Through my lovers eyes
by missteff
June 2014

chapter 3

"Castle-" she yells shaking her head at me. "Don't-"
Placing my hand over the receiver, I turn away from her. "What his name again?" I glance back at her over my shoulder, hoping she wasn't to angry with me. We need their help. I need some info fast to help her find him. When I got no response from her, I turn around: she wasn't there. Walking to the kitchen area I glance around. I notice that everyone is now gone. my daughter, my mother and Beckett have just disappeared on me. why?

"Are you there Castle?" I hear someone call from the phone, I was intensely trying to figure out where
everyone could have gone I forgot I had the boys on the line.

"Yes, I'm still here. Can you guys run a name for me?" My mother, who comes back into the room mouths something to me.
"A Rogan, O'Leary," I relay into the phone.

"Who is that?" Ryan asks me.

"um..." Martha shakes her head, giving me one of those, 'I can't believe that you would tell on Beckett' looks.
I had to come up with a lie.

"A friend," I answer after a brief hesitation. "A friend that we wanted to invite to the wedding that was left
off the list." I try to make this lie more convincing.

"Well, then why don't you have Beckett run it for you?" he responds like he thought I was just using him. which I was in a way, but he never minded before and well I...we were running out of time. I need this done quickly. I couldn't hurt Beckett again. She was already hurt enough today.

"Cause she uh busy getting other things ready."

"She doesn't know does she?" Esposito adds adding to the mix.

"um..." my mother shakes her head again and leaves to the kitchen area. "No she doesn't it's a surprise. I don't want her to know that I'm doing this for her."

"You do know..." I cut him off abruptly, knowing what he was going to say. Something that I knew was true but didn't want to hear it out loud.

"Come on guys. I really need your help on this one."

"She's going to kill you if she finds out." Ryan went on to say, anyway.

"That's why you can't tell her. Well, right now you can't." I whisper, "I don't know if I can find this guy."

Beckett renters the room with Alexis. "Please guys help me try to find this guy, I need your help. I don't know where to to turn.
If not for me at least do this for Beckett."

"I'm..." Beckett starts to say and then Alexis adds. "We.." with her evil grin.

"Are going to kill you." Martha steps in front of them. I hold the phone away from my face covering it.

"Look all you said, was that that we need to locate this guy and that's what I'm doing,"
I try to give her the most convince saddest look I could muster. "I'm asking for help."

"Castle," she yells shouting my name. "You didn't..." she yells, Martha grabs Beckett by the arm holding her back from lunging at me.

"I told them this was a friend that I was trying to find for you not that..." I swallow seeing that Ryan was right, she was trying to kill me.

"I'm grasping at straws here." I let some tears fall. "I love you!" My heart pounds as I continue shouting. I could taste the salt as the warm tears made their way over the bumps of my cheeks and land on my lips.

"I thought they could help us. I didn't..." I sniff. Martha let her loose. I think that my mother deliberately wants Kate to knock some sense into me. I swallow harder this time; not knowing what Kate would do next. I did, however know what she was capable of though. She was always determined to get what she wanted but would she hurt me?

From the way she looks right now anything is possible. That is what scared me the most. I really thought by going 'behind her back' and yes that's what I did, that she was going to take a lunge at me after my mother let her go.

She slowly walks closer to me "Thank you," she whispers. "for doing this for me." I can read in her eyes that she is grateful that I didn't tell the whole world that she was already married. She was already freaking out that I, along with Martha and Alexis knew.

"They don't always need to know your business, all the time, as for me though I do. See what I did there again, using 'I do'."

"Castle," she drags out my name. That was a good sign that meant that she was changing moods. Still holding my phone to my ear in case the boys start talking, I walk towards the couch.

"Now I just hope the boys came up with something useful for us." I sit down on the couch next to Beckett. I was glade that she didn't move away.

That act tells me that maybe she has forgiving me for this or at least part of it. I can only hope. On the phone I can hear that Ryan typing away at his computer. I nod I just hope that he can come up with something. Anything to find out about this guy. He is the best man for the job on finding anything about anyone. I turn my head slightly, so that I can see Beckett out of the corner on my eye. She seems to be a little bit more calm but I know that she doesn't always share all her feelings with me outright. "I must be on speaker phone," I say, "I can hear movement in the background."

"That's so that Esposito can weigh in too I bet." I put my finger to my mouth, put the phone on the table in front of us and click the speaker button. I thought I let her listen to this as well since we are all in this together.

"And now you are too." I whisper, she smiles at my gesture. We both sit nervously waiting for the typing noises to stop. "Did you..." I call out, not wanting this to drag on any longer.

"Hold on." Ryan says, then the typing continues. "We're still pulling up pages. Ryan comments after a few seconds. Then another short pause.

"Okay, it looks like we've found him. But man Beckett's friend a piece of work."

"Bro, do you really want this guy at your wedding?" Esposito voice comes through the phone now.

"Boy did he get around." We both gasp,

"What is it?" I asks, shooting a concerned look at Beckett. "Really, is he that bad guys?" I take her hand in mine expecting them to say that he was a murder or rapist. She blinks. I just hope that finding this guy was not going to be the death of us. I move closer to her, hoping that that would give her some reassurance, that I was there if she needs me. "He was charged with theft in Austin in '05, he did time for a DUI in '07." Esposito continues, I let out a sigh of relieve. At least he didn't kill anyone.

"He was arrested for fraud in Kentucky and oh, this is a good one, he was put in jail for impersonating an FBI agent in New Orleans." Ryan adds. Beckett gasp at everything that this guy has done in the past fifteen years.

"Castle, are you sure this is the guy that Beckett wants at her wedding...I mean... He sounds like he's nothing but bad news bro. Why would you want him at the wedding?"

"Yeah Castle what are you trying to do ruin the best day of Beckett's life?" Beckett closes her eyes my bet was to keep from crying at that last comment.
No, I don't want this guy anywhere near Beckett. But I have to put all that aside and help find him. So I can give her the best day of her life.

"Do you know where he is now?" I asks them. I know that I might regret that later if it turns out to be a bust.

"Yeah." Ryan answers, not to pleased with my suggestion to keep looking for this guy. "It looks like he settled in a small town in upstate New York called Willow Creek about five years ago. That's all the info we could find. That doesn't mean..." I knew what he was going to say but I didn't want to hear it out loud. That he wasn't there and this was a waist of time chasing a possible ghost.

"Can you send me that contact information?" I asks abruptly cutting him off. I hear the two boys sigh in the background.

"Texting to your phone right now. Castle, be careful around this guy."

"Oh, Castle," Beckett mouths jumping up from the couch in one of those 'I'm ready' stances. I hold
up my stop sign hand. "shhh. Pipe down." I whisper back.

After 3 silence-piercing beeps alert me that I have a new text I quickly grab up my cell off the table swiping with a flash of my thumbs turning of speaker before I took another breath.

"Thanks guys, for doing this for us...me." I quickly recover hoping that those words would slip through their heads without registering. "We...I..." there I did it again almost blowing my cover.

"Owe you a lot." More than they will ever know. If this info is correct, and we can find this guy. I will than have him sign her over to me and- That's not how it was meant to sound but that's how I felt. If it wasn't for this guy then we would have been on our way to being a real loving husband and wife.

"Whatever man, just do as Ryan says, be careful. No telling whatever else this guy has done, that's not in the records. I don't want to see either one of you get hurt by bringing this guy back into your...her life." We hang up. Was he making fun of the way that I used my words or was that a hint that he knew something else was going on here. I shake off the thought. Sometimes I read too much into sub texting too. I don't think that the two of them even pick up on it as much as writer's do. Oh well. I turn to Kate, "I must say, given his record, I'm really surprised that you stayed with him all these years." She rolls her eyes at my quip, trying to reach for the phone in my hand. I slip farther way from her out stretched grasp.

"Castle, I need that contact info," her voice becomes louder than her normal tone. She reaches out again, this time with more force. "Hand over the phone. Now!" She shouts at me.

"First things first, you need to calm down," I shout back unexpectedly at her.

"Calm down? How can you say that to me!" She continues, her words reverberating up into the high ceiling. "You know how much this means to me? To us?"

"Yes, yes I do-and I also know if you go out there in this state it would be dangerous, not only for you but anyone that happens to be in your way. That's why-you need-" Our back and forth shouting gets the attention of both my mother and daughter, who bust in on us. Great just what we need-an audience.

to be continued...