A/N: Hi everyone! Thanks for being patient in waiting for an update. We wanted to have more written before we posted this chapter so we don't have to make you wait so long next time. ;) This chapter is brought to you by MayAnderson19!
By the way, we are honoring the timeline of the show, even though election night doesn't occur during the right time of year-so this is a flashback to about three months ago, in April. Enjoy!
Alicia walked into the election party, her mind a mess. She knew she should feel excited and happy for Peter, whatever might happen, but she didn't feel anything of the sort. It was chaos inside of her head. She couldn't stop thinking about Will, about their kiss, and how he had said they needed to talk. Of course they needed to talk after that. She wouldn't- no, couldn't- go and be with Will. It was a bad idea. She knew that and yet she couldn't help but feel so much better when she thought about what it could be like if they were together.
But that wouldn't happen. Alicia knew Peter was going to be the next Governor of Illinois. It was an hour until they would officially find out, but she already knew. And it had nothing to do with the votes that she had been able to admit. Though she knew she should feel happy about that, she couldn't. Her thoughts stayed with Will, and as always, he just wouldn't leave her head.
She smiled half-heartedly to some people in the hotel suite as she entered the party. They were just campaign workers and she didn't have the energy to stop and talk to any of them. She'd already been up all night and only had a couple hours of sleep since. She was exhausted, so she simply walked through all of the people and found her way to one of the bedrooms. She was extremely thankful to find it empty. She meandered toward the bed and placed her bag on the table next to the bathroom door, sat down onto the soft bed with her back straight, and crossed her legs. She was just too tired to try and be the happy and good wife she was expected to be on this particular night. Unfortunately, she was also too tired to block out any unwanted thoughts.
She wanted to forget about the car, and telling Will she didn't know how figure her way out of… whatever it was. It was a never ending cycle of her wanting Will but trying to stay faithful to Peter. It always felt like it would be one or the other and she was constantly stuck in between. The only thing she knew (but couldn't make any sense of) was that she felt something electric when she was near Will. She once felt that with her husband but it wasn't strong now like it was with Will. He caused this reaction inside of her that wouldn't let up and was so intoxicating she thought she could pass out from it at any moment if he got too close to her. That was the feeling that erupted when they kissed, and it was terrifying but felt like the best thing in the world. She knew she had to get away from that; it was dangerous, and she was with Peter.
She stayed in the bedroom the entire time the party was going on and switched on the television five minutes before the announcement by the news. The nerves were crazy in her body and she hated that she hadn't gone out of the room to get a glass of wine, but she couldn't face any of the people. As the newscaster said Peter's name she was happy and proud, and she smiled, for a moment. Then she looked through the open door to see how everybody was celebrating for Peter. They all helped him win, and she wanted to be that excited, but it was too much.
And then she saw Will. It was just the back of his head, but she knew it was him. Of course she knew.
He shook hands with a man and then he turned around to shake hands with another person, and he caught her eye.
See, if Alicia Florrick was in her right mind she'd question why Will Gardner, of all people, would be at Governor Peter Florrick's celebration party. Except she wasn't in her right mind, so she didn't question why.
She stood quickly and smiled warmly to Will as he took a few steps into the room.
"Congratulations, First Lady," he said to her with a smile on his face. Suddenly it felt entirely real once someone called her First Lady. It didn't come as naturally to her as she once thought it would just after Peter announced he was running.
"That sounds… odd." She started to frown, but she shook it off and smiled, for Will.
"I bet." And the awkward atmosphere appeared around them. She could tell he wanted to talk now, even though it was bad timing. It seemed so stupid that the inevitable Bad Timing always followed the two of them. He was right when they were in his car, she realized that now. To hell with the bad timing.
"Let's talk," she blurted out, even before she knew what she was really saying. She watched as Will's face changed to a hopeful sort of confusion.
"Now?" he asked, and she nodded confidently. She was sure she wanted to talk. Wherever it ended up between them, they needed to talk.
"I'll grab my coat and meet you downstairs." Will nodded in agreement and reached a hand up to her arm. He squeezed it softly and dropped it back to his side again before he turned and left. Alicia turned to grab her bag and walked out of the room. She had no idea where Peter was, but she didn't care too much. He'd still be there when she returned to the suite.
She wrapped her scarf around her neck and buttoned up her jacket as she walked out the lobby of the hotel and found herself of the sidewalk. Will stood there looking to the street, watching the few cars pass by.
"Will." She called to him and without hesitation he spun around to look at her. Seeing the hopeful look on his face made her heart sink. She never wanted to hurt him, but she didn't know how she could be with him. It was too complicated and no matter how much she wanted to make it work, it just wouldn't. She had to make Will realize that now because if it wasn't in this moment, it would be never.
"Alicia." He said her name in a way that was only for them, and she despised it now. She didn't want to be pulled into it again. She had to remain strong, so she left a good meter of space between them.
"We can't keep doing this. I'm sorry, but we can't. You know it wouldn't work. Not with the way things are with me." She paused and all she could focus on was the hurt in his eyes. She hated seeing him that way, hated that she made him that way. He closed his eyes and dropped his head, almost in defeat already. "Will, you know it. I have to stay with Peter. He needs me…" His head shot up and the hurt and defeat in his eyes were replaced with anger.
"You don't have to do anything, Alicia!" He started to yell at her and when she tried to protest back he shouted even louder. "That son of a bitch doesn't need you! He cheated on you. He cheated on you and lied about it time and time again. He hurt you and because of that, he doesn't deserve to need you!"
"Stop it, Will! He's different. It's behind us and I'm going to stay with him." Alicia tried to defend herself by yelling back at him.
"He hasn't changed, and a part of you knows that. The part of you that wants to try being with me. You're scared and I understand that but he doesn't need you like I need you!" His words hit her like a ton of bricks. She didn't want to hear any of it because it sounded too true. It was so true, and it hurt her to really hear it.
"You don't know him like I do. I have… an obligation to stay with him now." She tried to reason, but it was useless anyway. She barely had one leg to stand on in this discussion, let alone two.
"An obligation? Is that what you want your marriage to be? An obligation?" Will took a step closer to her and took her hands in his. They were so warm and she didn't want to let go. She was just so tired of it all. Trying to think it through and decide and eventually pick Peter. "He hurt you. You told me how much it hurt, and I could never forget your words." His voice was softer, and that hit her harder than his loud voice. She dropped her head as she started to feel the tears coming through.
"I forgave him…" she said softly, and he let go of one of her hands to cup her cheek and lift her head up. His eyes were forgiving, and she almost got lost in them. It was so easy to sometimes.
"I want you to be happy, Alicia. You aren't as happy as you can be with him. I can make you happy, and I'm sure you know that."
"It'd never work…" she whispered and the tears in her eyes fell as she blinked, and Will wiped them away, his warm hands leaving trails behind on her skin.
"If we try, it will." He looked at her with such care in his eyes, trying to convince her.
"How can you be so sure?"
Will let go of her other hand and held her other cheek, letting his thumbs stroke softly over her cheekbones.
"Because I've been sure of this… ever since Georgetown." He chose that moment to start smiling, and it worked on her because she smiled back. That same feeling of electricity shot through her spine and activated every sense she had. She leaned forward and pressed her lips softly to his. Right now it was enough for her. He had the better argument and she was sure it was because of all his years spent in a courtroom. He made his case, and it had won. She didn't want her marriage to be an obligation, and she never thought it would be until Will had made her realize it. She felt silly for wanting him to realize things she couldn't even think of anymore (because he had his tongue running along her bottom lip to gain access into her mouth and it was the best distraction from her thoughts she had ever encountered), but he was the one to make her realize that she couldn't be stuck in this marriage to Peter. He may need her, but it was only for his political reasons. Otherwise Eli never would have told her. He wouldn't get into something so personal. Peter would be fine without her-at least she hoped so.
She and Will parted ways; he protested slightly but conceded once she told him she had to talk to Peter. So she went back up to the celebration, found Peter, congratulated him, and told him she'd see him the next day.
"I'm just too tired from court last night, and this morning," she said, and he understood.
Alicia woke up early the next morning and got ready for a normal work day. Half an hour before she had to leave there was a knock at her door, and she knew who it was. She let him in and they both went through to the kitchen. She almost reconsidered the decision she made the night before once she saw how happy he was. How proud he was that he'd won the Governorship. She regretted having to tell him, but like Will had said, she didn't want her marriage to him to be an obligation.
So she took in a deep breath and looked Peter in the eyes.
"I want to get a divorce."