Chapter 14
Over the next four days, I watch her be tied to a stake and lit on fire by Peter, almost drown in an ocean, watch her family bleed to death in front of her, and watch her be forced to shoot them. She comes in today looking exhausted, but no longer afraid. It is a good sign. She also hasn't tried to manipulate the simulation again, which makes me think she took my warning to heart. This helps me relax a little.
I stand leaning against the counter of the small sink, the cabinets with the serum and syringes behind my head, watching her. I can see the computer screen from where I stand and can tell it is the same fear from yesterday. She shoots her family and sits up shaking a little.
"I know the simulation isn't real, but it still feels real when I have to shoot them." she says, looking at me.
"I know it does. It is supposed to, that is how it is designed. You don't have to explain it to me." I say, trying to comfort her the best way I know how. It is obvious how much she loves her family, the guilt she faces over having to hurt them, even in a simulation, is overwhelming to her. She shakes her head at me and looks down. I want to go over and wrap her in my arms. I remind myself that there are cameras in this room, and Eric is watching those cameras. I keep my arms firmly crossed and will my feet to stay put.
"Its the only time I get to see them...and...I miss them. Do you ever just miss your family?" she asks, looking up at me once more.
"No." My answer is too quick, and comes too easily. She is going to ask questions if I don't stop her. She is too curious for her own good. I wonder if she had an aptitude for Erudite? "But, I'm not normal. Most people miss their family, that's normal. It will get easier the longer you are away from them."
She stands and nods at me. I can see her thinking about what I said. She goes to turn the knob to leave the room and pauses, staring back at me. I stare back at her, and the moment goes on too long. Her eyes are searching me, like she is trying to send me a message with her mind. I get lost in her eyes. I forget where we are for a moment and my mind plays back the scene from the hallway the first day of phase two. I start to move closer to her, wanting to breath her in again. As soon as I step forward, she turns and leaves, closing the door quickly behind her. Just one more week and initiation will be over. One more week and I don't have to hide my feelings for her.
She was my last simulation for the day. I enter her results, two minutes and thirsty seven seconds. I don't think much about it, after all it doesn't take very long to squeeze the trigger of a gun. Then I head down to the cafeteria. I sit down, still distracted by her eyes. I don't really pay attention to anything anyone is saying, until I hear Uriah's voice behind me.
"Zeke, Eric just posted the results for phase two. I'm in second place overall." he says, pride and excitement clearly showing in his voice.
"What do you mean your second? Not that it's not great and all, but who beat you?" Zeke asks.
"Tris. Her average time was 2:45. I didn't think that was humanly possible. That girl is truly fearless." he says.
I turn around, out of reflex, when I hear her name. Zeke and Uriah notice and both grin at me. "Eric already posted the results? That asshole was supposed to wait on me." I say, trying to cover my sudden interest in their conversation.
"You sure that is the only thing you wanted to add to this conversation? Nothing about how happy you are that a certain stiff is at the top?" Zeke raises an eyebrow at me.
"Just give it up, Four. It is obvious to everyone, but her, how much you like her." Uriah adds.
"You two are seeing things that aren't there. She is just another one of the transfers. I watch them all like that, its sort of my job." I say, rolling my eyes.
They sit down on either side of me and give each other a knowing look, quirking their eyebrows and grinning at each other. I suddenly feel nervous. I have never been a fan of their plans. They never seem to work out and I am usually the one left to clean up the mess or talk us out of trouble.
"What?" I groan.
"We could help you know, help you get her to notice you." Zeke says.
Shauna walks up and sits down with us. This situation is getting more awkward by the second. "Help with what?" she asks.
"Four's love life." Zeke responds, seriously.
"Ooh, are you finally going to ask the stiff out? I think you two would be cute together." she says.
"She has a name you know. Its Tris. And, if I decide to ask Tris out, I don't need you guys to plan it out for me. But, I am not going to ask her out because I am her instructor and she is my initiate. I only see her as that, not to mention even if I did see her as more, it would be inappropriate." I say flustered by their meddling.
"Who you trying to convince, Four? Us or you?" Shauna shoots back.
"Fine. It is clearly pointless to argue with you, so what is this brilliant plan?"
"Well, her transfer buddies are not very happy with her for beating all of them. Notice that she is not eating with them right now. I think I know where she is. I will get Marlene and Lynn and take her to the training room to shoot the pellet guns. I'll tell her we are just going to go have some fun." Uriah smiles.
"That's great and all Uriah, but where do I come in?" I say.
Zeke grins and speaks up. "You, Lauren and I will go and catch them messing around in the training room. We will say that we were coming in to do some target practice and yell at them."
"I still don't understand how me yelling at her and her friends is going to help? Won't it do the opposite of what you are trying to do?"
"When she goes to leave stop her Four. Tell her your happy she is here, or that you are proud of her ranking. Just something to make her feel special and wanted. Like she fits here, like she fits with you." Shauna finishes, smiling at me.
"You guys are idiots and even if I wanted this to work, which I don't, this is not the plan I would have picked." I say.
"So is that a yes?" Uriah asks.
"Whatever." I say, shaking my head and rolling my eyes.
"Sweet!" Uriah walks back over to Marlene and Lynn, daring Marlene to let him shoot a muffin off the top of her head. She giggles and Lynn agrees to come as a witness. I see them leave to go get Tris.
We wait ten minutes like Uriah told us to. Then the three of us head up to the training room. We hear the sound of the pellet guns and barge through the door.
"Thought I heard gun fire in here. What do you guys think you are doing?" Zeke asks Uriah.
Uriah grins at him and then at me. Marlene and Lynn are still giggling, but Tris stands there frozen, staring at me. I stare back at her, I forget everyone else is in the room. My heartbeat quickens and my mouth goes dry. I hear Zeke saying something about me to Uriah.
"You wouldn't tell on us, would you, Four?" Lynn says, eyeing me suspiciously.
"No, I wouldn't." I reply as Uriah scoots Lynn and Marlene out the door. Tris trails behind them as planned. I place my hand on Tris's back ushering her towards the door. I am trying to think of something to say to her, but my mind is blank. I start to get nervous, trying to think of something, anything to say to her. She steps into the hallway.
"Wait a second," I say. She pauses, and the others walk on a head of her. I say the first thing that pops into my mind. "You belong here. You know that? You belong here with us. It will be over soon. Just hold on, ok?" I smile at her hoping that she got my message. That she doesn't just belong here in Dauntless, but that she belongs here with me.
She looks into my eyes curiously, and then grabs my hand, lacing her fingers with mine. We stay that way for a moment, me looking down at her, her looking up at me. It feels like there is an electric current running through my hand into hers and back again. A wide smile stretches across her face and I smile widely back at her. Then, as suddenly as she grabbed my hand, she lets go, turning and running down the hall to catch up with the others.
I hear Zeke yell 'Get some!' from behind me and Shauna starts to laugh. I don't turn around. I don't want to share my happiness with them. I don't want to admit they were right.