8: we found love in a hopeless place

It was close to 6:00 AM when Rick, Gareth, and their respective groups left Terminus and were headed for Washington, DC. Everyone was on edge, as no one trusted the other, but Rick and his people were just relieved to be outside of Gareth's territory. They had ample food and water, and even a good bit of ammo, which was a pretty good start. They just needed to find vehicles.

Carl and Michonne stayed close to Rick up front, while Daryl and Abraham kept watch from the rear, a keen eye always on Gareth and his group amongst them.

"Dad, where are we gonna find enough cars for all… twenty of us?" Carl had thought about this all night and couldn't come up with anything that seemed plausible.

Carl had no idea of Rick's plan to eliminate Gareth and his group before they hit the road, but the truth was, he wasn't sure where he'd find cars for even the eleven of them. "I don't know, son. I'm hopin' the closer we get to Atlanta, the more cars'll be available."

"We're going back to Atlanta?"

"Not to it, but we're gonna have to head in that direction to get to DC."

"Sounds dangerous," Michonne noted cautiously, instinctively tightening the grip she had on her katana. The last time she was in Atlanta, her whole life fell apart. She had been avoiding the city since, and just didn't want to take that chance again. "There's no way around it?"

"Depends on how quickly we find cars," Rick shrugged, looking back at her. He noticed the unease on her face and discreetly grabbed her free hand to hold. "We'll be okay," he promised.

She offered him a soft smile, glad that he felt confident in that. "Okay."

"Dad, how far is it from here to DC?"

"Well, it's a little over six hundred miles," he remembered from a drive he took there several years prior. "Back in the day, that meant a nine or ten hour drive. But now…"

"It's gonna be a while," Carl knew.

"Hey!" a voice towards the back of the troop called out.

Rick recognized it as Daryl's and stopped walking immediately, turning to see what was wrong. "Everything all right?"

"Just hold up a minute," he called back, maneuvering his way towards the front of the group. He approached Rick with a bloody trench knife in his hand, and a frown on his face. "We gotta stop."

Rick looked at him, confused. They had just gotten started. "What the hell for?"

"This here is Carol's knife." He knew because he'd given it to her, had even scratched her initials into the hilt. He would've recognized it anywhere. "She gotta be close."

Rick only squinted at the information. He wasn't sure what to say.

"I ain't leavin' this state without lookin' for her," he answered Rick's unasked question.

"Daryl, we're not splittin' up."

"Y'all can stop if you want to, but I can't abandon her again." He looked Rick in the eye, knowing his words would sting him a bit. They'd been through too much for him to harp on the fact that he'd banished Carol, but that didn't mean he'd forgotten about it.

"We haven't been on the road an hour. You can't really expect me to tell them we're stoppin'."

"Like I said," Daryl backed away as he stuffed the knife into his back pocket, "y'all can do what you want, but I gotta look for her. She was probably tryin' to find her way to Terminus."

"Ah, fuck," Rick sighed heavily. He wasn't willing to split them up, so that meant they were about to embark on a search for Carol. As much as he trusted Daryl, he hated that he was detouring their journey based solely on his hunch that this was her knife. "You better be right about this," he moved in close to Daryl to warn him. "The more time we're on the road with these Terminus people, the more danger we're in."

Daryl nodded. "I wouldn't do this if I didn't know it was her."

Rick relented, much to his chagrin, and let their group know what the new plan was. He knew Gareth wanted to protest, but was glad that he thought better of it. He would take the rear now, while Daryl led the group.

Their search went on for hours, as the sun moved toward the middle of the sky and beyond, beating down on the travelers, as well as their energy. His people were still recovering from their time in the train car, so Rick didn't want to push them too hard. And he was getting hungry himself, so he knew Michonne had to be in need of a break.

"Hey, tell Daryl we need to stop and eat," he announced to Glenn, who would pass the information forward. Word came back that there was a church just up ahead and they could possibly stop there for the evening. "God, I hope it's not full of walkers," he sighed. He'd had his fair share of zombie-slaying for the day.

The church had clearly been well kept, they could see as they approached. It was clean, the weeds around it were at a minimum, and even flowers grew near the entrance. It looked almost too pristine to exist in the hell they'd been living in. Daryl, Maggie, and Abraham were preparing to enter first and clear any possible walkers, when the front door swung open. A black man dressed as a priest stepped out, his hands raised in surrender.

"Please," he greeted them tensely. "I have nothing to give you. Just go."

"We're not here to hurt you," Rick announced, stepping towards the center of the group, holstering his gun. "Just lookin' for shelter for the night."

"I wish I could help you," he returned earnestly. "But I can't."

"Seems you've got plenty of space. Even if it's a room, we'll take it."

"You don't understand," he looked over his shoulder as if he was scared of something. "I've got a baby in there, and a mother that will kill you before she allows anyone near her. Your best course of action would be to just go."

Rick immediately admired this mother's resolve, but he couldn't allow that to stop him. "We're not hostile people unless threatened. We won't go anywhere near her or her child," he promised. "My people just need a good night's sleep, somewhere safe, before we get back on the road."

"I really don't have a choice in the matter, sir."

"You a real priest?" Rick asked him pointedly.

"Yes, sir, I am." He held out his right hand and offered it to the man in front of him. "Father Gabriel."

"Well, Father, this is my son," he gestured towards Carl. "And like that lady in there, I'd do anything to protect him. And I think if I could talk to her, she would understand that."

"You don't know this lady," Father Gabriel smiled nervously. "She is a very… determined woman, and-."

He was cut off by the sound of the particular lady's voice. "It's fine." Everyone looked up to the sound, shocked to find Carol coming into view. She had Judith in her arms. "They're fine," she told the clergyman.

Rick stood, speechless, as he watched her retreat from the church. He thought he was seeing things as his eyes locked on his daughter, alive and more than well. He held the bridge of his nose, trying to shake away what had to be a mirage.

But indeed, Carol came straight to him and handed over his very real baby. "She's been looking for you."

He looked at Carol gratefully as he took Judith into his arms, tears blurring his vision before he could even get a good look at her. He couldn't believe it. He had given up hope when she wasn't at Terminus, yet there she was. She was living proof that no matter how bleak things seemed to be, there was always, always something to live for. "Hi, baby girl," he grinned. He cradled her in his arms, staring into her happy blue eyes as his tears dropped over her.

Carl stood in disbelief, as well. He'd had so many dreams about finding Judith safe and sound, he, too, couldn't be sure that this was all real. "It's really her," he marveled with a giant smile adorning his face. He kissed at her tiny foot, never taking his eyes off of her face. "I've missed you."

As they all watched the scene unfold, the relief from everyone was palpable. Not only that Judith was safe and sound, but so was Carol, and she had essentially saved the day. As they all embraced and cried and were able to finally be joyous about something, Tyreese rounded the corner of the church, toting a duffel bag.

"Holy shit," he proclaimed, seeing the huge group in front of him, realizing that his friends had somehow found them.

Sasha ran into her brother's arms while Daryl and Carol had their own quiet embrace, and it seemed that the reunion was in full force. Gareth and his group respectfully stood in the background while Abraham and Rosita kept a close eye on them. Meanwhile, Michonne simply couldn't take her eyes off of Rick and Judith.

"Are you okay?" Carl asked when he saw the tears streaming down her face.

"I'm good," she promised, smiling from ear to ear as she watched Rick kiss his baby girl incessantly. She wasn't sure that this moment would ever come for him, but now that it had, it felt like it was happening to her, too.

"Come here, Carl," Rick called for his son. He glanced over at Michonne, offering her a wink as the three of them walked away from the commotion of all the reuniting, heading towards the quiet of the train tracks.

"It's almost too good to be true," Carl grinned, staring into they eyes of his baby sister. He wondered if she had any clue they'd been separated, like maybe on some subconscious baby level, she had missed him as much as he missed her.

"It is," Rick agreed. He quickly checked her for any bumps or bruises, relieved to find she hadn't been in any pain, besides perhaps her teething. He looked up to the sky, silently thanking God for watching out for her. This was a true miracle.

"I think fate led us to her," Carl decided, seemingly reading his father's mind. "Like, think about all the things that had to happen to lead us here."

Rick smiled thoughtfully at the idea. "You wanna hold her?"

Carl nodded and took her into his arms carefully. She was heavier than he remembered, and that was probably a good thing. "She looks healthy."

"Yeah," Rick nodded himself, taking a seat on the tracks, watching as his son did the same. "She looks happy…"

"Thank God for Carol, huh."

Rick didn't even know what kind of twisted irony had his baby end up in Carol's hands after he expressly stated he didn't trust her, but he was fine with the joke being on him. If it meant his family was safe, God and fate could have at it.

They sat for a moment, just taking in the sound of Judith's gurgling and babbling, so glad to have her back in their lives. It seemed that she had missed them too, as she reached for their faces at every chance she got, smiling as Rick kissed her little fingers or when Carl pretended he was being punched every time she touched his cheek. It felt so good for their family to be complete again.

"Hey, Dad?" Carl looked up from his sister to lock eyes with his father.

"Yeah?"

"How come you didn't have Michonne come with us?"

"Did you want me to?"

"I mean, it just… I guess I'm used to us being together all the time now."

"Well, I guess that's why I wanted us to have this moment alone," Rick offered pensively, staring absently at the ground. "It was the three of us before it was the four of us. And it's okay if it goes back to that every now and then."

"It's the five of us," Carl reminded his dad with a small smile.

"I stand corrected," Rick grinned. Their new baby was about the size of a lemon at the moment, but Carl was right. It was five of them now. That was their family. And they were his responsibility. "I also wanted to say something to you I didn't get a chance to say before we left Terminus."

"I know not to trust Gareth," he assured his dad.

"Not just Gareth and his group. Abraham and Eugene and Tara seem like fine people, and if Glenn trusts them, I'm not gonna make any waves, but listen to me," Rick demanded his son's gaze. "You are not safe, Carl."

Carl looked at him, trying to grasp the gravity of what his father was saying.

"No matter how many people are around, or how clear the area looks – no matter what anyone says, no matter what you think – you are not safe," he told him seriously. "Your sister isn't safe. What we're doing is dangerous, and I don't want you getting careless."

"I haven't been careless since the walker that got Dale," he reminded his father.

"I know you know what you're doing," Rick nodded, "but it only takes a second. One second and it's all over. So you stay alert at all times. Never let your guard down. Never. Promise me."

"I won't, Dad." Carl wasn't scared by much in this world, but his dad's warning had truly rattled him. But he supposed was the purpose. "I promise."

"Good." He stood from the ground, taking Judith so that Carl could stand as well. He squeezed his shoulder as they headed back for the church. "Let's get back before Michonne starts to worry."

Later that night, after Rick had gotten both groups squared away in separate rooms, and Michonne was watching over his kids, he made it a point to find Carol and thank her for what she'd done. He finally learned that Tyreese was who got Judith out of the prison, but Carol had obviously taken her on as her own, and that meant something. Especially after everything he had said and done to her.

He eventually found her in what he presumed to be the priest's office, where she had been sitting at a desk, reading the Bible. "Sorry to interrupt," he greeted her hesitantly. "I was hopin' we could talk for a minute."

She closed her book with a small sigh and looked at him expectantly.

"So… Father Gabriel seems nice," he started awkwardly.

She rolled her eyes immediately. "He's an asshole. Me and Tyreese had to put a gun to his head for him to let us in here."

Well. He didn't expect her to say that. "So… It's just been you two and Judith this whole time?"

Her eyes darted downward at his question. She didn't want to lie about Lizzie and Mika and their tragic ending, but it had been a good day. She just couldn't delve into that at the moment. "You come in here to make small talk?"

He sighed heavily, seeing she wasn't going to make this easy on him. He leaned against the doorframe, staring at her contritely. "I'll never be able to thank you. To repay you for what you did for me."

"Rick, you've saved my life more times than I can count. I'd like to think we're past 'thank you's at this point."

"Are we past apologies too?" he hoped.

"No," she returned emphatically.

"Yeah, I didn't think so," he chuckled lightly. He looked at her for a while, wondering how it came to pass that she, of all people, ended up with his daughter. He wondered where she'd been and how she got to this church. Had she been through even remotely as much as the rest of them had since the fall of the prison? "I'm sorry, Carol."

"You banned me from my home," she declared as if she had just realized the weight of it.

"I know."

"Did I mean nothing to you?" she shook her head in disbelief. "After all we'd been through?"

"I didn't know who you were in that moment, Carol."

"I was doing what I thought was right," she maintained.

"Well so was I."

"You said I wasn't fit to be around your kids, Rick. Do you have any idea how much that hurt? After all the time I spent watching Carl? Taking care of Judith?"

"I said I was sorry," he returned softly. "What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to explain it to me! How do you do that to someone?"

"What if Glenn had gotten sick first?" he fired back almost angrily. "Would you've killed him too? Put a knife in his head without letting Maggie say goodbye?"

"I don't know, maybe I would have."

"And you still don't see anything wrong with that?"

"I do."

Their argument came to a halt as Rick looked at her, stupefied. He really didn't expect her to say that.

"I know what I did was wrong," she confirmed quietly, looking him in the eye. "I feel it. More than you could ever possibly imagine."

Rick didn't know what she meant by that, but he imagined she didn't say those words lightly. "I guess things aren't as black and white as you thought..."

"Everything is a shade of gray," she nodded sadly. She realized she was on the verge of tears as her mind drifted back to everything that happened at that pecan grove. Those girls… God, she was so tired of losing things. People. "Rick, I don't want us to be enemies."

"Listen, you saved my baby's life. Far as I'm concerned, we're square," he promised. "I can't control how you feel about me, or how the others feel about you, but I have your back."

She nodded at him appreciatively. "Back to being the leader, huh."

"Nothin' left to farm," he joked with a small smile.

She offered him a smile back. "Good."

A/N: Not much Richonne in this one, I know, but stay tuned! That's all I'm gonna say. -Ash