Disclaimer: I do not own American Idiot.
I gently touch Krystina's streak of pink hair, tucking it behind her ear. I kiss the crown of her head, closing my eyes.
"Good morning." She says softly, running her fingers over my bare chest. "Did you sleep well?"
"Yeah," I say, laying my chin on top of her head. "And you?"
She nods slowly, wrapping her arms around my torso.
"It's been four days." She tells me quietly. "I think I can promise you two weeks."
"I'll take it." I whisper, frowning slightly. I'm scared of what will happen to our relationship if she leaves without me.
"And then we can figure out where we're going." She whispers, her voice cracking slightly. "You could always stay with me, Will. I know you have Elton, but you could come back a lot. Shit… Am I really asking you to choose to stay with me over your son? I sound insane…"
"Krystina, I understand. And I want that, I really do. I'm just scared Heather will take him away from me. I should talk to her about it."
"We've been together for a month." She says, burying her head in my chest. "We don't have to rush anything. I shouldn't be asking you to live with me or whatever."
"What?" I ask, eyes wide.
"See? I'm a crazy person!" She rolls onto her back quickly.
"No! I was just surprised. I didn't know if you'd want to keep seeing me after all this shit…"
"I love you. Remember that, okay?" She asks quietly, and I pull her into my arms, kissing her forehead.
"Always." I whisper.
"Tunny's proposing to Jillian tonight, so he wants us out of the apartment for a little while. Probably long enough for them to, you know." I say, laying my head on Krystina's shoulder.
It's later in the evening now, and we've pretty much been sitting around all day. But, I love it.
"That's fine." She says absentmindedly, staring at the TV.
"Heather said we can hang around at her place. Unless you want to stay with Johnny." I say, raising my eyebrows. I have a feeling she's not listening to me. I mostly say it just to get her attention, but she glares up at me immediately.
"Fuck off. I'm fine." She stands up, pulling her hand away from mine.
I sigh, getting to my feet as well. She pushes past me, heading straight for the door.
"…Okay." I frown, following after her.
She opens the door and walks out without holding it for me. I hesitate before going after her. I can be such a fucking idiot. Stupid fucking Johnny.
I obviously need to own up to the fact that I'm not making things much better by mentioning it all the time, but it really bugs me. And I feel like we really need to talk through it. But it makes Krystina extremely… Pissed off. I guess I can't win there. I should just forget about it. It really shouldn't matter. She hadn't met me yet, and none of us could have known that she and I were meant for each other. I guess I'm mostly just worried that her feelings for him will come back. I would never tell her that, though. I'm not that stupid.
"Hey. Hey." I say when I finally reach Krystina. I pull her against me and gently brush my lips across her temple. "I'm sorry. I'm an idiot. I don't know why I said that, but I shouldn't have. Please forgive me."
She takes a deep breath, letting herself lean into me, but she doesn't wrap her arms around me.
"I already told you that he fucked me up. Just seeing him was scary, Will. Please don't act like there's anything left there. I never even wanted to see him again."
"And you don't have to, Krys. Never again." I promise, pulling her against me.
She mumbles something, then very slowly wraps her arms around me.
"That's better." I say, and I pull her as close as I can.
"So, I'm kind of trying to chill out right now. Get a couple gigs here and there; build up a fan-base." Alex says, leaning back in his chair. "Nothing too serious, you know. It's all about the music, anyway. When it happens, it happens."
I look at Krystina, who's definitely holding back a laugh. She nods, squeezing my hand.
"I figure that all this experience and struggle will really help me grow as an artist, and as a person. Heather always says that she loves to see me happy, and this all really makes me happy. It's not very practical, but I'm making a living. I even have my own family now. I mean, that can make it harder, but I'm not giving up."
"Um… Aren't Heather and Elton kind of Will's family?" Krystina asks, sitting up slightly.
"Well, him too. But I fully consider myself another father to Elton. And being a good father is really important to me."
"I'm glad you had this sudden change of heart with my son." I say sarcastically, but Alex doesn't catch it. He's too wrapped up in talking about himself with someone new.
"I know." He nods, looking at Krystina. "So, if you want an album of mine or anything, I can get you a discount."
Krystina laughs softly, shaking her head.
"I'm sorry. No, that's okay." She says, digging her nails into my hand. I grin widely.
"Well, you should come to one of my shows." Alex continues, unfazed. "I bet you would really like it. Heather said you do something with bands for work?"
"Yeah, I just sort of help them get publicity and stuff." She mumbles, looking down.
"That probably doesn't make you very much money." Alex comments plainly, and I glare at him.
"I have rich parents." Krystina deadpans, playing with my fingers.
"You could help me with that stuff if you wanted. I probably couldn't pay you for it now, but I could get you in on an I-owe-you thing, you know, for when my career really takes off."
"Oh, no." She says, leaning against me. "I'm not staying in Jingletown. Just visiting. I wanted to meet Will's son."
Heather walks into the room, carrying Elton.
"Hey, sweetheart?" Alex starts immediately, turning slightly to look at her. "Can you get me a beer?"
"We're out of beer." Heather says, sitting on a chair at the table.
Alex sighs deeply, looking at her. "That would have been nice to know when I went to the store today."
"I didn't think about it." Heather mutters, gently setting Elton down.
He begins to crawl around the table, making incoherent noises. I grin, watching him closely.
"I can go to the 7Eleven and get some." Krystina offers quickly.
"…I can give you some money for it." Heather says, standing up to go into the kitchen.
"Do you need to borrow my car?" Alex asks, sitting forward slightly.
"Nah, we took Tunny's. He didn't need it." I tell him, not wanting him to get into a rant about how "nice" his car is.
"Here," Heather says, handing Krystina a ten and twenty dollar bill when she gets back.
"We shouldn't be too long." I say as I begin to stand, but Heather quickly ushers me back down.
"No, I need you to stay. I've been watching Elton all day. I need a break. I need to, like, rest my feet and watch The Bachelor."
"…Is that okay?" I ask Krystina, biting my lip.
"It's fine, Will. I should be back soon." She stands up and I stand with her, kissing the crown of her head.
"I love you." I say, slowly letting her move out of my arms.
"God damn it," She replies, grinning from ear to ear. "I love you too."
Ten minutes after Krystina left, Alex went to their bedroom for a nap, leaving Heather and I sitting uncomfortably on their couch, watching our son crawl to his heart's content.
"…Why are you so much better to her than you were to me?" She asks all of the sudden, her voice cracking. She's on the verge of tears. "Why do you love her more?"
"Heather… I'm so sorry. I can't help it or explain it. She's just the one for me." I frown, glancing at her quickly.
"I was so good to you, Will. I did almost everything right." She frowns, wiping at her eyes. "And you treated me like absolute shit. You, like, fucking kiss the ground she walks on. You've known her for a month. That's not fair."
"Heather, I know I was shitty. But it was all for the best. We both found better people, right?" I lean forward, looking her in the eyes.
"…Alex used to be so nice to everyone." Heather whispers, looking away quickly. "I think he's a dick because he hates it here. He hates being stuck in this small town. And I don't think he likes Elton very much, Will. He just… Wants to seem deep."
"So you can see it?" I grin, nudging her slightly. "So kick him out! Kick him to the curb. We would all thank you, Heather, trust me."
I hear her quickly draw in a breath and my smile falls. Heather's really crying, like, sobbing. I frown, wrapping an arm around her.
"Heather, it's okay." I whisper, biting my lip.
"He's the only person who still likes me" She mumbles, closing her eyes.
"That's not true." I say quickly. "Everybody likes you."
"No one else will want to be with me." She lets out a sob, burying her face in my chest.
"I know for a fact that someone will, Heather." I tell her, gently stroking her hair. "Believe me, you do not have to settle."
"Okay." She says after a few minutes.
Krystina doesn't come back. Though she promised it would only be a little while, she doesn't come back. And it really freaks me out.
I call her cell phone a million times with no luck. I finally resort to calling Tunny to see if he's heard anything from her.
"Hey, man, I'm sorry but have you-" I start as soon as he picks up, but he interrupts me.
"She was just here. She packed up all her stuff and had Jillian take her to the bus station." He says, and I frown, sitting down.
"…Why would she do that?" I ask quietly.
"I don't know. She seemed pretty freaked out about something. I didn't ask a lot of questions." He pauses, taking a breath. "I'm really sorry."
"…Did it ruin your night?" I ask, tugging on my hair.
"No, we were just… Holding each other. I haven't asked yet. I'm really freaking out about it." He confesses.
"…Okay." I respond, and then I hang up the phone.
I have no idea what happened.
I can't do anything for the next few days. I can hardly eat and hardly sleep. I can't get out of bed. My heart really fucking hurts.
Krystina left with no explanation. She won't return my calls or my texts. And I don't even know what I did.
I have to try my hardest not to cry about it, even though I know I could. She was everything to me, and now she's gone. Gone. Just like that. The one thing in my life I was doing right, gone. And I might never see her again. How is that fair?
Finally, Jillian makes me get out of bed. She says she can't let me ruin myself again.
I tell her that without Krystina, I'm already ruined.
But, at least I try. I go out for walks and I don't always start freaking out as soon as I start thinking about her. But my God, does it hurt. It's even worse that I don't understand why she had to go.
One day, when I'm walking aimlessly along the sidewalks, I bump into Johnny.
"Hey, man, I'm really sorry about what I did." He says as soon as he sees me. "I don't know what came over me. I was just thinking about how happy I was when I was with her and I-"
"What the hell are you talking about?" I ask.
"Krystina didn't tell you I kissed her?" He frowns, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "She came into the 7Eleven the other night and we started talking and I just couldn't help it. She fucking freaked out and stormed out and shit. I assumed she was going straight to you."
I groan, running my hands through my hair and tugging on it.
"You fucking idiot." I say, closing my eyes. "She just left me that night, without any explanation. I thought I fucking did something wrong… You piece of shit." I spit, tugging harder on my hair. "She was the one thing I wasn't going to mess up. That's not fucking fair."
"I swear I didn't mean for that to happen." Johnny says quickly.
"Just fucking forget it." I say, turning to walk away. "I have to go."
I take a bus to the city as soon as I possibly can, and then I take a cab straight to Krystina's apartment. I really hope she's home, otherwise this somewhat romantic gesture might end up meaning nothing.
I knock on her door quickly, feeling my heart flutter in my chest. Hopefully I can fix this. Otherwise, I don't know how I'm going to live with myself.
After a few moments, she opens it, standing before me in her underwear.
…Will." She says, biting her lip.
I step forward, pressing my mouth to hers. I lay my hands on her cheeks, closing my eyes. I kiss her passionately, desperately, not pulling away until I absolutely have to so that I can breathe.
"I'm so sorry." She says as soon as I've pulled away. Her eyes are watering slightly. "I love you."
"It's okay." I say, pulling her close to me. "Just please don't leave me again."
"I won't." She promises, laying her chin on my shoulder. "But… Can you stay here with me for a while?"