A/N I hope you're still enjoying the story. We have a few more things to put in place before the wedding, but so many other stories are at that point right now and have done so beautifully I hope you won't mind a little bit longer wait. Thank you to all who have read and reviewed.

I own nothing

Ch 37 Alternate Universes

In mid February Chilton had teacher in-service and the kids got a Friday off from school. However the parents had to go meet with the teachers. Luke and Lorelai arrived at Chilton wearing their usual Friday night wear. They'd dropped Rory and Jess off at the Hartford library and would pick them up to go to the Gilmore's.

Luke and Lorelai walked down the hallway looking at their schedules. Rory and Jess had English Lit together as well as computer and political science. In the other classes they're split up, Rory had Journalism, Psychology and French, Jess had physics, mythology and calculus.

Lorelai quietly squealed with glee as she turned to Luke, "I get to go to French class!"

"Lorelai, you don't speak French, why would you care about that?"

"Well, I may not know classic French, but when my folks went to Europe when I was thirteen I had a French au pair who knew all the dirty slang and she taught them to me. Plus, I didn't tell you, Michel muttered a VERY vulgar phrase in French that I recognized and now he thinks I speak French so he is terrified of me."

"You mean even more so?" Luke snarked.

Ignoring him she continued, "So I could impress the teacher with how vulgar a Chilton mom could be!"

She danced around Luke who rolled his eyes.

"Yes, because that wouldn't embarrass Rory in the slightest. Besides, you're having conversations about Rory, not participating in the class." Luke put his arm around her and drew her to him.

Unseen by them Max Medina was walking behind them.

"This must be the boyfriend," he muttered as he went into his classroom.

Luke and Lorelai went to political science first and met Rory and Jess' teacher, Ms. Foster. After ten minutes Luke squeezed Lorelai's knee signaling that he was really ready to leave. She leaned into him and whispered, "Five more minutes and we're free of the first in a long list of boring encounters. Last semester I wanted to gouge my eyes out."

"Yeah, and this semester we later have the added benefit of going to your parent's for dinner. Yipee." Luke whispered back.

After the bell rang signaling they were to move on to the next class, Ms. Foster came up to Luke and Lorelai and said, "Hello Ms. Gilmore, Rory is doing well as usual. She is very motivated and I'm sure you're proud of her."

Dismissing Lorelai with that she turned to Luke, "I'm Susan Foster, I haven't seen you here before. Are you the father of one of our students?"

Luke was surprised and said, "No, my nephew Jess is in your class."

"Jess Mariano? My goodness, to have two such handsome men in one family is almost criminal." She laughed lightly as Luke looked uncomfortable.

"I'm also here for Rory, in about a month she'll be my step-daughter."

Lorelai was pleased to see Susan's face fall and she tried to recover.

"Oh, I wasn't aware of that, well congratulations." Realizing her manners were missing, she turned to Lorelai as well. "To both of you. Well, I must get going, we still have quite a long afternoon ahead of us." She smiled wanly.

As they left Lorelai grabbed Luke's arm and whispered, "Do you know that in all the times I've met that woman she never once said that her name was Susan? I'm not sure I'm letting you go to any more of Jess' classes by yourself."

Luke was enjoying the feeling of having Lorelai a little territorial and yet he didn't want to risk that feeling growing, so he showed her the rest of the classes on his card. "Not that you'd have a cause to worry, I'll stick with what I have, but there're no other female teachers that Jess has listed and you really don't have to worry about any of the males." He leaned in and kissed her gently as they walked down the hallway.

They split up for the next two classes and came back together for English Lit. Just as they're about to go into the class, Lorelai groaned.

Luke was concerned and whispered, "Lorelai, are you all right?"

"Not so much, the next guy is the one who asked me out, I didn't realize that Rory had him for both semesters as well." Luke could feel his hackles rise and he gripped Lorelai's hand a bit tighter.

Max saw them come in together holding hands. Isn't that just too sweet he thought to himself. This guy looks like every Chilton dad in his expensive overcoat and suit. He looked like one of those corporate guys who never read a classic novel in his life but made money hand over fist in something like construction. He again took roll and was surprised to see this guy raised his hand as Luke Danes, his list said 'guardian of Jess Mariano.' Well that's a surprise, maybe Lorelai just met this guy and the other one fell through.

During the time in his class Max honed in on the parents and asked a few questions about books they've read and he mentioned the book the class would start next. "The next book is a Pulitzer prize winner by Annie Dillard. It's about her everyday life in her back yard. Mr. Danes, why do you think a book like that would win a Pulitzer?" Max was in his element and loved putting these parents in their places.

Luke recognized a testosterone challenge when it was placed before him so he took a moment, looked this Max character straight in the eye and answered, "I imagine it would have to do with the fact that we're given opportunities to fully enjoy this life everyday, but we pass those opportunities up without even recognizing them. So all the gifts that are available to each of us are rarely received, and a gift that is not received might as well never been given." He enjoyed seeing Max pale and he couldn't help but add, "I imagine it also has to do with the quality of her writing."

"So, you read Pilgrim at Tinker's Creek?" Max was astounded.

"Yep." Mercifully for everyone the bell rang.

"Lorelai, could I speak with you before you go please?" Max called out to her and inwardly she cringed.

Lorelai had a death-grip on Luke's hand as she turned to Max. "Yes, Mr. Medina?"

"Well, this only concerns Rory's parents, so perhaps if Mr. Danes will wait outside?"

Lorelai looked up at Luke who was looking straight ahead at Max and she got a wicked smile on her face, "Well, Mr. Medina, Luke will be Rory's step-father in a little more than a month. So I think you can raise any questions or concerns in front of him."

Luke had locked eyes with Max and as Lorelai talked he got a wicked grin on his face.

"I see, well the thing is," Max was searching for something he could discuss with both of them. Married! Damn. "Rory seems to be building in popularity this year and I'm the faculty advisor for the student council next year so I think it would be good for her to consider running for student government."

Lorelai was also enjoying this man's discomfort but to be nice she simply said, "I'll mention it to her when I see her. We're all having dinner with my family this evening so this will be a nice topic to bring up. I believe we need to get going now, I think we have lunch next right Luke?"

She smiled up at her fiancé. Luke never took his eyes off of Max until she addressed him directly, then he looked at her and smiled. "I think that's your favorite subject these days, good-bye Mr. Medina."

As they left she whispered, "Did you really read that book?"

"Nah, Jess did for Harrington and we talked about it a couple of weeks ago, I just remembered what he said they discussed in that class and son of a gun, it must have merit." Luke grinned broadly as Lorelai laughed and slapped him on the arm.

"I'm still amazed that you remembered the conversation, most of the Chilton drivel Rory talks about is gone the next morning."

"Well, this one had good points and there wasn't much to distract me, unlike others I might mention who carry on conversations with a television in the background." Luke leaned down to kiss her gently which Lorelai avoided.

"Hey mister, I have many multitasking skills!"

"Oh, I know." Luke said with a wicked grin. He grabbed her as she squealed and drew her near before he kissed her soundly.

Later at the Gilmore's Emily greeted them at the door herself.

"She's coming!" she hissed.

"Who, God?" Lorelai was confused; she'd never seen her mother so distraught except… "Uh, oh, Gran?"

"Yes, Gran," Emily mocked Lorelai's tone. "How could you invite that awful woman?! Now I'll be a wreck the entire wedding!"

"Mom, what did you want me to do? She's dad's mother. I couldn't exactly tell him that she wasn't fitting on the guest list she gave birth to him, which eventually resulted in you giving birth to me. We're kinda connected, unless you want to use this time in my life to tell me I'm adopted, which is fine with me. Insanity seems to run in this family."

Luke commented, "Then you're definitely not adopted."

Lorelai backhanded him without missing a beat, "Mom, when is Gran getting here? The wedding isn't for another four weeks."

"She's coming in the day before the wedding, just when everything is most in an uproar! And she's going to want me to pay attention to her like I'm going to have anytime for that! You know she's going to want to come to the rehearsal dinner too! Imagine what she's going to say when I tell her it's taking place at the groom's home!"

Luke and Jess were standing inside the door waiting to be let into the foyer. Luke was watching this powerhouse who intimidated everyone else shrink into a quivering mass of goo right before his eyes. If it wasn't so sad it'd be enjoyable.

Rory was trying to figure out what to do to calm her grandmother down and so she said, "Grandma, maybe it won't be so bad. Gran is only going to be here for a few days and mom and I can help distract her right?"

"Rory, your mother's getting married and then I assume will be somewhere on her honeymoon, unless you're staying above the diner?" Emily looked disgustingly at Luke.

"Nope, no diner," was all he said, he was starting to enjoy this just a little bit.

"There, you see? No one will be here to help distract her venomous barbs from me. The least you could have done is to marry into Hartford society and lived a life that your grandmother won't criticize me for. But no, you have to marry for love, to some poor man who owns a diner. Well at least Jess is going to Chilton too, so maybe I can focus her on how the children will be better than the parent's generation. See Rory, your mother doesn't care, your grandfather doesn't care, no one cares how that woman affects me!"

"Hey Mom? Why don't we go into the living room and get you a nice big drink? I'm sure this will all look a little bit better with a couple shots of Crown Royal in you, huh?"

"Fine, your father is probably wondering where we all are. Hello Rory, hello Jess. Have you had a good week at Chilton?" It was as though a switch had been thrown and Emily robot came back on line. Lorelai looked at Luke and just shook her head.

The rest of dinner went as thought the opening dialogue of the Gilmore Melodrama never occurred. Lorelai was wondering if this day could get any weirder when Emily looked up from her squab and said, "Hat-rack!"

Lorelai looked at her and said, "What?"

Emily looked again and said, "Nothing. Lorelai, I need to stop by the inn on Monday to, to, to…" Emily is searching frantically to come up with a reason to see Lorelai on Monday. "Measure for the runner."

"Mom, we have all the measurements at the inn, I can fax them to you." Lorelai is confused.

"That's fine." Emily goes back to her food, and then looks up at Lorelai again triumphant!

"I want to see where the tent is going to be set up so I can make sure that we have enough lights."

"Mom," Lorelai lowered her voice and talked softly as one would to a crazy person, "The lights are already in the shed, we use them for a lot of events."

"Doesn't matter, I want to see it."

"O-kay," Lorelai goes back to her tiny bird, dirty, and figures she'll plan on seeing her mom on Monday. Whatever.

"Lorelai, come help me in the kitchen," Emily is standing up looking at Lorelai.

"Mom, don't you have maids and cooks to help you? Isn't that why you pay them?"

"For goodness sake Lorelai! Please come into the kitchen with me!"

Lorelai shot a glance at Luke who just shrugged and she followed Emily into the kitchen.

"I need the hat-rack!" Emily clutched at Lorelai's arm.

"Oh, my God you need a doctor!"

"No, the hat-rack I gave you for Christmas a few years back, it's large, bronze with dragons or weasels - I don't know, some sort of lizard type animal that you hang your coats on."

"Yeah, I remember. You want it back?" Lorelai is sure she's entered the Twilight Zone.

"Just until your grandmother leaves, then you can have it back." Emily is saying this as though it's the most natural conversation to be having with someone.

"Mom, why would you want a gift you gave me back?" Light dawns on Lorelai! "Oh, my God, you're a 're-gifter'! Gran gave you that hideous thing and now you want it back?"

"Only until she's gone. Is it in your foyer?"

"Are you kidding Mom? There are weasels on the thing!"

"See, you didn't like it either!" Emily states as if she has a point.

"But I kept it, I didn't give it to someone else. At least I think I still have it."

"Lorelai don't toy with me! I'll be at the Inn on Monday at one o'clock and you will have that hat-rack for me!" Emily turned and walked back into the dinning room.

On the way home Luke looked at Lorelai and said, "My what an interesting day we've had, first the two desperate teachers at Chilton who hit on us, then your mother's two personalities vying for attention during our visit and I actually felt sorry for her. I don't think anything else could surprise me tonight."

Lorelai looked over at him and said, "My mother's a re-gifter."

"Ok, that'd just about do it."

They rode the rest of the way home in silence.