The sunshine beamed down bringing everyone outside, the heat scorching as sweat dripped down Cosima's back as Sarah, Felix and Kira wandered around the zoo. The fact it was the hottest day of the year so did not help as they tried to manoeuvre around the hundreds of other people that had the same idea as them. Trying to find a spare picnic table or a large enough space on the grass was nearly impossible but they were desperate for a seat. Felix stretched out his legs tilting his head back soaking up the sunshine; Sarah plonked herself next to him throwing her sticky sweaty hair off her face fusing over Kira making sure she was covered in sun cream. Cosima looked down at her little new family she was officially an auntie and a sister but most importantly she was now fully recovered, well on her way to become a Doctor Niehaus, she had everything that she wanted, well almost. A certain tall French woman never really escaped her mind, sure she put on a brave face every day but at night; those curls, those lips, the feeling of her fingers intertwining were never gone from her mind. Cosima's mind filled with the same questions each night for a year where she is? Has she moved on? Should I? Why didn't she come back for me? Cosima tried to forget about her, she really did she started dating again was with Jay for nearly six months but she Cosima never could fully commit so she broke it off with her, the sex was good but that's about it.

The little group sat on the grass looking at the map of the Zoo seeing when the next Dolphin and Parrot show was going to be, they had some time to spare so Cosima and Kira went to go and get some ice-cream.

"Auntie Cosima, do you think Delphine liked Dolphins?"

Cosima looked straight ahead, confused as no one really mentions Delphine anymore.

"I really don't know, how?"

"Well Delphine is the French for Dolphin, maybe she was named after them"

Cosima laughed looking down at the little girl

"Maybe, I never asked"

Cosima snuggled into the little girl causing Kira to breaking into a small fit of giggles as they approached the ice-cream van standing in the long queue, trying to spy the prices on the little black board on the side of the van.

"You still miss her" Kira said attentively it wasn't a question more of an statement Cosima huffed blowing hot air out of her nose, swinging their hands more abruptly as these questions were starting to irritate an already hot and bothered Cosima.

""Why are you asking me these all these questions Kira? You know she's not coming back!" Cosima practically yelled but it still hurt, pain needs to be felt and she felt it every single day. Kira dropped her hand and looked at her auntie with an expressionless face. Cosima pushed her glasses further back on her nose and wiped the sweat from her forehead, eyes burning as water filled them.

"The puppy followed the explorer the whole way" Kira finished. A single tear fell down Cosima's cheek. Shit mumbled Cosima as Kira ran out of the long lined queue, running down a little hill crowds of tourist and families got shoved out the way as Cosima chased after the small girl yelling for her to stop. Cosima lost her as a pensioners party came onto the same path, she couldn't exactly knock over old people plus her lungs were still pretty scarred, her arms flew to the top of her head as she scanned the people around the perplex glass looking for the sandy blonde curls and the pink sun hat Sarah was going to kill her. Cosima shouted again her heart racing sweat pouring from every inch of her body until she found her sitting on a metal bar, relief washed over Cosima's whole body as she dropped to her knees in front of Kira wrapping her tight in her arms repeating apologies in her ear.

"Excuse me" She felt a little tap on her shoulder and a heavy accent, fucking tourists thought Cosima.

Cosima stood with a vice grip on Kira's hand and smiled at the little girl before turning around.

Everything stopped. White noise filled her ears her chest heaved in and out as the hot air burned her sacred lungs, her heart pulsing making her whole body shake. Cosima's legs buckled beneath her lip quivering and finding a grin as her eyes grew wide, taking her in. The blonde woman hair curled perfectly sat at the end of her shoulders and long pale legs, freckle on top of her nose, two sets of dimples as the woman smiled back at her.

"Delphine" Cosima whispered reaching out a hand towards her face; she mentally kicked herself and dropped it.

"Delphine" Cosima repeated louder waiting for a response from her. The blonde woman started shaking her head and pacing backwards.

"Shite" Sarah grabbed Cosima's hand as the dreadlocked clone walked into the other woman's space

"It's me, Delphine. Cosima. .."

"Sorry... I don't know you" The French woman finally spoke turning walking away from Cosima; she reached her hand and pulled her around to face her again.

"Delphine! You can't leave me again" Cosima screamed becoming more hysterical causing people to watch. A man approached Delphine's side taking Cosima's hand out of Delphine's as they started to converse in French, but Cosima pushed herself in the middle of them placing her hands atop of the taller woman's shoulders.

"Delphine, please remember me, look at me" She pleaded with the French stranger those familiar big bright brown doe eyes searched plunged down deep into her soul but the French man was growing impatient with Cosima and started to drag Delphine away by the elbow, but Delphine kept eye contact with Cosima which made Cosima fight more for her.

"Remember Eskimo Pies, and crazy science and Helium is way funnier than polonium and…"Cosima searched her brain for more memories that she tried so hard to forget taking Delphine's hand making her the blonde stretch between them.

"C'mon Delphine, running with wine bottles, a jogging.." Cosima became more hysterical and distraught as Delphine's tears started to fall but she was still shaking her head "No sorry" tugging out of the dreadlocked clones hand, Sarah rushed to Cosima's side dragging her away pushing her away from Delphine as a circle was forming around the three bodies.

"You promised me" Cosima spat as the French couple walked away Cosima fell into Sarah's arms

"Let's go home" taking her daughters hand and her sisters, giving a head tilt to Felix to follow the couple he nodded in understanding.

The whole car journey was in silence. Sarah dealt with Kira reassuring the child everything was ok and her auntie was ok until Sarah was satisfied with Kira's mood and response she left her in her room drawing.

Cosima hadn't spoken a word. Sarah sat across from her in the arm chair searching to meet Cosima's eyes.

"You knew she was back and you didn't tell me"

Shit. Cosima. Yeah but I didn't know we were going to meet her at the Zoo did I"

"Why does she not remember me?" grinding her teeth her as she spoke

"I don't know"

"STOP LYING TO ME"

"You need to calm down, yeah. Or I can't tell you"

"Tell me"

"Well we tried to get her back; Marion said it was impossible with the knowledge that Delphine knew she was too big of a risk especially after everything. Cosima scoffed. "So Delphine was made to forget, the Dyad, Marion erased you and all of this shite from her memory."

"Why didn't I get to know?"

"Cosima you were recovering from a disease which nearly killed you and I knew you would risk it all for her and I couldn't let you do that. You are my sister and I couldn't lose you"

Cosima placed her hand over the top of her face, trying to absorb the new information as quickly as Sarah was saying it.

"How long have you known she was here?"

"A few days. She turned up at Felix's confused. Cal didn't know who she was and He said that she was confused and started to walk away, anyways Kira spied her and called after her but she ran. Cal lost her, but we wanted to find her again to see if she did remember you but we couldn't find her."

Cosima finally cracked bursting into tears. "I'm so stupid, I've been waiting for her to come back to me and she doesn't even remember me"

"Hey, hey Sarah soothed and rubbed circles around her sisters back.

"She'll come back to you Cos."

"How, I am erased from her mind"

"She went to Felix's yeah, and she was the only one to figure out our clone swap ever. She's smart Cos she will work it out" Sarah supported her sister.

"You think so "leaning into her sister for comfort.

"Yeah how could she forget about you?" Sarah cooed

Sarah?

hmmm yeah?

Please don't lie to me again" Cosima said using an authoritative tone.

Felix burst through the door, throwing himself down on the sofa exhausted and red faced. Cosima sat up from her disturbed nap moving as Sarah moved back into the living room to hear the news from Felix.

"Well" Sarah prompted

"Who is the best brother in the world?" wiggling his eye brows up with a Cheshire cat grin on his face. Delphine Cormier flicking her business card at Cosima is coming to my place tomorrow"

"What" Cosima said snapping the small business card from Felix?

"Yeah, well her new toy boy was quiet impressed when I said I was a model scout and Delphine should come by and get some headshots done, she wasn't having it until he spoke to her in French and then she finally caved."

"This is totally crazy"

"Wait I've not got to the best part yet, he paid me seventy five quid in advance. I've still got it" giving a wink to his foster sister as they high fived each other.

"She's coming?" Cosima asked out loud talking but more to the small card.

"Shit, fuck. She's coming tomorrow what I am going to say? what am I going to do?" Cosima suddenly panicked.

"Be yourself, be the geek monkey that she fell in love with."

Cosima paced around the loft, pulling at her deep red pendulum dress, readjusting her hair in the mirror wrapping the dreadlocks into a tight bun. Reapplying her make-up making sure everything was on point, the first thing she knew to do was apologize but that's all she had planned on, sure she left little pieces of herself around the loft hoping to trigger memories, her red coat, the lab coat making sure Felix had white wine instead of red. These little things probably wouldn't mean anything to Delphine but she had to try.

There was a rattle on the door

"shit, Felix and Cosima said in unison "She's early, this is not part of the plan I'm supposed to out and show up early like your next client" Cosima tried to keep her voice to a whisper but it was more of a shrieking sound.

"Cosima it will be fine, hide and come out when you're ready" Felix rushed to slide the door open.

"Hello" The French guests talked it was mostly the male voice until she heard Felix tell the couple to enter Cosima hid behind the bathroom beads it was just like the first time she showed up at his apartment eyes wide, mouth a gape and then biting down on her lip as her boyfriend kissed her cheek and left."

So Delphine drink? Felix asked already pouring a large glass of white wine.

"Oui. I think I have been here before" Taking a large gulp of the wine as she looked around studying everything.

"Maybe once upon a dream, eh"

"Yes I think so" smiling into her wine glass "This is very good"

"Well it's not every day you have French guests coming over, it's a shame really your boyfriend couldn't stay."

Delphine chuckled sitting herself on the faded leather sofa "Oh non non he is not my boyfriend, he is my cousin"

"Oh is that what the French are calling it, these days" refilling Delphine's wine glass

"Non he is my just cousin. Plus I think he is gay" Delphine laughed drinking more of the white grapes.

"Really" Felix's whole face lit up at the new information

Oui, but I think he has a lover because he always leaves me and comes back with his hair messy and shirt rumpled. I think he is scared that I will judge him, for being gay. but I think everybody is a little gay" Delphine smirk at Felix.

"I'll drink to that" Felix brought the glasses together in a toast.

They chatted easily conversation flowing, Felix was actually enjoy the French woman's company and Cosima lay in the bath, shutting her eyes only to focus on the Delphine's voice. Cosima would smile when she heard the smile in the blonde's voice or when she heard her laughter flow through the loft.

Delphine had been here now an hour two bottles of wine later she was heavily intoxicated.

"You know, you will think I am crazy. I came here the other day I don't even know how I got here." Delphine stared into space voice trailing off "And then I see her" "She knew my name, how did she know my name." Delphine burst into a fit of laughter that pulled Cosima and Felix out of their state of shock. Delphine slapped her face a few times mumbling French curse words as she blamed the wine the atmosphere of the loft was now wiry and dense. Felix sat as Delphine moved forward on the sofa "You must think I am crazy."

"Believe me Delphine; I know crazy and you sure aren't it. Softly smiling to reassure the French women "Since we are confessing of sorts, my sister was kind of the crazy lady yesterday at the zoo"

"I know. I saw her behind the beads when I first arrived"

"Hey" Cosima finally emerged sitting in the arm chair next to the blonde. "I am sorry about yesterday I didn't mean to scare you or anything Cosima's hands flew around her as she explained herself "I thought you were coming back to me but I guess not, since you can't even remember me"

"I am so sorry" Delphine's hand flew out to try and reach Cosima's but the dreadlocked clone pulled back both woman's tears spilling over gazing at each other. Delphine snapped out the staring contest as her cousin knocked at the door to pick her up, Delphine grabbed her jacket from the bar stool wiping her eyes on the sleeve " I would like to see you again, less like this, oui?" "Ditto. Obvs" Cosima replied chuckling through her own tears.

Felix made light conversation with the French man as soon as the door slide shut he wrapped his arms around his sister in a tight grip as she melted to the floor.

Felix tried to arranged another meeting saying there was something wrong with the prints and he needs to do them all again but Delphine's cousin Marc was not happy and was not sending Delphine back there, he was unimpressed with Felix's lack of professionalism as he picked up Delphine intoxicated and in a distressing state. Cosima called the business card but the phone would either ring out or go straight to voice mail, all the euphoria that built up in Cosima was slowly shattering around her with every failed attempted at making contact with Delphine. It had been over four weeks now.

Cosima tried to keep her thoughts on the science and writing on her thesis however watching her phone for any activity was distracting. Cosima tucked her phone under her pillow as tried to fully focus on the white blank document on her screening the little black line flashing, her fingers tracing the keys on her laptop but her fingers would always pull back, Cosima shook her head and threw on her red coat, if Delphine could not find her then she would find Delphine.

The clouds grey, creating shadows all over the streets the air sticky as the humidity was rumbling in the atmosphere. A storm would be coming soon Cosima noted as her feet carried quickly as brain fell asleep letting her gut instinct take control over body. The old crumbling building black and burnt, smashed glass at her feet as ducked under a little hole in the fence keeping civilians away from the damaged Dyad building, the clones heart rate quickened as she knew she could be arrested at any moment her little legs wandered around the to the back of the building seeing where they used to work together clone jail she once called it and she was right, even after all this time it still held her, she left all that time ago but she never really was free. The sky rumbled the clouds becoming darker with heavy spots falling, shit Cosima breathed as she escaped back through the little hole, jogging slightly as she made her way back to her apartment.

"Bloody hell! Where have you been?" Sarah shouted as Cosima made her way up the corridor to her apartment door. Cosima gave Sarah an eye roll as the water dripped down from her drenched coat her shoes squeaking as they were filled with water.

"Out what does it look like" Searching her pocket for her house key approaching her sister who leaned on the wall next to her front door. Cosima pushed the front door open, slamming down her keys kicking her shoes off and draping her coat across her radiator. The door banged shut making Cosima turn around in an aggravated sigh "Look Sarah"

"Delphine?"

"We never got to talk" Delphine replied in barely auditable whisper

"So talk" Keeping a distance between herself and the blonde, she was exhausted this emotional roller-coaster needed to stop even if that meant saying goodbye to Delphine forever.

"I am sorry, I forgot to tell you. I was just on holiday here with my cousin he lives in Montreal; you see he was just showing me around here. Then after I saw you I needed to get something so I flew back to Pairs. I should have told you." Delphine finished watching Cosima's facial expression throughout her story changing and distorting.

Cosima nodded and gestured for Delphine to sit down.

"So what do you wanna talk about Delphine?"

"I was hoping you could tell me…maybe about us?"

"Okay well this hard to explain, why don't you tell me what you know, like the last thing you remember?"

"The last thing I remember is getting into my black car and then I woke up in the hospital. I had been in a car crash and then I was in a coma for two weeks before I woke up. Cosima bobbed along.

"This is what I went back to get, I was hoping you can tell me more" Delphine reached down into her large purple bag pulling out a book the pages fared and bent bulging. Delphine flicked the book open finding the page easily that she wanted to show Cosima. Delphine's small italic delicate handwriting next to it; I can't find these over here, but I must have liked them very much. Cosima chuckled as she read the little caption underneath the crumpled wrappers.

"You mentioned them the day we met at the zoo, did we eat them together?" Delphine's voice was soft in the tense atmosphere Cosima just nodded her head, stroking the wrappers and looking at the next page filled with different shades of red, different patterned fabrics stuck down. That page did not have a caption but Cosima knew it was her, it felt like her, she felt Delphine's gaze on her as she felt the different fabrics and flicked over the page. To find a picture of a hand with the French woman's handwriting around it the clone did not understand most of the French she smiled anyway, the next page filled with shells, flowers, nature, scientific patterns. Cosima subconsciously covered her tattoo.

"I think this is yours, also" Delphine pulled out a patterned scarf "It didn't smell like me but maybe now" Cosima rubbed the material in her fingers bringing it up to her nose, lips curving up at the familiar scent.

"After I saw you that day I knew these belonged to you and I was hoping you could tell me what it all meant. Did we meet at college? Did we part on bad terms that I was back in France?"

Cosima laughed through the sadness finally looking up at Delphine "Yeah you had killer grades. I wouldn't say bad terms I became sick and you got a promotion to Germany actually." Missing out all the Dyad, monitoring business and the clone drama that surrounded them, this was going to be a long night Cosima thought.

"I left you when you were sick?"

"Well you never really left me, did you?" touching the book that was filled with hazy abstract memories.

"I am so sorry" punctuating each word just like the first time Cosima heard it when she apologized

"Don't worry about it." Cosima dismissed her with a hand leaping off the chair "Would you like an Eskimo pie?"

"Oui" As the atmosphere twisted around the pair just like the rumbling of clouds.

The pair watched each other eating the ice-creams the blonde woman hummed in satisfaction at the taste of the chocolate on her taste buds Cosima grinned.

"I think I was addicted to these" Delphine biting the chocolate to get to the soft cool vanilla ice-cream underneath the layer of chocolate. The brunette's grin grew wider

"I found empty wrappers in my jacket pockets and in several in many different purses. Did we eat them after lectures?"

Cosima barked a laugh and shook her head "No we would eat them after making crazy science"

"I studied host parasite relationships-

"Immunology "Cosima finished "Yeah I remember. I study Evo-Devo well I just need to write that and send it away."

"Evolutionary Development" snapping her fingers together

"You've not changed at all." Cosima observed as Delphine broke out to a smile licking the ice-cream running down the lollypop stick on to her fingers, well maybe a little Cosima thought to herself watching the French's woman's tongue flick over the soft white sweet snack.

"Have I not?"

Well not really. I mean you are still stunning, you still have those little habits like right now biting your lip; early you were running your tongue over your teeth. You snapped your fingers the first time you worked out what evo-devo meant. Your hair is still hella"

"I don't think you have changed much. "

"How can you tell?" Cosima's eyes narrowed at the woman's statement.

Delphine shrugged

"Well you are right I guess, I don't smoke anymore though."

"That's what that smell was. " Both girls snickering looking at the scarf between their bodies "Cosima what were we to each other?"

"You loved me and I love…love you" blinking rapidly tiring not look at those eyes as the water that filled her eyes threated to spill over, Cosima jumped up from the chair, putting distance between them, bringing her hand up to her head as she paced over to the window, watching the rain batter down.

"Cos-im-a"

It was the first time Delphine had said her name bringing the tears to fall sobbing lightly as she kept her back to Delphine.

"Cosima. I still love you. I know this sounds foolish I know that I don't remember you or anything from before but I am willing to start again if you are?"

"You want to fall in love with me all over again?" Cosima turning around with tears dripping down her cheeks

"I don't think I ever fell out of love with you" Delphine said pulling Cosima into a warm long embrace.