Speedwriting Prompts 5

Thanks to Exactlywhat for betaing!

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Communal Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers.

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Title: Repetition

Continuity: G1

Prompt 1: Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein

"I don't get it!" Ratchet raged. "I tell them time and time again, and they still do it! I beat their helms; they still do it! Optimus reprimands them, Prowl disciplines, them, and they still do it every chance that they get!"

Sparkplug's voice broke in on Ratchet's righteous rant. "Have you ever tried anything different? Something outside of the norm?"

Surprised into stopping, the medic considered for a moment then somewhat-sheepishly answered, "Not since they first started, no."

The human shrugged and made his way to the table's built-in stairs. "Maybe you should. A wise man once said, 'Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.' So far, I have had no reason to disbelieve him."

Thoughtfully, Ratchet queried, "Who was he?"

"Albert Einstein, undoubtedly one of the most brilliant men in our whole history."

After Sparkplug left, Ratchet turned his considerable intellect to plotting and planning.

Those who had so long defied him were screwed.

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Title: Pincushion

Continuity: G1

Prompt 2: Fluff

Carefully speeding just over the limit, Bluestreak sucked in an invent and only succeeded in staying fully on the road due to his long experience with hardships.

"Ow, ow, ow, you rotten little slagger!" he hissed through his speakers. "When Ratchet finally pries you out, I'm going to enjoy it for more than one reason!"

Eventually reaching the Ark, he obviously didn't bother transforming and ignored all hails aimed his way. Suddenly bursting into the Med-Bay, he startled Ratchet from where he was examining Mirage on a berth. Judging by the interrupted scene, it appeared that the spy was simply undergoing a checkup.

"Ratchet," Bluestreak began without preamble, "I have a bit of a problem. It isn't life-threatening, but it is really irritating. I was driving around, and had to stop in a subdivision. Unfortunately, a little pest crawled in while my door was open. I only had it open for a second, just because the breeze was so nice, and – Ow!" His speech abruptly cut off, a whine following it. "Please get it out?"

With a put-upon sigh, Ratchet gestured towards the venter of the room. "Of course, Bluestreak. Next time, just open the ruddy window instead of the door, alright?"

"No problem, Ratchet. I don't think I'll be forgetting that anytime soon." Sunk down on his wheels, the Datsun rolled to the indicated area.

"By the way," Ratchet asked curiously, "what is it, anyway?"

"I haven't a single, slagging clue," came the grumpy response.

Shooting an amused look at the irritated sniper, Ratchet knelt down and peered in through the doors. "Well," he stated after a minute, "it's definitely organic, but I am not sure as too what it is. I've never seen it before, and honestly, it just looks like a ball of fluff with eyes that moves."

Petulantly, Bluestreak added, "You forgot to mention claws."

"I can't see those." Diagnosis finished, Ratchet began the arduous task of trying to pry the thing from the Datsun's interior.

Five minutes later, all he had to show for his efforts was his own bad temper, a constantly-whimpering Bluestreak, and an odd, low growl from the miniscule pile of fluff.

"Ratchet," Mirage broke in unexpectedly, "could I please try?"

Glaring, Ratchet nodded shortly. "Sure, but good luck. You'll need it."

"Thank you." Bending both of his knees, the former aristocrat extended one finger towards the fluff and… Is he cooing? Ratchet realized in shock.

Cooing it was. "Come here, precious. Come to Mirage. A beautiful thing such as yourself shouldn't be locked up in a car that hates you. It should be out in the open, where everyone can tell it how wonderful it is, how amazing and pretty and beautiful and absolutely adorable. Come on, sweet thing."

Thankful for the cameras, Ratchet watched and listened in sheer disbelief as the growl changed to a high-pitched rumble, and the fluff flounced towards the edge of Bluestreak's seat. Delicately, Mirage plucked it up by the scruff and cradled it against his chassis.

"Ratchet?" the spy asked earnestly. "Do you know how to examine and treat cats?"

Shaking himself from his daze, Ratchet jerked his head to the side. "No. Not at all."

Bluestreak transformed and gaped at the noble and his fluff. "Mirage? What is that? How did you know that would work? How you got it out, that is. Have you ever done that before? Oh, thank you so much for getting the thing out. How did one little thing hurt so ba-"

"Bluestreak!" Mirage finally broke in. "You need to let me answer. All right, this is a kitten. I think it's only a few weeks old; about seven, if I'm right. Yes, I have done something similar before, though not on Earth. As to how I knew it would work, I was talking with Sparkplug one day, and he was complaining about this cursed cat. Apparently, they never listen to him. I researched them, and found that they are quite common, and there are many different variants, or breeds, of them. In case you're curious, I believe that this one is a Himalayan. Also, they are stuck-up snobs. Consequently, the only way to properly interact with them is to treat them as the" he quickly raised the kit to optic-level before lowering it again, "queens they are."

Dryly, Ratchet inquired, "Am I to take it that you like felines?"

Mirage nodded. "Oh, yes. They are probably the most interesting and my favorite thing on this planet." Stroking the kitten, the spy turned to his door-winged companion. "Bluestreak, do you have any idea where Prowl is?"

Said door-wings flicking in surprise. "I think he's in his office. Why? You almost never have anything to do with Prowl. Does it-"

"I want to know where he is," the noble broke in smoothly, "because he'll probably be my biggest obstacle and I wish to have this settled as soon as possible." Dread pooled in Ratchet's energon lines as Mirage complacently finished, "I want to adopt."

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Title: Calamity Jets

Continuity: G1

Prompt 3: Rendered speechless

Prowl stared at the scene before him.

Prowl stared at the scene before him.

Prowl stared at the scene before him some more.

In return, the Aerialbots gazed up at him in horror from where they lay among the wreckage.

Walking up to the standoff, Bluestreak snickered. "Think of it this way," he cheerfully told the younger bots. "If you render them speechless, they'll be too busy staring to actually give you a lecture or punishment."

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Title: Gangway!

Continuity: G1

Prompt 4: "Was that… a dragon?"

::Gangway! Everybody get to the side of the corridors now!::

Receiving Wheeljack's panicked communication, Hound and Mirage exchanged wide-opticked stared before diving to the walls.

And not a second too soon: a flying, metallic creature gliding through the significantly-larger-than-Skyfire-sized halls. From what little Mirage spotted, the oddly familiar creature was red and grey, with head crests, fangs, and the most beautiful, graceful wings than he had ever seen.

Behind the flier came a cacophony of noise, colour, and other beings.

"Grimlock! You all go catch him!"

"Wheeljack, when this calms down, I am going to murder you!"

"You Puddles, move faster and keep up!"

"Hey, this is not my fault! Uh-oh. Incoming! He's gonna blow!"

Cowering against the wall, Mirage and Hound watched in disbelief as the flier released a plume of fire over its left wing and continued on its merry way.

After hauling themselves up from where they had thrown themselves, the whole ensemble began their chase anew. Just before running out of hearing range, the two bystanders heard Ratchet bellow in answer, "It is always your fault!"

As the deluge of sounds faded away, the two Autobots simply faced each other.

"Was that… a dragon?" Hound asked softly.

Nodding his head, Mirage finally remembered from where he had recognized the flier. "It appeared so. And unless I am totally wrong, it looks like we have a seventh Dinobot."

Hound reset his optics as that info processed, them lowered his face to his servo with a groan. Voice muffled, he asked, "So. You think Prime knows?"

Mirage winced. "I should hope so, especially since Ratchet does, but just in case…" Swiftly, he opened a comm channel.

::Prime? We might have a situation.::

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Title: Binary

Continuity: Bayverse

Prompt 5: This Picture (Power-suit on alien planet)

"Ironhide!" Annabelle bellowed form her second-story window. "C'm'here. I wanna show you something."

In reply, the truck drove over and transformed into her favorite black behemoth. "What?"

Angling her laptop towards the widow, she showed him a picture of an alien landscape similar to Mars. Red dust tinged the sky, but through it, a power-suited figure stared at the stars, both specks of light and the large orange one with its small blue companion at 10 o'clock. "If you ignore the kinda cool, kinda camouflaged power suit, have you ever seen something like this in real life?"

Peering at the offered picture, Ironhide eventually nodded. "Something similar, yes. It just was not quite so stylized."

Immediately, she focused her best, perfected Bambi-eyes on him. "Tell me about it?"

A most-certainly-not-rusty chuckled first answered her before he added, "Sure, Annabelle," and proceeded to tell her all about it.

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Title: Quote War

Continuity: G1

Prompt 6: "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." - Dr. Seuss.

Sunstreaker carefully stared his opponent down. The opponent was not one of his usual ones; but then, most fights were fought with fist and physical weaponry. No, this was not one of his usual battles.

Finally finishing his preparation, Sunstreaker smirked, opened his mouth, and

"'Imagination is more important than knowledge.' Albert Einstein."

Carly glared up at him, a similar smirk on her face. "'Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear, but forgetting where you heard it.' Anonymous."

"'When we remember that we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.' Mark Twain."

Carly upped her smirk. "'Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.' Timothy Leary."

"'Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.' Anonymous.'

"'Show me a young Conservative, and I'll show you someone with ho heart. Show me an old Liberal, and I'll show you someone with no brains.' Winston Churchill."

"'I know you were talking, but I can honestly say I have no idea what you just said.' Anonymous."

"'Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.' Dr. Seuss."

Bowing extravagantly, Sunstreaker recited, "'If only I had a little humility, I'd be perfect.' Ted Turner."

"'If someone kills you with your own gun, they better have to beat you to death with it because at that point, it should be empty.'"

"Exactly!" Sunstreaker cheered, before freezing and dropping his face into his palm with a groan.

Carly laughed delightedly. "Hah! You said a word that was not in a quote! I win! Oh, and the last one was by our dear friend Anonymous again."

Standing abruptly, Sunstreaker just jerked his head in the girl's direction. "Fine. You win." Carefully, he held out his hand to her. "Same time here, next week?"

"Wouldn't miss it."

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Author's Notes 2: Here are my details for this week.

#1: I don't know who the victims are. My best bet is The Twins, and possibly for Jet Judo and getting themselves slagged yet again. But I truly don't know.

#2: Isn't it traditional that Bluestreak is the one who wants a kitty? I know I've read that at least twice. Oh, well! My aunt breeds those cats, and I tell you from experience, their claws are razor-sharp (but fortunately, only pierce the first layer of skin) even that young. And the kittens really are literal balls of fluff. They're so cuuuuuute!

#3: I credit this situation to Rick Kirkman and Jerry Scott, from one of their (best) Baby Blues Comic strips.

#4: For those wondering, Puddles is the sixth Dinobot, and he turns into a water dinosaur. I believe he is a comic-only character.

#5: Yes, I made it a little blue star. Bambi Eyes are pretty much the same thing as puppy-dog eyes . As for the camouflage comment, the silhouette just seems to blend into the landscape to me.

#6: Apparently, my modus operandi for writing is "when in doubt, about-face and add crack." I could not think of anything serious for this prompt at all. And yes, I love and collect quotes.