AN: Thanks for all the reviews, faves, and follows, and the continued support. I hope you enjoy the next chapter. School is almost out for summer and I should be able to update more frequently. Please continue to leave reviews.
Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent or any of its characters.
Chapter 15
I am on my way back from the control room when I hear a commotion. I don't think that much about it, probably just some drunks fighting in the pit. I walk past the dorms, my mind is on her. I have thought about her all night. I told myself I went to the control room to make sure the files from today's simulations were saved properly. Really, I was making sure Eric had not flagged her file. He didn't question me about it when he saw us coming back from the training room, but I don't want any surprises for me or her.
I stop outside the door to the dorms, it is slightly open, and light from the hallway streams in the room. I shouldn't stop. I shouldn't be checking on her, but I can't help myself. I want to see her face again, even if just for a moment. I think about her small hand laced with mine, the way her face light up when she smiled at me. My insides tingle and I feel a warmth spread over me. Just thinking about her, makes me smile. I feel less nervous, the thought of her calming me.
I step in and peak my head through the door. I find Christina sleeping peacefully on the top bunk. I look down, expecting to see Tris. Her bunk is empty. The calm feeling I had a moment ago vanishes. The rankings. She was ranked first. I immediately look at Peter's bunk. It is also empty. The chasm. I don't think, I just run. It was him. The commotion was him and he has her. Then I hear her scream.
I turn the corner, coming out of the tunnel that leads to the dorms. That's when I see him. But it's not just him. There are three of them. One of them has her holding her over the railing. I can't see what they are doing to her, but I know what they plan to do next. I hear one of them yell out in pain and Tris falls to the ground. I see Drew raise his hand smashing it into her face. She falls over and he kicks her hard in the ribs.
"Get away from her!" I yell, running towards them so fast, they don't have time to react. One of them runs away, I see the back of his head, and his lumbering gate. Al. I can't believe he would do this to her. She trusted him. I want to run after him, so I can drag him back here and beat him senseless, but I don't have time for that right now.
Drew sees me coming and swings at me, his fist colliding with my face. I barely notice it, adrenaline coursing through me like a drug. I elbow him hard to the side of the head and bring my knee up to meet him as he falls. I hear sickening crack and he goes down. I begin kicking him. I keep kicking until I know he won't get back up. He may be dead, but I don't care. He tried to kill her, so I gave him what he deserved. I turn around and Peter has Tris suspended in the air, holding her over the chasm by the throat. She is kicking at him furiously, her legs too short to reach him.
"Drop her, or I'll kill you." I command him.
He lets go of her and I see her fall. He turns to run. I don't look to see where he goes. I just stare at her as she falls. My heart stops beating and my breath catches in my throat. It feels like everything is in slow motion. Oh God! No. Please, no. At the last second her arms slam into the railing and she wraps her elbows around it. I run to the railing. Tris's eyes are narrowed, like she is trying to focus. I stare into them, trying to let her know she is safe.
"Four," she croaks. I can tell she is barely hanging on. I pull her back over the rail, wrapping her in my arms. She presses her head into my shoulder and I feel her body go limp. I can feel her chest rising up and down against my mine, so I know she is alive. I don't want to take her to the infirmary. I don't want her in the same room with them. I take her to the only place I know she will be safe. my apartment.
I lay her gently on the bed, covering her up with the quilt. Her clothes are ripped and some her skin is exposed. I know she would feel better being completely covered, modesty is a big thing in Abnegation. I look back down at her, and without thinking, I lean down and brush my lips to her hair. I'll fight for you. I will always be there to protect you.
I don't want to leave her here, in a strange place alone, but I have to go take care of Drew. I won't be gone long, and more than likely she will be out for a while. She took quite the beating tonight. I decide on the way there that if Drew is still breathing I will take him to the infirmary and say I found him that way. If he is not, I'll throw his body over the railing and act surprised with everyone else when they pull his body out tomorrow. I take my time getting there. Option number two is sounding like the better choice at the moment.
When I reach Drew he is still breathing, but barely. I hoist him over my shoulder and am not careful when I slam him down on the bed in the infirmary. As soon as I am relieved of him, I go back up to my apartment. Tris is still out when I get there. Her breathing is stronger now, more even. I go into the bathroom to wash my hands. Carefully scrubbing the blood from under my nails. I dry my hands and look over at Tris. She is awake. I see her eyes shining at me. I turn off the light and go over to the refrigerator, getting a nice pack for her head.
"Your hands," she croaks, as I walk towards her. Always the selfless Abnegation. She nearly dies and she is checking on me.
"My hands are none of your concern," I reply. I lean over her, slipping the ice pack under her head. She reaches up and touches the side of my lip where Drew punched me. I feel a jolt of electricity where her skin connects with mine. "Tris, I'm all right." I reassure her, my lips pressed against her fingers as I speak. Is she just being Abnegation right now? Or is this something more? I hope it is something more.
"Why were you there?" She asks. Her hand drops to the bed and I want it back.
Because, I was checking on you. Because I was worried about you. Because all I think about is you and keeping you safe. That's what I want to say, but I don't. "I was coming back from the control room. I heard a scream."
"What did you do to them?" She says.
"I deposited Drew at the infirmary a half hour ago," I say. "Peter and Al ran."
"Drew's in bad shape?" She asks, but there is not concern in her voice. It is something else, vindication.
"He'll live. In what condition, I can't say." I reply, bitterness in my voice. She reaches out and sqeezes my arm. I feel triumph burning through me.
"Good." She says. Her faces contorts in anger and then she tenses her muscles, before she begins to cry.
I crouch down beside the bed. I study her face, she isn't crying because she is some weak little girl. These are angry tears. She is crying because she wants to lash out at them and can't. She is so strong. So beautiful. So Dauntless.
I pull my wrist free from her hand and reach down and touch her face, my thumb skimming the bruise that is starting to purple on her cheek where Drew hit her. I am careful and light with my touch, I don't want to hurt her. "I could report this."
"No" she says firmly. "I don't want them to think I am scared."
"Figured you would say that." I say. She starts to sit up and I see her wince in pain. She tries to hide a groan. "I'll help you."
I grab her shoulder and support her head with my hand. She pushes herself up and I hand her the ice pack. She is fighting back tears and bites down hard on her lip to keep from crying out. She is trying to be brave in front of me. She doesn't have to be. Not here. I want her to know that she can be herself around me. She doesn't have to prove herself. I already see the real her.
"You can let yourself be in pain. Its just me here." I tell her. She bites down on her lip again, but this time it is to stop it from trembling as tears slowly fall down her face. I want to reach up and brush them from her cheeks. But, I know that will make her feel weak, like I pitty her. I don't pity her. I am amazed by how fierce she is. She is unlike anyone I have ever met. I know the best way for her to protect herself right now is to appear weak. She isn't going to like what I have to say next, but it is the best plan for now.
"I suggest you rely on your friends to protect you from now on." my voice serious, and hard
Her face falls and she stares into the room, her voice is quiet, "I thought I was...but Al,"
"He wanted you to be the small, quiet girl from Abnegation," I say softly, not wanting her to think I am lecturing her. I am not trying to be her instructor right now. I want her to see that I truly do care for her. "He hurt you because your strength made him feel weak. No other reason. The others won't be as jealous if you show some vulnerability. Even if it isn't real." I added the last part, just to make sure she knows I don't see her as weak.
"You think I have to pretend to be vulnerable?" she asks, raising her eyebrow at me, a hint of a smile tugging at her lips.
"Yes, I do." I take the ice pack from her and hold it to her head. She puts her arm down and relaxes, finally able to let her guard down with me. She is beautiful, even beaten and bruised. They didn't break her. They can't break her. She closes her eyes thinking about what I have just said. In this moment, all I want to do is kiss her. I stand up and face the wall to stop myself. This isn't the time, she has been through too much tonight.
"You're going to want to march into breakfast tomorrow and show your attackers they had no effect on you," I say, my back to her, "but you should let that bruise on your cheek show, and keep your head down."
I turn around to see her reaction. Her head is looking down and I can tell from the look on her face the idea makes her sick.
"I don't think I can do that," her voice is hollow. She looks up at me. I can tell by her eyes there is something else, something she isn't telling me.
"You have to." I say sternly.
"I don't think you get it." She pauses and I see anger mixed with fear and embarrasement building on her face. "They touched me."
My whole body stifens. I feel like someone has just punhed me in the stomach. My fist tightens around the ice pack. Touched her, they touched her. I will kill them.
"Touched you." I repeat in low angry voice.
"Not...in the way you're thinking." she clears her throat, "But...almost."
She looks away and I can see fresh tears falling down her cheeks. I want to run over to her and pull her into my arms, holding her and letting her know that she is safe. I can't imagine how hard having them touch her must have been. Abnegation consider any physical contact highly intimate, even just holding hands. How dare they take that from her. How dare they defile her body that way. I start thinking about them touching her, hurting her. I am consumed by rage. I stare down at her. I don't say anything for a long time. I don't know what to say. All I can think about is keeping her safe. I will never let this happen again. As long as I am alive, I will keep her safe.
"What is it?" she asks, watching me staring at her, lost in my own thoughts.
"I don't want to say this, but I feel like I have to. It is more important for you to be safe than right, for the time being. Understand?" My face is tense and serious, my eyebrows drawn low over my eyes, my lips pressed into a hard line. She nods at me and I continue, "But, please, when you see an opportunity," I press my hand to her cheek and tilt her head up so she is looking directly into my eyes. "Ruin them."
"You're a little scary sometimes Four." she says with a nervous laugh. I cringe a little when she calls me Four. It reminds me that I am her instructor, I don't want her to see me as that anymore. I am done waiting for the timing for us to be right to be together. I make the decision right then to tell her who I am really am.
"Do me a favor, don't call me that." I say.
"Then what should I call you?" she looks at me curiously,
"Nothing...yet." I say.