AN: Alright thanks again for everything you guys do, I'm feeling the love! So it's Saturday finally, which means here is Chapter 5! Just a warning the chapter is a little sad but I promise it will get happier... then sad... Then happier... Ultimately it will end in a way I hope you all like:) Read, review, and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I only wish I owned Disney, could you imagine how rich I'd be? But unfortunately I don't, so I don't own Austin & Ally. This idea though, I own it:)

Parties & Mistakes

Chapter 5: Ally's POV

It was well past dinner hour when Trish finally left. While it was usually nice having her around, gossiping and telling me the latest everything, today I'd just had enough. A lot of what she told me was all about Austin, it just made me feel even worse than I already did. It actually made me wonder how she didn't figure out that me being the 'slut', was not bullshit after all. Some people had some pretty good theories about me.

Like how I'm his best friend.

And the fact that guys and girls totally can't be friends without wanting each other secretly.

And how I totally would've been his girlfriend if Kira hadn't come into the picture.

And how I must love drama.

And how I'm not as innocent as I seem by any means.

And that I probably love sex and we went wild and crazy in that bed.

And how it's always the quiet ones you have to watch.

And that I never liked Kira in the first place, probably even hated her.

I'll admit, I rolled my eyes at some of them, but a lot made me stop and think. A lot of them made me wonder why Kira hadn't outright confronted me earlier today. I could admit that even if I hadn't done anything wrong last night, I should've been the number one suspect anyway. It honestly just made sense. The only thing that didn't make sense was this situation in general.

I brushed my hand over the piano keys, the sound bringing peace to my ears. Music had always done this to me, brought peace and calm when nothing else could. I've been told that as a baby and a toddler, nothing would make me sleep faster than a simple song could. I've also been told that I started jamming out on the piano before my third birthday, and of course there was the infamous Butterfly Song. Music just spoke to me. That was precisely the reason I was now in the song room. My shift had been over for all of 10 minutes, and I needed to get away. I couldn't think of a better way than just relaxing in a room that exuded music.

I settled down at the piano bench, pulling out my song book. I flipped the millions of pages that had songs written with Austin sprawled across them. I guess even in here I can't get away from this.

"No matter what I do, everything reminds me of you," I wrote on the top of the new page. Nothing truer had ever been written by myself. I couldn't deny the fact that my thoughts were consumed by Austin, and it wasn't just today in the aftermath of this event. It's been a while.

My fingers brushed the keys again, absently doing a small scale. All I could do was stare at my hands in apparent realization. There's the answer. You evidently do need some sort of feeling to have drunken sex. I guess that might not hold true for some, but for me it made perfect sense.

I was in love with that boy. I was in love with Austin Moon.

And really? It wasn't that much of a surprise. I knew I'd liked him right when I'd met him, but it was just a second grade crush kind of thing. Nothing more. But I still remembered it vividly.

"Your face, your eyes, your smile. It always takes me back," I wrote the second line. I could tell that what I was writing wasn't in order, but it made sense.

"It was always there, all I can think of."

I flipped the pages of my song book, even at the times when I thought I wasn't in love with him, there were signs. Even when I had a crush on Dallas, there were still unnecessary mentions of Austin. God, how long had I been in love with him? Had it really been since the second grade?

A&A

I remember the moment like it had been yesterday. Which in itself should probably tell me something. It was the first day of second grade and everyone was gathered in the gym. I was holding my mothers hand so I wouldn't get lost. In the three years prior(JK, SK, and grade one) that I had been here, I had always thought that the gym was huge. Crammed with a bunch of people, it was down right scary for a short 7 year old child.

We eventually arrived at the second grade table where I would be told who my new teacher for the year was. My mother told them my name and was in turn handed a slip of paper with my name and teacher on it. And the winner was Mrs. Neilson, the nicer of the two second grade teachers. With even that simple revelation I was happy. But that didn't necessarily last very long.

"Alright Ally," my mom said crouching down to me, hair falling out of the pulled back style she used to sport. "It's time for me to go now, but I'll be back after school to pick you up," she smiled tucking the hair behind her ear, then touched my shoulder lightly. "Go and introduce yourself, Hun."

She pushed me towards the group of forming children and evidently my new teacher. Mrs. Neilson was a tall, pretty, and sprightly young woman. I was greeted with a warm smile from her and a shriek of excitement from my best friend Trish. It made me even happier that I wasn't a total loner in that class.

"Well hello there," Mrs. Neilson said warmly. "And who might you be?"

Ever the shy child, I stared down at the floor. I shuffled my feet a bit before finally looking up at her gaze. Just as I was about to open my mouth, Trish interrupted.

"That's Ally!" she told the teacher emphatically.

"Well Ally, or Allison," she winked "If you get in line we'll be able to leave very soon." Mrs. Neilson smiled and led me to a spot beside Trish, where of course, very Trishlike, she began talking my ear off.

But, Mrs. Neilson kept her promise. In no time we were walking off to our classroom. Apparently all the children had arrived, meaning I must've been one of the last. No matter though, I was still excited to take on the day. Our first task was to find our name tag on the groups of desks then take the second name tag and stick it to the locker of our choice. I found mine in a group of four, ironically the group was; Allison, Patricia, Desmond, and Austin. It made me even happier that I also got to sit with my best friend Trish!

I went outside where Trish had already picked the locker she wanted. No doubt I was going to pick the one next to her. There were two open spots next to the one she picked and I decided to go for the one on the left. Unfortunately for me, someone else had also decided they wanted this very locker. Before I knew it I was on the ground, a white hot pain flooding to my left arm.

Mrs. Neilson saw the incident, heard the commotion, and instantly came running over. Her eyes widened as she took in the scene, and I couldn't blame her, my arm looked broken and was already bruising. Tears were streaming down my face and she looked like she was pissed.

"Austin Moon!" she hissed, "What did you do?"

He looked over to me, lying on the floor. His chestnut eyes went as wide as saucers as he took in the situation. He ducked his little blonde head and muttered, "Oops". Mrs. Neilson shook her head as she helped me to my feet. I clutched my injured arm, as if that would somehow make the pain go away.

"Austin, would you like to walk Allison down to the nurses?" she asked him, not continuing until he slightly nodded. "Good, and while you're down there please explain how her arm got that way."

With that we began walking down the hall. I was still crying, but not as much as I had been seconds before. Right then I was more pissed than anything. Angry that someone would do this, and angry at the startling pain.

"Look I'm sorry," Austin spoke, shocking me away from my thoughts. "I just really wanted the locker beside my best friend Dez and I didn't see you there and didn't realize how hard I pushed you."

"Whatever, take the locker," I told him effectively cutting off the conversation like a 7 year old would. A stubborn 7 year old at that.

The nurse checked out my arm putting ice on it while glaring at Austin. She had called my mother telling her to take me to the hospital to be sure. And Austin started crying. He had the audacity to cry because of the nurses glare and the fact that he was a jerk. It made me smile through my own tears that he felt bad. Because he should and he should be in trouble.

I thought he should be punished waiting in the nurses office, I thought it on the long ride to the hospital, and I thought it still once we found out my arm was just majorly sprained as opposed to broken. That 'stupid kid' should receive some form of punishment for putting my arm in a brace. Yet nothing came, he wasn't punished in the least.

This made me dread going to school the next day. I didn't want to see him and I definitely didn't want to sit at the same group as him. Of course I went though, i just wasn't at all happy about it. When I arrived Mrs. Neilson grinned at me and showed me to my new locker. It was the one to the right of Trish's. I apparently wasn't allowed the one I was pushed out of the way for. But, at least I was beside Trish, that was probably the only good thing about this situation, or so I thought. When recess rolled around, Austin stopped me.

"What?" I asked him, still a mad and stubborn 7 year old.

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry and I didn't mean it," he said this while pulling something out of his locker. "Here."

He handed me chocolates and a stuffed dolphin toy. In that moment I fell for him. While I realize now, that it was probably his mother who had suggested these, I still felt special.

"Thanks," I muttered.

A&A

I'd kept that whole experience in my mind. It wasn't much of one but I still knew that's what made me like him at first. Even though we didn't really become friends until we were 14, I was always in love with him. Maybe not in love, but I definitely had a major crush on him. For years I had that major crush, I thought I was over it. I thought I was over it when I started liking Dallas. I thought I was over it when we got into high school.

I thought I was over him.

My hand fell on the piano, making one of those ugly 'I give up' noises. Because in truth, I give up. Why did it have to take me this long to figure out how in love I am? It's been 10 years. How the hell am I supposed to just drop that? How the hell am I so stupid? Why couldn't I have figured this out before I slept with him?

Everything is just so complicated. Nothing makes any sense to me anymore and I just can't deal with this. I wish I was that oblivious second grader again. I wish I'd never been pushed to the ground. I wish I'd never had those stupid feelings for him. I wish I wasn't sitting in the music room feeling sorry for myself. But none of that can be helped. I'm in love with Austin, I slept with him, our relationship is completely altered, and I do have so much pity for myself right now.

I propelled myself away from the piano bench, I couldn't write a song right now, not in my current frame of mind. If I wrote, it would just be a confession. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. My legs gave way and I fell to the ground. Tears streamed down my face, finally letting out the sobs that had threatened to take me over all day.

They were ugly, noisy sobs, that tainted the peaceful air of the room. I hated myself for now having this memory here, but above all I hated myself for this situation. I drew my legs to my chest, burying my head in them. I couldn't deal with anything right now. Not Austin, not Kira, not Trish, not even my feelings; I just couldn't deal. I felt like I was breaking, and I knew so many things were already broken. But there was nothing I could do, so I laid there in the fetal position until my sobs ceased into sleep.

AN: And on that depressing note... I was thinking that the dolphin I mentioned in this chapter was Dougie and although Austin doesn't remember giving it to her directly, it kind of explains why he was so excited about him in the show. Tying it all together. Haha anyway I've had a busy week so I'm still on completing Chapter 11 and I somewhat restructured my ending. But still, see you all next Saturday! Review please:)