A/N Sorry if the updates are too quick, this story just keeps writing itself. I'm glad so many seem to be enjoying it. Thank you for taking the time to read and review.

I own nothing.

Ch 31 No Really I'm Not

Lorelai returns to Luke's house later in the afternoon on Sunday and hears laughter coming from inside. She opens the door to find Jess and Rory in laughing fits on the floor and Luke looking confused. "Rory was right, this is the psych ward, what are you two laughing about?"

Luke shrugged and said, "All I asked was what Jess wanted me to pack in his lunch for tomorrow."

Lorelai started laughing as well; Luke was confused and asked, "Why is that so funny? Lunch isn't funny, lunch is to be eaten."

"Oh, babe, if you want Jess to walk in the door looking like geek central send him in with a paper bag lunch on his first day at Chilton."

"Or, better yet a Scooby Doo lunch box," Rory added.

Jess upped them all with, "No! Make it a Star Trek!"

"Hey!" Luke shouted.

"Oops, a step too far," Lorelai whispered to the kids, to Luke she said, "Luke, Hon, I'm sorry to laugh at your good intentions, it's just that these kids are ruthless, even when they buy their lunches what they pick can brand them for the entire year."

Rory nodded knowingly, "The first time I picked up a grilled cheese sandwich kids asked if I wanted my mommy to walk me to class. They asked me each day for an entire month. To this day I can't look at a griddle." She looked scared and her eyes wide open.

Jess added, "My first week at Harrington a kid ordered a salmon patty and he was tormented by the fish head song for the rest of the semester. These kids are killers Uncle Luke, please don't brand me before I even open my mouth," Jess was on his knees begging Luke his hands folded together.

Rory joined him on the floor in the same position with her hands also folded, "Please Luke, don't brand Jess a geek from his first day, have pity on him."

Luke rolled his eyes and said, "Jeez."

Lorelai looked at the pair on the floor, "Melodrama much?" They laughed at her "Good to have you here Jess, I know Rory will love having someone at Chilton that she can actually talk to."

Jess helped Rory off the floor, "Thanks, Lorelai, I'm looking forward to it, thanks for suggesting this to Luke. I still have to unpack, hey Luke, mom only got me one blazer for Chilton, could I get another incase something happens to the one?"

"Sure Jess, you need anything else?"

"Hey Jess, Rory could take you shopping for school supplies, she gets very excited by Staples." Rory shoots Lorelai a death glare.

"You get excited by a stapler or just the staples themselves?" Jess really looked confused.

"No, the store where you can buy serious paper and school products, no more daisies for her, serious yellow legal pads only." Lorelai is getting way too much fun out of this and Rory is trying to kill her with her thoughts.

Jess smiles at Rory, and she felt butterflies in her stomach. "Well, maybe after I find out what Biff and the gang carry I'll take you up on it. What time's dinner Luke?"

"In about an hour, tomorrow I have to take you to meet the headmaster and sign the paperwork to get you transferred. If you need to do laundry we have to do it at Lorelai's; the washer and dryer are being delivered next week."

"No, I'm good for tomorrow, I may need to take you up on that later though."

"Hey Jess, how about we get you enough shirts and pants to get through an entire week at Chilton so you don't have to worry about doing any laundry during the week and you can concentrate on studying? That's what we've done with Rory."

"Actually that's what Grandma did. Speaking of Grandma, when are you telling her that you've moved the wedding date up?"

"How about March 23rd?"

"Mom!"

"Too early?"

Jess was a bit confused, "You moved the wedding date up?"

He looked at Luke who threw up his hands and shouted, "She's not pregnant!"

Jess looked innocently and said, "Did I ask?"

The next morning Luke and Jess picked up both Lorelai at the Gilmore's and they all drove to Chilton in the elder Lorelai's jeep. Luke and Jess walked into the Headmaster's office and Lorelai waited outside in the hallway. A short period of time later Headmaster Charleston stepped out with them and saw Lorelai in the hallway, she was wearing one of her suits for work because they were on their way to see Emily and Richard after this.

Headmaster looked at Lorelai a bit puzzled, "Miss Gilmore, did we have an appointment today? I must say that your attire is a bit more appropriate this time." Referring to her cowgirls outfit that she wore Rory's first day, of course he wouldn't have seen it if it hadn't been for her mother insisting that she take her coat off.

His attitude was really honking Luke off and he noticed how his words were affecting Lorelai so he did what he swore he wasn't ever going to do, "Headmaster, I don't think you've actually been properly introduced to Miss Gilmore, she is my fiancée and soon to be Jess' aunt. I'm sure you didn't intend any insult, but I have to say I'm afraid I've taken your comment in that manner." Luke actually smiled at him and Lorelai and Jess are shocked.

"Of course I'm quite sorry Mr. Danes, it was inappropriate of me and I do apologize for any ill feelings, Lorelai. Mr. Mariano, I trust you will do Chilton proud your scores are some of the best we've seen. Hurry along to class and we will meet again at a later date. Congratulations Mr. Danes, Miss Gilmore. If you will excuse me I must get back to the task at hand."

As his door closed Luke muttered, "Putz." He turned to Lorelai and Jess who were both staring at him in awe, "What?"

"Who are you and what've you done with my fiancé?" Lorelai narrows her eyes at him. "Where did you learn to do that?"

Luke shifts uncomfortably, "What?" He won't meet her eyes.

"That society; 'let me stab you in the back while I look at you with Bambi eyes' and they actually back down and apologize? Quite frankly it reminds me of my mother."

"I guess it comes from ten years of being one of the youngest owners of a huge corporation and having people constantly assume you don't know your ass from a hole in the ground. You learn how to tell 'em to f.." Luke suddenly remembered where he was, "to go pound sand without actually using those words, but they get the idea." As they were walking down the hall Luke puts his arm around Lorelai and whispers, "Having a lot of clout doesn't hurt either." Lorelai threw back her head and laughed. "Don't ever tell me that I remind you of your mother in anyway. Got it?"

"Aye, aye captain." Lorelai saluted and Luke pinched her butt, "Yipe!"

Luke and Lorelai walked with Jess and when they got to his room Luke shook his hand, "Good luck, Jess, you riding the bus home with Rory?"

"Yep."

"Have lunch money?"

"Yep." Jess grins.

"See you at home."

"Yep."

"The scintillating conversation you two have constantly astounds me." Lorelai whispered to Luke who just rolled his eyes.

After dropping Jess at his class they headed to Hartford and 'Lorelai's personal tour of Hell' as she referred to it again and again and again.. "One more time and we're getting married in August!"

"Funny boy. Idle threats babe, and you know it." Lorelai chuckled. Luke sighed, yep, she was right.

Luke rang the bell as soon as they walked up, knowing that Lorelai would have prolonged it and he just wanted to get this over with. He hoped Richard had been able to change his meetings so he could join them. The maid opened the door and Lorelai said, "Just two for the disemboweling today."

The maid wasn't too sure so Luke said, "We're here to see Mr. & Mrs. Gilmore, daughter and fiancé."

They were led into the living room and Emily was having tea. She looked up and said, "Well, I'm surprised you're on time Lorelai, mornings aren't usually your strong suit."

Before anything else can be said Richard is heard entering from his study, "Lorelai, Luke, m'boy, good to see you both this morning. I've been working on this new account, the company that bought Hayden; B-D Corporation? Fascinating company. Their accident rate is the lowest in the nation for the type of work they do, but the insurance packet is the best for their employees. The owner could boost profits by at least four percent if he would lessen the benefits, but he's one of those morally bound do-gooders who feel that the people make the company and absolutely refuses to budge on this point." Richard was taking great delight in ribbing Luke in front of Emily and Luke was grinning as well.

"Isn't it a shame when there're people who won't strip the benefits of the common worker just so they can have another island home? What is this world coming to?" Luke was surprised to find one of the amazing benefits to marrying Lorelai, and there were so many, was getting a relationship with Richard that was much like the one with his father.

Richard could be hard headed, they actually did go a few rounds on the phone about the benefits issue, but he took great delight in Luke's success and was able to take Luke's answer as the final word. Then he found another company that would give the employees equal benefits at a savings of 2 percent, which Luke passed on to the employees by lowering their co-pay.

"Richard, Lorelai and Luke wanted to tell us something, that's why they're here. Let's not keep them too long, shall we?" Emily had a vague notion what Lorelai was going to say and she just wanted it over with.

"Right, well you two, what was it you wanted to tell us?"

"Well, Mom, Dad, Luke and I have decided to move our wedding date up to March 24th and we.."

"I knew it she's pregnant!" Emily shouted.

"Damn it Lorelai I told you!" Luke was beside himself.

"Really? Well, congratulations are in order then," Richard was a bit disappointed in Luke, he had hoped for more grand children but wanted them to wait until they were married.

"I'M NOT PREGNANT!" Lorelai shouted.

"Wait," Richard said, "you're not pregnant? Emily why would you say she is if she isn't?"

"Well why would she push the wedding up to just two months away if she isn't pregnant? Obviously she is; she hasn't had any alcohol at dinner for weeks, she only drinks coffee with her dessert and she's been drinking more water than a fish. Deny it all you want but you can't fool me."

"Lorelai, I told you they would think this, now your dad must think I'm a rake. Tell them you're not pregnant!" Luke was really concerned because he knew how he would feel if it was his daughter.

"Mother! I really am NOT pregnant. I just want to be married to Luke and a weekend at the Inn opened up that is the same week as my Spring Break. I've been drinking less coffee and alcohol and more water, I'm also taking vitamins to increase the chance that we can have a baby, AFTER we get married." She suddenly looks at Luke, "A rake? What are we suddenly in the middle of a Jane Austen novel?"

Emily isn't letting go of this easily, "Why do you need to get married so soon? You haven't even been dating a year yet. You must be pregnant, otherwise why would you feel the need to marry this hooligan so quickly, although you didn't feel that pressure with Christopher."

"Emily! That's enough! Lorelai says they aren't having a baby, why would you insist they are? Lorelai and Luke love each other; they've been friends for years now, if they feel it's better for them if they get married sooner than later, why would you fight them on this?"

"Oh, for heaven's sake Richard, Lorelai doesn't know what she wants, look how she's lived her life."

"Mother I'm right here! I can actually hear you, surprise! I do know what I want and I want Luke and I want to be married to Luke and I want children with Luke! That is what I want. Do you understand?"

"I want a prenuptial agreement." Emily came out of left field with that one.

"What?!" Both Lorelai and Richard say this together.

"Not a problem," Luke has been waiting for Emily to pull this card for some time.

"NO!" Lorelai is in shock, "No pre-nup."

"Lorelai, if it makes your mother feel better I'm fine with it. You and I both know we love each other. The only validity a pre-nuptial has is when the marriage ends and I'm not letting you go." Luke was looking directly into Lorelai's eyes and trying to get her to see that if Emily needed this to feel comfortable with their union he was really OK.

"O –Kay, then I want one too." Lorelai looks at Luke. He is looking a bit confused and Emily is sitting looking like she has won her battle.

"Lorelai, the one your mom is asking for would be yours." Luke said trying to figure out where he took a left turn.

"No, I want one for you, keeping any assets you have from me if we divorce."

"No. I don't want to put anything like that in writing. I'm not divorcing you and that's final." Luke was starting to get a good head of steam up. "If your mom needs this to be comfortable with our marriage then I can live with it. I see no reason to draw one up for me as well. I have no doubt that we will stay married, I don't want to pay my lawyer anymore than I have to in a year."

"Fine, then I won't have one either."

Emily rose up out of her seat, "Oh, yes you will!"

Richard finally put his foot down, "Emily I have had enough! Luke and Lorelai will be married in March and we will support this union. I refuse to have a pre-nuptial put together for Lorelai and I agree with Luke, we need to focus on the marriage working out, not ending. Luke is an honorable man who wouldn't do anything that would be harmful to our daughter. If we are blessed to have more grandchildren we'll welcome them too. At this time I believe Lorelai and Luke when they say they're moving the date up simply because they wish to be married. This is the end of the discussion." Richard had risen his full six foot five stature and Emily could see he was serious.

"Fine. I assume we will get an invitation in the mail?"

Luke looked at Lorelai and at that moment she hated that sometimes they could read each other's minds. She rolled her eyes at him and then looked at Emily, "Mom, would you like to help Sookie and me plan the wedding?"

Emily looked at her warily and then softened a bit, "I'm pretty sure that I could find some time on such short notice. When were you thinking?"

Lorelai chuckled, "As you pointed out, it is coming up soon so I was wondering if you could meet Sookie and me at the Inn on Thursday? I have free time in the afternoon."

"I think I could fit that in."

Luke stood up, sensing that since no one was yelling at each other it would be a good time to leave. "Thank you Richard, Emily, we appreciate you taking the time to meet with us today. We need to get back to our jobs as well. We'll see you on Friday Richard. Emily thank you for helping Lorelai with the plans."

Luke went to gather their coats and Richard followed him, "Thank you Luke for everything, Lorelai listens to you, I know it was your idea to have her invite her mother to help with the planning." Richard shook Luke's hand.

"I can honestly say Richard, I never said a word to Lorelai about it, it was all her doing." Luke smiled at the man about to become his father-in-law.

"You don't mind if I don't believe you?" Richard smiled back, just then Emily and Lorelai walked up and Luke helped her on with her coat.

"Thank you Lorelai, I look forward to seeing you on Thursday." Emily said.

Luke and Lorelai went out to her jeep and sat in the car for a few minutes staring straight ahead. "I asked my mother to help plan my wedding. Voluntarily asked her. I'm beginning to believe Rory when she says we live in a mental hospital." Lorelai grinned and looked at Luke who was staring at his hands.

"Your dad said I was an honorable man and I'd never hurt you." He said in a low voice, "I can't stand that I've already let him down."

"Oh, babe, how have you already let him down? You are an honorable man and you wouldn't hurt me intentionally." Lorelai put her left hand on top of his and stroked it with her thumb.

Luke looked at her and softly said, "How is it you can forgive me so easily? I don't deserve it."

Lorelai smiled, "When Rory was just a child my mom gave me a crystal vase that had been my great grandmother's and I loved it. One of the only things my mom has ever given me that I actually loved. When Rory was nine and we were getting ready to go to our first amusement park ever, she was so excited that she knocked into the table that had the vase on it and it fell and shattered."

"While I was upset, the look on Rory's face when she realized that she had broken it was enough to stop my anger. She was so upset with herself that she refused to go to the park and when I pointed out that that meant I couldn't have fun either she said she would go but she wouldn't have fun, only I should have all the fun." Luke chuckled knowing Rory as he did, he could see this play out in his mind.

"Luke, you had that same look on your face Sunday morning. Nothing I could say or do would punish you more than you were already punishing yourself. I love you, I know you love me and wouldn't do anything to hurt me on purpose; you're not vindictive. So it was never a question of forgiving or not forgiving, that possibility went out the window when I fell in love with you." Lorelai shrugged.

Luke reached over to capture her lips and let his hand linger on her cheek, "I know I don't deserve this, and I'll work very hard to let you know how much I love you. Thank you." He kissed her forehead and drove towards Stars Hollow.

About a quarter of the way there Luke looked over at Lorelai and said with a grin, "I can't believe that you voluntarily asked your mother to help plan our wedding."

Lorelai slapped him on the arm.

A/N Fish heads, fish heads, rolly polly fish heads. Fish heads, fish heads, eat them up Yumm! (Dr Demento)