Pray

Chapter 15

I keep going to the river to pray

Cause I need something can wash out the pain

And God knows, I'm sleeping all these demons away

But your ghost, the ghost of you it keeps me awake.

Renesmee leaned against the black Mini Cooper, pushing her bronze hair out of her eyes as she started at the building in front of her. It hadn't changed much, in fact it was in dire need of a paint job, but other than that it still looked the same. It still had the same white picket fence and grey windows that looked out on the street with the same sad, yellow curtains hanging in front of them. In front of the house stood a large oak tree, the only one on the street. The mailbox used to be a bright red, but now it was a sad, washed out colour. The Seattle weather had not been kind to the house, the rain drops looked like tears on the windows and it washed away any colour, giving the impression that happiness was also being washed away.

"So this is it?" Abs asked as she joined Renesmee, leaning against the car as well. Renesmee nodded, bringing her coffee cup to her lips and taking a small sip. "It looks awful."

"It's been years," Renesmee said, not really paying attention to Abs as she lost herself in her past.

I stared at the ceiling. It was completely white, plain and boring, just like my life. I was put into foster care when I was a baby; my real parents had died in a car crash, leaving me with no family. I've been in foster care for 15 years now, ever since I was two. I guess I am just destined to be in foster care until I turn 18. I sighed and looked back up to the ceiling. I don't know why I was so fascinated by it, maybe because it reflected my life so well; miserable, plain and boring. Suddenly there was a knock on my door.

"Come in!" I yelled, too lazy to get up.

"Renesmee, there is someone here who wants to see you," Zoe said, poking her head into my room. I sat up slowly, pushing my bronze curls out of my eyes. Zoe looked at me, her hazel eyes filled with excitement. I wonder what she's so excited about. Zoe was my social worker, the tenth one in the last five years. It wasn't like I was a problem child, it's just that no one wants to adopt teenager besides pimps and various others. They kept thinking that giving me a new social worker would get my adopted, but that obviously didn't work.

"Why would someone want to see me?' I asked, getting up from the bed and walking towards the door.

"I don't know, they said they wanted to adopt a girl between the ages of 15-17," she smiled, obviously pleased with herself that she may get me adopted.

"They wouldn't want me," I sighed. No one wants me. Zoe pulled me into a hug, which was kind of awkward since she was shorter me.

"Don't worry kiddo; I'm sure they'll love you."

I received quite a shock as I stumbled into the waiting room. The people that wanted to adopt me looked…..nice. The woman smiled at me, she had caramel brown hair and a heart shaped face. The man beside her was busy reading a wildlife magazine. He had bleach blonde hair and pale blue eyes; he was one of those guys who had classic rock star looks. The woman stood up and held out her hand.

"I'm Esme Cullen, it is so nice to meet you," she smiled a sweet smile, both her dimples showing.

"I'm Renesmee, nice too meet you too," I said, shaking her hand. They seem very nice, but it is strange that they want to adopt a teenager; they looked too young for that. The man beside her smiled warmly and put an arm around her shoulder.

"I'm Dr. Carlisle Cullen, but you can call me Carlisle," he said and I shook his hand as well.

"Renesmee the Cullen's would like to adopt you," Zoe said and Esme nodded.

"We have a lovely home in Forks, and the rest of our children are also adopted." So they adopted a lot of kids? Maybe Esme couldn't have kids of her own, that's why they adopted.

"Why don't we step into my office and discuss this further," Zoe said holding her office door open and beckoning the Cullen's inside. I sat down on one of the chairs and picked up the magazine Carlisle was reading, he had left it open on the table. It looks like he was reading an article on kittens. I settled into the chair with the magazine, hoping they would adopt me.

Renesmee clutched her coffee cup tighter, as if it was her only anchor to the present. What would have happened to her if the Cullens hadn't adopted her? What would her life be like now? It wouldn't be the same that's for sure. She wouldn't have been able to go to a decent University, she wouldn't have met Alec or Riley or any of her friends. She wouldn't have a loving family like she has now, she would be all on her own.

Maybe that wasn't such a bad thing, sure she wouldn't be as privileged, but she would have worked hard to get somewhere. Maybe she would have met Riley here in Seattle, fallen in love with him and actually stayed in love. She loved him, she really did, but she was unsure if she was still in love with him. Maybe in another lifetime at the right time and the right place.

"Are you okay?" Abs' voice broke her out of her thoughts and she shook her head to clear it. She couldn't dwell on the 'what ifs' and the 'maybe's' of her past, she had to keep moving forward.

"I think I want to leave Riley." Renesmee blinked, shocked at the words that just came out of her mouth. She had no idea she was going to say that, but when she did it felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Abs' mouth hung open as she stared at Renesmee, equally shocked at her revelation. It seemed like she was trying really hard to string together the right words, but nothing came out.

"Why?" Abs finally stuttered.

"I'm not in love with him," Renesmee said softly, again shocked by what she was revealing. It was like the connection between her brain and her mouth was severed, but at the same time she knew that she was telling the truth. Riley was great, he was the perfect boyfriend, he was there for her when she needed him, her family approved of him, he was good-looking and charming and honestly he deserved so much more. She couldn't give him what he wanted when she wasn't even sure of what she wanted herself.

Renesmee could see that Abs was completely unsettled and bewildered. Abs was at a loss for words, something that's never happened before. She had no idea how to handle this situation. Renesmee and Riley were both her friends and she didn't want to see them break up, although she didn't want them to be miserable together.

"What are you going to do?" Abs asked cautiously.

Renesmee looked back to her old foster home, the place where it all began.

"I'm going to end it."

My friends had you figured out

Yeah they saw what's inside of you

You tried hiding another you

But your evil was coming through

Later that night Renesmee, Riley, Abs, Jace, Cass and Shawn were all seated around the Biers' large dining room table. There was enough food in the room to end world hunger, but Shawn and Jace have made it their mission to eat as much as possible.

"I can't…" Jace mumbled as he filled up his third plate. "I'm so full."

"Don't be a chicken, loosen your belt and eat," Shawn commanded as he shovelled some baby potatoes into his mouth. Jace looked like he was about to be sick, but he must have been more afraid of Shawn because he undid his belt and started eating again. Cass and Abs just shook their heads at the monkeys they called their boyfriends and continued their discussion about what the weather was doing to their hair.

"I just can't stop it from frizzing like crazy," Cass said, grabbing a stray curl and pushing it back in place. "No matter what I try."

Abs looked down at her own relatively straight hair and shrugged. "Mine isn't giving me any problems. Just go with it, we're only here until next week."

Cass scoffed, mumbling about her frizzy hair as she took a bite of her chicken. The food was good, there was no doubt about that. Renesmee helped herself to seconds as well even though she was full, but it was too good to stop. She wasn't really paying attention to anyone around the table and Riley started to pick up that she didn't want to talk. He wondered how long this was going to continue before she actually talked to him about what was going on. There was a wall between them, and knowing Renesmee he shouldn't push too hard against the wall or she might break with it as well.

"You two better hurry, we have a party to get to," Riley told Shawn and Jace. They were on their fourth helping and it was clear they were planning on rolling to the New Year's party. Renesmee played with her food, looking down at her gold strapless dress. It was way too flashy for her, but Cass made her wear it because it made her look like a goddess. She had to admit, her bronze hair worked well with the gold, so she let Cass play dress up. Riley got them on the VIP list of one of the hottest clubs in Seattle; The Red Room. It sounded like something straight out of Fifty Shades of Grey, but they were throwing a huge party and there was going to be alcohol, so who wouldn't want to go to The Red Room?

"If I eat anymore my pants won't fit," Jace groaned as he pushed his plate away and declared that he would never eat again.

"Fine, the food win this one," Shawn grumbled as he too pushed his plate away.

"Don't worry baby, the food wins every time," Cass smirked and winked at Shawn, who just glared at her.

Half an hour later they were all gathered around the bar of the Red Room, lining up the tequila shots.

"So freshman, want to make a little bet?" Shawn nudged Renesmee, waggling his eyebrows the same way Emmett waggled his when he was up to no good. Renesmee raised her eyebrows, leaning closer to him to hear what he had in mind.

The Red Room was packed. Ironically enough it didn't look anything like the Fifty Shades of Grey red room. The walls were red and covered with posters of celebs that have been at the club. The dance floor was in the middle of the club, the floor beneath it was flashing red and black along with the lights in the club. Smoke hung in the air and the place smelled like booze and sweat. Bodies were pressing up together and grinding on the dance floor, moving along to the infectious beat. The VIP room was upstairs and looked out over the club. There were dark corners and secluded areas, along with a much smaller dance floor and stripper poles.

"I bet that I can handle my liquor better than you can, and that at the end of the night I'll have to carry you out of this club." Renesmee almost laughed, clearly he's never been at a Cullen party. Her siblings were funny when they were drunk, but it took some hard liquor to get them that far.

"And I bet that you'll pass out before New Year," Renesmee picked up her shot glass, holding it out. "Loser has to streak across campus once we get back to New York"

Shawn's smirk widened and he picked up his glass as well. "We have a deal." Both of them downed the shot, slamming their glasses on the table twice, indicating that they want another round. Looks like the games were on.

I had to go through hell to prove that I'm not insane

Had to meet the devil, just to know his name

That's when my love was burning.

Alec leaned against the bar, watching Renesmee and Shawn as they downed shot after shot. She looked entirely fuckable in that golden dress. He smirked to himself, he would definitely go underneath that dress. They were too drunk to notice him and he got by them fairly easily. He had been in the club since they arrived, hiding in one of the dark corners of the VIP room as a busty blonde showed off her talented mouth to him. He checked his watch, it was only a few minutes to go till midnight and he was about to put Luce's plan into action. Alec winked at the barman, who opened a small packet, pouring the clear contents into Renesmee's next shot when she wasn't looking before handing it to her. He watched as the bronze haired girl downed the shot with vigour, lining the next one up. Shawn was having trouble keeping up with her. Alec admired that about her, she had gotten a lot better had holding her liquor.

Renesmee's vision was blurry and her head was spinning much more than usual. Was this normal? She's never felt like this when she drank before.

"I need some air," Renesmee said to Shawn, but she was sure he didn't hear her. Did she even just move her mouth? She wasn't sure.

She stumbled down the stairs, pushing her way past what felt like a sea of twins and triplets. Was it twins? Or was she seeing double? She pushed the door to the club open, almost falling into it. She felt like she was going to throw up. Why were there so many people on the street…whoa.

Renesmee looked around her, there were little bright lights everywhere. It was beautiful and scary at the same time. It was like thousands of fairies flying around.

"Watch out!" She yelled as two fairies came rushing toward her. Wait, did she yell that? It didn't sound like her voice. She couldn't move, the fairies were very close, they were going to collide.

Suddenly something wrapped around her middle, pulling her out of the fairies' way. Something hard and soft wrapped around her, she was having trouble keeping her eyes open. A figure was standing next to her, his face barely in focus.

"Alec?" This time she was sure it was her own voice, but before she could say anything else everything went black.

Give up the ghost

Stop the haunting please

Give up the ghost.