The next day found Jules in the kitchen, staring at the contents of the pantry with an intense expression of distaste on her face. Peri was asleep on the counter, her head resting on her arms and her legs curled up on the seat of her chair.
Jules had made the decision of toast and peanut butter for breakfast when Loki walked into the room. She pulled the bread off the shelf and got out four pieces – two for her and two for Peri. She turned to Loki.
"I know it's a long shot, but you wouldn't happen to know where the peanut butter is, would you?" she asked him. He furrowed his brows and shook his head. Jules cursed.
"That cannot be comfortable," he said, gesturing to Peri. Jules shrugged.
"Probably not, but Peri's had worse pain." Loki looked like he was about to ask what Jules meant when Peri spoke.
"Darn right," she said, sitting in her chair the way it was meant to be sat in, "So, Loki, what's the deal?"
"I'm sorry?" he asked.
"How come you're walking around? Odin's not really that stupid, is he? Did he take away your magic or something?" Loki's eyebrows raised in shock. Peri simply stared at him, her head resting on her hand.
"Yes, he did. How did you know that?" Peri smirked.
"I'm smarter than I look." Loki opened his mouth to say something in response, but Tony walked into the kitchen, cutting him off. "Morning, Mom."
He stopped dead in his tracks and stared at Peri.
"Since when am I Mom? I thought I was Dad," he stated.
"We've received new information," Jules declared as her toast popped up, "Now, where's the peanut butter?"
"Fridge," Tony answered, "What new information?"
Jules and Peri simply giggled. Tony narrowed his eyes, but shook his head and told the girls he was going down to the garage. Peri looked at Loki as Jules pulled the peanut butter out of the fridge and sneered at the bottle.
"Why'd they put it in the fridge? It's practically unspreadable by now…" Jules grumbled.
"Mom didn't so much as give you a second glance, were you hiding from him?" Peri questioned.
"Yes. Why do you call Anthony Stark your mother?"
"Because he's dating my dad. Therefore he is my mom."
"But he's a man, I don't understand why-" Loki was cut off by Jules screaming bloody murder. Peri's head whipped around and Loki jumped. Jules had thrown the peanut butter jar across the room and covered her heart with her hand. She was hyperventilating and there was a wild look in her eye.
"What happened?!" Peri demanded.
"I'm going to kill that man," Jules whispered sinisterly.
"How much?" Peri asked.
"Hella."
The redhead giggled and the Peri glared at her back.
"Wait, what happened?!" Loki shouted, still confused over the whole "mom" thing.
"Tony put a rubber spider in the peanut butter," Jules replied, "I just admitted last week how much I hate them when he watched Peri throw one out for me."
"Oh," he finished. He leaned against the wall and received stares from both of the teenagers. (Although, if the math was done, he was also a teenager.) "What? Why are you both watching me?"
Peri studied him intensely while Jules answered.
"Well… It's just, going by the news reports we've watched and the things the Avengers say about you, we kind of expected you to be a douche. No offense. But seriously, now that we've met you, you're actually kind of… Normal."
Loki cocked an eyebrow.
"Kind of normal? I am a Prince of Asgard, I should be superior to anyone you've met in your pathetic mortal existences," he declared, standing up straight and developing the regal stance he had learned as a small child.
Peri smirked and turned to Jules, amusement dancing in her eyes.
"He's cute," she said, "Can we keep him?"
"Cute?"
"I don't know, Peri," Jules started, "I mean, New York…"
"Yeah, but where would we be if certain people hadn't forgiven us for murder?"
"Do I get a say in this?" Loki asked indignantly.
"No," the girls said in unison. He shut his mouth and folded his arms like a stubborn five-year-old.
"We may have killed people, Peri, but he committed genocide."
"Come on, Jules, forgiveness is a thing that isn't nearly utilized enough. He's probably just misunderstood."
"Dad would be really upset if we befriended this guy."
Peri shrugged.
"If people learned to love each other despite their pasts, and forgot what it meant to judge, the world would be a better place."
Jules' eyebrows shot up.
"Did you just?"
"Oh yeah," stated Peri, "I just."
Jules huffed and put her hands on her hips. She had a staring contest with Peri that made Loki a bit uncomfortable, then closed her eyes and huffed again.
"Fine," she said slowly, quietly, "fine. We'll keep him. But the next time you fall in love with a stray cat, Peri, we're not taking it home." Jules opened her eyes to see Peri's mouth agape.
"But- But they're just sweet little kitties!"
"You should have thought of that before you asked to adopt the horse-lover."
Loki grew angry (but more embarrassed than anything) at the mention of the horse thing.
"Hey!" he protested, "that was one time!"
"Whatever, horse boy, we've made a decision. You shall be our friend. Whether you like it or not."
Loki didn't know what to say. He stood there in silence, letting the girls stare at him and wonder if he was okay. He resisted the urge to smile. Midgardians were idiots. Just like Odin. He would be rotting in jail now if it weren't for this idiocy, combined with Frigga's love for him. Loki couldn't help but think about the day before, when he had convinced Odin he loved the blue-haired female seated before him.
"Loki," Odin had practically growled, "what is the meaning of this?"
Loki pretended to be ashamed, looking at his feet and placing his hands behind his back. Thor and Frigga stared at him with a kind of reverence, like if they touched him he would shatter.
"That girl Baldur brought before you earlier is of Midgard. I… I must confess to have been watching her for some time… She fascinates me in a way no other has before… She's beautiful and spirited, and a warrior as well. I became enamoured with her, All-father, and intended to join her on Midgard and give her my heart. I knew you wouldn't approve, as she is not Asgardian, and the only way I thought to fix this was by faking my death. For this I am truly sorry, but I love the girl, Father," he punctuated this by looking Odin in the eyes, "and I wish to be with her."
He and Odin stared at each other, Odin unsure of what to say, Loki resisting the urge to laugh. Frigga clenched her fists and kneeled by the side of her husband's throne. They shared a whispered conversation, and though it was short, it seemed to be a heated argument. Finally, Frigga smiled and stood. Odin turned back to Loki.
"Loki," he started angrily, "your crimes on Midgard are not to be forgiven. However, your mother seems to think your love for the human is genuine and asks that I allow you to live with her on Earth. This, I will give you, but not without conditions."
He paused, causing Loki to fidget impatiently.
"And what are the conditions?" he asked, unable to wait longer.
"You are to be stripped of your power, and the title that comes with it. You will no longer be a prince of my kingdom and you must confess your affections to the child within a year's time. If she loves you in return, I may allow you to return here and make her your bride. But if she doesn't, or if you make no move to admit your love, I will bring you back here merely to be put on trial and punished for treason. Is that understood?" Odin spat.
Loki was honestly shocked. He knew Odin wouldn't simply let him go, but he hadn't expected such a harsh verdict. He nodded slowly.
"Yes, All-Father. Shall I ready for the journey to Midgard?"
"Hmm," Odin turned to Thor now, "Take him to your human friends and ask for their hospitality. Don't let this traitor out of your sight. Go prepare now."
Thor smiled and nodded, practically skipping out of the room while Loki watched him with disgust. Suddenly, a sharp pain pierced his abdomen, spreading through his torso and into his limbs, making him gasp and cry out. When the pain reached his head, he fell to the ground. He thought he could hear Frigga sob, but it might have been a hallucination. It felt as if a knife were running through his soul, scraping out a part of him and tossing it to the side. It was his magic, being torn away from him and stored somewhere Loki couldn't name. He coughed and retched, hoping against hope that the pain would stop soon. His eyes were shut and his hands clawed, and then, miraculously, it stopped. Loki took deep breath after deep breath, trying to steady his heartbeat. The pain was gone, but his body still felt the memory, and he winced when he got back up to his feet.
"Go now," Odin called, "and don't come back until that girl is yours."
Loki smiled at the girl before him now, as if he were actually touched by the sentiment. They were making things all too easy for him.
"Alright," he almost whispered, "friends. Now, how would you like to repay Stark for his little gift?"
He nodded to the rubber spider, making Jules and Peri smile so sinisterly he was almost concerned for Stark's well-being. Almost.
Three days later, and their trap was set. Tony would be caught completely off-guard. Loki and the girls had maintained a distance the past three days, so no one would be suspicious as to what they were up too. They met at night in secret. Of course, JARVIS had to be converted to their side. If not, he would have told Tony everything. At breakfast the day of the big shah-bang (at least, that was what Peri called it), Peri held up a box of Captain Crunch triumphantly and announced that Loki and Thor were to try it instantly.
"But… What is it?" Thor asked, making Jules smile. She couldn't help it. She thought he was adorable. Peri had already made fun of her for it, insisting she had a crush on him. Jules merely shrugged and said he was hot, and Peri had no room to judge because of her crush on Bruce. Peri would blush and insist it was different. Jules rolled her eyes every time.
"It's cereal," Peri said, snapping Jules to the present. "Food. Sustenance. You'll like it, trust me."
"I'm not sure that would be a good idea," Loki mumbled. Peri shot him a look. "It does not look like food! This you cannot deny!"
"It's tasty, and you will eat it, or so help me Loki, I'll shove it down your throat," Peri nearly growled. Loki tilted his head up stubbornly, glaring at Peri. She glared right back. Meanwhile Thor was munching on the bowl Peri had already made for him. He had a goofy looking grin on his face, reminding Jules of a little kid with ice cream. He finished quickly and sat tall in his chair and declared loudly:
"This meal. I like it. Another!"
Peri broke her glare with Loki to cock her eyebrow at Thor. He humbled quickly.
"Please."
Peri smiled; assuring him he'd done the right thing, and made him another bowl of Captain Crunch. He made the goofy grin again and dove right in. Peri returned to glaring at Loki. To her surprise, he was holding the bowl in his hands, examining the contents. He slowly reached forwards and grabbed the spoon in front of him. He delicately inserted the spoon and took a bite of the cereal. He huffed, grumbling about it not being as good as Asgardian cuisine, but continued to eat it anyway.
The group of four was startled by a strangled yelp from the general vicinity of Tony. Thor jumped into action instantly, summoning his hammer and racing to the elevator. He stood stock-still while he waited for it, and nearly hopped into it when it arrived. When it descended, JARVIS spoke to the three people left behind.
"You'll be pleased to know that Mr Stark has found his little surprise."
"Thank you, JARVIS," Jules said, turning to her friends.
"My pleasure, Madame."
The three friends burst into laughter then. Loud, long, tear-inducing laughter that caused pain in the sides.
Peri stopped quickly, covering her mouth with her hand and closing her eyes. Jules and Loki stopped as they saw this.
"Peri? What-" Loki started to ask, but Peri held up one finger and ran off to the bathroom. He turned to Jules, an expression of concern on his face. "What's the matter with her?"
Jules just looked at him sadly and shook her head.
"She'll tell you eventually. It'll take a while, seeing as she hasn't even told Bruce yet."
"Bruce? The Hulk? What does he have to do with anything?" he asked, almost angrily. Jules raised her eyebrows and looked at him, an idea forming in her head.
"Why so jealous?" she said, making him blush.
"I'm not jealous."
"Are too."
"Am not."
"Are too!"
"Am not!"
"Admit it!"
"There's nothing to admit!"
"Yes there is!"
"No there isn't!"
This went on for a while, stopping only when Loki threw his hands into the air and yelled "FINE! I'm jealous!"
Jules smirked and giggled menacingly.
"You liiiiike her," she sang.
"Of course I like her, she wouldn't be my friend if I didn't," he argued, the blush intensifying.
"You know what I mean."
"I'm sure I don't."
"Come on, Loki," she folded her hands as if begging, "Bruce is a nice guy, but he's twice her age, and he's got too many issues. I don't want her getting hurt. Please admit it. Pretty please?" She developed puppy eyes, hoping they would help. Loki narrowed his eyes at her, like he was trying to discern her thought process. He sighed.
"You'd rather her be with the man who tried to take over the world, instead of the man who took down said dictator?" he rubbed his hand down his face.
"At least said dictator admits he has a problem and regrets his actions. The man who took him down knows he has a problem but can't do anything about it. Peri has the tendency to step on toes. It's highly possible she'll get him angry one day. So yes, I would much rather she be with the guy who tried to take over the world."
Loki eyed her suspiciously, but then rolled his eyes. Jules smiled, knowing it was a sign of agreement.
"Thank you," she said, just as Peri came back into the room.
"For what? Did he finally tell you the name of a good therapist?" she inquired.
"Ha-ha," Jules laughed sarcastically, "yes, actually. He thinks you need all the help you can get."
"Oh, I'm the one who needs help, am I? What were you saying the other day about scented candles? Something about them not being strong enough to hide the stench of blood-"
"Hey, that was a joke, and you know it!"
"So was when I said I liked your dress."
"Wait a second," Loki shouted, "why are you insulting each other and smiling? Is this some twisted show of affection?"
"Yes," they said in unison. Loki stared at them, not quite sure if they actually needed therapy or not.
Tony chose this moment to get out of the elevator. He was not happy, to say the least. The trio burst into laughter again. Tony fumed.
"Nice hairdo, Mom!" Jules somehow managed to say. He turned his glare on her, his freshly dyed pink hair making a satisfying swish.
"I don't know how you did it," he said, his pink beard bobbing up and down with his jaw, "but I hope you know that this. Means. War." With this threat, he took his leave, re-entering the elevator, no doubt going to the garage to plot his revenge.
Loki, Peri, and Jules looked at each other proudly.
"We need a team name," Jules decided.
"Yes," Peri agreed, "How about 'Team Shire'?"
"Loki's too tall to be a hobbit, 'Team Smaug,' maybe?"
"Nah, too threatening. 'Team Erebor'?"
"Again, he's too tall. 'Team Bad Wolf'?"
"No, 'Team Highly Functioning Sociopaths.'"
"How's 'Team Free Will'?"
"That's already taken."
"Well you're not coming up with anything better."
"Hey," Loki interrupted, "I do not understand a word coming out of your mouths right now. Some explanation would be lovely, if it's not too much trouble for you," he finished sarcastically. Peri and Jules exchanged another glance.
"Team Quest," they said, once again in unison. Their ability to do this was starting to scare Loki.
"Why Team Quest?" he asked, almost afraid to know the answer.
"Because," Peri started matter-of-factly, "we are now on a quest to shove every fandom we know down your throat."
"Um… Okay?"
Peri and Jules smiled and laughed.
"Don't worry, you'll only go a little bit crazy," Jules promised. Loki gave her a look like "excuse me?" and Peri grabbed his hand. He started, his cheeks going a bit pink as Jules smiled at him imperiously. Peri grabbed Jules' hand, and Jules used her free hand to grab hold of Loki's free hand.
"We are Team Quest," Peri began dramatically, "a society of people with superior intellect and a desire to share their genius with the world. We are a family, not a group of strangers. We are friends, not enemies. We are lovers, not fighters. We are one, not three. We are Team Quest. And we are unstoppable." Peri and Jules threw their hands into the air, and Loki followed suit so he didn't look stupid. For the first time in a long time, though, he felt happy. Sure, the girls were dorky and weird, but they cared, and they were merciful, and Loki liked it. And he honestly thought he wouldn't mind living the rest of his life like this.
Obviously, I don't own any of the characters in this story except for Peri and Jules... Well… Okay, I only own Peri. I don't own anything I make a reference to in any chapter. Also I started writing this before I saw Thor 2 so this story DOES NOT follow the Thor 2 timeline AT ALL. But hey, moving on. I'm not a professional writer, but I'd very much like to be a novelist one day. If you could kindly give me some tips and pointers on how to improve, I'd be much obliged. Have a great day, and thank you for taking the time out of your life to read my manuscript!