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"Sunshine, there ain't a thing that you can do that's gonna ruin my night..." Caraphernelia, Pierce The Veil.

Disclaimer: I don't own Thor...just an unhealthy obsession with Tasertricks...

Loki is completely and utterly stuck.

Not in a literal sense- he isn't stuck anywhere in need of assistance- though he almost wishes he was. It would be better as opposed to being stuck for ideas, which is exactly what is happening right now. And yet, he doesn't understand why. How is it that he, a man of such deceit and carefully mastered lies, cannot think of a way to get Thor to step down from owning Asgard Industries?

The problem Loki has is that, in previous endeavors to get what he wanted, he could do so through lies and deceit, dealing only with foolish strangers who knew little about business. The time he is dealing with his family, who are the people who truly know him. They understand how he lies and how he is deceitful; it is even possible that they will see right through him.

Minus Thor, of course, who would not be able to see through Loki even if he were see through; the man is too dense for his own good. But even if Loki were to successfully obtain the company from Thor, there is no doubt that Odin would question Thor's motives, as well as Loki's. And how could Loki answer to such questioning?

Like it or not, Loki trusted- loved- his family once. Manipulating the people who know him and his mannerisms would certainly be harder; they would be more likely to recognize his plotting. There has to be some way Loki can weave around them to get to the company, but how?

Loki frowns to himself in exasperation at the subject. Odin had insisted that Thor deserved the company, but had been vague as to why. That was just like Odin, of course; the man never knew anything besides orders and brisk, business-like mannerisms. What Loki needs is something that will make his parents ignore Thor. Something that will throw his family off about his intentions. A ploy, just as he was for most of his own life. Something that will render them unable to decipher his next move. Something that will make them do a double take about him.

Something like...

PING.

Distracted, Loki is jolted from his thoughts as he receives a text to his work phone. Of all business affairs he's dealt with, Loki has never had anyone send him a text to his work phone. Who could possibly be so unprofessional and juvenile as to send a text message to a business number?

Tapping the screen, Loki sees the sender is an unknown number, but the message contains an array of words that seem sort of familiar to him.

From: Unknown Number

To: You

this the asshole from ystrdy?

Loki finds that a smirk tugs the corner of his lip upwards. There is only one person who he gave his business number to that could have said such a thing, and the reminder of this Darcy girl, while not a pleasant one, gives him a conspicuous idea.

To: Unknown Number

From: You

If you wish to call me so, then yes, it is. What may I do for you?

The response is quick.

From: Unknown Number

To: You

so ur like the prick who uses prfct grmmer n stuff. whatevs. listen dude imma cut to the chase. i guess i hafta pay for ur shit and whatnot so give me the details cuz i have college stuff comin up and i need this outta the way

Loki's idea courses through his head. Of course. Darcy is perhaps one of the most surprising (or asinine) people he has met. If he were to have her meet his parents, perhaps he could throw them off with the illusion of him dating, which he admittedly hardly does (date, that is).

To: Unknown Number

From: You

Meet me for coffee and I will explain everything.

Her response lags considerably.

From: Unknown Number

To: You

hold up y cant u just text me ur explintions

Loki shakes his head at his screen. Silly lower-class woman. Of course she is the type to question him (and have terrible spelling and grammar).

To: Unknown Number

From: You

I believe you want details, correct? So meet me for coffee.

The response comes almost five minutes later.

From: Unknown Number

To: You

fine. txt the address of wherever 2 me.

Loki sends her the address of a good coffee shop he knows, and then he goes back to thinking. It is clear that this Darcy woman must be the shock to throw his parents off about his motives. They must believe he is lovestruck with the girl and make it seem as though he wants everything but the company. However, there is one thing Loki lacks: the ability to persuade Darcy.

He honestly knows nothing about the woman, and honestly does not care to know. Yet if he is to get her to act out on the illusion of dating him, he must find some way to appeal to her. And, as much as he hates to admit it, he must also learn more about her. Hence the coffee "date."

It is a repulsive thought, to be having a date with such a woman, but Loki reckons he could be doing worse. Darcy is most annoying, but undoubtedly...attractive. In a manner that is unconventional, he muses as he stands up and heads to his car, but a manner nonetheless.

On his drive to the coffee shop, Loki decides to check the messages on his cell phone. The one he doesn't use for work. Also the one he has contemplated trashing, for he thought it might not be used again.

You have four new messages.

BEEP.

"Son, we must talk-" Odin.

Message deleted.

BEEP.

"Loki, my love, please call me or come to visit. I love you-" Frigga.

Message deleted.

BEEP.

"Brother-" Thor.

Message deleted.

BEEP.

"Loki, it's Sif. Please call me or your brother. He's-" Sif. That one is unexpected.

Message deleted.

Loki grits his teeth once all the messages are deleted. What weak fools all of them are, trying to get him to contact them. It is like they want him to take the company from their hands; they are that stupid. But, well, if all goes well right now, then perhaps he will call them later.

And, of course, it will go well. Loki is, after all, a master of lies.

He smirks at the title he has given himself, and keeps the smirk on his face as he reaches the coffee shop and gets a table. Suddenly, his whole plan seems to be going very well, and Darcy hasn't even shown up yet. And when she does- oh, speak of the devil.

There she is, walking through the doors of the coffee shop with a lot more tentativeness than needed. It's clear she doesn't belong among the suited men and dressed-up women, seeing how she is dressed in a long, old coat and jeans, even wearing a beanie on her head; she is too easy to spot among people like these. When she sees Loki, she goes to the table he is seated at with dismay.

Loki, in turn, rises when she approaches, still smirking. "Darcy," he says in greeting, taking her hand softly and pressing a kiss to her knuckles. "Thank you for meeting me."

Darcy is obviously put off by the display Loki has given, but she bounces back quicker than Loki expects. "Well, I did have a quiz for my poli sci class, but hey, luckily this came up," she says sarcastically, and she sits down, prompting Loki to mirror the act.

"I will get us coffee. What would you like?" Loki asks.

Darcy shrugs. "I dunno," she says awkwardly. "Surprise me."

Loki stands to get her the coffee. It seems she harbors some resentment towards him for the act of meeting him already, so he must cut to the chase and appeal to the woman already. He takes a caramel latte for the both of them even if he's always been partial to plain black coffee, knowing he might need the sugar to get through this meeting.

"Here you are," he says charmingly, holding out her cup.

She isn't impressed. She just takes the cup, grumbles a reluctant thanks, and blows on it immediately. When Loki takes his seat, she starts to speak.

"So how much are we talking?" she asks. "Price-wise, for your monkey suit."

Loki slowly sips from his cup, enjoying the look of dismay she wears at the thought of having to pay him. Normally he would smirk at this, but today, he knows he cannot take pleasure in schadenfreude.

"I believe we ought to introduce ourselves first," he says smoothly. "It is, after all, proper etiquette when you meet a person you are interested in."

Darcy looks thrown by the comment. "Uh, excuse me?" she says, lowering the coffee cup that is halfway to her mouth, but not before catching a whiff of it. "Whoa, this smells good. Caramel? I mean...excuse me?"

Loki raises his eyebrows at the pathetic woman's attempt to communicate. "Pardon?" he says, echoing her surprise with mock confusion.

"Pardon your sorry ass back into whatever cart you're peddling," is Darcy's curt reply. "Seriously? You expect me to believe you're interested in me? If this is some attempt to get laid, I'm telling you right now that I'm not into that kind of stuff."

Loki did not expect this bump in the road, but he plays it off calmly nonetheless. "And, pray tell, why would you find such a notion so hard to believe?" he asks coolly.

Darcy takes a drink from her coffee and hums appreciatively. "Shit, that's good," she says before looking straight at Loki and answering his question. "And for your question, let me say this simply: you're an asshole."

Loki smirks now; she's much too forward, but he finds the challenge interesting.

"Seriously, you are," adds Darcy in case he had not heard. "You told me when we met that you didn't ever want to 'associate' with me, and that the closest thing to meeting me would be to pay for your monkey suit. And I think you also said I wasn't from your social class. So, I really don't think you're interested."

Loki leans forward slightly, still smirking. "You honestly believe that?" he purrs, tilting his head as to gaze at Darcy better. "Now, I am willing to put the past behind us. You introduced yourself to me when we met, but I did not get your full name; perhaps we should start there."

"So you can steal my identity? No freaking way, man. That's all I have. That and a shitload of debt. So yeah, I don't really think you want my identity." Darcy takes another drink of coffee. "Damn, this is like really, really good."

Loki has to fight the urge to grit his teeth. Does this lower class woman honestly dare to not listen to what he says? She is making a mistake with that. Had he not needed her, he would have called her a lot more than what he did when they met, but now he bites his tongue. His smooth lies are not working so well right now, which is surprising.

What he resolves to do is appeal to her.

"Darcy, there is no question that we got off on the wrong foot," starts Loki.

"Damn straight."

"But I believe we ought to start over," finishes Loki.

"Well isn't that just so funny? I think I told you the same thing yesterday, asshole," snaps Darcy. "And then I introduced myself to you and you just were acting like the pompous ass you are. Now just cut to the chase with the price for your monkey suit, because I am not having sex with you."

Loki has to bite back the urge to sneer now. This woman, when she speaks, just spews nonsense and stupidity. Does she not realize any sane woman would appreciate such an offer? She is clearly more stupid than he assumed at first, so perhaps he should be clearer with his intentions.

"I do not desire sex with you," begins Loki slowly.

Darcy blinks. "Really? Huh. Then just get out the price, idiot."

Loki frowns at the term, but he decides to let it go as he merely says, "I have a proposition for you, Darcy. You tell me your last name and get to know me better, and I will not make you buy a new suit, even if you did ruin the last one."

Darcy quirks an eyebrow at him. "Okay, dude, you are just bipolar," she remarks. "I really don't think that we should get to a last-name basis yet. It's bad enough we're on a first-name basis. And, honestly, what's in this for you?"

So she isn't as stupid as he thought. But, while she is quick to ask the very questions he had not considered she might, she is still clueless about one aspect of him: his lies.

"Getting to know you. What else could I desire?" lies Loki smoothly.

Darcy raises a hand. "Wait, do you hear that? Yes, it's the eighteenth century calling; they want their medieval knight persona back," she says, taking a long drink of her coffee in satisfaction at her retort. "C'mon, dude, just spill! Unless it's about sex. Because if you still want sex, then I'd rather you not spill anything."

Loki is not surprised by her words; clearly if she is as foolish as she is, it is no surprise that she is crude as well. Normally he would frown at this, but he knows he must act as though he is genuinely interested, so what he does is say, "I mean it. I would like to get you know you better."

"Pfft, eighties rom-com lines? You clearly are desperate," notes Darcy. "But hey, I'm not a sucker when it comes to deals. If you're saying I don't have to pay for your suit, then maybe we can work something out."

Loki has to resist the urge to sigh in exasperation. That is what he has been suggesting this whole time! It is, after all, a perfect appeal to a lower-class woman: the act of not having to pay for something expensive.

"Precisely," says Loki instead, and he has to fold his hands together on the table as to avoid rubbing his temples in exasperation. "So, let me make up for yesterday. I am Loki"- here, he almost hesitates- "Odison. And you are?"

"Someone who needs some alcohol," mutters Darcy under her breath, and she raises her voice and says, "But if I have to do this, then, I'm Darcy Lewis." She doesn't add more about how strange she finds the situation, but Loki can tell by the way her eyes look that she finds it very strange indeed.

"Lewis," muses Loki, and he trains his eyes on Darcy's, smirking slightly. "Darcy Lewis. Your name is extremely...ordinary."

"Yours isn't, though whatever your parents were on when they named you sounds extraordinary," quips Darcy as soon as the words are out of his mouth. So she is not only crude, but quick-witted as well. Oh yes, she is definitely the person Loki needs.

"Charming," Loki deadpans, and Darcy shrugs in an offhanded way that shows this is only going to be more difficult for him. "Well, Ms. Lewis," he says now, "I believe that know we are acquainted better, we should exchange phone numbers."

"Geez, you make this sound like it's a business proposition," Darcy scoffs, not knowing that she is not far from right. "You clearly don't go out much, do you?"

Loki frowns. "That sort of information only pertains to me," he snips stiffly.

"So that's a yes, then. Totally called it," says Darcy cheerfully, and she reaches into her pocket and pulls out her cell phone. "But, y'know, I think you could have almost had it with this, asking-out-a-girl-wise. Almost, because I'm pretty sure if you hadn't made the offer of not having to pay for your suit, I wouldn't be doing this."

Loki fumes silently in his seat. This woman dares to suggest he has no clue what to do around women? That he is so awkward he could not have been able to lure her in had he not dismissed the payment of his suit? Clearly she has no clue what she has just been talked into, and yet, he cannot even gloat at the matter!

But, perhaps when this over, he can reveal his intentions to her. Then she will instantly regret all these insult she is giving him, and she will be sorry for ever saying such things. Yes, this could turn out to actually be a very satisfying event...

"Hey Mr. Perpetually-Brooding, you wanna join me back on Earth now?"

Loki distractedly looks at the silly woman seated across from him as she waves her phone at his face. He is about to sneer at the insult, and perhaps at her, when she suddenly breaks into a smile.

"Welcome back, Spock," she says breezily, and she passes him her phone. "I entered the number I texted you at. Just check if your name's spelled right, 'kay?"

It wasn't. Lokee Odonseen? She had outdone herself with stupidity this time.

"It isn't," Loki informs her. "I will correct it, and also change the number."

"Change the number? You broke your phone on the way here or something? I should really take notes of this stuff for Jane, because she clearly doesn't believe anyone is as bad with handling stuff as I am."

It's on the tip of Loki's tongue to say that this Jane person is right, but what he does settle for is to say, "I did not break anything. I merely have a separate phone I would rather you would contact me to."

"Two phones?" says Darcy, incredulous. "You have the money for two phones and you still wanted me to pay for your monkey suit? I can't even afford two good bras, let alone two phones."

So she clearly does not know who he is. Smirking, Loki realizes this must be why she was always made such crass comments towards his character; she did not realize just how important he is.

"I believe you do not know me, Darcy Lewis," Loki says smugly.

"Duh, I met you yesterday. And was that the purpose of me giving you my last name? So you could say my full name like a creeper?" retorts Darcy.

Loki ignores this as he sits up straight and says, "I am referring to who I am in terms of my importance. You see, I am the son of Odin Odison." There. Now let her make a crass comment about him now-

And suddenly, she bursts out into laughter.

"Hold up, hold up, Odin Odison?" wheezes out Darcy through spurts of laughter. "I'm sorry, but I think I understand what your parents were on when they named you: bitterness. Odin Odison. That"- here, she pauses to laugh again- "is hilarious!"

Loki frowns. "Excuse me?" he says.

"That is just some unfortunate name! Did your grandpa have a say in your name too? Clearly he must've, if he named his son Odin Odison," mocks Darcy further, making no move to relent her show of amusement.

Loki does not want to defend his father, having felt clearly wronged by said father, but he does not appreciate this lowly woman's commentary. Gritting his teeth, Loki manages not to sneer at the inferiority of her person and her comments. Clearly this is going to be a lot more painful than he assumed, and he had expected it to be a very painful ordeal.

"I am glad you find my name amusing," says Loki, frowning still, "but have you heard a word of what I said?" He said Odin's name. How can this woman still be amused? Why is she not in awe?

"Yeah, you're the son of a really bitter guy," says Darcy, grinning in her amused way and obviously thinking herself clever. "Is there something I should be getting out of this?"

"Yes. I am the son of Odin Odison." At least he was.

"And am I supposed to know who that is?" Darcy says, pausing to think. "Or impressed by this? Because I'll tell you right now, that is another lame way to pick up a girl."

Loki is dumbfounded. This woman does not know who Odin is? Who he is? Clearly he must remedy this. "Odin- my father," he starts, correcting himself hastily and continuing, "My father is the CEO of Asgard Industries."

Darcy bites her lip awkwardly. "Er, good for your dad, then? Honestly, I'm still here because of the whole not-paying-for-your-suit thing, and I probably need some pointers about this," she says. "Should I pretend to be shocked? Annoyed? Give me a hint at least."

Loki's phone buzzes. His work phone.

"Excuse me," he says politely, but in his mind, he is sneering at just how pathetic she is. Not knowing who Odin is, indeed! Not that it annoys him, of course; he could care less about Odin. What does annoy him is the fact that, as the son of Odin, he should be known.

He checks his phone and sees his boss is asking him to enter work an hour earlier. This makes him frown again. Having a boss is not something he particularly likes, and is one of the reasons to get Asgard Industries to be his. Right now, Loki is stuck working for his father's company division, Jötunheim Industries, and could not be more miserable.

Oh, the workplace is adequate, and the pay even more so; in fact, through his lies, Loki was able to secure a position high enough to practically run the business himself. However, the company is not his, nor will it be; Odin had long insisted the CEO be some man who he tried to keep good terms with. That same man is Loki's boss, and that is what irks him to the point of being miserable.

"Forgive me, Darcy," he says, putting his phone away. "I must get to work."

Darcy shrugs. "Sure, whatever," she says. "I've needed to bounce since I got here. My poli sci quiz is probably over, but if I hustle, I can get to chem. Not that that's a motivation..."

Loki stands and disperses of both their coffee cups, now used to her babbling and making no note of it. He shrugs on his coat and the turns to Darcy, resolving to keep charming her.

"Thank you, Ms. Lewis, for a wonderful time," he lies smoothly, taking her hand and kissing it again. "I do hope we can meet again sometimes."

Darcy looks baffled again (clearly, she doesn't find it likely he had a wonderful time, and she is right; he didn't at all). "Er, sure," she says. "Thanks for the coffee...I guess."

Loki nods in her direction before exiting the coffee shop before she does. Entering his car, he starts the drive to his work, deciding to get there even earlier than scheduled. He does not know what to make of Darcy Lewis just yet. It is clear he needs her as a ploy, and it is clear that she is attractive in some mind-boggling way, but that is all he can decipher of her.

Well, there is her quick wit and crudeness to add to the list, but the way he sees it, both add very nicely to the fact that she is a ploy. The perfect ploy, in fact. Smiling just the slightest, Loki even imagines Darcy meeting his parents; having her laugh at Odin to his face would be, oddly, satisfying. But there is plenty of time for that in the future. Right now, the image is enough to let him know he's picked the right woman.

Odin will never know what hit him.

Smirking, Loki eases his car into his usual parking spot as he reaches the building he works in. Casually walking inside, his hands in his pockets, he is greeted with the scattering of many employees who had once be walking in his direction. How refreshing; they all fear him. Well, they very well should.

Loki reaches his office, where his secretary stammers out a greeting.

"H-hello, Mr. Odison!" she says. "You're early!"

"I am, and what of it?" replies Loki coolly.

"W-well, I didn't expect you yet, so I never got the chance to tell the woman in your office to leave just yet," says his secretary. "I-I'm very sorry, sir-"

"Woman?" Loki echoes, and he strides past his secretary angrily and pushes open the door of his office just as angrily. His anger falls through to confusion when he finds Sif sitting at this desk, casually studying some pencils and waiting.

"Loki," she says simply, lifting her gaze up to meet his.

"Sif," replies Loki, and he steps inside, shutting the door behind him. "What a lovely surprise. Did Thor put you up to this? Or, dare I say, Odin?"

"Neither." Sif stands up. "I came to see you."

Loki smirks. "Couldn't stay away, could you?" he teases, not caring how flirty that comes off as; he is charming to a fault, no matter what Darcy says. Wait. He was not supposed to think of Darcy...

"Couldn't stay away from your superb flirting skills, of course," says Sif dryly before she cuts to the chase. "Look, Loki, Thor told me about everything that happened."

"Of course he did," Loki says, smirking even more. "The man's head is so empty that everything he's told simply has to come out of his mouth."

Sif rolls her eyes. "I already told you I'm not going to listen to you degrade your brother like that," she snaps. "I'm here because I need to know if you're okay."

"So you can tell all your findings to Thor," deadpans Loki simply.

Sif bristles. "You can't assume things like that. I'm your friend."

"Yes, and what a friend you are," says Loki harshly. "You called me, did you not? And, I believe, you expressed your concern for me calling my brother through a message you left."

"And so what if I did? That does not have to mean anything."

"To you, perhaps, but I can read between the lines," Loki snaps. "I know you are here only because Thor wants you to be, and you cannot deny Thor anything."

"I am here because I want to make sure you're okay. That is the only reason why," Sif says firmly. "What happened to you yesterday must have been hard for you. I don't know how anyone could handle that, let alone you."

"And what does that entail?"

"It entails that you are a wreck most times," says Sif matter-of-factly. "You have always been sensitive when it comes to things. What happened yesterday had to have had a big effect on you."

"Well, you are wrong about that. It had no effect on me."

Sif shakes her head and stands, letting the pencil she had been studying fall. "You are a gifted liar, Loki," she says softly, "but I know you better than you assume I do. You, Thor, and I all grew up together."

"And?" sneers Loki.

"And I know you are lying now," says Sif. "It is alright not to be okay, you know."

Loki moves closer to her, silently daring her to keep speaking. "You are too inquisitive for your own good, Sif," he says, sighing mockingly. "What would Thor think of all this?"

"I am not going to talk about Thor," says Sif sharply.

"Well, I am. Thor is a nice fellow, of course, and the beautiful woman he met last night appeared to be even nicer. Now, doesn't that hurt you, dear Sif? The fact that Thor met a woman and is probably with her right now out of pure attraction and interest, and yet, he can't see you as anyone other than a friend?" asks Loki, smirking at how Sif's face falls. Good. He's gotten her right where he wants her.

"I..." Sif trails off, and then she clears her throat. "Loki, stop changing the subject."

Loki moves even closer so only the desk separates them. "Does it not bother you, Sif?" he asks smugly. "Such news had to have had a big effect on you."

Sif's gaze darkens at the use of her own words against her. "Loki-"

"No, please, let me speak," interrupts Loki calmly, for that is how he tears people down: calmly and coldly, so they will not know what hit them. "You see, Sif, I am very much on your side here. Thor is an idiot for not recognizing your affections, of course, but I would definitely like to see the two of you together..."

"Stop," Sif snaps.

Loki ignores her. "But, really, what do you expect? Thor is just too thick to realize what is right in front of him. Unless...he has noticed," he says smugly.

Sif's eyes widen. "You did not tell him, did you?" she asks hastily.

"Perhaps, but then again, perhaps not," says Loki breezily. "And if he does have even the slightest idea that you fancy him, do you really expect him to say anything? Why would he ever say something that could hurt one of his best friends?"

"Stop," orders Sif again, though more harshly. "Listen to me, okay? You-"

"No, you listen to me," Loki snarls, slamming a fist down on his desk. "You are just as thick as he is, Sif. You don't realize that he has never said anything to you because clearly your feelings are not mutual. They will never be mutual. You are doomed to be ranked low forever. By him, by everyone..."

"Stop!" Sif moves away from his desk, and she actually looks quite hurt; that means Loki has done well on his task of tearing her down. "You are messing with my mind because you're upset."

"I am messing with your mind because I must," retorts Loki.

"No you mustn't. This is not you, Loki," says Sif, attempting to be gentle, but still looking upset at how well Loki has torn her character down.

"Oh my dear, dear Sif," Loki purrs. "Of course it is."

Sif angrily strides to the door, but before she exits, she turns around and angrily says, "I was trying to help you, and you purposely made me upset. If this is how you're going to keep acting, Loki, then I hope for Thor's sake that he never accepts you as his brother again."

"That makes two of us, dearest," says Loki smugly, and he watches as Sif leaves, angrily slamming the door behind her once she's gone.

Satisfied, Loki sits down at his desk, carefully rearranging the pencils Sif had been studying back into a cup he kept on his desk. He is about to call for his secretary to bring the reports for today when his eyes fall on the framed picture Thor had insisted Loki keep on his desk when he first got his office. It is a picture of Loki, Thor, and their parents, all of them younger and more naïve as they beam for a reason he does not recall.

Loki lets his fingers rest over the picture once, lingering on the faces of his parents, before unmistakable fury rises in his throat. The sight of the people he once thought to be his family is enough to drive him upset. Angrily, he throws the picture on the ground and is rewarded by the sound of the glass breaking.

And how metaphoric it all is, isn't it? He has dropped the perfect image of his family to the point where it is broken, and now all he's ever going to do when he gazes upon the image is find it cracked. And now, with the help of Darcy Lewis, he is not only going to crack the image, but he is going to shatter it.

Mariale-26

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To everyone listed above, thank you so much for reviewing! Thank you to everyone else who read/favorited/followed as well. I would also like to add two things about this chapter: 1. My Darcy is not very well-written, I'm afraid. 2. Sif always talking to Loki might seem strange now, but I assure you, everything that happens happens for a reason. ;)