So, I'm apparently incapable of writing small one shots XD This was a prompt from tumblr (my first one, yay!): Dantana: military Santana and she just came home a week or so before and she hasn't taken off her clothes in front of Dani since she's been back (their engaged, been together for 4 years) santana doesn't want to show or tell Dani about her scars. Enjoy :)
"I never thought I'd say this, but it was really nice seeing Rachel and Kurt today. Ugh, I've gone soft," Santana laughed as she followed her fiancé into their apartment.
"Oh please, you know you missed them," Dani grinned. "Being deployed for a year will do that to you." The blonde put down her purse, then walked over to the couch and took a seat, patting the space next to her while looking at Santana.
"You have no idea..." Santana muttered to herself.
"What babe?" The Latina shook her head trying to clear her thoughts. She put on a smile and plopped down on the couch next to Dani.
"I said don't let them know that," she laughed, playing with the ring on Dani's left hand.
"Of course not. I'm not going to be the one to ruin your badass reputation, even though it's complete bullshit," Dani teased, pulling Santana into her.
"Oh shut your cute little face," the brunette smiled, snuggling in closer to Dani.
She had missed this. Yes, she loved the opportunity she had been given to serve her country, but she loved Dani more. Santana had written her letters every chance she got, and even had a couple opportunities to call her on the phone, but nothing could compare to the real thing. Being able to talk to her, to watch her facial expressions, to playfully bicker with her, to cook breakfast with her, to hold her close; there was nothing she wanted more than Dani.
Except to forget some of the things she had seen and done overseas.
But for now, she was just happy to be back where she belonged. A year was a long time to be gone, especially from the one person she loved most, and she wasn't going to let anything ruin her happiness.
The two of them stayed wrapped up in each other on the couch for a while, Santana running her hands along Dani's tattoos. She looked up at Dani and smiled softly.
"Tell me again why you got this one?" she asked. Dani glanced down at the tattoo on her arm that Santana was tracing with her fingers and smiled.
"I got it because I had faith that you would make it back home. That you would make it back to me." Santana traced the word on Dani's right outer forearm with her index finger, staring at it intently. "And I got the birds, twelve birds, one for every month you would be gone."
Santana continued running her fingers along the tattoo as she spoke.
"What would've happened if I didn't come home? You would have this on your body forever. A reminder that someone you promised to spend forever with wasn't around anymore."
"Thank god we don't ever have to find out." Dani brought her hand underneath Santana's chin, lifting her head so she could look into her eyes. "But if you hadn't, it would serve as a reminder to always have faith in whatever it is you believe in. Even if it doesn't end the way you thought it would. If you hadn't come home, it would be my reminder to have faith in other people, to believe in love and what it can do." She wiped away a tear that fell down Santana's cheek. "Because you did come home, it serves it's original purpose; you. I'll always have faith in you, I'll always believe in you. I'll always love you. No matter what happens, I have faith that we can get through anything life throws at us together."
Santana wiped away another tear, then leaned up to capture Dani's lips in a passionate kiss.
"God I love you," she whispered as they parted.
"I love you too. So much," Dani smiled.
The two women spent the remainder of their evening watching TV, cuddled on the couch and enjoying the feeling of simply being together again. Santana dozed off wrapped up in Dani's arms, completely content to spend the night just like that. Dani, however, had other plans.
"Tana," she said as she shook the Latina gently.
"Mmm what?" Santana murmured sleepily.
"Come on, let's go to bed."
"Right now?" the brunette mumbled.
"Yes right now," Dani laughed.
"Mkay." She allowed Dani to pull her up from the couch and lead her towards their bedroom. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, she watched in awe as Dani began undressing herself. Now that was a sight she had sorely missed.
"You gonna go to sleep in that?" Dani asked teasingly, nodding to Santana's jeans and long-sleeved shirt. Santana grinned and shook her head.
"No, but I'm gonna shower first."
"Okay. Don't take too long though, I don't want to fall asleep without you next to me."
Santana made her way over to Dani, who was putting one of Santana's bootcamp shirts on, and kissed her soundly as soon as she pulled it over her head.
"You're so goddamn adorable."
She moved to walk away, but Dani pulled her back and reattached their lips, wrapping her arms around Santana's neck. The brunette pulled her closer, snaking her arms around Dani's waist and holding her tight. Breathing heavily as they pulled apart, Santana rested her head on Dani's.
"Fuck, I missed you baby."
"I missed you too," Dani smiled. She unwrapped herself from around Santana. "Now go take a quick shower, then get your ass back in here. Hop to it!" she laughed.
Santana gave her a cheeky smile as she saluted.
"Yes ma'am!"
Santana walked over to their dresser and picked out a large button up flannel, comfy sweats, and a modest bra and underwear. Taking them into the bathroom with her, she undressed herself and got in the shower. During the ten minutes she was in there, she tried her hardest not to look at her own body. Her once flawless skin was now covered in battle wounds and ugly scars, making her cringe every time she saw them. She hated them, but it was the unfortunate price she paid for serving her country. At least she was home, and in one piece.
After getting out of the shower and drying herself off, she put her clothes on while still in the bathroom. She was still uneasy about getting dressed and undressed around her fiancé. If she couldn't even look at herself, how could she expect Dani to?
Santana walked out of the bathroom to find Dani perched on the bed, waiting for her. She continued to dry her hair with a towel as she walked over to the blonde, smiling at the cute look on her face. Leaning down, the Latina pecked her lips and ran her hands through her own wet hair. Dani shifted so she was kneeling on the bed in front of Santana. Slowly, she reached up and found the first button on Santana's flannel. Santana quickly grabbed her hands, stopping them from finishing their task.
"Dan, what are you doing?" she asked cautiously.
"I just...I wanted to feel you." Santana's mind went into overdrive.
"Oh...um...I...uh..."
"We don't have to do anything," Dani said quickly. "I totally understand if you're not ready for that yet. I just missed the feeling of your skin on mine."
"Dani, I..." Oh boy. She was so not ready to have this conversation.
"Here, let me just-" Dani took off her own shirt. Santana couldn't help but stare at her. She was the most beautiful woman Santana had ever seen. While she was staring, Dani's hands reached up to the first button again. She managed to undo it before Santana caught her hands again. Thankfully for Santana, undoing the first button didn't reveal anything just yet.
"No," was all she said.
"No? Why?" Santana felt her heartbeat quicken.
"Please, just respect that I don't want to."
"I completely respect that you don't want to, and you know I won't force you to do anything that you don't want to, I just want to know why." Dani furrowed her eyebrows, clearly confused.
"It's...complicated."
"Complicated? What is so complicated about letting me feel you? Nothing sexual in any way, shape, or form, I promise. I just want to be close to you."
"And you can't be close to me unless I take my clothes off?" Santana asked, getting a little annoyed.
"No, that's not what I'm saying."
"Then what are you saying?"
"I love being physically close with you and you know that. You've been home for what, over a week? I understand that sex is something you might not be ready for, but I don't understand why I can't hold you, be physically close to you, like I used to. Please, I'm begging you to explain it to me."
Santana shook her head and turned away from Dani, tears stinging at her eyes.
"It's not that simple."
"Then make it simple. Santana, we've been together for four years now, and you were gone for the entirety of this last year. All I want to do is have you as close as I can get you. But since you've been home, you haven't let me touch your skin except for your face and your hands, and I don't understand why." Santana still had her back to Dani, staring at the wall in front of her. "If you don't want me to touch you then I won't, but at least show me the courtesy of telling me why not."
"You don't want to know."
"The hell I don't!" Santana cringed at the anger in Dani's voice. "I spent the last year not knowing. I didn't know if you were coming home in one piece, some days I didn't even know if you would come home at all. I didn't know where you were, I didn't know what you were doing, I didn't know what was happening, I didn't know anything! And now you're back and I still feel like I don't know anything, and I wish I did. I want to know, it's you that doesn't want me to know. And I don't know why for that either," Dani scoffed. Santana knew that Dani had a point, but she refused to give in.
"You really don't want to know what happened over there."
"No, I don't. I want to know what happened to you. You're all I care about."
"I...I can't."
"What can't you do, Santana? What can you possibly not do?!" That's when Santana snapped. She spun around, hot tears flowing down her cheeks.
"I can't bear to see the look on your face when you see me!" Dani's eyes widened, all anger leaving her. "I can't even look at my own body, how are you supposed to be able to look at me? I can't stand the thought of you seeing what happened to me and not being able to look at me the same way."
Dani swallowed the lump in her throat and held back her tears, pulling Santana closer. She held up her left hand, her ring finger right in front of Santana's eyes.
"Do you remember what you told me when you gave me this?" Santana nodded.
"I told you that I promised to always love you, that you were the one for me and nothing would ever change that." Dani smiled softly, wiping away Santana's tears.
"That promise works both ways, Santana. Nothing can ever change the way I feel about you." She lifted her right arm, showing off her tattoo. "Everything together, remember?"
Santana nodded and exhaled a shaky breath. Dani led her gently on to the bed, laying her on her back and sitting over her hips. She cautiously moved her hands up to the second button on Santana's flannel. The Latina's hands once again shot up to stop Dani's.
"Dani, I-"
Dani leaned down and kissed her, putting all of the love she had for the other woman into it. She slowly pulled away, moved her lips to kiss Santana's hands, and sat back up. Santana reluctantly removed her hands from Dani's, moving them to hold the back of Dani's knees.
"I love you Santana," Dani assured her. Santana looked up into her beautiful brown eyes and gave her a small smile.
"I love you too."
With that, Dani began unbuttoning Santana's flannel. She undid the second button, revealing a long, thin scar under Santana's left collarbone. The third button revealed nothing but Santana's breasts. Dani leaned down and kissed the tops of each one, looking up at Santana with a smile.
Her hands reached for the fourth button, and felt Santana tense beneath her. Undoing it, she was met with the top of a thick, sinewy scar on her right side. She undid the next button, showing more of the scar. Dani quickly undid the rest of the buttons and pushed Santana's flannel open. The scar started on her right side, just under her ribcage, and wrapped all the way down and around to just behind her right hip. It scared Dani for sure, but more than anything it made her even more grateful to have Santana home.
"Is...is that all?" she asked. Santana shook her head and sat up, releasing her grip on Dani. Gesturing for Dani to move off of her, she pulled off the flannel completely.
Dani saw a scar near the top of her left shoulder, the front a little roundish then extending out towards her back. Santana gave Dani a second to look at it, then flipped herself over to lay on her stomach. She was covered in marks from the middle to the bottom of her back. Dani slowly and carefully traced her fingers over Santana's back, causing the brunette to shudder.
"There's one more," Santana murmured. She turned back around and hooked her thumbs in the waistband of her sweats. Dani gently placed her hands over Santana's and moved them to the side. Carefully, she pulled the sweats down, pausing to glance at the huge burn on Santana's left thigh before pulling the sweats off completely.
Discarding her own sleep shorts so they were both in just bras and underwear, Dani sat back over Santana's hips, tracing circles on her stomach.
"Santana...how did you get these?" she asked, looking into the brunette's eyes.
"I...I don't know how to..."
"Baby please." Dani leaned down and gave Santana a gentle kiss. "You're going to be my wife. I need to know what happened to you."
Santana nodded. She knew this would happen someday, and she was honestly a little relieved it was happening now instead of later. Before she began, she pulled Dani close and connected their lips again. Sighing as she released her, she carefully pushed the blonde back up. She took hold of Dani's hands and placed them on the thin scar under her collarbone.
"I was working with a group of Iraqi soldiers, taking them on a mission to recover a checkpoint, when one of them turned on me and held a knife to my throat." Dani was running her fingers along the scar, listening intently. "I loosened his grip and got out of the way as much as I could in time for someone to take him out, but he still managed to cut me there before he went down."
Dani swallowed a lump in her throat. She knew being in the military would be dangerous for Santana, but she didn't expect that.
Removing her hands, she kissed the scar, feeling Santana take a deep breath as her lips met the skin. Dani sat back up and waited for Santana to continue. The brunette moved her hands to the thick scar on her stomach.
"This one hurt the most. My team and I went in to take out a group of radical insurgents inside a hotel." Dani traced the thick tissue as Santana continued. "There were so many of them that we got split up, but I just kept doing my job. There were shots being fired from the top floor, so I went up there. I entered the last room and found a sniper. When I stepped in, another insurgent ran out of the closet and came at me with a scimitar. I didn't even know people still used scimitars anymore."
"What's a scimitar?" Dani asked, running her thumb along the scar.
"It's a sword with a thick, curved blade. Anyways, I had to make a decision fast. I shot the sniper first, because he was more of a threat to other people, and by the time I turned to the other one he was already on me. He slashed me right under my gear, but I managed to shoot him before he could get me again."
"You were attacked with a sword?" Santana simply nodded. "Oh baby." Dani put her hand on Santana's left side, rubbing the skin soothingly as she placed gentle kisses from top to bottom of the scar.
Santana sat up and moved Dani off of her, then laid down on her stomach. Dani sat over her butt, moving her hands along Santana's back.
"We were given the task of attending to a boy who was standing in the middle of a street, waving a gun and shouting threats. We carefully approached him, staying pretty far back but slowly getting closer. The translator was talking to him, trying to calm him down, but it only riled him up more. He was only holding a small gun, but we didn't see until it was too late that he was also holding the trigger to a bomb."
"A kid had a bomb on him?"
"Yeah," Santana sighed sadly. "He couldn't have been more than fourteen."
"Oh my god."
"I know. So we didn't see he had the bomb until he had already pulled the detonator out. Since he was deemed a threat to begin with, we were authorized to take him out. Unfortunately, the bomb was also linked to his heart beat. When he pulled out the detonator, I saw a little girl, maybe six years old, walking across the street so I ran over to get her to safety. Just as I reached her they took the kid out, triggering the bomb. I covered her with my body, and was hit with shrapnel everywhere on my lower back."
"You got all these protecting a little girl?" Dani paused her hands to stare at the half of Santana's face she could see, her heart swelling with pride.
"Yeah," Santana shrugged. Dani began kissing all over Santana's back.
"You're a hero," Dani murmured between kisses.
"No I'm not," Santana muttered once Dani finished. The blonde lifted herself up as Santana moved to lay on her back again.
"Yes you are," Dani said firmly. The Latina shook her head and placed Dani's hands on the scar on her shoulder, then the one on her thigh.
"These ones prove I'm not." She moved Dani's hands to he scar on her shoulder. "Some of the guys and I were in the humvee, headed to base. We were chatting, laughing, having a rare bit of fun." Santana's breath caught in her throat, so Dani reached up with one hand to cup her cheek. Santana turned her head to kiss Dani's palm, regaining her composure.
"The guy next to me, Stevens, had become a good friend. We actually, uh, we talked about you a lot," Santana blushed, causing Dani to smile. "That day, he was looking out the window, listening to the guys up front joke around, and I was staring at a picture of you, wanting to just come home and be with you. I guess Stevens saw something out of his window, because the next thing I knew my door was opening and he was pushing me out." Dani stroked Santana's cheek with her thumb, the other hand still tracing the scar on her shoulder.
"I landed fine, just had the wind knocked out of me. When I looked back up to the humvee I saw something flying towards it, then saw the front half of it explode. It flipped over, the back half catching on fire. I ran towards it as fast as I could. By the time I got there, the guys in the front were already dead. I went to the back and saw that Stevens was still alive. I was just about to pull him out when someone on the other side of the humvee shot me in the shoulder and knocked me back..." Tears began streaming down Santana's cheeks as she moved Dani's hand to her thigh, letting her leave the other one on her cheek.
"Whoever it was thought they killed me, and threw a smaller bomb into the back. I struggled to get up but it was too late. The rest of the humvee exploded, killing Stevens and sending shrapnel my way, setting me on fire. I managed to put it out, but not after it had already burned me pretty badly. I was rescued later, but I was the only survivor..." Santana stopped talking, tears streaming down her cheeks.
Dani quickly got off of her and laid down next to her, pulling Santana into her body and holding her close. Santana held onto Dani for dear life, sobbing into her.
"It's not your fault Santana," Dani said quietly, stroking the Latina's hair.
"It's because of him that I got back home to you, and I couldn't save him..." Santana managed to get out through her tears.
"You did everything you could. You nearly got yourself killed trying to save him. That's more than most people would do. I promise you, it is not your fault," Dani tried to assure her. She held Santana as she cried, knowing it was what she needed. As much as she was afraid of what Dani thought of her scars, Dani knew she needed to be held and comforted more than anything. She had been through a lot, and Dani was determined to help her through it.
As Santana's tears slowed, Dani gently pushed her on her back again. Seeing Santana's confused look, she leaned down and kissed the scar on her shoulder, then the burn on her thigh. She laid back down next to Santana, but waited for the brunette to come to her. It took a minute, but Santana snuggled into her, burying her head into the blonde's neck and laying her arm across her stomach.
"You know, it's because of you that I'm alive too," Santana said quietly.
"What did I do?"
"You love me." Dani intertwined her fingers with Santana's and squeezed her hand. "Every time I was in a dangerous situation, which was often, I told myself I needed to make it through alive. For you. When I was held at knifepoint, all I could think about was escaping so I could be one more day closer to coming home." She placed a kiss on Dani's neck.
"When I went into that hotel and found the sniper, I imagined he was aiming at you. When the guy with the sword attacked me, I imagined he was going to go after you next. Everything I did was just one step closer to me getting back to you."
"What about the bomber and the girl?" Dani asked, kissing the top of Santana's head.
"I, um...okay this is going to sound dumb."
"Just tell me babe. Were you protecting a kid me so that you could have grown up me?"
"No," Santana laughed, lightly slapping Dani's arm. "I was imagining...what...what if that was our little girl that needed protecting."
Dani's heart stopped and a huge grin broke out on her face. She looked down at Santana and lifted her head up, bringing their lips together in a bruising kiss.
"That doesn't sound dumb at all," she grinned.
"Really?"
"Not at all. I kind of like the idea of a little us running around. But you know what is dumb..." Dani's tone grew serious.
"What?" Santana asked timidly. Dani's face grew soft.
"That you think I could love you any less because of these." She ran her hand over the scar on Santana's stomach. "All these prove to me is that you are the bravest person I know, and I'm so grateful to have you in my life. I love you so much."
"I love you too," Santana grinned, giving her fiancé one last kiss before settling in against her body.
She knew that no matter what happened in the future, she could make it through anything with the help of the beautiful blonde next to her, and a little something called faith.
Welp…that's that. the ending's kinda bad, but whatevs. I actually had a lot of fun writing this one, so feel free to send in more prompts and stuff.
Please review, let me know what you think
Stay golden, lovelies :)