DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN GRAVITY FALLS NOR DAVINCIBLES
Leo and Stan stood glaring at each other, sidestepping slowly over as if they were cowboys at a standoff. The kids gulped with fearful anticipation just waiting to see what would happen next. "So," Stan finally said breaking the silence. "You still like you black tea with mint?" he offered with a smile.
"You know me so well," Leo snorted giving Stan a hug.
"Hey what's going on here old man?" Dipper asked feeling very confused by this situation.
"Do tell Uncle Leo," Pablo wanting to know as well.
"Well kids, Stan here is my old mentor. He taught me everything I know!" Leo said.
"What? No way!" the kids gasped in disbelief.
"It's true, I met Stan long ago, we were soldiers fighting a war. Back then we were planning on opening our own shrimping company after the war was over, but unfortunately he died before that could happen..." Leo cried. "Or was that a movie I watched." Leo realized causing everyone to groan.
"We met!" Stan glaring at Leo again. "Back in Columbia. I had just gotten out of prison (and by which I mean escaped) and ran into Leo at a coffee shop."
"Oh now I remember!" Leo jumped in. "It was my first adventure, I was looking for lost city of gold!"
"And since I knew the lay of the land (and needed to get away from the authorities) I offered to help." Stan said.
"And what a great help he was. He showed me how to mail ourselves so that we could avoid long lines at the airport." Leo said.
"And avoid high airline fees," Stan added.
"He also taught me that brave explores jump out of airplanes to their destination," Leo snorted.
"It's great for when you don't want customs going through your stuff," Stan laughed. At this point the kids rolled their eyes; as the DaVinci kids finally understand why their Uncle Leo uses such bizarre traveling methods, and the Pines kids ashamed but not surprised to hear how their Grunkle Stan tries to cheapen out of world traveling.
"So did you find the city of gold?" Mabel asked.
"Yup, and all this yahoo takes is a single wooden spoon!" Stan said in frustration.
"It was the only thing there that wasn't made of gold," Leo defended. "That alone ups the collectors' value."
"When I stop to think about all the gold we could have had, it's just so..." Stan broke down crying.
"Why didn't you just get the gold yourself Grunkle Stan?" Dipper asked.
"Because we only had one mule, and if I didn't leave with him, I would have been stuck there." Stan said. "Unfortunately I could never find the city again after that." Of course what Stan neglected to mention was that he did manage to stuff a good pocket full of gold before leaving.
"We've had many adventures after that, but as they say all good things come to an end." Leo said sadly.
"I was getting on in years, so I decided to retire here and make my shop the Mystery Shack, filled with some of the memories of our escapades." Stan said fondly.
"That is so sweet," Leo cried wiping off a tear. "I thought some of this stuff looked familiar. Remember when we wrestled Sass-crotch. Man I never thought my bones would heal properly." Leo laughed. At this point the Pines twins jaws dropped in shock. It never occurred to them that some of the attractions here might have been real.
"Yeah, good times. So what brings you here?" Stan asked.
"We are here looking for General Custer's little big horn," Leo said proudly.
"Um I hate to break it to you, but Little Big Horn is a river in Montana, this is Oregon." Dipper explained. "You know Custer's last stand."
"No, no, no. I don't mean that puddle." Leo said pulling out an old picture. "I mean Custer's old bugle horn. It is said that there was a shortage of material at the time so his horn was only halve the size of everyone else, but when he blew into it, it gave the loudest biggest honk ever. So he named it 'the little big horn'. They say it's magnificent tune is what led his men to victory in several battles, until he lost it. Legend says that when he found out that the river was also called little big horn, he thought it was a sign of victory! Too bad it didn't work out they way he thought it would." Leo snorted. "I believe that I found a clue that says the horn is here in Gravity Falls! It is a historical artifact, and when I find it, I can sell in my shop the Kurios Kat!" Leo laughed.
"Ha, this guy," Stan laughing as well. "Hey I think I have a map to that horn," Stan said slyly as he walked over to a cabinet, pulled out a sheet of paper and hastily drew an 'X' mark on it. "Here it is!" he said excitedly as he showed him the map.
"Ooh so that's where the horn is at," Leo drooled.
"Um, Uncle Leo I think that's just a diner's children's place mat." Zoe pointed out.
"Nonsense Zoe, can't you see the big X here? What kind of place mat has a map with an X on it?" Leo asked.
"Any children's mat with a find the treasure game on it," Zoe said even though she knows it is futile.
"Thanks for the map Stan," Leo said as he reached over to get it.
"Not so fast DaVinci," Stan said pulling the map away from Leo. "This is a valuable commodity, I can't just give it away. Not even to you old friend. So let's say I sell it to you for $5, no $50, no $500 dollars!" Stan said greedily.
"That sounds reasonable," Leo said.
"Uncle Leo NOOOOO!" the DaVinci kids pleaded.
"Oh darn, I don't have enough," Leo said after examining his wallet. "Tell you what, I'll trade you that map for a coupon book, with up to 500 dollars worth of savings for anything inside the Kurios Kat!" Leo offered, pulling out the coupon book.
"Coupons, what are you crazy! Cash only!" Stan said shaking his head.
"But Stan, when you think about it, coupons are like free money." Leo pointed out.
"Free Money! Deal!" Stan cheered snatching the coupon book and tossing the map.
"Always a pleasure doing business with you," Leo said picking up the map.
"Sucker," both Stan and Leo snickered causing the kids to shake their heads at their respective adult figures.
The DaVincis along with the Pines Twins (Stan allowed them to tag along after much pleading and annoying begging) followed the map to the local dump. "So this is where the horn is located at," Leo said with Awe.
"Oh I'm sure we'll find a horn here just not the one you want Uncle Leo," Zoe said dryly while holding her nose.
"Well let's no waste any time and find that horn," Leo instructed as he started digging in the trash. Just then a piece of garbage came flying out of the sky, hitting Leo in the head! "Owie! Owie! Pain, injury, agony!" Leo cried.
Investigating where it came from, they over heard some familiar voices laughing in the distance. Hurrying over to where the voice were coming from they spotted Wendy and her friends, having fun throwing and breaking things. The usual vandalism they like to commit. "Hey Wendy, fancy meeting you guys here," Dipper said nervously, but trying to sound cool.
"Oh great, it's that freaky kid again. Something weird always happen when you're around." Robbie groaned.
"Hey be nice," Wendy scolded her ex-boyfriend. "So Dipper, who are your new friends?" she asked pointing to the DaVincis.
"Ooh, ooh, these guys are world treasure hunters, and we came with them to look for treasure!" Mabel said excitedly.
"Treasure? Here? Yeah right!" Robbie and the other teens laughed. Even Wendy was starting to slowly back away from them. Dipper lowered his head in shame, and hopes that the others won't do anything more to embarrass him. Especially not in front of Wendy.
"Technically we are world explores, not treasure hunters," Pablo said in a cool tone. "Finding treasure is just the bonus."
"Wait you guys are really explorers? Where have you been?" Wendy asked.
"Where haven't we been!" Zoe said eagerly as she pulled out her scrapbook, that she carries with her all the time for some reason, and started showing off pictures of places they've traveled to.
"I bet they just doctored those pictures," Robbie scoffed as he picked up a glass bottle and threw it to a junk pile, shattering it to pieces. As the teens cheered that random act of destruction, a group of rabid racoons came popping out of the junk pile, looking non too happy at the violation of their nest.
Naturally, the teens all screamed in terror as the vicious animals slowly drew closer. Dipper wanting to protect everyone, and to show off to Wendy, he scanned around for something he can use. That's when he spotted an old metal crib that would make a perfect cage for the animals. Seeing his chance Dipper ran as quickly as he could to the crib, Robbie not wasting this chance to call him a coward. Unfortunately for Dipper, the Raccoons cut him off and were now standing between him and the crib. Dipper tried to back away from the raccoons but tripped on some garbage as the raccoons jumped at him. Dipper closed his eyes so that he doesn't see them coming only to find that he's been rescued by Pablo!
"Nice try kid, but let a pro show you how it's done!" Pablo boasted as he carried Dipper back to the others with the raccoons chasing him. After dropping Dipper off with Mabel, Pablo grabbed a long piece of cord and used it as a whip against the raccoons. "Back! Back I say you vile vermin!" Pablo yelled as he rounded up the raccoons. He then used his whip to snatch the crib Dipper was trying to get to, and with a quick yank, the crib fell on the raccoons trapping them inside like a simple cage.
"That was so awesome!" Wendy praised as she hurried over to Pablo, and she wasn't the only one. All of the teens including Robbie wanted to thank him for saving them.
"Oh you mean this, this is nothing. You should have seen me corralling the bulls in Pamplona." Pablo boasted.
"No way, you've actually fought bulls!" the teens gasped, now believing everything he says.
"Hey you know that was my plan first," Dipper tried to say only to be ignored by everyone, including his sister who has joined the Pablo fan club.
"If you guys don't mind, would you take my picture here? I want to update my blog." Pablo said posing in front of the trapped raccoons. All of them were happy to oblige at they used their cell phones to take his picture, leaving Dipper to sulk all by himself. Well not totally by himself as Zoe joined him as well.
"You know, I know my brother can be a selfish glory hog, but he does mean well. Most of the time, well some of the time. Okay not usually." Zoe said as if trying to defend Pablo character. Sort of.
Dipper sighed sadly, "Yeah but it's just that...Hey who is that?" He wondered pointing to two individuals collecting junk. One of which was wearing a skunk costume.
"Quba!" Zoe gasped.
"The DaVincis!" Qube sneered.