Kindred - Part Five

He didn't look around as the door behind him hissed open.

There was something calming about the breeze off the sea, redolent with salt and heavy with brine. John figured it was an association back to his childhood - the four years his family spent in Vandenburg while his dad was stationed at the nearby Air Force base.

It was probably one of the reasons that Atlantis felt so much likehome to him.

"You are not going to play cards tonight?"

As Teyla drew up beside him at the railing, he glanced at her but turned his face back to the sunset. The poker nights were a semi-regular occurrence, played with matchsticks rather than money - matchsticks that could be traded in for bonus 'treats' at mess times. It was a chance not only to relax, but also socialise - particularly between the various strata of the expedition. Usually, John was happily in there, throwing down his bets and winning and losing according to how his luck ran. Tonight... "I'm not really in the mood."

He was feeling restless - as restless as the wind that whipped around him, chilly in the air as the sun set. He'd been restless since they returned from the Noyian planet.

Maybe it was just his conflict with Khenar Lian, maybe just the fact that the Noyians had all that Ancient tech and weren't going to give it to them anytime soon, or maybe it was just a mood coming upon him.

Maybe it was that Teyla had been pensive ever since they returned to Atlantis, looking at the city with eyes that seemed to measure what had become familiar against what had been familiar.

Atlantis was home to John, as much for the people as for the weather, but he knew the city welcomed him. He felt a sense ofbelonging here that would have been just as strong if it had been him, alone in the city, walking through empty corridors, discovering the Ancient devices that glowed at his touch.

He didn't imagine that Teyla had the same sense of belonging to the city.

That didn't mean she didn't belong here.

John had closed his eyes against the brilliant orange-scarlet rays, but she sighed as she turned to leave, disconcerted by his silence.

"So," he said without looking around, "Not planning a trip back to see the Noyians anytime soon?"

She didn't take the first step away, "I would be little more welcome than you, Colonel," she replied. "At least for a while."

"Because you didn't stay?"

"Because they will be too busy determining whom they have lost and what they will do."

John opened his eyes at her reproachful tones and turned towards her. "Didn't you say you were going to go back?" She'd mentioned it as they prepared themselves for the flight back across the planet to the Stargate and Atlantis and again in the debriefing.

Teyla shrugged and came to stand by him at the railing. "I did," she confirmed. "However, it will not be soon." Her eyes found his. "And I will not be speaking of the Ancient devices during those first few visits. It will take them some time to accept that they can benefit from what we are offering. The Noyians are a practical people, they will see the benefit in what you offer them."

"What we offer them," John corrected her, including her in the association. "You're a part of Atlantis, too, Teyla."

She shrugged, then winced and began rolling her shoulders. "Ronon and I are...different," she confessed. "Lian saw it. You have accepted us, but all the same, we do not fit among your people."

"That's not a reason to leave."

"No," she agreed. "It is not. If you have not noticed, neither Ronon nor I feel any need to leave Atlantis at the present time."

It was the time clause that bothered him. "And in the future?"

Teyla turned towards him. "I do not know what the future holds," she said with some asperity. "It may be that something will cause me to leave Atlantis - but I can see nothing at this stage."

"Good." The word escaped him before he could censor it, and he scrambled to cover his ass. "I mean...we'd miss you. We're used to you by now." Inspiration struck. "And who'd be left in Atlantis to kick my butt and keep me humble?"

Her smile was swift and wry. "I am sure you would find someone to keep you humble, Colonel. You survived for many years before we met."

"Yeah, well, I'm used to you by now," he said, keeping his voice light.

John wished he could keep his thoughts as light, but Lian's voice kept replaying in his head. Who was it woke the Wraith up in such numbers; leaving us prey to their depredations?

He'd never discussed this with Teyla - not directly. They'd danced around it the first few days she was in Atlantis, simply speaking of how to fight the Wraith without any mention of why it was such a priority. Now he wanted to know - for better or worse.

"Lian blamed me for the Wraith in Pegasus," John said after a second's hesitation. He turned to stare back out at the sea so he wouldn't have to see her expression. "Do you?"

The silence was filled with the evening wind's lonely whistle and the gentle wash of the tide over the piers far below them. "You woke the Wraith in greater numbers than has been heard of since the last Great Culling," she said at last. "So, yes, you have brought these circumstances down upon us."

John exhaled slowly. On one hand, he knew he was responsible for the number of Wraith that were active through the galaxy. On the other, knowing it himself was very different to hearing her say it.

A gust of wind shuddered through him, chilling him to the bone, and he shivered and tried to let it pass - tried to let her words pass through him - to let them not matter.

She touched his shoulder.

"However, you and the others in Atlantis have stayed to fight the Wraith. I do not forget that, and neither does Ronan. That is why we stay."

"You know that at least part of it's because of Atlantis." It wasn't just responsibility that kept the expedition here, although John knew it was a significant part of both his and Elizabeth's personal reasons for sticking this out.

Teyla's mouth curved in a slight smile. "I know. That does not change that you are doing what you can."

"And when we beat the Wraith?"

"Then I have no doubt that Ronon will re-evaluate his life and his goals," she said. "As will I and my people. But I do not think that day is too near."

"It may be nearer than you think."

Teyla gave him a sidelong look. "As is the day when Rodney's superior intellect will beat you at cards?"

John snorted, feeling a lot better. "The only way Rodney would manage that is if he took the pack of cards and beat me over the head with it." He pushed up from his slouch at the railing. "Although I suppose he's boasting again?"

"When is he not?" The limpid smile gave a mischievous cast to her face, almost spritely. It wasn't a side of her she showed to many people, and John appreciated that he was one of the trusted. "Does that mean you will join us for cards?"

"If I have a reputation to keep, then, yes." He indicated the path back to the door. "Shall we?"

She led the way, but at the door, John touched her arm, turning her to face him. "Teyla?"

"Colonel?"

There were a lot of things he could have said - so many things he wanted to say. I'm sorry about the Wraith. I'm glad we have you on our side. I'm glad you're staying with us. He settled for, "Thanks."

One brow arched, delicate as a bird's wing lifting. "You are welcome, John."

And with a faint, self-conscious smile, John went into Atlantis and the people who awaited him there.

- fin -

NOTES: Thank you so much for reading this story! I hope you enjoyed it, and will leave feedback to let me know how I did.