This was a toughy… I'm still not sure how much I like it. Leon's being an all around pain.

Hopefully, it worked out. And to clear any confusion that even I have picked up on: there is NO animosity between Page of Cups and I. She's just jealous… (Don't kill me, Page.)

--0—0--

Chapter 4: What Have You Done?

The house was blissfully quiet when he finally returned. In silence, Leon climbed the stairs, intent on hitting his bed and immediately passing out. He had spent two hours wandering among the trees and had formed no clear answers to any of the vague questions plaguing his mind.

He still was not certain what the questions were.

Cloud's bedroom door cracked open and tousled blonde hair appeared from behind it. Cloud stepped into the hall, blue eyes glowing eerily in the darkness; "You just getting in?"

"Something like that."

Cloud frowned a little. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

The older man knew he was lying but did not want to get into it this late at night. He nodded once and moved past Leon for the bathroom. "Get some sleep."

"Going to;" The brunette ducked into his room. He did not bother with the lights, simply shedding his clothes as he walked to the bed. He turned the sheets down and nearly threw himself on the mattress.

Twenty minutes later, he was still staring at the ceiling.

He was not getting anywhere and that frustrated him to no end. Something was going on within him and it seemed those barriers he had so painstakingly built around his emotions also prevented them from being revealed to him. Maybe that had been part of the idea. He really did not know anymore.

Eventually, he managed a fitful sleep.

--0—0--

Sunlight warmed his face and he scrunched up his face. The little sleep he had gotten had been full of confusing dreams he did not even want to begin analyzing. He had never been prone to nightmares, just strange, emotionally intense visions that at times he wished would become nightmares.

Some how, he felt a nightmare would be easier to handle.

Sighing he climbed out of bed, sitting on the edge and rubbing his at his hairline. He could hear the faint sounds of movement downstairs. Someone laughed, probably Sora. Everything seemed so normal. Yet, he was up here on the verge of a mental breakdown that he still didn't understand.

He quickly rose. Snap out of it, Leonheart.

He dressed, not bothering to shower and headed down. Sora was indeed the one laughing as Riku told a rather animated story about some of their friends back home. The silver-haired teen was cooking, again, what appeared to be eggs and toast this time. Cloud sat on a bar stool fairly close to Leon, a smile on his face that was quickly becoming normal.

Leon watched the pair of boys by the stove for a long time before Cloud snapped his fingers practically in his face. He jerked a bit and shot a glare in the blonde's direction. "What?"

"I said 'good morning'."

"………."

"Well, someone's grumpy." Riku looked over, a small, worried frown on his beautiful face. Did he just think beautiful? "Sit, this will make you feel better."

Leon reluctantly did as ordered. Sora spun on the furthest stool, grinning. He stopped so he could face the older man. "These are sooo good. You even had real butter! I didn't know we had real butter here."

"We have milk and cheese, Sora. Why wouldn't we have butter?" Cloud calmly stated. "It's just really expensive."

"Well, I'll pay to replace it." Riku smirked. "But I just couldn't pass this up. Mum made these every Sunday morning."

He scooped up the toast, set it on a small plate and placed it before Leon. The eggs Leon had noted earlier were actually fried into the center. "She called them 'eggs in a baskey'. Sora came over every Sunday just for these."

"Yep," Sora agreed, frowning when he noticed that Riku just gave the first one to Leon. Rather than complain, he simply pouted.

Riku noticed and mock pouted right back. "Aw, did I get Sora mad at me?"

The younger one jutted out his lower lip further.

"You can have two, okay?"

Sora nodded and the two older men in the room swore Riku was talking to a three-year-old.

"This is good." Leon retook Riku's attention. "I don't think you've made anything that I haven't liked."

"That isn't hard." Cloud snorted. "You like anything."

Riku turned back to the stove to start the next one. "He doesn't like beans."

"You don't?" Sora looked at him. "I didn't know that."

"That's because you don't pay attention to detail." Riku stated, cracking an egg into the empty center of the frying bread. "I do."

Leon felt something tug at the corner of his lip. It was nice knowing that someone cared enough to remember little things like that about him. He did not delude himself to think that Riku did that only for him but still, the idea was comforting.

The silver-haired teen dropped a 'baskey' before Sora who nearly squealed. The brunette immediately picked it up and began munching happily. Riku shook his head a little, glancing at Leon. "Well?"

"It's quite good."

The teen smiled a bit. "Good."

"So, I can't help but notice I'm being completely ignored over here."

Riku smirked, still looking at Leon. "Did someone just speak?"

"Not that I'm aware of."

"I officially hate you both."

Riku grinned widely, biting his lip and turning to Cloud. "You don't really mean that."

Cloud was glaring. "Try me."

Riku's sigh was so theatrical he should have been given an award. "Well, if that's how you want it. We had a good run, I guess. Didn't think we'd end over eggs and toast."

The glare was still in place, but a muscle in Cloud's cheek twitched.

Riku turned to start another piece of bread. "Of course, now I need someone to rebuild my self-esteem and heal my heart after it has been so ruthlessly crushed."

Cloud's expression softened greatly. "Or you could go for the revenge angle and sleep with my best friend."

"Oh, yeah," Riku looked over his shoulder. He locked eyes with Leon for a moment. "I could see that working."

Suddenly, Leon had to get out of there. He quickly stood and moved away from the bar.

"Where are you going?" asked Sora.

"There are some things I need to check on."

--0—0—

What in the worlds was going on with him?

He leaned on his elbows, staring out at the castle ruins from the Bailey. The cigarette that hung from his mouth was for all intents and purposes, finished, but he did not bother to remove it. So much for quitting that habit…Not that he really cared in the first place.

Leon had stopped by Merlin's for a minute before continuing to his generally acknowledged thinking spot. Aerith had studied him worriedly as he spoke to Cid about a few things and when it got to be too much, he snapped a 'what?' at her. She had gazed at him a moment longer before smiling gently and continuing her previous task.

Sometimes, that woman really got to him.

"There you are. Sora was getting worried about you."

Leon made no reaction.

"Can I bum one of those?"

Grey eyes flicked over to the silvered teen leaning on the stone edge beside him. He held out the pack as he spoke. "I didn't know you smoked."

"I didn't know you did either."

"I quit." He tossed Riku the lighter.

Riku lit his cigarette, handing the lighter back. "So did I, not that I ever really did it much in the first place. It's a stupid habit I picked up along with the darkness…Doesn't really help, but, whatever."

Leon pursed his lips, flicking his dead butt away. "Yeah, I hear that."

"Cloud hates it and Sora, well he's the reason I stopped."

They stood in comfortable silence.

"Cloud's pretty pissed at me." Riku blew out a little ring of smoke. "He seems to have forgotten that no sex for him means no sex for me either."

Oh, poor Cloud.

"You know I really didn't expect you to hold yourself to it."

"Why?" Riku glanced at him with a confused look. "I don't make idle promises or threats. I mean what I say."

His admiration for the guy went up a notch. Why did it seem everything Riku did was not only notable but also seemingly perfect in his mind? He knew the teen had some serious issues and there had to be some faults with him, but he had yet to figure out what they were.

"Don't know," He answered honestly.

The pair fell quiet again. Riku finished the cigarette, tossing it away and turning. Both looked out at the castle now. Neither had a clue what the other was thinking and did not particularly care. If they wanted to talk, they would.

After nearly a half hour, Riku sighed. "I should go find Cloud. He went for a walk so he'll be at the river."

"Likely." Leon turned and faced him. "Cloud really means a lot to you, doesn't he?"

Riku nodded. "I know I'm young and all that but I really want to spend the rest of my life with him, you know? I don't think this is just a first love thing. That was Sora."

That was a surprise. He supposed it should not have been, as the friends were abnormally close. He and Cloud were best friends and Leon knew they would do just about anything for the other but Riku and Sora had taken that to a completely different level.

Riku shrugged. "A lot can happen between then and now."

"It certainly can."

Riku pushed off from the wall. He gave Leon a slight wave and walked off. His steps were sure but that droop to his shoulders and hanging of his head made him seem reluctant. He was such a study in contradiction.

Leon watched until he was out of sight. Then he turned back to the vista.

--0—0—

It was approaching evening when Leon finally decided to head home. He had a tension headache forming and he wanted to simply skip dinner and go to bed. Figures that he'd arrange for two nights of peace and he was unable to appreciate it.

Sora was sitting on the front steps, a slightly concerned look on his face. He glanced up as Leon approached. "Where have to been?"

"Out."

"Huh."

"What's wrong?"

Sora shook his head. "Riku and Cloud have been arguing all day."

"Arguing or being argumentive?" Leon asked. "There's a big difference."

"Well, they aren't fighting but it sure feels like it."

Leon had no idea what Sora expected him to do about this. So they were having problems; all couples had problems. He actually smiled to himself. Cloud was such a hedonist. He wondered if Riku was actually just as driven by sex or if he was simply satisfying his insatiable boyfriend.

"They'll be fine tomorrow night." He moved past the boy, intent on going inside and collapsing on his bed and leaving this day behind him.

Sora raised his head and looked after him. "How do you know?"

"They're just frustrated."

"Frustrated?" Sora parroted.

Leon sighed. He really should have kept his mouth shut. "Yes, Sora. Frustrated."

"Huh." Sora tilted his head thoughtfully. Those blue eyes turned toward him in total innocence. "You've been more cranky today, too. Maybe you're also frustrated."

Something settled itself in Leon's mind but he didn't know what. Though he did understand one thing; he was indeed frustrated. How long had it been since he…? He didn't want to think about it. Of course, he did wonder why he was suddenly so aware of it.

He made a non-committal noise in the back of his throat before going in. He really needed that sleep.

--0—0—

Leon groaned, trying to block out the early sunlight. He had slept but it sure as hell did not feel like it. Today was already shaping up to be lousy. He reluctantly got out of bed, intent on taking a shower. Hopefully that would relax his tense muscles.

His endeavor was interrupted however by the sound of someone aggressively moving things about in Cloud's room. He frowned having an idea of who it was. He did not want to get involved but his feet had already taken him over to stand outside the door.

It was cracked open and he caught a flash of silver hair.

"Riku?" He nudged the door open a bit further.

The teen looked at him for a bare second before turning away. It was long enough, however, for Leon to see the bright, moist look to those aqua eyes. He pursed his lips and after a moment's hesitation, he stepped into the room. "Hey, Leon."

The man said nothing, just watching Riku and he jerkily went about making the bed.

"So what's on the schedule for today?" Riku sat on the floor to pull on his shoes.

"I'd like for you to keep working on the computer."

Riku frowned. He got his last shoe on and looked up beneath his veil of bangs. Both knees were up and he rested his arms on them casually. "Will anyone else be there?"

Leon tilted his head. "They'll be in and out."

Aqua eyes narrowed a bit and Riku worried his lip. "Can I work with you today? I don't think it's a good idea for me to be alone for too long."

That was when the former SeeD noticed the haunted look in his eyes, the odd tremor to his movements. Something was deeply troubling the young man. The darkness was something Leon knew little about and understood even less. He barely knew Riku when one got down to it.

"If you want but I've got a lot rather physical work for today."

Riku climbed to his feet. "That sounds perfect."

--0—0—

Riku shoved another cart of copper piping toward the group charged with piecing together the water distribution system. Leon watched him from the corner of his eye, marveling at how different the teen was from Cloud.

Riku had been doing this for hours now with the same amount of energy. The kid was obviously strong, his lean muscled upper body testified to that, but even Leon knew that by now even he would be showing some sign of fatigue. Cloud would have given up after the third cart.

It was getting close to lunch now and Leon was debating whether to go ahead a call the break or wait for Aerith or one of her messengers to arrive. He was saved the decision by the arrival of Sora who bounded in with a large bag. He had a huge grin on his face and he dropped the package before Leon. "Lunch."

"I guessed that." He replied dryly.

Riku was heading back toward them, a wary but content look upon him. "There better be a lot in that bag. I'm starving."

"I'm not surprised. You didn't eat breakfast." Sora regarded him seriously. "Are you doing better now?"

"Yeah."

"Good." Sora began rummaging through the bag. "Aerith made something special for you. Now if I can find it…"

Riku shook his head. "She really didn't have to."

"Yes, she did." Leon countered. "That's what she does when she hears any of us are having a rough time. Since you're Cloud's boyfriend, she really going to pay attention to you. She's extremely protective of him."

"I noticed."

"Here." Sora withdrew a large, carefully wrapped item. "Now you're supposed to take this and go to the Postern."

"The Postern? Why?"

The younger of the pair bit his lip. "Cloud's waiting there."

Riku studied him a second, an expression of relief taking his face. "How long is lunch?"

Leon wanted to say a half hour. "An hour but if you're late, I won't be too hard on you."

Riku grinned. On impulse, he threw his arms around Leon's neck. He said a quick thank you, releasing him. Then he grabbed the food from Sora and raced out the door.

"You realize he's not coming back." Sora snickered. When Leon didn't reply, he glanced up. The man was simply staring down the route Riku had taken. The boy frowned and lightly shoved the other. "Leon?"

Grey eyes slowly turned to him. Leon said nothing and walked away in the opposite direction, not taking anything to eat with him. Sora watched after him, wondering just what had been up with the man lately.

--0—0—

Leon climbed the outside metal steps to the roof. He had to clear his head and fast. He only had one explanation for what he was suddenly feeling and it simply was not possible. There was no way it could be possible.

He hopped the short ledge and stalked toward the other side. Stopping before the climate control box, he braced his hands against it. Why had it bothered him so much that Riku was going to Cloud? The blonde was his lover. It made perfect sense that they'd want to see each other.

He bit down the faint taste of bile in the back of his throat. He was not jealous of them. Even as he told himself this, he realized the folly of the statement. It wasn't them he was getting so reactive about.

It was him.

Riku was a great guy with a wonderful sense of humor and a thoughtful, contemplative side which was fascinating to be privy to. Conversation came easy with him, something that was extremely rare to find. There was this aura about him that drew people to him. Something about the silvered one simply captured one's attention and there was a deep sadness Leon wanted desperately to find a cure for.

He released the metal casing and violently kicked at it. This was not happening. He would not allow it to. Riku had Cloud and Cloud needed him. They were happy together, so painfully obviously in love.

What the hell was wrong with him? What had Riku done?