*warning M content*

*warning AMY AND LIAM WILL BE HAVING SEX IN THIS CHAPTER*

*I'll probably get a lot of hate for this but I've written so much karmy that I just wanted to try this out*

*if liam and amy ever actually happened I'd see them happening just like this*

Chapter 3

Fuck The Pain Away

Part I

In the parking lot after school Karma walked by Liam's car and accidentally saw them. She wasn't trying to pry. She didn't even know they would be there. But they were there and they were holding each other. It was so bizarre. They both looked so sad.

She had done this. This was all her fucking fault.

She hurried off to her car and drove home as quick as she could. Nothing could erase it though. She had driven them into each other's arms by being careless and idiotic and having absolutely no foresight, no way of thinking about how what she does could have repercussions.

The rage filled her, the rage from the beginning of summer. It was the rage she thought she had overcome but she lost at that, she really did.

At home, instead of crying, she changed into gym clothes and forced herself to go work out.

Part II

"Want a coke, Aim?"

"Yes, please," Amy sighed. Ever since the wedding she'd been spending a lot of time at Liam's house. His parents were hardly ever there and it was better with him. Lauren and Farrah weren't on her back all the time, trying to get her to feel better and no one could come looking for her except maybe Shane. Liam was somehow great at that, feeling her out. It was like everything with them ran on intuition and quiet kindness. Amy didn't have to talk. She could just be. And he was okay with that, in fact, he actually liked it a lot.

He opened the coke and handed it to her. Sitting down on the couch he raised his arm up on the back like he usually did and Amy came to him, leaning close with her head on his chest so that he would hold her. Somehow it felt safe with him, even though it was fake.

Part III

At the gym Karma noticed Lauren right away. It was weird because they weren't friends but they weren't enemies. She hadn't really talked to her all summer. And there was only one coincidental encounter at the farmer's market but Lauren was with a guy so she just rushed the interaction and fled before Karma could talk.

Deciding to be bold, Karma took the elliptical next to Lauren's and looked over at her before plugging in her headphones. When Lauren noticed her though she took her earbuds out right away and slowly stopped moving, holding onto the rails and taking her in with her eyes.

"Karma… Hi," she said, panting to breathe.

"Hi," Karma answered sadly. "It's been a long time."

"It has," Lauren said. Lauren got down off the machine and Karma thought for sure that meant she was leaving but Lauren grabbed Karma's wrist surprisingly and pulled her off the machine and over toward the treadmills. "Come on, we should talk," Lauren said.

"Ah- okay," Karma stuttered. "I don't know what I can say but-"

"No, I meant, I should talk." Lauren clarified, looking her in the eye at the foot of the treadmill before getting on. "Come on, get on," she urged.

Karma walked up and turned it on. She decided she'd take it slow so that she could hear.

"Shane told me she's not happy," Karma said.

"No shit Sherlock! Of course she's not happy!" Lauren was already running. She was running fast too. Karma was stunned

"I tried to talk to her today but-"

"You did?" She almost fell off. Karma watched her speed to lower the pace with her finger. "Oh, thank God. Nothing gets to her. This summer has been WEIRD!" Lauren huffed.

"What do you mean, nothing gets to her?"

"You've seen her now, she's like a ghost."

"Sort of," Karma said, not knowing if she'd put it exactly that way. "All summer I kept seeing all those pictures on facebook."

"Facebook is a fallacy!" Lauren yelled. "UHHHH!" She groaned. "This isn't working!"

She stopped the treadmill and stopped Karma's too.

"Come on, we should get coffee," Lauren said, tugging her along.

"I was going to exercise but-"

"Shut up Ashcroft. You want to know what I know." Lauren was right.

They grabbed their stuff and left in Lauren's car. There was no real fighting it. Lauren usually got her way.

Part IV

Liam and Amy mindlessly watched tv. Every now and again one of them would chuckle and they would lovingly lock eyes or cuddle tighter. It was the strangest relationship, not so real but not so fake. Amy wanted a term for it. A term that was better than "rebound," because that wasn't it at all. It was like psychologically necessary. She needed him to get by. Or perhaps he was her crutch, the thing keeping her from moving on, but in a good way.

"Are you okay?" Liam asked, once the silence became heavy and they both knew they weren't watching the show.

"Not really… You know that though," she said, threading her fingers with his and feeling his soft soft hands and breathing him in.

"Can I do anything?"

"I feel like I'm keeping you," she said. "Like I'm greedy."

"Amy, you're not," he said. "Really, it's fine."

"You know I can't love you. But you're nice to me anyway," she said sadly, looking up at him.

"I just get it, that's all."

"But Liam, how could you?"

"I don't even know," he sighed. Something about Amy and the way she was, something about her just spoke volumes to him. It was like he could feel what she was feeling and he could tell that she needed him, wanted him, and not for sex, not really, for something else, to feel okay.

"I feel like I'm using you," she said.

"I used you first," he reminded. The whole dating thing had been his idea. She wasn't going to do it but when Karma caught them she knew she wanted to just the same.

"You didn't. I wanted to."

"You know what I mean."

"This is different though," she said, sitting up and scanning his eyes. "You hold me when I'm sad. When I'm angry you let me fuck you," she swallowed hard, hating the person she had become. Her life had become simple in the most fucked-up way. "You know I love her but you're here with me and you don't hate me."

"It's not your fault, Amy," he said, pushing her chin up with his hands and kissing her. She felt his tongue slip into her mouth and it tasted familiar. It wasn't bad at all, it was just Liam and she liked him, just not enough. "I like it when you get angry and fuck me," he smiled sweetly.

"Doesn't it make you mad that we don't make-love?"

"Not really…" He confessed. "You're real when you're mad like that. I'd rather it was real."

"And I'm not real now?" She scoffed, almost laughing. He could cheer her up. How did he do that?

"You're always real, it's just then.. You're really real, then. You take it out on me and I don't hate it." They exchanged a look that was almost stillness, and she kissed him this time, she kissed him and kissed him hard.

The last time they had sex it had been the first day of school. Amy had been crying and anxious. She tried to go home but it drove her insane. She showed up at Liam's house and found him out on his tennis court fucking around with some wood. She surprised him, basically attacked him.

"Fuck me," she said, unbuttoning his shorts and trying hard to push them down.

"Amy wait," he had laughed, taking her hand to get her to stop. She had been reaching for his clothes, trying to tear them off, trying to get him naked.

"I need you," she said, trying to fight even though he was strong.

"Okay," he smile queerly, looking down at her and walking her out to the little equipment shed he had built for the court.

"I can't wait. You have to," she fought. "You have to fuck me," she pushed. "Please, Liam, do it," she was frantic and pulling at him.

He tried to stop her because she was so upset. But she hadn't been happy for months by then. Her cloudy moods and random orders were something he had gotten used to and he didn't want to control her, he wanted her to have it her way. More importantly, he liked her way.

"Okay, okay," he said calmly, pulling her into the shed and shutting the door. As soon as they were in she sat up on the counter and motioned for him to come close.

He dropped to his knees and kissed her bare thigh. He was going to try to lick her but she pulled his face up and pulled him in close.

"I said fuck me," she growled angrily, digging a condom out of her pocket and shoving it fast and hard into his hand. She had purposely worn a skirt with nothing beneath it and she had brought a condom because she knew what she wanted even before she left the house.

"Fine," he said calmly, trying to hurry. They could do it slow and they'd feel better longer but she liked it this way, she always did and he knew that.

It was fast when it happened because he was hard just from her words. He entered her carefully but she clutched at his ass with her hands, digging her nails into his skin and holding her breath as she pulled him hard inside of her and gasped from all the pressure.

"Uhhhhhhh," she moaned as she hovered there in ecstasy. "Thank you, thank you, thank you," she gasped, almost crying with how good it felt. She moved her hands up to his face and kissed him hungrily to try and ease her pain and thank him all at once. She just wanted it to stop. She wanted the thoughts to go out of her head. "Uhhh," she moaned in his mouth as he wiggled just a bit and lit her entire body on fire. She was hugging him close with her lips just at his ear and her arm around his neck. "Do it, please," she gasped, crossing her legs up around his back so that he would hold her up with his hands and bounce her. She had found she liked that the most and by now Liam knew it too. "Come on, Liam," she was desperate, she needed it now. He fumbled to hold her but once he had her he felt strong.

As soon as it started all the shit in Amy's head disappeared. She couldn't think about Karma or the wedding or her fuck-ups or anything else. When he fucked her like that she just hung onto him and felt herself falling. She hung on for dear life and tried desperately to breath. It felt good because it filled her up. It felt good because it cleared her mind.

He held her and watched as she went from begging and angry to silent and almost relaxed. She moaned into his ear and sometimes whimpered. Her ohhh's turned into uhhhh's until it sounded like she was barely breathing as he bounced, barely doing anything except getting closer and closer to flooding with pleasure and mindlessness. She was hugging him so hard now.

Liam had to try everything not to just cum. When she surprised him like that it was hard. It went from zero to lift-off with a blink of an eye and it was happening again, just happening. Liam couldn't explain it and neither could Amy. But they'd done that a lot over the summer. And they both tried hard not to wonder what it meant.

Once Amy would come down from her pleasure he'd set her down on the counter and kiss her soft. She'd hold him close and he'd let her hold him. It was so strange but so perfect. It was like nothing Liam had ever experienced because it felt real. It felt like what love should feel like if love was real. He wasn't sure that it was.

All Liam knew was that sex had never been like that before. Not before Amy.