Disclaimer: I do not own American Idiot.
"He's so calm." Krystina says, rocking him in her arms. "I thought babies were supposed to cry all the time."
I grin at her. "So did I, actually. He's a blessing." I stand, opening the diaper bag we took from Heather's apartment before we left.
I pull out a bottle, filling it with formula powder. Jillian said she would go warm up some water for us about ten minutes ago, but she may have gotten caught up with Tunny along the way.
"And he looks just like you." She kisses his forehead, glancing up at me. "I can see what you meant about Heather and Alex now. I mean, what were they going to do if you hadn't showed up on time? Leave him there alone?"
"They probably would have taken him with and ignored him or something. Sometimes Heather likes to just give him his pacifier and pretend he's not around. She loves him; it just gets to be too much for her. And Alex is a terrible influence." I wrap my arms around Krystina's waist, pulling her against me.
"He doesn't really seem like the rock star type. He's too pretty." She sits on my lap, cooing at Elton.
"Well, yeah. His music is really pretty, too. The guy doesn't have many redeeming qualities. But, he did convince her to come back here. Something about how whether or not I abandon Elton should be my choice." I tell her, stroking her hair. "I was in a bad place when Heather left, but I have changed. And I think I deserve to know my son."
"You definitely do. I bet you're a really great dad." She leans against me, keeping her eyes on Elton.
"I hope so." I say, and we're silent for a moment.
Then, Jillian comes into the room with a measuring cup full of water. I can't help but notice that her hair is a little messy.
"Here!" She takes the bottle from me, pouring the water into it. "Sorry, something must be wrong with our microwave. It just wouldn't get hot."
"I'm sure that's what it was." I say with a smile, and she blushes, handing me the bottle back.
I screw the lid on and shake it up. Jillian sits beside Krystina and I and starts to talk to her about Elton.
"Do you want to feed him?" I ask, holding the bottle out to my girlfriend.
She nods and takes it, positioning it into his mouth. She's wearing a look of pure fascination as he begins to drink it. She leans her head against mine, studying Elton carefully.
"He's probably the cutest baby I've ever seen." Jillian says, running a hand through his hair. "Tunny and I have considered stealing him from Will and Heather all the time. We just love him so much."
"Why don't you steal him from Heather and Alex and then we can share?" I ask, watching my son closely.
Jillian laughs, shaking her head.
"Heather isn't so bad. It's just Alex. You can tell he doesn't really care about anything." She pauses. "Except for himself."
"She was a lot easier to stand before he came into the picture." I say.
"I guess I wouldn't know." Jillian says, standing up. "I'm going to go see if Tunny needs any help cooking. If you need anything just yell for me, okay?" And with that, she walks back into the kitchen.
I smile widely, because the only things I need are sitting in my lap right now.
Somehow, Tunny talks me into driving him to the 7Eleven so he can pick up a few things. Jillian got Elton to sleep, and she and Krystina seemed happy enough to talk to each other for a while.
"So, how long have you known her?" Tunny asks, looking at the window.
"About a month," I say, gripping the steering wheel. "It's real though, Tunny. She's it for me."
"I can see that." Tunny says with a nod. "Jillian and I hadn't known each other for very long and she came all this way for me. I understand that."
"She's perfect. And she fucking loves me. I mean, she probably deserves better. But I fucking love her too." I say quietly, messing with the controls on the radio for a second.
"Have you guys done it yet?" He asks with a smile.
"A few times. It's so different than with Heather. It's real. When you really love someone… Shit, it's amazing." I park the car when we get to the 7Eleven, turning to look at Tunny.
"You're like a completely different person. Don't take that the wrong way. You just seem a lot happier." Tunny comments as he reaches to unbuckle his seatbelt.
"I am." We're silent for a moment, and just as I'm about to get out, Tunny stops me.
"I think I'm going to propose to Jillian." He says quickly. "I can't really afford the big ring or anything right now, but I was thinking I'd buy a plastic one from those little machines for her until I can."
"That's great, man. I really think she'll like that." I say seriously, and then I get out of the car.
Tunny lifts his prosthetic leg out first, and then follows with the real one, hoisting himself up. He closes the door and smiles tiredly at me.
We walk inside, into a mostly empty 7Eleven. I breathe in, taking a second to think of all the memories we had here. Then, I follow Tunny down the aisle towards the beer, and I see a familiar brown-haired head staring down at the floor, mop in hand.
"Shit," I say, and Johnny quickly looks up at me.
"Mother fucker," He grins, making his way towards me. "I didn't know you were back already."
"We just got here today. I was going to call you sometime tomorrow to meet up." I respond, leaning against one of the clear fridges.
"We? That girl from the city came?" Johnny asks, leaning his mop against some shelves. I nod quickly. "That's fucking awesome. I can't wait to meet her."
"I think you'll like her." I say, looking between my friends. "She's really cool. Her name's Krystina."
Johnny looks confused for a second, but then he shrugs.
"Dude, that's cool. I'm just glad you're happy."
"Wouldn't it be funny if she was the girl Johnny dated last year?" Tunny says with a smile.
I laugh, shoving him slightly.
"What are the odds that would happen? That's, like, a one in a million chance." I say, still laughing slightly.
"Nah, this girl was crazy. I mean, totally psychotic. I just hung around because she was hot, but in the end I had to go. Then she wrote me this fucking letter about how she never even liked me. It was pathetic." Johnny says nervously, picking up the mop again. "Will wouldn't go for someone like that."
"Did you ever remember her name?" Tunny asks.
"I really just fucking can't. I was high basically all the time, and it wasn't mostly just about sex with us. I don't know if she ever even told me her name."
"Well, Krystina isn't like that at all. She's perfect. We could meet up sometime tomorrow?" I offer.
"Yeah, come over here sometime in the morning. I should be hanging out." Johnny says as he begins to mop the floor.
"Okay, we'll see you then." I respond, moving further down the aisle.
I can't wait for everything.
That night, Krystina and I are laying on the pull out mattress in the living room together, Elton in a small basket-crib thing close to it.
For a while, we're silent, and it's amazing to listen to the two of them breathing in rhythm. The two things I love most about my life, quietly telling me they're still here, and not going anywhere. I hold Krystina against me, and she lays her chin on my shoulder.
"I was with this guy last year." She starts, and I hug her even tighter. "And I liked him a lot. I think… I might have even loved him a little bit."
"I understand." I say, tracing shapes on her lower back.
"He never told me how he really felt about me. I knew he liked me a lot, but he wouldn't say much else. And I remember thinking to myself that that was it. That I'd found that person you spend your whole life looking for." She gently strokes my hair. "But he was an asshole. He did a lot of drugs. Pretty much anything he could get his hands on. And at first it was fun. But then he got scary. He tried to kill himself right in front of me…" Krystina exhales slowly, her voice cracking. "I tried to stay, but I couldn't. I was so scared. I left him, and I haven't really heard from him since. There was this letter he wrote but I ripped it up. I tried to forget what it said."
"He was an idiot." I say softly, rubbing her back. "And I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I remember when Heather left me, I was really depressed and I couldn't stop drinking and sitting on my ass. I felt like I had lost everyone."
"Did you see someone about it?" She asked, pulling away to look at me.
"No, but you saved me, Krystina. I don't feel it anymore." I whisper and she frowns.
"I'm glad that I make you happy, but I can't be the only thing that's making you better."
"Okay, I understand." I lie, holding her against me.
Because she's the only thing in the whole world that could ever make me better.
The next morning, after we've dropped Elton off with Heather and Alex, the four of us drive to the 7Eleven to meet up with Johnny.
"He's one of my best friends. I bet you'll like him." I tell Krystina, laying my hand on her thigh.
"Jillian still kind of doesn't." Tunny chimes in, playing with her fingers.
"The first thing he did when we got here is try to attack you. I mean, I get he was pissed at you but that really freaked me out." Jillian says, frowning. "But I do like him."
"He is kind of a dick," I agree, laying my head on Krystina's shoulder. "But that's why we like him."
"Okay, we're here." Jillian says as she parks the car. "But we're not spending more than an hour here. It can get kind of boring, and there's other shit we can do."
We all pile out of the car. I see Johnny standing outside the door, smoking a cigarette. I point him out to Krystina, and her face falls, turning pale.
"What did you say his name was again?" She mumbles, gripping onto my arm.
"I didn't. That's Johnny-" I start, but he's already met her gaze.
I don't understand what's happening, but they both look like they've just seen a damn ghost.
"Fuck." He says, loud enough for all of us to hear. "It's her."