So this oneshot is ridiculous. And I'm sorry that my Konan and Pein oneshot doesn't have more Konan and Pein. But it was too much fun writing the other stuff and I'm trying to keep the rating T for this one. Which is something of a miracle considering the amount of M stuff I write.
Anyways hope you enjoy these characters who aren't mine.
"Alright, it's your turn Deidara. Truth or dare?"
The blonde thought for a moment. "Truth," he decided out loud.
The person who'd asked the question, Hidan, grinned wickedly…although that was his usual expression. "Okay then. How many girls have you banged?" he asked, placing extra emphasis on the "bang" as to make fun of Deidara's catch phrase.
Deidara shrugged. "Probably about two thousand. The number's too high to count."
Everybody gasped in shock, well except for Tobi because he didn't really get what was going on. Kisame managed to stutter, "You had sex with over two thousand different girls?"
It was at this point that Deidara realized that he'd misinterpreted the question. He'd taken "banged" for meaning "blown up." But he didn't want to answer the real question. It was too embarrassing.
"I, erm…No, I haven't," he answered nervously, trying to find the least embarrassing way to answer the question.
Zetsu asked, "How many then?"
Deidara frowned and looked thoroughly uncomfortable. "Well, actually…it's…okay fine! None! Are you happy?"
Everybody burst out laughing except for Deidara and Itachi, who happened to be smirking in amusement. This of course made Deidara very angry. "Why is that so funny?" he shouted out.
When the Akatsuki's laughter finally ended, Kisame answered, "It's funny because you're Mr. Charismatic Pretty Boy. Girls usually go crazy over that sort of thing. I mean even Itachi, who doesn't say more than like two words in a sentence, has done it with a girl." Itachi glared at his partner.
This sent Deidara over the edge. He always hated being compared to Itachi and not measuring up. So he "accidentally" made a clay spider and blew up the table. After that he stormed away, ranting incoherently, and going to hide in his room for the rest of the night.
The stunned Akatsuki members looked at the burnt up pile of ash that had just several seconds earlier been a table. "So uh, who's next?" Hidan asked.
"Not sure," Kakuzu put in.
"Yeah I know. It was Deidara's turn to ask, but he's obviously not playing anymore," Kisame said.
"Hidan go," Itachi grumbled irritably.
"Fine," Hidan said, then stopped to think of who he wanted to ask.
It was during this time, that the ever-elusive Leader and his female partner walked into the kitchen. All heads turned to stare at the pair. "What are you doing?" the Leader asked them.
"Nothing really," Zetsu said. "Just a game of truth or dare."
The blue haired woman raised her eyebrows. "Could I play?" she inquired. "I haven't played this game is so long."
"Umm…sure," Kisame responded.
"Come on Pein," the woman prompted. "You play too. It'll be fun."
"Fine Konan, but I don't want to," he said as he pulled up a chair and sat down.
She stuck her tongue out at him and sat down in Deidara's vacated seat. Kisame announced, "Alright Hidan, go."
Hidan who now had a very evil look on his face said, "Alright Konan. This one's for you. Truth or dare?"
Konan smirked. "I'm going to chose dare."
"Alright then. I dare you to make-out with one of us playing the game."
Everybody looked at Hidan liked he'd lost his mind. But Konan calmly stood up. "I accept," she said with a smirk. She walked over to Pein and ran her hand across his shoulders. He stood up and faced her. She kissed his lips, giving him a little tongue with it. Things started to escalate from there, while the other members watched in awe. Of course Pein and Konan showed no signs of letting up and pretty soon, they started pulling off each other's clothes.
So the game of Truth or Dare got disrupted as the Akatsuki members filed out of the kitchen so that they wouldn't have to witness the result of where the make-out session in the kitchen was headed. They sat in the living room area watching the T.V. really loud to block out the noises coming from the kitchen. Still they couldn't quite turn it up loud enough and they heard the phrases, "Oh Konan!" and "Oh Pein!" screamed out quite a few times. Itachi frowned, and muttered, "Oh goody. Time for more mental repression," as he thought back to the time years ago when he'd walked in on his parents. He shuddered at the images.
They turned the T.V. up to its maximum volume and when the episode of Sailor Moon ended the noises coming from in the kitchen had ceased. Hidan frowned. "I'm not cleaning that up," he announced. "I only asked for a make-out session, not a love-making session."
Kisame said, "Everyone who votes for Hidan to clean it up, raise your hand."
Every single hand went up. So Hidan stood up, muttering profanities under his breath and went off to clean the kitchen.
I really do like this one a lot. The Akatsuki members playing truth or dare was priceless for me. And I had to have them watch Sailor Moon. It was too perfect. And I loved the awkwardness. Oh, and Itachi killed his parents because of the naked images of them that plague his mind whenever he closes his eyes. XD I'm seriously crazy. Anyways, I hope you liked it and please leave me some reveiws.