Stranger From the Sky, chapter 8: "…Who Am I?"

I don't own the Teen Titans

"…Who am I?"

Later: Back in her room at the Tower, Athena sat/knelt in her room, thinking. There was no excuse for her actions. She had been told the H.I.V.E. Five were criminals; what sort of behavior could she expect from criminals but criminal behavior? Even the one who'd shown a sign of affection towards her, the one called Blackfire, who'd kissed her, was a known criminal. She had known that from the beginning. But her own emotions, her own eagerness to find a place, a group where she would actually fit in had blinded her to their obviously criminal actions.

And now she was a criminal, too. Of the worst sort.

By Osiran law, there was only one punishment for the criminal behavior she'd exhibited.

And so she lay back, flat upon the floor, hands across her torso, and began the process of ending her life, of turning off her internal organs, of turning her mind inward, of ceasing to live….

….

Meanwhile, upstairs, a strangely humble Blackfire was telling the assembled Titans what had happened, confessing everything, including her part in it. "And I told her it wasn't really a crime, as no one would be hurt. So she agreed, and, well, you know the rest." Omega had replaced all the money, exactly as Athena had taken it, only in reverse. He'd insisted on doing so, even though some of the Titans believed she should be held accountable for her actions the same as any one else. But, as he'd correctly pointed out, many, if not most, of the individuals present had, at one time or another, caused destruction on such a scale as to require similar amounts of money, if not more, to restore the damage, either in battles with villains or in other ways. And, in this case, all the money had been returned, so no actual harm had been done. Besides, Athena had acted out of simple ignorance, not malicious intent. It wasn't the sort of thing she'd be likely to do again. She'd simply been tricked, that was all. He was unusually insistent about keeping the matter under wraps, including out-arguing a still-simmering Raven, something nobody had ever seen anybody do before.

Omega turned to the group. "I think Blackfire is telling the truth. Please remember, Athena is a stranger to this world, and has not had the chance to mind-meld with someone the way I did with Hank when I first came here. All she knows is what she's been told. She—*" He suddenly started, standing up. "She's killing herself! I have to go!" And he vanished, phasing through the floor down into Athena's little room.

Athena lay upon the floor, in a relaxed position. Already, her lesser internal organs were beginning to cease functioning; next would be her major organs; her mind was beginning to shut down. She felt at peace. Soon, she would know oblivion; all would then be well.

Only in oblivion is there no wish that remains unfulfilled.

{{Athena! Listen to me!}} It was the command of a Lord. But the Lords were no more. Weren't they?

{{You will cease this action! Immediately! I command you to live!}}

Athena attempted to fight the command; after all, she had committed a crime, and criminals were punished by death. But the command of a Lord was not to be disobeyed, by anyone. She found herself wanting to live, wanting to recover from the effects of the process she'd begun. And so her internal organs began to function once again, her mind began to turn outward, her senses returning to their normal state. She felt herself returning to the world of pain that she'd known, and had tried so desperately to leave.

The other Titans, and, curiously enough, Blackfire, had rushed down to her room from the conference room where they had been. Omega was kneeling at her head, holding her head between his knees, his hands upon either side of her head. Kitten and Terra had moved to either side. Raven, Robin noticed, was conspicuously absent. However, unnoticed by almost everyone, Blackfire had edged into the room, and was kneeling at the feet of the supine Osiran. Kitten and Terra were rubbing her arms, an automatic gesture of support, and, although only Robin noticed, Blackfire was rubbing Athena's legs, with her still-enshackled hands. "C'mon, girl. Come on back to us. It wasn't your fault…don't leave me like this…." She whispered. Only Robin was close enough to hear her say that. Interesting. Very interesting. He filed it away for future reference….

Athena's eyes opened gradually, expecting to see the Lord who'd commanded her to live. But all she saw was the traitor whom she'd been ordered to remain away from. She was still too weak to move, but she hitched herself away as best as she could, rolling across the floor. Kitten barely got out of the way in time; since Osirans mass so much more than humans, it was as if a bulldozer was turning over onto its side. Athena rolled over onto her stomach, but found she could go no further.

"Leave her," said Omega. "I believe she will recover from this, given time. What her mental state will be, I do not know."

"I think we'd still better have Cyborg rig a security-cam in here with her, just to monitor her, make sure nothing else happens. But Omega….what did you just do?"

"I….I do not know."

….

Seven hours later, Omega still had no answer to that. He was sitting in his room, on his reinforced bed, with Kitten by his side. She'd run everybody else off. "When we know anything, we'll let you know," was all she'd say.

Omega sat looking intently at his hands. She sat beside him, quietly, waiting. "I…..I don't know what just happened, Kitten. I have no idea…" He kept on steadily looking at his hands.

"Why are you looking at your hands, Omega?" she asked softly.

He was silent for so long that she was beginning to think he wasn't going to answer. Then, "I issued a clear command. It was not Link. I may have intended it to be in the Link, and, after a fashion, it was, but….."

"But?"

"But it was not communication. Kitten," and here he turned to her, "You and I communicate. By sound. Should the circumstances warrant it, I might conceivably shout at you, which is somewhat what I intended to do to Athena, but….."

"But that's not what happened, was it?"

"No. I gave her a clear command. Only I shouldn't have been able to do that. Only Lords can give such commands. It is just not possible for a warrior to command someone. It just….isn't."

"So...what are you saying? That you're actually a Lord? That you didn't know? I mean, what?"

"I cannot be a Lord. Not only do I lack the physical height and other characteristics of a Lord, Lords have six fingers." He held up his hands. Only five fingers were in evidence. "I never mentioned it before because I felt it wasn't relevant, but it was a genetic anomaly, albeit a completely useless one, peculiar to Lords and only to Lords. I cannot be a Lord. Yet, I acted like one. I gave her a clear command. One she could not disobey."

"Okay, so, worst-case scenario, what if you do have Lord-like powers? Or even so what if you happen to actually be a Lord, in some way? I mean, so what? You're still you, aren't you?"

He turned to her. "Am I? Who am I? What am I? Kitten, the Lords were Lords because they had a built-in genetic urge to conquer, to control everything and everyone around them. They weren't all evil, exactly, not at first, at least, but the urge to conquer, to control was what led to the never-ending state of war that characterized my people during the last days of my recollection. That was why I fought them. They, the ones I dealt with, sought only to expand their region of control, at the expense of all others. That was why I felt it necessary to, to kill them, to get rid of them altogether.

"Kitten, I—I may be my own worst nightmare, come to life." He continued to stare at his hands, as if afraid they'd suddenly sprout an extra finger. He looked up at her in what could only be interpreted as barely controlled terror. "Even you."

"Whaaaaat?"

"The Lords were masters of mental and emotional manipulation. That's how they controlled the rest of us. They made us want to do certain things, and left us to figure out how to get it done. If I have some sort of Lord-like power-how do you know, how do I know, that what you feel for me is genuine? What if you feel what you feel because…because I want you to?" Kitten had never seen him looking this scared.

And she could relate. Kind of. After her transformation, she'd accidently stung her own father, without meaning to, but just as a reflex. Did she now have the reflex to sting anyone who got within range of her stinger-tipped tail? The claws, with their electrical discharge, were pretty much under her control, but the tail….it was a totally new body part, one she didn't know how to use….or if it would use her.

It was one thing not to trust others. But not being able to trust yourself….?

But Omega had helped her through that, helped her see that the tail was under her conscious control, that it didn't have a mind of its own, that it was just another body part, nothing more, just like her arms and legs. Since he was invulnerable, he was safe to be around; she couldn't sting him, so it was safe to experiment. So Kitten could understand Omega's concern. If his suspicions were accurate, there was really nobody that it was safe for him to be around. Suppose her attraction to him was due to his subconscious use of his emotional manipulation powers, powers he hadn't even been aware he'd had? It was a legitimate question. But….

She thought. The transformation that had changed her, given her the poison-stingered tail, taser claws, and bright red skin had changed far more than just her superficial physical characteristics. She now possessed a brain that worked at a truly superhuman level, and, with the exception of Angelique, was probably one of the most intelligent members of the entire human race. True, she was still human, and some things just didn't occur to her, and, being human, there were some things she didn't like to think about, but once she put her mind to a problem, the solution usually came almost instantaneously.

"Look, Omega. You've seen human women on the street whom you thought were attractive, right? I mean, you just have, haven't you? It's kinda normal."

"Well, I, I suppose I have…"

"And don't you think Starfire is hot?"

"Hot?"

"You know. Desirable. You'd haveta be like the Orb to think otherwise."

"Well, I think she is pretty, yes. But that means noth-*"

"And haven't you, at some point or another, just thought that maybe, just maybe, Raven was kinda cute?"

"But what does any of that have to do with-*"

"If you really had this, this subconscious power to manipulate emotions, like the Lords did, only you didn't know about it, they'd be falling all over you. They prob'ly couldn't keep their hands offa you. But they haven't, have they?"

"No…."

"The Lords' control of others was conscious and deliberate. I mean, there was no other way for it to work. You don't build an empire by means of the subconscious, now do you?

"Besides. When we first started going out, I—I was just using you to get at Robin. I didn't feel anything for you. I just—and I hate to say it, but it's true—saw you as an easy mark, somebody whom I could play like a violin, to get some dirt on the Titans for revenge purposes. That doesn't sound like this subconscious 'love me, love me' you're afraid you've been broadcasting, now does it?"

"No….."

"Look, Omega: I've had people—villains—fuck with my emotions before. I know what it feels like." She paused a moment. "And didn't you practically haveta scream at her to, to do whatever it was you did?" He nodded, wordlessly.

She stood up and began removing her costume, a naughty smile on her face. "But right now, it's not your emotions, exactly, that I wanna fuck with. So do that thingy where you shrank your uniform, 'kay? And lie down face up on your bed…."

"What? Why?" He was still distracted, and confused, but not as afraid as he had been. But he did as he was told, pushing in and twisting the button on his collar.

"You'll see. Now just lie down, honey, face up, okay? Door's locked this time. Just let me do the driving for now." And she slid herself over him, guiding him into her, beginning to move in a rhythm as old as humanity itself, if not older. It felt soooooo good. "Ooooh. Yeah, this'll take a little getting used to, but in a such a gooooooood way….."

….

Down in her room, Athena sat in her usual sitting-on-her-heels position, thinking.

Omega had issued her a clear command. Only Lords could issue such commands. Omega was not a Lord….or was he?

If he was a Lord….it changed everything.

What humans called a "double standard" was more than just the norm on Osira. It was the law. Actually, it was a triple standard: The Lords were subject to one set of rules and laws, the warriors to another, and the Thinkers to a third.

For a Lord to kill another Lord was technically against the law…but it had happened. Sometimes Lords went rogue and had to be killed, or at least overpowered and locked in stasis fields forever. For warriors to kill Lords was definitely against the law, and punishable by death, and by death alone, but of course, warriors had to be able to kill other warriors. Hence her vehemence in wishing his death. But if he was a Lord, and she had tried to kill him…..

That could mean only one thing.

There was a knock on her door, interrupting her thought processes. "Enter," she said.

It was the one known as Blackfire, still enshackled in the specialized cuffs and with the polarized wrap-around that effectively neutralized her optical blasts. Two armored guards accompanied her, standing just within arm's reach. Athena rose from her kneeling posture and faced the Tameranean female. "I…just wanted to let you know, they'll be taking me to an interstellar holding facility soon." Athena said nothing. What was there to say? "I don't blame you if you hate me," Blackfire continued, looking at the floor, "After all, I did deceive you into going along with our robbery. And, and, I'm sorry. If I had it to do over again, knowing what I know now, I wouldn't. I know that doesn't help anything, but….. I am sorry. Probably for the first time in my entire life."

Athena walked over to the Tameranean. The dark-haired girl had deceived her, and deceived her mightily. She did not know if she could ever recover from the effects of the actions she'd taken due to the deception. And she could so easily vaporize this little humanoid with very little effort. But she remembered her own mistakes, and the horrible repercussions that had resulted…

First, she'd hated Omega, stating she could not forgive him.

Then she'd violated the privacy of the girl called Raven. Knowing now exactly what she'd done, she doubted the dark girl would ever forgive her. Nor could she really blame her.

So maybe it was time for a change.

She took the other girl's hands in her own and said, "I forgive you. It is in the past. And the past is over with." And then, for some reason she was never able to explain, she leaned forward, took the other girl's head in her hands gently, and placed what humans called a kiss on her forehead. "Now. Go in peace, and may it be well with you. Perhaps when next we meet, it will be as…..perhaps it will be under better circumstances."

As Blackfire turned to go, she turned back briefly. "I hope I get to see you soon. Do…do you suppose….that might happen? Will you….will you visit me?"

"I do not know."

To be continued….