And here is the second half.
Let me know what you think. Enjoy!
Ally thought her kids would be more scared to spend a few days with two strangers they'd never met before, but Cameron loved Dez, and Lilly adored Trish. It concerned how just how much her daughter was picking up on the older woman's habits in only a few short hours. So, it felt not as horrible to leave them behind as she pulled some of their things out of the SUV, handing them over to the smiling couple.
"Thank you," she told her with a tight smile. "I'm not sure how this is going to go, but thank you for giving me the chance."
Trish waved her hand. "Nonsense. It's going to be great. Just remember to come back here after. I know it's going to be a lot of emotion seeing him again."
You have no idea, Ally thought, but again smiled. She quickly kissed her kids goodbye, and then piled right back into the SUV to head north toward a relatively small town in Virginia. The GPS that she was borrowing from Trish told her it'd be about a ten hour trip, and she hoped that was accurate. It was about seven am now, and his concert started at eight pm that night. If she wanted to get there before the show, she needed to make good time.
Being alone with her thoughts though was not as nice. She was having flashbacks to her teenage years, before the move to Washington, and the three people she'd left behind. Seeing Trish and Dez had made that aspect calm a bit, but seeing Austin was sending her into overdrive. What if he hated her now? She practically dropped him and never came back. He probably found someone else to write his songs, forgot she even existed. A part of her knew this was a lie, since Dez and Trish had both talked about her absence effecting him so greatly, but her fears still licked at her.
Luckily, it made time go by fast. She'd killed almost seven hours in what felt like only two. She'd crossed through Georgia and both of the Carolinas, hoping to reach Virginia within the hour. At the rate she was going, she would be there in nine hours. And she was doing the speed limit!
A part of her thought back to Bryant and what he'd think of all this. A cold laugh coated her brain. Why would he care? He'd left two years ago without even saying goodbye. One morning she just woke up and all his things were gone. She didn't even get a note. His phone was off, and so was their joined bank account. She literally had nothing but the tiny apartment building, and her SUV to lead the way. It was a rough few months, but she managed to hold her head above water for almost those two years.
The sign that welcomed her to Virginia popped up, and a tense smile graced her face. She was truly about to see Austin in a couple hours. What did he look like now? It was painful to see his face, so she tried to hide from the magazine covers and TV interviews. Last she'd saw him, it had been on a bus in Washington, promoting his new album last year. He still looked like the absolutely gorgeous boy she'd left behind, now just with facial hair and more mature features. Hopefully that had stayed.
By the time she found the venue two hours later, her nerves had doubled and she wondered if it was too late to back out of it. He had to hate her. Why would he even want to see her? She should have at least had Trish warn him, let him know she was coming! He'd slam the door in her face, and she'd be left with just wasted gas and a broken heart.
Another voice broke her thoughts, one that reminded her that she was an idiot. She was here to do this and nothing was going to stop her. She owed him an explanation, and she owed herself the feeling that he would give her when they shared their first moment since they'd been apart. She parked her car, texting Trish that she was there. The girl then texted her back directions to the VIP area, where a security guard was waiting for her. The friendly man helped her get into the venue and kept her out of the eye of fans and other people who were just too nosy for their own good. She quickly freshened up in the venue bathroom, then followed him to where Austin's dressing room was.
"How big is this venue?" she asked the man, studying herself in the mirror that happened to be in the hallway. Time hadn't been the nicest to her, but she didn't look that bad either.
"It holds about ten thousand people when it's at maximum capacity."
"Did he sell it out?"
He shook his head, "Not yet. I think he's at about eight thousand, last I heard."
"That's not too bad," she insisted.
He nodded, "You're correct. Well, his dressing room is just down that hallway. Would you like me to escort you there, or are you good on your own now?"
Ally assured him she could find the rest of the way there, and then walked slowly toward the room that had the rock star's name on it. She stood outside it for nearly a minute, fingers up, ready to knock on the metal frame, but too scared to actually take the plunge. Then, she remembered how sad he'd looked the day she told him she was moving, and knew she had to make things right.
Just as she went to knock, the door opened and everything stopped.
A tall, lean man stood in front of her, with moppy blond hair and a pair of honey colored eyes that she'd missed so much in the decade they'd been apart. Her breathing hitched and she squeezed her eyes shut in shock, trying to remember what he looked like when they were ten years younger. A gentle hand broke her from her thoughts, forcing her eyes back open, and instead of a smile, she got a serious look of contemplation back at her. He was just as shocked as she was.
"Hi," she finally whispered quietly.
He finally opened his mouth, but no words came out.
"Austin!" a voice said. "Your sound check is in five minutes!"
He glanced that direction, then back at her. His throat cleared, and his hands were shoved into his pockets, "Are you real? Or am I in some sort of freak dream?"
"I swear I'm real," she answered quietly.
Before she could apologize, she was practically thrown into his embrace, her face pushed into his firm chest that still somehow smelled the same. She could feel a pick necklace poking at her, and in that moment, everything else faded. Because it felt real. It felt familiar. It felt like home.
"Austin," she finally managed to say, her voice choking with tears. "I've missed you so much. I never stopped thinking about you."
He broke apart from her, his eyes slightly hinting suspicion, "You stopped calling. You stopped contacting us all."
"I know," she cried. "I know. I'm so sorry for all of it. I know you've got a show, and a soundcheck, but if you give me the chance to explain it all sometime after, I will."
"I've got soundcheck," he confirmed. "You're welcome to watch. Please don't go anywhere… I want to talk to you." He paused, as security called his name again. They reached toward him, dragging him toward the stage. "I've missed you too, Ally."
Those words played over and over again in her head for the next hour. She could faintly hear his soundcheck from the room she sat in, pondering what would happen, but she couldn't force herself to watch it in front of him. One of the songs sounded familiar to her and she realized it was one of the first they'd ever wrote together. Her stomach churned at that, a mix between pleased and guilty. She could only hope he'd hear her out and give her a chance.
She didn't see him before the concert. He had to greet some fans who won a contest, and then had to change into his actual show outfit. She asked security to escort her somewhere so that she could watch from a safe distance, finding herself on a balcony that was somehow in his clear view. She remained perched there through the opening acts, two great bands that put on a great show. Then, the lights dimmed and the music began to pound through the speakers, and a series of sounds went off.
The stage seemed to shake as one light focused on the center, and Austin rose from beneath it. He opened with one of the last songs they wrote together, called Illusion, bringing his fans to their feet, making them remember why they'd been waiting all that time. Austin Moon, the rock star, was officially at home on the stage.
She enjoyed the songs he played and was quite surprised that a vast majority of the ones he played were songs they'd written together. There were several that she didn't recognize but were equally as fun and loud. And then there was the song that Trish had talked about, the one that he'd written after finally breaking free of the depression she'd left him in. The lights went down, and he took a seat on the stage, gripping an acoustic guitar, and looking more nervous than she'd ever seen him in the years she had been his friend.
"Hey guys," he started. "Thanks for coming to the show tonight. We've still got a few more, but this one means a lot to me. It's the first song I ever wrote completely on my own and it holds a lot of meaning to me. It's extra special tonight because the person who inspired it is here in person. She means a lot to me and always has, so I hope she realizes how great it was to see her tonight. I hope she sticks around this time."
He paused, then began to strum with the background band the opening of a song that she realized she had heard before, but never realized it was Austin because he usually stuck with upbeat hits. Her heart fell in her chest. One of the greatest break up songs of all time, at least in recent years, was about her.
I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even
Her best days were some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
'Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even... even... no
What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK?
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces
They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks no it don't break even, even... no
What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK?
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces, yeah,
I'm falling to pieces
(One still in love while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
('Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even)
Oh, you got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame.
Now I'm tryna make sense of what little remains, ooh
'Cause you left me with no love and honor to my name.
I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break...
No, it don't break
No, it don't break even, no
What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you?
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK?
(Oh glad you're okay now)
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
I'm falling to pieces, yeah
(Oh I'm falling, falling)
I'm falling to pieces,
(One still in love while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
('Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even)
Oh, it don't break even no
Oh, it don't break even no
Oh, it don't break even no
The crowd went wild after the sad song finished, and Ally couldn't stop the tears that were streaming down her face. Even though they weren't, it felt like all eyes were on her, and she rushed to get away from the people around her, desperate to break away from the feeling the song just gave her. Unfortunately for her, the only way off the balcony left her right near the stage and Austin caught her right at the end. She paused, like a deer in the headlights, as his smiling eyes caught her tear stained ones. His smile fell immediately, and he glanced at the crowd only for a second to follow her off into the backstage area.
"Ally, wait!"
She continued to run, but he was faster. He always was.
For the second time that day, firm arms wrapped around her, holding her tightly in place. He breathed into her neck, refusing to let her move even an inch. "Please, let me go," she sobbed. "I've given you enough pain."
"And you think leaving now, after you showed back up tonight isn't going to cause me more?" he asked painfully.
She stopped moving, staring up at him. "I don't know what to do anymore."
"Give me until the end of the show," he begged. "Please don't go anywhere yet."
"I've hurt you," she whispered.
"And you'll hurt me more if you leave."
He pleaded with her until she finally agreed, but refused to go back on stage with him. She refused to sit at the balcony, instead made herself comfortable on some crates near it, with just a tiny view of his show. He sang another song she didn't recognize, and then ended with the same song that he'd sang the day she left. Can't Make it Without You. She was frozen in her seat hearing that song after all these years, that one hurt more than anything she'd heard so far since crossing the country to return to Miami.
Finally, after an encore, he returned to the backstage area, begging her to wait only a few more minutes so that he could quickly shower and change into something. She waited, like she promised, and walked back and forth between the hallways, pausing every few minutes to see if he was still in the dressing room. He exited only a couple seconds later, giving her an unsure smile. "Are you ready?"
"Yeah," she nodded, crossing her arms. "I am."
He offered his hand and Ally stared at it, not sure if she had the nerve to take it. He made the decision for her, putting it back at his side. He nodded once, as if he understood, and then followed her out of the building to where a dark SUV waited for them.
"We can come back for your car when the crowds leave," he explained. "I don't want anyone to mob you."
He probably said that incase the fans did do just that and made her even more nervous. It'd been a while she since experienced his faithful fans and she wasn't sure she could handle them tonight. He asked the driver instead to take them to a restaurant only several minutes away, and got them a seat far in the back. Luckily, it was empty anyway and no one seemed to bother them. They were silent as they ordered their meals, Austin a large dinner with room for dessert she was sure, and she blinked over the menu herself, not sure what she could afford. After all, when this was all said and done, she still had to supply something for her children.
"Get what you want," he ordered suddenly. "It's on me."
"I… Austin. No."
"I insist," he smiled. "Please."
She gave up after a moment, ordering a small sandwich for herself from the menu. The waiter disappeared, leaving the two former friends to stare at each other.
"I don't know where to start," she finally stated. "And I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry, and I hope you'll forgive me. I've done horrible things."
"Horrible?" he laughed, shaking his head. "Ally, you make it sound like you're a murderer." For a second, the childish look on her friend's face returned and he cracked a smile. "Wait, you're not a murderer now, are you?"
That broke the ice, and she laughed, pushing away his hands. "Oh, be quiet, Austin."
"There's my girl," he said quietly.
She melted at that and couldn't help but smile back. "Your girl has been gone for the last ten years."
"I know that. I'd like to hear about them."
"I'm not sure if you want to," she muttered. "It's probably not as glamorous as yours have been."
"You'd be surprised," he muttered, taking a sip of his drink. "I might be on stage every night, but it hasn't been an easy ride."
"I have two kids," she admitted suddenly, figuring that was the biggest thing that had changed. "One that's five, one that's three. Cameron and Lilly." She paused. "It's been two years since their father left me."
"Ally Dawson with kids," he mused, shaking his head. "I bet they're adorable."
"They're the only light in my life these days."
Austin's smile fell at that. "Were they… his?"
It was unspoken who he was. Everyone knew just how head over heels she'd been with Bryant, and if it was someone else, that would have been surprising. She took a sip of her water, then finally nodded. "Yes, they were his."
"And where is he now?"
"I don't know," she murmured. "He just picked up and left one day. I haven't heard from him since."
"Oh, Ally…"
She began to cry, unable to hold back anything else from the boy who she had known so well at one point. It wasn't quiet crying, it was downright sobbing again like she had at Trish's house. It all came blubbering out. All of Bryant's excuses, his lies, his anger, and… what she didn't admit to Trish for her personality would have made for a disaster; his abusiveness. She paused after admitting this to him, trying to gauge his reaction. To her surprise, he didn't seem disappointed in her. Just hurt.
She reached up her wrist, pulling the shirt up so that she could expose a long, thin scar. "He hit me with a beer bottle once. Cameron was only two years old at the time. I was pregnant."
Austin's fingers were grasping the table now, and he wouldn't look at her. This was what she expected. She knew he'd be disgusted with her and want nothing to do with such a pathetic loser like herself who let a man abuse her.
"Oh, Ally."
She covered her face. "I know, I deserved it all. I'm already aware of it. I should have been a better wife and maybe none of this wouldn't have happened. You don't have to tell me that."
"You don't honestly believe that do you, Ally?"
His question threw her off. The hurt, the anger behind it also caught her off guard, and she blinked back at him through her discomfort, wondering why he'd ask that. Of course she believed that. Why else would he have left her?
"Damn it, Ally," he growled, shaking his head. "I wish you knew where he was so I could take my hands and crush his skull with my fingers," he spat, and the table shook. He seemed to realize he was scaring her, and relaxed visibly. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Ally, this isn't your fault. Any of this. You did the best you could. I would have never told you this back then because you wouldn't have believed it, but Trish and I always thought he was trying to segregate you from those you loved. We could only confirm it when your parents moved back here and said they hadn't heard from you in several years. I always wanted to travel up there and find you, but Trish insisted the only time you'd be ready to come home was when you were ready. Do you realize just how strong you are to be here right now? You're here, Ally."
"I know," she sobbed, and he crossed the distance of the table so that they were on the same side and he held her as she finally broke completely of the last ten years.
"I've missed you so much, AllyGator," he whispered, soothingly rubbing her back as she burrowed herself into him. Ten years was a long time, and nothing felt more right then where she was now. He was right, she hadn't realized it all those years ago, but Bryant was simply a danger to her entire being and he controlled every aspect of her life. He'd done her a favor when he left that day and though it didn't seem like it, the last few weeks had been the first step in the right direction she'd made in almost a decade.
"Thank you."
He nodded, kissing her cheek. "You're here," he reminded her. "That's all that matters."
She relaxed after this and finally began to talk more openly about her children and how excited she was to watch them grow. "They love music like me," she admitted.
"Good," he laughed. She noticed him staring at her again after this, and raised her hands to her face. "Sorry, you're just… you've become even more beautiful after all these years."
She squeaked an answer, shaking her head. "You're not so bad yourself."
He shrugged. "Maybe."
"Have you heard from Cassidy?"
"Oh, yeah. She's in California. She married that guy in her band. She's happy."
"Good."
"What about Dallas? Ever hear from him again?"
Ally giggled, "Nope."
The two laughed.
"So," she pondered. "What about you?"
"What about me?"
"Well, I've been in Washington, Dez and Trish got married… that leaves you. The last of Team Austin. I know you've been touring and all that, but what have you really been up to?"
He leaned back on his seat. "Isn't it funny how they got married?"
"Always thought they would."
"I was his best man," he laughed. "Trish refused to have a maid of honor. She says it would always be reserved for you."
"You're avoiding the question," she commented quietly.
His smile faded, "Yeah."
"What about you?" she repeated.
He shrugged again, "It hasn't been easy." He glanced at the wall then back at her. "I didn't handle your absence well, as I'm sure you could tell by the song. I'm sorry you had to hear that tonight, Ally. It isn't an easy song for me to sing, and the only reason I do is because it became my biggest hit. It's the only song I've ever written that I felt like it was truly something worth listening to. The rest of my songs have no substance, no real growth to them. I needed you for that." Ally smiled a bit at that. "I slept around a lot during my early twenties. I can't tell you how many girls. I also drank. A lot. It almost cost me my record deal, and Dez was the one to wake me up. He reminded me of you. It's funny, in a way, you landed me there. That's in no way your fault, by the way. But at the same time, you got me out of my disaster. I began to clean myself up, got back on track, and recorded a new album. I forced myself to focus on the music, because I knew if you were here, that's what you would have wanted."
"I thought about you every day, too. Cameron reminds me of you sometimes. He's so determined yet he doesn't always think things through."
Austin blushed, "Jeez, thanks."
She laughed, "I mean that in the best way." Her voice hitched, "Guess we were both a mess without each other."
"I wish I could have fixed all that you went through," he whispered. "I wish I could fix it for you."
"I don't want you to fix it for me," she disagreed. "Everybody loses. That's just life."
"I just wish I could make it easier for you."
"You're here, you've accepted everything I told you and you haven't run," she pointed out. "That's enough. It's good to know some friends will always be there no matter what. I'm thankful for that."
"So, I've got two more shows left on this leg of the tour, then I head back home to Miami. You're more than welcome to join me on them. But if you want to head back there, too I understand. I know you've been away for so long and still have a lot to do."
"You mean a lot to me, Austin," she answered. "I'd love to stay with you. I think Trish and Dez planned for that anyway."
"Did I ever tell you why I was such a mess when you left, Ally?"
She glanced up from the last of her meal, not expecting the heavy question after such a few pleasing minutes. She shook her head, not sure what he was going to say.
"I spent so many of the months leading up to when you moved thinking that the feelings I had for you would go away. When I found your book that time, admitting you liked someone, I was terrified. I thought it was me, and did something stupid to pretend it wasn't. But then it wasn't me, and I was hurt. Because I wanted it to be."
Ally blinked, not expecting that.
"I've been trying to get over my first love for the last decade, Ally."
She remained silent for a minute after that, trying to process what he'd just said. No wonder he seemed so upset when she walked through the door earlier. It was a slap in the face to see her again after so long, and when she tried to run, he thought he was losing her all over again. Ally finally found her voice, "Maybe that's what led me back there. Yeah, I lived in Miami most of my life. But I also lived in Washington for a good part of it too. And the only times I ever truly happy was when I was with you."
They were soon kicked out of the restaurant because it'd been closed for nearly an hour. Ally picked up her car from the venue, and then followed him back to his hotel for the night. She still had a long way to go in the coming weeks but she felt the bruises that had formed so long ago begin to fade, she was finally starting to heal. And for the first time in a decade, she felt at home.