but I don't regret it, because she deserved it. I kinda feel sorry for her, since the only reason Matt's with her is as a distraction from Ariana. Sucks to be her.

Then there's the perfect boyfriend for the perfect girl: Stefan. Now, Stefan is hot, obviously. When I first saw him, all that went through my mind was that I wanted him. I didn't want Ariana to have him, since I'm not surprised if there are millions of guys wishing to have her on his arm. But nooo, Stefan went straight to Ariana, and fell head over heels in love. Now they were lovebirds in their own fairytale. I wish I can say that I'm happy for her, but... how can I be, when all I feel is this deep, burning, hatred?

If one boyfriend isn't enough, Ariana seems to have yet another gorgeous guy wrapped around her little finger. Guess who it is? Yep, Stefan's brother: Damon. Damn, now I didn't think it was possible for someone to be hotter than Stefan, I was wrong. Ha, and of course, like every other guy who's ever laid eyes on my "precious" sister, he instantly fell in love. Pathetic. What's even more annoying, is how Ariana doesn't even notice it, she's completely oblivious. That's the thing about me. I no longer spend time socializing with others, but since I don't draw attention to myself, I see, and hear, everything.

Well, almost everything. I know there's something they're hiding from me, something big. But, I'm not sure of what it is. I feel like there's a hole inside of me, inside of my mind, something missing. As if it's been ripped away from me. I'm always struggling to get ahold of it, but it slips from my grasp every time. I can't remember. But I want to. Jeremy's changed too, he's different now, more alert, kind, but lost; distracted. Do I seem that way? Well, definitely not kind, but lost? Distracted? A demon/zombie? I don't know. Nor do I want to. But something definitely weird is going on, and I'm determined to find out what.

Ariana may be a perfect, lovable, goody-twoshoes, but... at the end of the day... she's still my sister. I can't make up my mind on whether I love her, or hate her. I want to humiliate her, but at the same time, I want to protect her. Would I give my life to save her? Yes, in a heartbeat. Though I don't want to admit it, she's better than me. She's better than everyone and anyone. Let's just hope, I don't have to make the decision between her life, and mine.

So, this was a little something helios101 wanted me to post. It's something that Elena would be thinking at around this time, aka, her thoughts on Ariana, and the people who surround her. I wrote it in the present tense because I thought that it would be better, since past tense can get a bit repetitive.

This obviously isn't an episode, but Elena's thoughts for season 1. It was definitely fun to write, and I hope you guys liked it! I will continue to update the next episode in a few days. Thanks for reading! Please review!

-Spiralcloud