Author's Notes: I just want to give another heartfelt thanks to my reviewers! You guys are my inspiration and my encouragement. A Hagrid-sized thanks!

First Times, Second Chances

Chapter Seventeen: Dreams and Visions

Meri had watched Severus leave the room through a haze of pain and shock. A pang of hurt hit her as she felt he was abandoning her but then she focused on the faces around her and realized, he was still protecting himself. She barely registered Voldemort's request to Narcissa to take her up to her room. Meri reached blindly around her, searching for her robe. She didn't want them taking that. She felt the soft cloth come into contact with her hand and blinking blood and sweat out her eyes, she saw it was Pettigrew. She gathered her mind and looked him in the watery eyes, trying to figure out what he was thinking.

"Maybe she doesn't know yet…doesn't know I was secret keeper…" and Meri couldn't listen anymore. She swayed to her feet, feeling awfully light headed but followed the hem of the pale colored robes ahead of her. She managed to get up the wide stairs with only stopping twice and stumbled her way down a hallway. The hem of her burnt robe kept dragging on the floor, catching her feet up but she didn't have the energy to fix it. Narcissa stopped and a door opened. Meri didn't even look into the room before she stepped into it. As soon as she heard the door close, she collapsed on the plush carpet and welcomed blessed unconsciousness.

She felt as if she had slipped into the pensieve, that feeling of being someplace that you're really not physically present. As things slowly came into focus, she realized with a jolt that she was in Godric's Hollow. But judging from the four men sitting around the table, not her time's Godric Hollow but rather the one she had spent so much time in up until a few months ago. She tried to speak but nothing came out, all she could do was watch.

James was standing at the head of the table, Remus and Peter were seated beside each other and Sirius was sprawled out on the opposite side of the table. Peter had leaned over to Remus and was whispering something so Meri went closer to him to hear.

"How are the meetings going?" Peter was asking.

"Pretty well. For muggles they have a good sense about them."

"How long has it been since your last drink?"

Meri watched in wonder as Remus ticked off mental calculations in his head before finally answering, "Three months now."

Peter smiled and slapped him on the shoulder. "Good for you, mate."

"Yeah," Sirius spoke up, "I'm actually running out of things to make fun of you now."

"What a shame," Remus responded but Sirius smiled broadly and there was a hint of a grin on Remus' face. Meri's throat constricted; they were coming together finally as a strong knit group.

"Alright," James spoke up and pulled out a roll of parchment, placing it on the table. "Based on what Harry told Peter about the Horcruxes, we're looking for magical objects that a: Voldemort has an interest in, and b: were in the vicinity when a significant murder took place. Now, I've made a list of all the artifacts that Snape had me track down over the last few years because I have a feeling a few, if not all, ended up as Horcruxes."

"I have a question," Sirius spoke up. "Why would he be making Horcruxes now? Sure, we've been knocking off a Death Eater here and there but nothing significant."

"There's rumors of you gathering forces," a new voice spoke up. All four men pulled their wands and pointed it at the stranger. Meri found herself reaching for her wand but then realized it didn't matter if she had a wand or not. The stranger stepped forth and pulled back the hood of their cloak.

"Frank?" James said, lowering his wand. "Frank Longbottom?"

Sure enough, Meri realized, it was Frank. He looked thin, tired but very pleased to be standing there. He stepped aside and Alice appeared, smiling broadly. Sirius jumped up and pulled a couple more chairs up to the table but stopped as more people were filing into the small kitchen. Tonks appeared followed by Fred and George Weasley and their mother, who had her arm around a very nervous bushy haired girl.

"She's one of the only muggle born witches that we found," Molly Weasley said. "She's exceptionally gifted. Just," she gave the teenage girl a squeeze, "scared."

"But," the young witch said in a shaky voice, "but I want to help."

"How old are you?" James asked.

"Seventeen, sir."

"She's of age," Peter said. "It's her choice then."

Meri watched as the briefest flicker of grief passed across her brother's face. "You're more than welcome here…" he paused not knowing her name.

"Hermione Granger, sir."

James nodded and the newcomers all found places to sit around the kitchen, none of them taking the chance to add chairs magically. Meri felt a swell of hope rise in her chest as she watched the group of eleven people seated around the room, watching James intently as he explained a Horcrux and read off the list of the artifacts that he guessed were actual Horcruxes that needed to be destroyed. She watched as the group was divided up into teams that were to set out to search for particular Horcruxes. Remus and Peter were sent after Helga Hufflepuff's golden cup. Frank and Alice would search out Slytherin's locket. Sirius and Tonks would look for Ravenclaw's set of silver scales. Fred and George were assigned the location a ring with a crest in the center of the stone, James had even drawn out what the crest looked like from memory. That only left two Horcruxes from James' count, one of which they believed to be the giant sized snake that Voldemort had near his person at all times. Since they would have to face off with Voldemort himself to go after the snake the consensus was to leave the snake for last.

"So what's the last Horcrux?" Remus asked.

James took a deep breath. "Snape wore a silver ring on his pinky whenever I had the pleasure to see him. I never got a good look at it but I'm certain it's Lily's wedding band. I think that's the sixth Horcrux and that's the one I'm going after."

Meri watched as the scene slowly dissolved from her view and intense pain replaced the hope and joy she had felt. Her face felt on fire and she tried to move her head only to have it forced still. It felt as if someone was sitting on her chest. She whimpered and forced her eyes open. Severus was staring down at her with his black eyes, not quite as cold as she remembered them. Her surroundings were slowly coming into focus and she found that someone was sitting on her chest: Severus. She tilted her head back to see Narcissa was the one that was holding her head still.

"You were fighting me something fierce," Severus said, slowly climbing off of her and standing up. She was laid out flat on the floor and she closed her eyes in horrible disappointment. She didn't know if what she saw was an actual glimpse into the alternate time or just a wonderful dream of how she wanted it to be. The second guessing of the vision left an extreme bitter taste in her mouth.

Narcissa was trying to lift her off the floor by pushing up on her shoulder blades but the grief at the situation she found herself in kept her on the floor, nothing more than dead weight. After a few failed attempts to get her on her feet, Narcissa gave up and stood up as well.

"Get up."

Meri ignored Severus' order. He couldn't understand what she was feeling right now. Memory of the events of the duel came back to her slowly and she looked down at her left arm hoping it was all a dream. But the Dark Mark stared back at her from her own arm. She lifted her right hand and ran her fingertips over the slightly raised skin of the mark. She had spent most of her adult life fighting people who bore this mark and now she herself was branded with it. She started to run her fingertips over it again only this time she sunk her fingernails into her skin and scraped them down the hideous tattoo. The pain felt good to her so she did it again and again until she was clawing at her arm like a mad woman.

She was briefly aware of the startled gasp from Narcissa when Meri finally drew blood but Severus seemed oddly unaffected by the action and merely grabbed a hold of Meri's shirt and hefted her to her feet. The sudden movement broke her view of the Dark Mark and when he threw her into an armchair it was enough to jar her back to her senses. Her arm was stinging now from the superficial scratches. There was a dull ache to her face and she could feel the dried blood on her cheeks and forehead. She looked down and found her shirt completely bloodied and some splattering on it on her jeans.

"I need to finished the healing charm," Severus said.

"What are you doing?" Meri assaulted him with her mind. "Narcissa is still in the room, idiot!"

"She knows whose side I'm on. As long as I protect Draco throughout the war, my secret is safe with her."

"Are you sure?"

He physically heaved a sigh. "No."

"I'll return downstairs," Narcissa said. "What should I tell the Dark Lord?"

"Tell him I was tired and am resting," Severus answered.

Narcissa nodded curtly and quickly left the room. Meri looked up at Severus. "How bad is it?"

"Your face?"

"No," Meri shook her head. "I know my face is going to be hellish looking. I meant how badly is your cover blown?"

He frowned slightly. "I'm not sure yet. I know they expected me to be more aggressive towards you. There was some definite disappointment."

"Voldemort's going to know you came to see me, that you helped me."

"Possibly."

"Sev," Meri fixed him with a steady gaze, "I know the curse, but I'm not the one that knows the counter curse for sectumsempra."

He gave brief grimace before responding. "The Dark Lord wants you to return to the Ministry and suffer through the disgrace of being named his daughter and being marked with the Dark Mark. I can safely assume he wants you to look somewhat presentable."

Meri nodded her head thoughtfully. "You really do think of everything, don't you?"

"How do you think I've stayed alive all these years?"

Meri slouched down in the chair. "I'm tired."

"Then I suggest sleeping."

"Are you crazy? I'm not falling asleep in a house filled with Death Eaters and Lord Voldemort. What do you think I am, suicidal?" She noticed his dark eyes glinted strangely and she wondered what he was thinking but once again, his mind was shut. After giving her a hard look, he finally spoke.

"It will be safe to sleep tonight, I promise."

Meri still felt skeptical about that, caught between her instinct of survival and her wanting to trust Severus. It must have showed on her face, for she too had closed her mind. Severus motioned across the room.

"Go get cleaned up and get some sleep. I'll stay in here if it'll make you feel better. Everyone will think I just want to keep an eye on you to make sure you don't try to escape or…" he paused, "hurt yourself."

She suddenly had a sense he knew exactly what had happened in her sixth year although everyone thought she was just sick for a few weeks when she was really recovering from her botched poisoning attempt. The only people that knew the truth were all dead now. Except for Dumbledore's portrait. "He told you?"

"Who?"

Anger flooded through her. She didn't care that she was being kept in the enemies house, surrounded by only those who wished her harm except for the man in front of her. She raised a finger to point at him and noticed her hand was shaking. "You know who! Dumbledore in that damned portrait of his! He told you what happened my sixth year!"

"Yes, he did," Severus raised his voice to match hers, "because he didn't want a repeat performance!" He pulled his wand, swished it angrily at the door and the muffliato charm was cast.

"Out of everyone in the Order, he wanted you to watch over me?"

Severus gave her a half sneer. "Apparently, he did."

Meri stood toe to toe with him. "You'd rather see me dead, wouldn't you? I could slit my wrists and you'd watch me bleed out!" Severus' face blanched and Meri realized the mistake she had made. He may have hated her brother but he had never shown that kind of hatred towards her. "I'm sorry, Sev."

"You want to kill yourself," he stepped away from her, "you go right ahead." And he turned on his heel and left her alone in the room. Meri couldn't believe she had been so stupid to say something like that to him. She had heard his mother had committed suicide the day after he graduated from Hogwarts. She never heard how, she never really cared to know how Eileen Snape chose to leave this world. She tried to contact him mentally but he would have nothing to do with her at the moment so she went into the bathroom to clean up.

She hardly recognized herself when she was assaulted with the image in the mirror. Her face was mottled with dried blood and there was an angry, semi-open gash that ran from her right temple to her left jaw line. She could tell Severus hadn't completed the healing charm and she could hardly imagine what the injury looked like before he had started with the healing process.

Filling up the sink basin with warm water, she cleaned her face off as best as possible and could see bruises that were starting to appear. From the look of things, her entire face and neck would be black and blue by the morning. She touched the edge of the gash on her face and her eyes became fixed on the reflection of the Dark Mark. It unnerved her to no end that the vile image had been scorched into her flesh.

The Prophet was most likely being printed right now for it's morning distribution and she was almost certain what the headline would read. "Meriam Potter, Head Auror and Aunt to the Boy Who Lived, found to be the Dark Lord's daughter." She hung her head in defeat knowing that her place in the Ministry as well as the Order would be suspicious, forget the fact that her family secret was now out in the open.

Her eyes fell on a crystal goblet that was sitting on the sink next to a decanter of water. Meri picked up the goblet and turned it in her hands. It was real glass, multifaceted and hand cut. There really was nothing else for her to do now that her loyalties would be called into question. Harry was finding the Horcruxes which meant he would find ways to destroy them. He had survived this long without her help, he would continue on without an issue.

She felt the goblet slip from her fingers and watched in fascination as the glass splintered on the tile. It wasn't a razor but if she could find a sharp enough piece, it would be just as good. She had just picked up a good candidate for what she wanted to do when a loud crack resounded in the room. Meri straightened up and peered around the doorway of the bathroom. A house elf with a tray of food was standing near the bed. Meri slipped the piece of glass she had into her jean pocket.

"I brought you some food, miss," the little creature said, setting the tray of food down on a low table. "Is there anything-" then she noticed the broken glass on the floor of the bathroom. "Oh, my, I'll clean that up right now."

"You don't need to," Meri said but the elf had already started cleaning up the shards. After the floor was clean again and the elf produced another goblet, she disapparated back down to the kitchens. Meri could smell the food tantalizing her from the bedroom but her stomach was twisted into knots. Instead of sleeping or eating, she sat down on the floor of the bathroom and pulled out the salvaged piece of glass. She kept turning it over in her fingers until she fell asleep.

It was yet another cold night out in the middle of some forest that he had no idea where it was located. They had had a falling out and Ron had disappeared out into the darkness. They didn't know where he was or if he had made it back home. Harry had sent his aunt a couple letters telling her the progress that they were making and he hoped she had received them. There was no way she could contact him so he did his best to find old Daily Prophets to see if there was any news concerning her. The last Prophet that they had found did not bode good news. Hermione had brought it to him, looking drawn and pale.

The headline had read that Snape had been run out of Hogwarts and McGonagall was to take over as Head Mistress. But a smaller headline read that Meri Potter had gone missing and no one had seen her since the attempted arrest of Snape and the Carrows. They had tried to find a discarded Prophet in the next two days but they couldn't and he was starting to wonder if they should go back to the Order and find out what to do to help find his Aunt. For all he knew, Snape had killed her and stashed her body somewhere.

He fell asleep at some point that night because that was when the vision came. It had been so long since he had seen into Voldemort's mind that he was actually unfamiliar with the feeling and it took him a moment to realize that it wasn't a dream he was seeing. He could hear Voldemort's high, cold voice but couldn't see him.

"Amycus, if I allow you to deal with Meriam here, it would not be very entertaining. You wouldn't last two minutes with her. Severus, if you wouldn't mind."

Snape made his way in front of Harry and he soon saw his Aunt standing in front of him as well. He watched as the two faced off and started to duel. He held his breath through the duel and noticed the Snape's eyes were glinting strangely as he fought with Meri. After a few moments of fighting, Snape shouted "Sectumsempra" and Harry saw his Aunt's face explode in a shower of blood.

"Harry!"

His eyes flew open and he was staring up at Hermione. "What?"

She looked very disconcerted. "You were screaming. What happened?"

He sat up and rubbed his eyes before putting his glasses on. "I saw Snape dueling Meri in front of Voldemort. She was holding her own until the end. He used sectumsempra and the curse hit her directly in the face. We have to contact the Order. We have to find out if she's okay."

Hermione chewed her lower lip. "I don't think that would be a good idea. I think we should continue to search for the Horcruxes."

"She needs help. No one knows where she is."

"Harry," she sighed nervously, "Voldemort used images of Sirius being tortured to get you to go to the Department of Mysteries. What if this is just another trick to get you to show yourself?"

He had to admit she made a valid point but the desire to not lose yet another family member was so strong. Snape had already killed Dumbledore and he didn't want his former Potions Master to add another tally to his death count. He gave a tight nod to Hermione and laid back down. He didn't know how to do legilimency so he just closed his eyes and thought very hard of his Aunt, wherever she may be, and wanted her to know that he was fine and that he didn't want her to give up.

"I'm fine, Aunt Meri. Don't give up…whatever you do, don't give up."

"Harry!" Meri's eyes snapped open, her shout for her nephew woke her up. Blinking her gritty feeling eyes, she looked up to see Severus standing over her. Light was shining behind him, signaling it was morning. She tried to push herself up and felt the shard of glass cut into the palm of her hand. She kept her hand over the piece of glass so Severus wouldn't see it. "What?"

"Get up," he said. "We're leaving."

"Where are we going?"

"I don't know yet."

"Are you acting on Voldemort's orders?"

A muscle in cheek twitched but he didn't say anything further.

She rolled the glass under her palm. "Alright." She waited till he turned his back to her before she stood up and pocketed the piece of the glass. She would see where this new direction went before she completely gave up any and all hope of furthering Harry's victory over Voldemort.