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Chapter 16

I awake on the floor and see Tris sleeping soundly in my bed. Her face has purpled overnight and there is a cut above her lip. I stand there watching her sleep for a moment, before going in the bathroom to shower. I take my clothes with me, in case she is awake when I finish. I don't want to make her uncomfortable. It's a good thing I did, because she is awake and looking at me as I walk out of the bathroom, drying my hair with the towel in my hand. I like the way it makes me feel to see her here with me. It's like she fits, somehow. lt makes more relaxed.

Her eyes meet mine and she gives me a small smile. I smile back and walk towards her. I touch the bruise on her cheek gently. I can feel a knot under the skin and see it is changing from purple to dark blue. It looks awful and I know over the next few days it will get worse. But I don't want her to worry, so I try to make it sound better than it is.

"Not bad. How's your head?" I say.

"Fine." She says. I know she is lying. She touches the bump on the back of her head gingerly and I see her wince as her fingers slide over it. She quickly moves her hand away from her head and places at her side. I reach down wanting to grab her hand, but think twice about it and touch her side where she was kicked, instead. Every muscle in her body tenses, and she holds her breath.

"And your side?" I ask.

"Only hurts when I breath." She replies, sarcastically. Her sharp wit showing again.

I can't help myself and I chuckle at her response. "Not much you can do about that."

She says something about how Peter would throw a party if she quit breathing. I tell her I would only go if there was cake. She laughs and her eyes light up. I try to think of something else to say to keep our banter going, wanting to see her laugh again. She is even more beautiful when she laughs, if that's even possible.

I lead her out of my apartment, reluctantly. She doesn't seem like she wants to leave either. I wish we could stay here forever. I feel an easiness with her that I have never felt with anyone. I wonder if she feels the same way with me. We walk in silence most of the way. That's another thing I like about her. She doesn't feel the need to be loud or talk just to talk, like the other Dauntless. It reminds me of the order and quiet of Abnegation streets. I wonder if we would have found each other if we had both stayed in Abnegation. Tris doesn't even know that's where I am from.

I stop a few feet from the dining hall. "I'll go in first and then you follow. Remember what I said, ok?"

She nods at me, but refuses to meet my eyes. I take her chin and bring it up, forcing her to look at me. I know she is scared and I don't want her to feel alone.

"See you soon." I say, trying to remind her I will only be a few feet away.

She gives me a weak smile and nods against my fingers. I stop myself from leaning in and kissing her. I shove my hands in my pockets and walk into the dining hall. I sit down at my usual table, positioning myself so I can see her. She walks in and is leaning on the wall for support, her head is down and her hand is pressed over her forehead, shielding her from the eyes that have turned to look at her. If this is an act, it is a good one. But something in me knows, this isn't an act. In this moment, she does feel weak and scared. I want to run over and save her. I, too, feel weak for not being able to protect her from this.

"What the hell happened to her?" Zeke asks, pointing a finger at Tris. I don't respond. I just keep watching her.

Lauren looks up and gasps. Then she looks at me and starts to say something. She must see the look on my face, because she just looks back at Zeke and shakes her head in disbelief.

"Four are you sure she is up to this today?" Lauren finally says.

"She'll be fine. She can take it." I snap. I don't want to discuss it, or her, with them or anyone. I have to seem distant, cold to it all, or I will give too much away. I can't risk putting her in anymore danger.

Tris makes her way slowly to the table and Christina reacts in horror. I can see she is telling her friends what happened last night. Uriah puts his arm around her and I feel jealousy start to build inside me. He glares at Peter and says something to her. I remind myself he is just trying to protect her. It is a good thing she has him and the others. I look over and Peter is watching her. I want to go over and finish the job I started last night. I look back to her and her eyes find mine. I stare at her trying to let her know she is safe. Drew shuffles in, looking like he has been hit by a bus. I laugh a little. He's lucky he can walk at all.

I finish my food and go to the initiates tables. I tell them we will be doing something different today. I hear Uriah tell Tris to be careful and Will tells him not to worry that they will protect her. It makes me feel better that she has them. I lead them through the underground compound into the Pire and then head up the ladder towards the fear landscape room. Even though I am afraid of heights, I climb backwards facing the initiates. I don't want to take my eyes off her for a second. I want to make sure she is keeping up ok and that he is far away from her. I see her stumble slightly and Will holds out his arm. She takes it and continues to climb. I feel the jealousy rise in me again as soon as I see her hand on him. She sees my face and immediately let's go. I must not be hiding my feelings as well as I thought. I harden my face once more and step up onto the floor that houses the fear landscape. I enter the room and the transfers all follow me, gathering around me when I stop. I see Lauren join us from the observation room and I start my explanation.

"This is a different kind of simulation known as the fear landscape. It has been disabled for our purposes, so this isn't what it will be like the next time you go through it. Through out your simulations, we have stored data about your worst fears. The fear landscape accesses that data and presents you with a series of virtual obstacles. Some of the obstacles will be fears you previously faced in your simulations. Some may be new fears. The difference is that you are aware, in the fear landscape, that it is a simulation, so you will have all your wits about you as you go through it." I pause letting what I told them sink in. I scan their faces to gauge their reactions. Most look nervous, even a little scared. I don't blame them, they did just learn that they were going to be forced to live through all of their worst nightmares at one time. I continue, knowing what they will ask next.

"The number of fears you have in your landscape varies according to how many fears you have. I told you before that the third stage of initiation focuses on mental preparation. That is because it requires you to control both your emotions and your body—to combine the physical abilities you learned in stage one with the emotional mastery you learned in stage two. To keep a level head." I stop scanning their faces and focus my gaze on her. I want to make sure she is paying attention to this last part.

"Next week you will go through your fear landscape as quickly as possible in front of a panel of Dauntless leaders. That will be your final test, which determines your ranking for stage three. Just as stage two of initiation is weighted more heavily than stage one, stage three is weighted heaviest of all. Understood?" I see her eyes light up understanding what I told her. This is her chance to make sure she is Dauntless, that she is here with me. I breath a little more easily and finish the last part.

"You can get past each obstacle in one of two ways. Either you find a way to calm down enough that the simulation registers a normal, steady heartbeat, or you find a way to face your fear, which can force the simulation to move on. One way to face a fear of drowning is to swim deeper, for example." I shrug. " So I suggest that you take the next week to consider your fears and develop strategies to face them."

All of the initiates are nodding to show that they understand what I have just told them. All of them, that is, except Peter. He glares at me and crosses his arms. It is a challenge and he is foolish to have issued it. I dare you. I fucking dare you, you little shit.

"That doesn't sound fair," says Peter. "What if one person only has seven fears and someone else has twenty? That's not their fault." I stare at him for a few seconds and then laugh. "Do you really want to talk to me about what's fair?"

I stalk towards him, a malicious grin on my face. My eyes flash dangerously at him and I see his face falter, looking scared, but only for a second before he hardens it yet again. I will make sure that everyone here knows who is responsible for Tris's condition and who is responsible for Drew's.

When I am inches from his face, I stop and pull myself up to my full height, towering over him by several inches. In a deadly voice, I say "I understand why you're worried, Peter. The events of last night certainly proved that you are a miserable coward."

Peter stares back, expressionless.

"So now we all know," I continue quietly, "that you are afraid of a short, skinny girl from Abnegation." My mouth curls into a smile. I know I look a little crazy and that is exactly what I want him to think. I want him to know that if he even thinks about touching her again I will kill him and I will enjoy doing it.

I turn to walk back to my original position. Will has his arm around Tris and is giving Peter a deadly glare. Christina is trying not to laugh at Peter's humiliation. I fight hard to keep my face even, when I notice Tris is smiling. She knows I did it just for her.