Title: Masks
Summery: Is she Itachi? Is she Emiko? Is she Julia? Her masks keep appearing, her masks keep slipping. Her role keeps changing. Who is she? Sequel to ATWAS
"Out damned spot, out I say!"- Lady Macbeth, William Shakespeare, Macbeth
Act Two
He doesn't look like he did in the anime, she mused as she faced her brother. His hair is longer, and held back by her ribbon- the one she gave him so long ago. He wears her old hoddie, the one she brought back bloody to claim that Emiko was dead- which she was.
"ITACHI!" he growls, throwing himself at her. But he is to slow, much to slow, as she moves, slamming her knee into his stomach, and throwing him against the wall. She looks into his eyes, and simply smiles.
"Foolish little brother."
-0-
They fail, and she doesn't care.
She wonders, as she sits beside Kisame. If she's Itachi… is she Emiko? What about Julia? Who is Julia anymore? A silly woman, wanting to be an actress? A woman torn and hurt because of the roles she plays? A woman far to old now?
Who is she? Who is Julia?
Was there ever a Julia? Or was Julia a fantasy? Who?
-0-
Sasori and her often spent time around each other, as the blind fits become more and more frequent. She admits, to herself, she looks at him like a fatherish figure. Or an Uncle.
She won't talk about it more than that.
-0-
She doesn't cry when Sasuke defects. She can't muster the urge. She just feels disappointed.
They run into one of the Oto teams one day, and she sends a message back, a taunt,
"Emiko would be so disappointed." She later hears that Sasuke had gone and killed the messenger.
She hates herself a little more with that.
-0-
Deidara tries to kill her when she's blind only once. Kakuzu is the one who beats the crap out of him.
"It's not worth killing him when he can't see." He snaps, annoyed at the younger boy. She simply smiles a bit at that.
-0-
Who was Julia? Was Julia her? Was Julia just a dream? Is this just a dream?
What is real? Is she real? Are her brothers real?
What is reality? What is it but a sense of the mind? Is she real?
-0-
She has nightmares about the massacre. She sometimes wakes up, and thinks she's covered in blood.
Lady Macbeth rings in her mind, as she sits on her bed, staring at the wall.
"Out damned spot." She says softly, staring at the wall. "Out I say." She says, as she rubs her hands together.
-0-
Kisame is without a doubt the best friend she could ever have. Hence why she stays with him when he has his own nightmares, and hence why she trusts him with her care when blind.
Working alongside Sasori is too weird for words, as Kisame lies in the medical unit, to hurt to risk going out. She noticed a man about to stab him in his heart, and she intercepts.
She goes blind a day after the battle, still with Sasori. He helps her through it. When she coughs up blood, he yanks off her shirt, only slightly shocked at her chest. He simply makes sure to heal her as efficiently as possible.
-0-
"So you're on medication that's not for the mind? How on earth did he miss that?"
"Bite me Kisame."
"Ooh, kinky. Didn't know you liked big blue guys."
"Oh, don't you know? I adore them."
-0-
Julia was an actress.
Emiko was a ninja.
Itachi is a criminal.
Who is she? Which soul is hers? What name is hers?
Sometimes she considers letting herself die, not catching the kunai, not dodging the attack, but she continues on because she knows her brother would have wanted her to.
She just wishes she knew who she was
-0-
Blood covers her hands, and she can't get it off. She can't breathe, she can't speak.
"GET IT OFF!' she screams, her voice already going hoarse. "GET THE BLOOD OFF!"
"Itachi!"
"Dipshit!"
"WAKE UP!"
"ITACHI!" she wakes up covered in sweat, unable to breath. Kisame, Hidan and Sasori are staring at her.
"The blood won't go away." She whispered. "It won't leave my hands."
-0-
Zetsu sits with her, as she stares ahead, blind once more.
"You're a girl." His light side says.
"I wonder why you've been hiding it."
"I promised my brother. How did you guess?" she asks the pant man. He shrugs.
"We have a good sense of smell." Zetsu says, shrugging. He is… an oddity to her. She thinks of him as a he, a single entity, but is he really? He seems to have two minds in one body, does he have multiple personalities? "Well, that's a fucked up way of repaying him for what happened. Letting yourself be thought of as him."
"Itachi wanted it this way. I respect his decisions." She looks away.
"Your mind is slowly breaking," observes Zetsu, watching her. "How long till it breaks?"
"I think that's my business, don't you agree?" she asks, before she leaves, using the wall to navigate. She really doesn't want to be psychologically analyzed.
An hour later, she's forced to sit back down with Zetsu, who is analyzing her. Damn it, she did not sign up for this.
"I agree with her, this is stupid as fuck. Shush, we were asked, and we agreed to do it."
She really shouldn't, but she kind of wants to fuck with them, just a bit.
"I was an actress killed by a car- a horseless carriage. I was reborn in a fucking manga written by a man named Kishimoto, and to protect myself I retreated into my mind, and created the face of Emiko. However, it ended up that my mind began to break, and I realized that my façade wasn't a façade anymore.
I sometimes get confused if I'm Emiko, or if I'm Julia. Or am I Itachi? I have no idea who I am because I keep putting masks on, and I have nightmares about the massacre, and dream about the blood, and I keep thinking about this play called Macbeth, and the main female character commits a murder, and she keeps seeing blood on her hands. So, I'm wondering, am I sane, at all? Or am I so fucked up that I can't tell a circle from a line?"
"…Holy shit, you are batshit. Shut up, you're not supposed to say it like that-"
-0-
"…Meds?" Kisame asks, staring at the bottle. She shrugs, as she downs her other medication, the ones for her lungs. "You're seriously on medication? For your brain?"
"Laugh it up." She says, waving a hand. It actually helped a bit, ranting at Zetsu, and honestly, the medication helped to, a bit. Calmed her down and made her think more clearly.
"This isn't funny! It's one thing to laugh at your physical illness, because you just shrug it off and act like it's nothing! But this?! This is serious." He actually looks worried, shocking her a bit. "I remember hearing you scream at night half the time! But…"
"Hey, Kisame!" she knocks him gently in the shoulder. "I'm fine. These pills are just to help me sleep," she holds up one bottle, medication made by Zetsu himself that was guaranteed to not let any dreams happen (she has no idea if she wants to know anything about it), "This is for my minor depression, and this is for…" Them thinking I'm seeing things. "Schizophrenia." Silence reigned, before Kisame snatched up the bottles, and reads the labels.
"I'll remember to give them to you on a regular basis, like I do with your other pills."
"Oi! I'm seventeen! I can take care of myself."
"You didn't take your pills for a week, and Sasori tore you a new one when you collapsed and coughed up blood for an hour."
"…You're an ass."
"I know. Now come on, lets go get some pocky."
"…Really?"
"Yes."
"I take back every nasty thing I have ever said about you."
-0-
"Oh, Uchiha!" She looks up from her book to see Deidara right in her face. "I hear you're on pills, un."
"Your point?" she asks, turning a page in her book. Deidara doesn't answer instead he sits next to her.
"They put me on some to, un." Complete silence reigned.
"Really? Isn't pyromania a good thing for you?"
"It's not for pyromania, un." Deidara says, waving a hand lazily, the tongue hanging out. "It's for a chemical imbalance, un."
"Huh." Silence stayed between the two, for once Deidara not trying to blow her up when the two were alone.
It was rather… nice, really.
-0-
They sit at the meeting, waiting for anything. She's been blind for a day, but she's currently able to see, as she plays shogi against Sasori as Pein goes on and on about this and that.
She chokes on her own blood a minute later, and doubles up as it spews out of her mouth.
They panic, as they see the second youngest of their organization choke. Hidan jumps up, swearing as Sasori yanks off the cloak. Kakuzu is moving, Deidara is as well. Kisame is swearing as Zetsu, Konan and Pein all start, then stop.
Sasori removed the bindings, knowing all they were doing was restricting her breath. He needed to get her breathing again, even if it meant they knew.
They all stared at the girl as she coughed and coughed, before she looked up, resigned.
"Surprise?"
-0-
The medication makes things clear, but she still wonders…
Julia, Emiko, Itachi? She's played all those parts and danced to those tunes…
But who is she? Is she the actress, the follower, the murderer?
Who is she?
-0-
Her gender was out in the open, and the reason why, though not the truth about the massacre. That she keeps close.
No one knows how to act anymore until she beheads Hidan for stealing her pocky.
Then they knew it was still her.
-0-
Deidara wasn't sure how to act around Itachi- Emiko. She was crazy, he knew that. She didn't talk about it, but she still woke up from nightmares. Everyone knew that.
He has spent so much time hating him- her, then learning h-she was crazy… he couldn't do it anymore. Hating someone sane was alright, but sometimes he wondered if he-she dammit!- was all there at the best of times. Learning about her delusions just made it more obvious.
He was still confused about how to act around her when her real gender was revealed… then he decided he didn't care anymore and just acted like normal.
Minus the whole 'blow her up!' part.
-0-
Who is she? Julia… Emiko… Itachi…
So many masks for her, but which one is who she really is?
So, yeah... filler for the time skip.
Yes, Emiko is fucked up. She and Kisame have a bromance, and she and Deidara get along because both are on medication.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
Review please!