Mama Ichi

Chapter 7

A/N: I'm back, bitches!

Ichigo ducked under the shinigami's hay-maker swing, eyes wide. He'd been ambushed on the way back from the store, and grocery bags lay forgotten on the pavement.

Shiro would never know what'd happened.

Anger swelled inside him at the thought, and he slammed a clean roundhouse into the man's chest, knocking him back. He staggered away with a wheezing cry, but another appeared around the corner.

"He's over here!"

The shout rang through the streets, and Ichigo felt a pang of fear. Footsteps pounded the ground.

At least none of them are competent enough for flash-step, he thought dryly.

Even so, he couldn't relax.

A blow clipped his shoulder spinning him around, and he cursed loudly. A blade swung down on him suddenly, and he threw his hands up in front of his face, unable to dodge quickly enough.

Clang!

Ichigo's eyes snapped back open as the blade was blocked.

A slim male with jewel-pink eyes and slightly curly black hair stood between he and his assailant. His bangs were died a toxic green that matched the shade of his button-down top(sleeves rolled up) and his skinny jeans were neon pink. He wore plain, black and white converse, and a green and pink tassel swung from the back of his zanpakto. "Now, that's not very nice," he mocked, clucking his tongue. His voice went ice-cold in a split-second. "I suppose I'll just have to punish you."

Blood sprayed the sidewalk as his sword bit through the ribs of the shinigami, and the man crumpled like paper.

Another charged him, but was decapitated almost lazily. Ichigo had to force down a retch as the head and the body hit the ground separately, disgusted.

A long arm wrapped around his waist, and everything blurred. When he regained his senses, he was standing on the porch of a fairly nice apartment. "Sonido," he murmured, recognizing it. "Wha-"

"I recognized you from Shinji-chan's stories," he explained. "You're the baby of the family, so naturally they'd talk about you. I've been keeping an eye out since I heard what happened."

Ichigo's mouth opened and closed for a second in shock.

"Hey, where's your brood?"

Ichigo scowled, regaining his composure. "Who the hell're you?"

"Limbo," the stranger chirruped, grinning creepily. "And you're Ichigo."

Ichigo pinched the bridge of his nose in irritation, but... His instincts said that he could trust the man. It was bizarre as hell, but every fiber of his being screamed, 'family'.

He sighed. If he couldn't trust himself, who could he?

"They're around," he decided, answering the earlier question. "Hiding."

Limbo hummed. "Well, I do have a signature 'Urahara-underground-training-room'," he offered.

"Let's go get them," Ichigo muttered. "Might as well just go with it."

Ichigo bounced Lilynette on one hip, wiping applesauce from Ulquiorra's face with his free hand. Shiro laughed at him, but soon had his own troubles.

Grimmjow seemed to think fighting 'Shi-nii" was the 'greatest thing ever'(not much different from his adult form), but Shiro wasn't fond of being attacked by something Ichigo wouldn't let him kill.

Besides, it was a battle of hit-and-run-with-a-squirt-gun rather than blood-and-blades-and-crazy-ass-captains-with-weird-fashion-sense.

(Ichigo was particularly glad of this- he couldn't imagine having to raise Kenpachi.)

As Shiro tumbled over the back of the couch, Grimmjow trying to rip his throat out with his teeth (which had a large gap where his central incisors would have been if he were older), Ichigo dropped the dirty rag in the laundry basket and helped Ulquiorra climb down from the high chair.

This delightful image of perfected domesticity would not last long- stranger things had yet to come.

Namely, Shinji.

The trapdoor to the training room slammed open with a clang, and the afore-mentioned Vaizard tumbled through the hatch.

Hiyori hurtled after him, sandal in hand, teeth grinding, and Mashiro's giggle could be heard upstairs.

Shiro sonidoed to Ichigo's side, shoving Grimmjow behind him. He tightened his grip on Zangetsu's hilt.

Ichigo stared, stunned, at the clan of hybrids falling out of the sky.

"Ichi-kun!" chirped Mashiro, bouncing past Shiro for a hug. The hollow growled warningly, but it became apparent almost instantly that they weren't going to attack.

Rolling his eyes, Ichigo elbowed past Shiro to get a few more hugs in before his pale counterpart inevitably freaked out.

Shiro sputtered furiously, waving Zangetsu around as he failed to find appropriate words for the situation.

"It's good to see you guys again," Ichigo admitted, leaning into kensei's side a little longer than he normally would have. "How did you find us?"

"Limbo let us know you were living with him now," Lisa barked, dragging him in for a hug that was almost more like an an attack than a form of affection.

(Then again, Lisa's attacks were affection, even if they hurt like hell.)

"Thing's in the Seireitei are looking up," Shinji informed him, immediately getting down to business. "A number of higher ranked shinigami, and more importantly, powerful ones, are in favor of leaving you and the squirts alone."

Stark appeared as if from nowhere, making Hiyori jump and curse.

"Where'd you come from?" she snapped.

Stark ignored her. "Ichigo, Nel and Nnoitra are duking it out again."

Ichigo groaned and shoved Lilynette into the Primera Espada's arms. He pointed to Shinji- "Watch-" he started. Stopping as he realized who he was addressing, he whirled around to point at Kensei. "Watch Shiro and Ulquiorra."

He returned nearly half an hour later, scowling characteristically. Nnoitra muttered angrily as he was put in the corner, and Nel pouted as she was made to sit next to him.

"Continue," he told Shinji.

The blonde pouted, but complied. "Anyway, a lot of people are on your side- you've really shaken Soul Society up."

"Good," Ichigo mumbled. "They need airing out."

Shiro finally found his voice. (In a particularly crude manner, but oh well.)

"What the hell are all you f-freaking," he corrected quickly at Ichigo's spike in spiritual pressure. "-idiots doing here?"

"We came to check up on you guys," Kensei answered, rolling his eyes. "We said that already."

"W-well," stumbled Shiro, before Ichigo cut him off.

"We already discussed this Shiro- what have I told you about listening when people are talking?"

Shiro kicked the ground sheepishly. "I can't help it!" he complained. "He opens his mouth and it sounds like dolphin squeaks!"

Needless to say, the ensuing fight- Shinji vs. Shiro- took most of the night.