AN: So once again, I must say you guys are awesome. I never thought I would love getting reviews this much but I do. So thank you all! I'd like to personally thank Danibobani23 for calling me a genius, which is really cool and made me smile haha. And Mystik225 for being my awesome first reviewer ever who continues to review! Anyway, it's Saturday so here is the much awaited Chapter 9! Read, Review, and Enjoy:)
Disclaimer: Everyone already knows my claim!
Parties & Mistakes
Chapter 9: Ally's POV
"Austin Monica Moon!" Trish yelled jumping off the couch. She lunged at him like a puma going for its next victim. Her face contorted in rage. She was gnashing her teeth as if I were her baby that Austin was threatening. "You come right here and tell me what you did."
Austin looked confused and assaulted at the same time, but still stepped the few feet toward her. "Yes..?" he said hesitantly. He moved a hand nervously through his mussed blonde hair and glanced my way.
"No, no, you look at me. Not at her," Trish said extending herself to look taller and more intimidating. Her eyes were dark and focused intently on Austin.
"Trish?" he posed, looking my way again. I shrugged, making no attempt to diffuse the situation. There was a giant part of me that wanted to see what Trish was about to say.
"What did I just say Moon?" Trish asked venomously.
"Trish, what do you want?" he asked, looking as though he'd rather be talking to anybody but her.
"You know exactly what I want, boy."
I laughed in spite of myself. A noise which I wound up disguising as a cough. Boy?
"Um.." Austin hesitated. "Could I just talk to Ally?" He flashed her an awkward smile, pulling lightly on his shirt collar.
"Well we all know how that wound up last time," Trish said snidely.
Austin looked around her to me. I shifted on the couch, the leather sticking to my uncovered back. I avoided his gaze and instead stared at his red converse shoes. I could still feel his eyes on me, but I was definitely not meeting them. Eventually he sighed and relented. "So yet another person is mad at me," He mumbled.
"Damn right!" Trish exclaimed. "Although probably not for the reason you think. I mean I'm not pissed at you anymore for cheating on Kira so you can be relieved about that. But, I'm pissed at what you did to Ally."
"It takes two to tango," he said calmly, shrugging his shoulders.
I crossed my leg over the other, dangling my foot slightly. It was as though I was watching a soap opera play out and I needed to get comfy. As long as they didn't look at me, I was perfect.
Trish sighed. "True, but do you know how bad you've made Ally feel? I don't know if you can tell but she's been crying pretty hard today."
Not so perfect... Again, Austin took the chance to look at me. This time he studied me. This time I didn't look away. I let him look at me. The normal me, in a hi-low pink, orange, and dark red dress and a jean vest. My dark brown hair cascaded in waves over my shoulders, but my face betrayed me. My eyes were glassy and red, it looked like I was either high or had been crying for days. There were mascara lines tracked under my eyes and my mouth was traced in a permanent frown.
"Yeah," Austin said lightly "I'm sorry I made her look so sad."
"Look?!" Trish screeched.
"Wrong word choice," he defended, holding his arms up in a sort of surrender. "I feel bad Trish, ok? But I shouldn't be telling that to you."
She pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes at him. "Feel bad for what? Cheating on your girlfriend? Having sex with Ally? Making her cry? The names people are calling you? The names people are calling her? Losing your record deal? Yelling at Ally?"
"Everything. Is that fair enough?" he snapped at her. "Trish I feel horrible and you know that! Just let me talk to Ally," He sighed exasperatedly.
"No!" Trish was possibly the most stubborn person I've ever met. If she was dead set on preventing him from talking to me, then that was that. Although, I really did need to talk to him.
"Trish," Austin groaned, running a hand through his hair again.
"No!" she repeated indignantly, hands on her hips. "You should have thought about your actions before you did them!"
"Trish you aren't my mother and you're not Ally, so you shouldn't be the one lecturing me!"
She took a daring step toward him and pointed her index finger with venom. "Don't tell me what I can and can't do!"
"Don't tell ME what I can and can't do!" Austin countered.
She glared at him.
He stared at me.
I looked away.
"Austin look," Trish spoke. "I just hate what you did to my best friend. I hate that you did that, and then yelled at her for it. So no, I'm not letting you talk to her."
He sighed. "Ok fine. I'll just go then."
Austin glanced my way, shooting me a small smile. I stared down at the cherry hard wood flooring instead of facing him. I heard a scuffle then looked up. Austin had turned away and was starting to walk out of the room. My eyes stung again, seeing him leave reminded me of all the times I'd seen him walk away. I didn't want this to be yet another time where I'd broken him.
"Austin wait!" I said as I jumped up from the couch. He whipped back around to face me, eyes wide and wondrous. "I need to talk to you."
"What?" Austin and Trish spoke at the same time.
"We need to talk," I said speaking those oh so positive sounding words.
Trish stared at me questioningly while Austin looked almost relieved. Trish took a few tentative steps toward me, face impassive. Any anger she had, had now given way to confusion.
"Are you sure you want to talk to him?" she whispered to me, leaning in close to my ear. I nodded curtly. "Okay.."
Trish quietly walked from the room, turning around shortly to wave goodbye. She stooped down at the front door, shoving her feet into her boots. Quickly she put on her purple fleece sweater and rearranged her scarf. There was one last glance at me to make sure I wanted this, then she opened the door.
Once she had left, I let out all the air I had been holding. I was not looking forward to this.
Austin stood in place where he had been moments before. He looked hesitant, awkwardly picking at strings on his plaid button up. When he heard the door slam shut, our eyes met. Then quickly diverted.
Alone again, was all I could think. We didn't have the greatest history of what happens when we're alone. Not anymore.
I let out a small yawn, one of my many nervous habits and pivoted on my heel, launching myself into the kitchen.
"Did you want a drink?" I asked, busying myself in the fridge. My eyes scanned the contents. All I wanted was a distraction. I may have needed to talk to him, but that by no means meant I was excited to.
Suddenly the door to the stainless steel refrigerator slammed shut and Austin appeared on the other side of the closed door. He stared at me in earnest. I closed my eyes. He took my right hand. I opened them. He pulled me over to the couch and gestured for me to sit. I obliged.
"Just calm down Ally," Austin whispered. He sat on the black leather footstool in front of me. He leaned forward slightly and placed his hands on my knees. The only movement I made was soft breathing and fast blinking. "Just breathe."
I silently watched him as he pulled his guitar from its case. How had I not noticed that when he'd walked in? He slung the strap around himself and balanced it on his lap. Austin met my eyes. Chestnut to amber. His fingers took their place on the strings, on the chords, and he began.
Softly Austin played 'Without You'. His voice eased over the rifts and I felt my eyes prickle with whatever tears I might have left.
"There's no way
I can make it without you
Do it without you
Be here without you," Austin sang, never leaving my eyes. He smiled sadly at me.
"It's no fun
When you're doing it solo
With you it's like 'Whoa!'
Yeah and I know.." Austin choked out. He bit his lip for a moment, before continuing to the final lines.
"I own this dream
Cause I've got you here with me
There's no way I can make it without you
Do it without you
Be here without you," Austin finished. He dropped his guitar to the floor and I jumped. I hadn't heard him sing that song in months. I hadn't heard him do it slow and acoustically in years. I shook my head, smiling at him through the tears. He stared back at me, eyes glassy. In that moment, the silence spoke louder than anything we could have said. The unspoken conversation was the best thing that could have happened.
At the same time we both bolted up from out spots. I crashed against him into a hug. His arms wrapped around me, holding onto my waist. We both held on for an unacceptable amount of time, never wanting to let go.
Music is our language. This is how we speak.
"I'm so sorry," he said when we pulled apart. He stared into my eyes and moved a piece of hair away from my face. "I'm just so stupid and so sorry."
We both collapsed down onto the sofa. I sat with my knees drawn to my chest, facing forward. Austin sat next to me hanging his legs over the edge, also facing forward.
"Austin, I'm sorry too," I spoke staring just above the television. I didn't want to watch his face, or catch a glimpse of it in the TV. "We're stupid, but we didn't need to be."
"We're stupid for not talking," he said idly.
"I agree."
He sighed and I heard him shift. "Ally, please look at me."
I turned my neck slightly so I could see Austin's features. He looked like a scared little boy. I hated this look that I'd seen on him many times this week. This look that I'd somehow grown accustomed to. I shook my head lightly, and he gave me a sad smile.
"Ally, look," he started. "This week has been hell and it's because you were barely a part of it. I saw you once outside of school." He looked down at his hands and chuffed. "Once. One crappy time where we stopped being Austin and Ally."
"We're still Austin and Ally." I sniffed.
He snapped his head up at me, a solemn look coming over him. "No we aren't. Something switched, and I don't know what to make of it."
I blinked rapidly, trying to come up with some intelligent response. I was lost. "We're still Austin and Ally," I mumbled, closing my eyes and feeling defeated.
"Are we?" he asked.
"I don't know what you want me to say here, Austin," I said. He stared at me, willing me to come up with some answer.
"I love you," Austin said. Every ounce of emotion, every grasp on the world I thought I had, disappeared. Oh God. "I wouldn't have done this if I didn't feel that way. I hate myself for what I did to Kira, but I love you. And I don't take back what we did."
His words echoed in the room. Closed in on me. I loved him. Oh God did I love him. But I didn't know how to deal with that. I couldn't just say it back. I couldn't jump on him and declare my love. I couldn't do anything.
I can't lose him.
"Austin I-" I choked out.
"I'm sorry," he interrupted. "I know, it's a huge bomb. It's what I've been struggling with and trying to stop myself from even knowing but..." He hesitated, running a hand shakily through his hair. "I love you."
I closed my eyes. I tried to breathe. "Austin we can't," I managed.
"I know," he sounded choked. I couldn't make myself look at his face again. I didn't want to see this man who I had broken. "I know. I just needed you to know."
I shook my head, trying to grasp at any piece of composure I might have had left. I felt his hand come below my chin, lifting it up so I could see his face. He leaned toward me. I closed my eyes. I felt myself leaning in, felt him lean closer. I froze.
"We can't," I whispered. My eyes opened to see his face. A small smile appeared on his lips. Reassuring.
"I know," he said. He leaned back to his original spot, but held my gaze. "I know we can't. I want to be normal again, but I don't. I want to be an us, but we can't."
"I don't want to lose you," I said. It was quite possibly the lamest statement I had ever uttered. It sounded like those dramatic lines spoken in a movie when someone is about to die. But this was real life. And it was the most that I had ever wanted someone in my whole life.
"You won't," he held onto my hand and squeezed lightly. "It's been so hard without you. I hate fighting with you." He shook his head and laughed. "There's no way I can make it without you."
I laughed, then sniffed. "So what do we do?"
"We figure it out," he shrugged. "If we can't be Austin and Ally, we'll be a different Austin and Ally. And if we can't be that Austin and Ally, then we'll be another Austin and Ally."
Another laugh escaped me. I loved laughing with him. I'd missed these little antics.
I nodded. "We try. We talk. We don't avoid each other," He also nodded in agreement. "And then we write a song."
Austin laughed. A sound that never got old. A sound I had missed so much. This wasn't perfect, but for now, it would certainly have to do.
AN: My grammar is better now! And that makes me weirdly happy haha. Anyway I hoped everyone enjoyed that moment, I surely enjoyed writing this one:) So I have a poll on my page about an upcoming chapter and I would love if you guys voted! If you have any questions about the poll, I'll gladly answer! Anyway drop me a review, or a follow, it's always nice:)