AN: Guys, you are so sweet! Thank you for all the reviews this week, and the views! I'm getting more and more every week and I'm just loving it! Although I do love it more when I see a lovely little review;). Anyway it's Friday and I'm going to be super busy tomorrow so as a treat, bring on the welcome wagon for Chapter 7! Oh and also little warning for the swearing here and a little bit of the content I guess:P Read, review, and enjoy:)

Disclaimer: So yeah, I don't even own this show! But thanks for reading my little attempt at fanfiction for it!:)

Parties & Mistakes

Chapter 7: Ally's POV

"You're mad at him, I know," Trish said to me over the phone, as if this were the most obvious thing in the world.

"That's not true," I responded flopping down onto my bed. I moved slightly, grabbing whatever stuffed animal I was currently lying on. "Of course." I muttered.

"What?" Trish asked.

So she had heard that. I kind of hoped that I'd said it under my breathe, or maybe that I'd only said it in my mind. Not so. I'd grabbed the dolphin that Austin had given me when we were 7. Obviously it would have happened that way. Obviously I couldn't have been lying on any other stuffed animal. It had to be the one Austin gave me.

"When did our Sunday night homework chat turn into a Sunday night Austin chat?" I laughed.

"Please Ally," she started, and I felt like some sort of revelation was going to come out. "We talk about Austin every week whether you like it or not."

There's another reminder that I'm totally in love with him. Good God. I remained silent for a few beats too long. I could hear the kids yelling on Trish's street and her shallow breathing. All signs pointing at this being more than an acceptable amount of time when there's someone on the other end of the phone. More than an acceptable amount if there's really anyone waiting for you to talk.

"Ally," she whispered. But even in that simple whisper I felt like she knew. "You're in love with him." And she did.

"No," I denied it, not for the first time in my life. I shot up from my position in the bed, I wasn't comfortable in any way, shape, or form right now. Physically and mentally. "No. No I'm not." I told her.

I could tell that on the other end she was probably shaking her head in disbelief. It made me nervous that she wasn't right here in front of me having this conversation. I bit my lip, waiting for her next retort.

"Yes you are Ally! That's why you're so weird lately! You love him, but you hate him for what he did!" she sounded so excited, yet slightly sad. That makes sense, it's a pretty sad realization. "I mean, how can you trust someone once they've done something like that? If they did it to one girl - even the worst and stanky of girls - what would stop him from doing that to you?"

I hadn't thought of that. Obviously my mind had been too preoccupied with the fact that I was the other woman, and no longer a virgin, and I had lost Austin his record deal, and I was lying to everyone... But she was right. If he did this to her, what would stop him from doing it again?

"Yeah, thought so," Trish spoke, using my silence as an agreement.

"No," I said, slightly laughing at my stupidity. "I didn't even think of that. At all."

"So then what have you been thinking of?"

It was a simple question. Innocent enough, but it struck me. I couldn't tell her what had been plaguing me all weekend, I couldn't even admit to her that I really was in love with Austin. That was something I only recently admitted to myself. Even if the song I'd written earlier today made it seem like it was forever.

I stood up, walking over to my song book which was perched on the electronic keyboard across from my bed. I opened it and skimmed the words I had just written, and sighed. "This whole situation," I replied. "Just how shitty it is, and everything."

"You know, the usual," she said, laughing slightly.

The doorbell sounded and I walked over to my bedroom window. I realized years ago that if you looked through a certain pane, you could see who was at the front door. And speak of the devil, there was a blonde boy standing on my front porch. Well shit.

"I gotta go Trish, I have something I need to avoid."

I hung up without waiting for an answer. I had to get to the stairs before my mother invited him in. She was already there though, opening the front door as I got to the bottom step. Double shit.

"Oh Austin!" she said a smile creeping onto her features. "I haven't seen your face around here in a while."

She opened the door wider, allowing him to step inside. Only then did she finally notice me. Her head cocked to the side when she saw the hesitant and more than a little anxious look on my face. I could tell she was wondering if him and I were fighting, maybe that's why she hadn't seen him in a while. But in the next second her confusion went away. She registered my face as surprise, I gather. Letting him in while I was being punished, was not part of the deal. For breaking curfew I was told no reading for pleasure and no going out with friends. Which I had already broken by going shopping with Trish, but right now I would really like her to enact the whole not seeing friends situation. Why were they so lax on this rule, but adamant on the reading front?

"I think you might know that Ally broke curfew the other night," she shook her head at him, as if he would never do something like that! He merely gave her a nod and a sly smile, before she finally continued. "So generally her punishment is not reading for fun and not seeing her friends. I think that's why she's kind of shocked right now." My mother nodded over to my perch on the stairs. I awkwardly waved, a blush creeping onto my cheeks. "But to be honest, I think the not seeing friends punishment doesn't really make sense. Why take that away? It would mean I wouldn't even get to hang out with my daughter!"

She laughed at her little joke, telling us to have fun, then she walked off further into the house. I stood there staring at him in the hallway. He ran his hand through his hair once, searching my face for some kind of clue. My mind was racing though, every time I thought of inviting him upstairs to my room, all I could think about was the fact that there was a bed there. And we all know what Austin and I did on a bed the last time we were alone... But after many long minutes of hearing each other breathing and awkward shuffles I finally gestured him up, and made my way back to my room.

Silence enveloped us the whole way. When I finally entered what most people would consider their safe haven, I only felt it even more. I stood there watching him pace in a room he'd been in countless times, choosing a place to sit. I could only image he was mentally checking off the same things as I was.

No don't close the door. No don't sit on the bed. No don't make eye contact. No don't look at the dolphin.

Eventually he plopped down on the floor, his back leaning against my bedpost. I looked down at his outstretched legs, still wearing the red converse. It took me a few beats of a minute before I finally settled on the floor beside him. The fact that his bag was in between, separating us almost brought a smile to my face.

But whatever ounce of a smile I had, was wiped off a second later. My brain could only focus on what we had done when we were last in a bedroom together. I remembered now vividly laughing as we took our clothes off. Of course that memory would only strike when he's right beside me.

I looked down at my hands which were hurriedly fidgeting. Why was I so nervous? I've never been this nervous around him, not even when I lost my virginity. A sigh escaped my lips and I put my head into my hands. I'm so not ready to deal with this. I never will be.

"So, how's your essay coming along?" Austin asked, I assume just to have something to say.

"It was assigned on Friday," I replied "I don't have a clue what I'm doing."

"That's different..." he said, staring down at his shoes.

I laughed, it was different. Normally I'd have at least the outline done by now, if not more. I guess my brain truly was just completely incompetent after this event. Ugh. Yeah the event is probably a good title for what we did...

He shuffled next to me, unzipping his bag. Oh God, what's he doing now?

"I have something... That belongs to you," he stuttered slightly. His hands pulled out the black lace bra that had been on the bulletin board, the article that I wish would just go up in flames. He gave it back to me gingerly, still not looking me in the eyes.

I laughed lightly, "You know, I should probably just burn this. It's not like I can ever wear it now that the whole school has seen it..."

"Not like anyone would know," he spoke, still avoiding my eyes. "But burning is probably a better option."

I fingered the lace on the bra. Dancing over the patterns and little bow. I can't believe that everyone saw this. This was like my one remotely racy bra. I don't even know why I wore that specific one to the party. Because I'm an absolute idiot that's why.

I laughed out loud accidentally. Or at least I huffed out a laugh. Enough of something for Austin to hear. He looked up from his rather interesting shoes and over to me. "What?" he asked me. There was no hint of joking on his face. All I could see was what resembled a scared little boy. I wanted to cry. I wanted to hug him. I wanted to not be in this situation.

"Everything," I stated bluntly. "Everything is just shit," he flinched at my mild swear word. God I love this boy. "I'm so stupid and you're so stupid! I just can't believe that we did any of this. Do you realize how many people we've hurt? I mean not just Kira is hurt, all the girls she's potentially implicating are hurting. And another-"

"So just come out with it then," he interrupted.

"What?"

"Honestly Ally, if you feel that badly about what we did then just come out with it. Just tell the whole school everything we did. Tell the whole school about how we had sex and it was stupid," there was venom in his voice, leaving me even more confused than when he'd first come here. Was he not as embarrassed as I was about this? He'd looked so scared and not like Austin before he'd spoken.

"What?" I said again, harsher than the first time. A look of confusion crossed my features as anger crossed his.

"You heard me, Al. Obviously this is some shameful thing that we did. Obviously we've hurt so many people. Obviously we're just a bunch of idiots who don't know anything. So tell them if that clears your conscience," he started to get up, he had every intention of leaving right then and there.

I stood up straight, trying my best to be intimidating. "Well excuse you Austin Moon," a tone crept into my voice that I'd never heard before. "I didn't know it was such a privilege to sleep with you," I took a step closer to him, accusingly. "I didn't know I had to be grateful instead of guilty. I guess I'll just clear my conscience right now and fuck you right on my bed."

I registered every emotion on his face. From anger, to annoyance, to guilt, to shock. He stared at the floor again, the way he had when he first entered my bedroom. The bastard didn't even have the courage to look at me now. How lovely.

"Ally you know that's not-"

"Shut up Austin," I snapped. I had stressed about this stupid event all weekend. I had stressed even more about talking to him again. But now here we are. And he has the audacity to come in here like that?! I'd had it. "If you want to go now, you can."

He shuffled for a moment, deciding what to do. Then came a slight shake of the head, and full fledged anger. "Seriously Ally? You're joking, right? You seriously think that I'm saying it's a privilege to sleep with me? Grow up!" he hissed.

"Grow up yourself, Austin!" I yelled back. "You think you can come to my house and make me feel worse about this than I already do? Yeah, real mature there big guy."

"It's sex, Ally. It's not supposed to be this big of a deal. If you love..." A pause. "I thought we could just talk about it and that would be it, but I guess not."

"And since when is 'just talking about it' throwing a hissy fit and telling me I'm wrong?" I asked him, anger surging through my veins.

"I never said you were wrong!"

"Bullshit, Austin. You know this is wrong. This is technically considered rape!" he flinched. I knew it wasn't because I'd sworn this time, I'd gone too far. Sure if you're intoxicated, you can't exactly say no and people take advantage of that... But that wasn't us. Shit. Why did I just say that?

His face went void of all emotion. "Fine, Ally. Accuse me of rape," he snatched his bag from the floor, zipped it up and fled out my door.

I stood there for a second or two before everything came back to me. Every ounce of emotion flooded my body and tears streamed down my face. I ran out of my room and to the top of the stairs.

"Austin!" I called. The front door slammed shut.

AN: I'm sorry guys! This is going to cause so many heartaches! I promise you it gets better, this is just a bump in the road:P But anyway review please and see you guys next Saturday! It's almost April:O