Through my lovers eyes
by missteff
June 2014

chapter 4

"What the?" They say in astonishment at the same time. Martha stares at us for a second, shaking her head. She wiggles her finger between Beckett and me.

"Dad, is everything-" my daughter asks as she steps forward all the way into the room.

"Everything's fine," I respond abruptly, cooling my tone as i see the disappointment on daughters face. I glance at them both. They didn't need to witness us fighting like this, not days before we get married. I take a few steps back from Beckett, wiping my hand down my face, and take a deep breath. "We just..." i start.

"Having another argument," my mother adds. Beckett sits down on the edge of the bed putting her head in her hands. "I just got upset...I'm..." she sighs, "I'm sorry, it's been." I glance back at her. I hate to see her this way, the fights we get into over stupid stuff. I should have just let her have the stupid phone, and none of this would have happened. But if I had then she would have run off by herself and I wasn't going to let that happen.

"A stressful day. I know." Martha comes, sits on the bed beside her and puts her arm around her. "But dear, things will get better. If anything, my son will make it better."

She tilts her head my direction. She wants to see my reaction. That causes a grin to appear on my face, I think that was the whole point.
My mother has never said anything like that about me before at least not to my face. I wanted to cry right then and there. It was a touching moment to see my mother getting along with Beckett. Now I see that we really are becoming a true family. I just wish this nightmare part was over so I can make it official. I glance over at my daughter.

"Dad," she whispers, "Is everything going to be okay? I mean..."

"Yes," I move closer to her, "We" I let out a sigh as I swallow, "Have to take care of a few things and then...it will be." I swallow again this time closing my eyes,
hoping we will be able to fix this. I want my family closer not farther apart. I won't be able to live if we can't fix this. A tear slid down my cheek as I stand there with my eyes closed.

Later that evening in our bedroom, after everything was calm again, I offer Beckett my phone. "Here." I held it out to her.

She takes it smiling at me.

"Thank you and..." she takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry about earlier," she looks away from me.

"Don't be...you had every right too. I mean..." I'm the one who should be sorry. I walk to her other side. I want her to see me not just hear me. I shouldn't have yelled. I take her hand.

"I just want this to be over with." She glances up, "And I shouldn't have yelled at someone who just wants to help me." I smile She writes down the number on a pad, than dials it, hangs up and dials it again. She did this for like a hundred times.

"Voice mail, again. " She hangs up in frustration written all over her face. It says it's full and try again later."

"Than that's what we do."

"Castle, we are running out of time. I can't wait on this. For some chance that he answers his phone."

"What are you saying? That you're giving up?" If she says yes, than that means that she is giving up on us.

"Not a chance, in hell." I saw the fiery determination back in her eyes.

"Than, what do you want to do?" She flops down next to me on the bed and lays her head on my chest.

"I want to get married." I could feel her body shake. I place my arm around her. She ask me like she didn't already know the what my answer would be.

"What do you want to do?" She lifts her head look at me.

"I want to get married, too. You know that. " I slide my fingers through her hair. "I wouldn't have it any other way." I grin.

"Okay! Then it's settled. You'll stay here and keep the wedding on track." I swallow, knowing what she is thinking with that way of talking.

I asks, "And … you?" She stands grabbing the papers off the night stand.

"I'm going to go to Willow Creek. I've got less than three days to find Rogan O'Leary and get a divorce." She told me never to go alone, yet she was trying to be brave and do the same thing with this guy.

"No," my voice starts to rise again, I can't help it. I can't let her go without me. I'm not going to lose her this close to my our wedding day. It isn't going to happen, we do this together.

"Castle," She turns to me. "I'll go, this is my problem."

"Our problem!" I corrects her, "And besides you told me before..."

"The difference is I'm not going to another country. Please let me do this." She turns from me so she could look out the window. "Don't make this any harder than it has to be." I walk up behind her placing my arms around her waist, holding her close to me.

"Remember, we are in this together. Always." I tell her.

"Castle I..." She lowers her head then turns back around into my embrace.

"Kate it's going to be okay. We will find him together."

"What if he?" She peers up at me.

"No, what if's..." I hold her closer.

"We can handle things here," Alexis answers from the doorway.

"The two of you go take care of that. We will finish up here," My mother adds as they come into my room unannounced again.

"We got this." Both my daughter and mother high-five each other.

"I have to do this alone, please." Beckett glances up at me with her pleading eyes. Then kisses me softly, sliding her hands down the side of my face. She places her head next to mine in a hug and whispers in my ear. "I need you..."

I too needed her here in more ways than one. I needed her here safe with me, not running around in another town without back-up. As partners that's what we do.

"I need you too." I respond in my best whiny kid voice with my sad puppy eyed look. "Can't this wait a little longer..."

"Castle, be serious." She separates from me remembering that we still had an audience watching us. "I know you want to me to stay but..." back to being the old hard Beckett.

"I just want everything to be perfect ...and I..."

"It will be." She winks letting go of me, my hands. "When I get this taken care of..." She softly kisses me on the lips, more like a brush. Then putts her hands on my chest gently pushing me back some. "Then there will be plenty of time for..." she spins around, facing our guest. "I'll be back in no time."

"Your leaving now, tonight," I surprised even myself with the shock in my voice.

"Yes the faster..." she glances over her shoulder at me.

"At least..." I start to plea as I step in front of her.

"No, Castle, no more delays. I want to get this done."

"At least let me have one more kiss, a real kiss before you go," I smile at her, "You know for good luck." I lean in for her kiss. Out of the corner of my eyes I still see my mother standing there.

"Ahem-" I turn to glare at the other guest in our room.

"Right," My mother takes Alexis out of the room. "I think they want to be alone, come dear."

"But I..."

I don't want Beckett to leave without me but I had to respect her wishes. I just wish she would let me help her face this husband. Yes i call him that, I don't have another choice. She still is married to the man. She didn't need to be alone with this man, not after what we learned about him. And what else is Rogan capable of doing if he is threatened. Beckett has been known to threaten people, that's her job.

She's threatened me plenty of times over the years. Besides in situations like these we have always had each other's backs. That's what partners do. Why would you have a partner, if they weren't there to have you back? I feel so helpless. I hold her hands in front of me. Giving me a few more seconds with her.

"Castle, I'll be fine." She says to me before she heads out into the night.

to be continued...